dont swallow

Zodiac Chats:
  • Aries: We should really show the world your talent!
  • Pisces: yeah but i really dont mind just doing it for my own self
  • Aries: people really need to see how great you are, heck i should probably do the same
  • Pisces: i mean i dont wanna get swallowed up by what everyone thinks
  • Aries: okay well ill help you, plus i kinda wanna see how far my talents take me too

genji probably laughed only like once or twice when he was in overwatch before he left

a rare occurance…

anyways they’re laughing bc… idk strike commander morrison said something completely off base and second strike amari roasted him for it in front of everybody right there in the mess hall and this is the third time they’ve heard this story from somebody who was there  despite both of them being there to witness it first hand but it’s one of those stories that gets funnier every time it’s repeated

anyway

anonymous asked:

I wanna marry you, suck your dick, swallow what comes out and then induce vomit so that it will be halal and i dont swallow the maniyy, but just so you know you're hot and this is why i have this fantasy please marry me

Someone please come get this person

Michigan gothic

 -Wandering through an apple orchard, deeper and deeper until it is too dark to see your hand in front of your face. You hear rustling behind you. You wished you had told someone where you were going.

-There are potholes everywhere you turn. One is so deep you cant see the bottom. You drive over it anyway and pray you dont get swallowed up by whatever you are sure lives inside.

-The weather report says the first day of spring is tomorrow. You look outside. It is a blizzard. You can hear eerie voices faintly calling your name. You plug your ears. It doesnt matter. You have to go outside eventually.

-Orange traffic cones line the streets. Do not touch the cones. They give warning of worse things to come. They haunt you, even in your dreams.

-You go to Tulip Time. You stand shivering in the rain watching the clog dancers march by. The ritual has begun.

-You drive up north to see the colors. You only hope the colors dont see you. There are so many colors. They completely surround you. Wait, thats not a color. Is it? You have been driving so long everything is blurring together.You cant even tell up from down as you fall into a void of swirling colors.

-People ask where you’re from. You point to your hand and they nod solemnly. Words are not needed. The silence stretches on.

-You take the boat to Mackinac Island. The water is churning. You try not to imagine what creatures reside in the waters below. You see the island looming ahead. You try to ignore the scratching on the underside of the boat.       

-You make it to the island. There are so many horses. You hope one day to find the elder horse. You are not even sure it exists, but you have heard stories. Legend says that if you find it, you get all the free fudge you can eat.

my roommates are so boring..i can hear them in the living room talking to one of our guy friends like “vagina is so ugly haha it freaks me out lmao i would never hook up w a girl,” “i hate sucking dick i don’t want that in my mouth haha,” “i dont swallow,” like get a life be an Original

WHY DOES GOKU ALWAYS EAT A SENSU BEAN LIKE HE JUST ATE AN ENTIRE BAG OF PITA CHIPS

ITS A SMALL FUCKIN BEAN

AND DONT DO THAT SWALLOW THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOURE DUNKING DOWN TEN GALLONS OF SEMEN

ITS JUST A BEAN YOU DONT EVEN NEED TO CHEW ON IT