dont take this to your tattooer

Sooooo if your thinking of getting tattooed and didnt know how it works heres what to do .
Go on the internet and find a tattoo offline that you like , pinterest of just any site . Go into the shop and show them the picture of that tattoo , say you want this but you want to make it your own , so add like a heart or something changing it by 1%. Make sure you bring 10-15 friends minimum , and bring that 1 friend who has 1 tattoo because hes a tattoo expert. He can help the artist understand what you want by talking for you , tattooers prefer this. Once everything is nailed down and your about to put the stencil and the artist asks you to sit , look at the chair as is if you have never seen a chair let alone understand how to sit in it . Try to sit awkwardly as the artist keeps trying to explain how to sit . Ignore him, continue trying to wrestle the chair. Once your settled and its about to start , have one of your 15 friends you brought start taking pictures. I mean like your on the red carpet take like 100 at least . When the artist does the first line , move and flinch , continue this for the whole process . Tattooers like a challenge and if you sat still it would be boring , so feel free to talk on your phone ,Get drinks , kick your legs , artists will just work around you dont worry . Now you should be about a quarter way into your tattoo, ask if its bleeding , ask this about every 10 min throughout the process. If they say yes ,act like you have never seen blood and cant believe that you would bleed getting poked with a needle. Have your friends start asking questions , like whats the craziest tattoo they have ever done , or if they get to see boobs all the time. Tattooers do , they get to see any girls boobs that walks in the shop thats just how it works. As the tattoo is getting close to being done ask if any reddness will stay permanent or any of the purple . When you get done have every single friend look at it and make sure they make any suggestions as to what the tattoo needs . Once its wrapped ask the tattooer how to take care of it . While hes explaining drift off and day dream about other things and ignore him , then look at him blankly and say OK. After that explain that you cant tip because you forgot to get any cash , you can tip on debit but tattooers hate that so just dont . As your leaving have 2-4 of your friends you brought ask the artist how much they tattoos they want would cost . Make sure they go into great detail and they all want it in a few months . After you leave toss that pesky care sheet in the trash , you cant carry it around all day . In 5 months come in and ask for a touch up even tho it looks fine. Tattooers like to tattooer things 2 times . And thats it . If you do this tattooers will love you .
—  Randdy Randerson