dont need people

this is a long, heavy post, but ive wanted to make it for a while. i hope if you or someone you know has been in an abusive situation, it may help.

when you are abused, the true ramifications of this abuse do not manifest themselves until you are much older.

when you are abused (in any form) as a young person, your first gut instinct will be to turn down therapy/counselling. you might do this because you do not feel you need it, or you do not want to talk about what happened. you need to push past this.

when we experience abuse as young people, we may feel like it was ‘no big deal’. we may compare ourselves to other victims and feel that we are not as bad as them, so that means we are okay. you may feel okay. you may be a young person reading this right now, thinking ‘well, i feel okay.’

i know you do. we all feel like that we’re younger.

you will get older and your untreated abuse will manifest in your life, your body and your emotions. you may develop terrible habits. your body may start to react in strange ways. you may have to struggle with seemingly unexplained bouts of nausea and vomiting as a reaction to ‘normal’ events that have connections to your abuse. you may develop mental health issues and will not understand why. you may grow angry and withdrawn, or deeply depressed for seemingly no reason.

then on one terrible night, you will connect the dots and realise that although you felt invincible as a young person, your abuse affected you.

if therapy is offered to you or you can find it, go to it. abuse does not go away or magically resolve itself. no amount of pretending you are okay will take away what happened. it may hurt to revisit our old wounds, but it is the only way to heal.

it is never to late to heal. if you are an adult who refused therapy and you are struggling, get yourself there, find help, and heal. and if you are a young person reading this, please strongly consider therapy, even if you do not feel you need it.

even if you feel like your abuse did not affect you, let people in. give yourself the chance to heal. do not let your abuser take even more of your life than they already have.

let yourself heal.

A story from the line at McDonald's
  • Me: okay so my sexuality's a complicated deal so let's just call me queer as hell
  • Friend: nono I wanna know can't you explain it
  • Me: well ok mainly I am asexual which means I don't want to do the do nor do I long for it, so it has nothing to do with lack of confidence or anything like that, I simply don't find anyone sexually attractive
  • Friend: right right
  • Me: but I'm also bi romantic. The sexual and romantic attraction are different, and I still fall in love and want to have physical contact with my partner, I just don't need the hanky panky
  • Friend: right cause you have a girlfriend that's pansexual right
  • Me: exactly and as long as we're both happy with not doing the rumba naked, that's a valid relationship
  • Friend: I get it, I get it... I didn't know the entire sexual and romantic orientations were different
  • Me: yeah I know it was an eyeopener for me when I found ou-
  • Lady behind us in line: excuse me so sorry but I couldn't help but overhear but I didn't know half of what you just said and I was just wondering what that thing your girlfriend was is, pansexual?
  • Me: *awkward glance at friend* oh uh I'm not an expert or anything and uh ok so basically it's similar to being bisexual, but there's less value in what gender the one you're attracted to is, at least as I understood it. So a bisexual would be attracted to a person despite their gender, a pansexual wouldn't really care at all in a way uh I'm sorry I'm bad at explaining
  • Lady behind us in line: that's alright I can look it up myself later you gave me a general idea! So where did you find out these things, you're pretty young?
  • Me: well, Internet. Once you're a bit confused about what you might be you usually go looking for explanations...
  • Lady behind us in line: so uh in theory... It's fine if you don't know, I just want to check with you... Is there a thing called aROMANTIC? like you're asexual, is there a equivalent to the romantic orientation you mentioned?
  • Me: oh yeah, absolutely! You can be both asexual and aromantic, or aromantic and heterosexual, literally all combinations are possible!
  • Lady behind us in line: *smiles LIKE REALLY GODDAMNED GENUINELY* thank you so much, I did not know that. *fishes up phone from pocket* now if you excuse me, I'm going to call my mother and tell her I'm not crazy for never having been married or stayed with one guy for long despite being 50+ but still has three children! *steps out of line and walks off while dialing*
  • Friend: wow that was... Amazing
  • Me: see how happy she got? That's the power of right information.
  • And that's why I've been smiling since this happened.
  • neurotypical: wow you sure have a lot of friends!
  • me: why thank you for noticing. I really only care about one (1) of them, the others are there to fuel my need for constant unending attention and will be discarded after doing their job. I also lovingly construct a different personality for each and every one of them (:
Do’s and Don’ts Fanfiction Addition

(All of this goes for my asthetics as well)

DO’S

1. Hit like if you think the story is good. 

2. Hit reblog if you think it is really good. It spreads the story around tumblr and never takes away credit from it’s owner. 

3. If you see mistakes in a fic send a kind ask or IM asking if the author is interested in you telling them about them. Be kind and respectful and remember most work has already been passed by a beta and you are sitting with a finished product before you. 

4. Leave feedback in forms of replies, reblogs or asks. Authors are a sensitive bunch and lack of feedback is discouraging and can make us wanna stop at times. 

5. If you think it is really awesome create a recommendation post. Add all your favs with summaries and maybe even a small blurb why it was so good. Link to the original fic and tag the authors. 

DON’Ts

1. Don’t send an anon ask telling the author how the story sucked. Actually don’t tell the author the story sucked. If you don’t like - scroll past. You are not a reviewer. Art is subjective and what you hate another person can love. You’re opinion is not facit. If you feel the abosolute need to voice your opinion be specific: “I felt this was out of character because…” And rule of thumb for every negative thing you say. Say two possitive. People are not gonna listen to assholes. 

2. Don’t kink shame. Don’t ship shame! Not in reblogs. Not in replies. Not in aks. No where. If it is not your cuppa tea - scroll past. 

3. DON’T LEAVE HATE for a character or actor the fic is about in your reblog of the fic. Don’t send asks like that or leave replies like that either. If the person/character was portrayed in a possitive light in the fic it is probably cause the author loves and respects said person/character. Don’t be a dick! 

4. DON NOT COPY PASTE ANYTHING ANYWHERE!!! I do not care if you copy paste fics or download aesthetics for your own use. If you didn’t ask - YOU ARE STEALING!! If you post it elsewhere without the authors permission it is plagiarism. I don’t care if you say the fic or aesthetic is not yours. It is THEFT! If you want something to post - CREATE! That’s how the rest of us does it. No it is not easy. But it is honest and the likes, followers, reblogs, comments… they are all earned and won’t leave you with a bitter aftertaste. 

JUST THINK PEOPLE. WOULD YOU LIKE THIS DONE TO YOU? NO? THEN DON’T DO IT TO OTHERS. BE KIND. BE RESPECTFUL. AND IF IN DOUBT? ASK THE OWNER! ALWAYS ASK.  

Keep reading

updated version on this -> http://luxjii.tumblr.com/image/154971706109

PSA for anybody who has ever felt insecure about how they write their character. Remember why you began writing them in the first place. Remember how much they mean to you and how much you enjoy writing them. There will be other people roleplaying the same character as you, it is inevitable, but there is only one of YOU and only one who plays the character the way YOU play them. You bring something special to that character. Something that nobody can mimic or do the same as because nobody is just like you. You need to accept that, and accept that there will be others, but just like you they will be playing the character their own way as well. Nobody is better. Nobody is the same. Nobody deserves to play a character more than another person does. This is no popularity contest and you should never feel as though you aren’t worthy of playing a character just because you or someone else has made you feel that way. Instead of comparing yourself to others who play the same character as you; try to embrace the differences and admire them. Cheer up and keep on keeping on. You love your character, you love roleplaying as that character, and in the end that is all that matters.

you can’t deny that a woman’s sexual history with men is considered first and foremost when discussing her lesbianism. Sally Ride? Can’t be a lesbian, she married a man. Eleanor Roosevelt? Can’t be a lesbian, she married a man. Every historical lesbian, all the way back to Sappho, has to have her lesbianism questioned, critiqued, and ultimately denied, all because they had, at one point, interacted sexually with men.

Personally, I consider this an especially cruel form of homophobia. Not only were these women denied the right to be lesbians while they lived, but they can’t even be recognized as lesbians in death.

And to top it all off, they are so often denied to be lesbians on the basis of ‘bi erasure.’ You can’t say Sally Ride was a lesbian because she was married to a man so that’s bi erasure. It’s a kind of homophobia that’s masked under the cover of LGBT activism and representation, when in reality it’s not just erasing lesbians, it’s replacing them with ‘better’ versions of themselves: lesbians attracted to men.

I’m not saying bi women don’t exist, or don’t get to take pride in the women who have represented them throughout history. But you don’t get liberal brownie points for coming after lesbians and co-opting history that doesn’t belong to you. Stop being homophobic to make yourselves feel better about being marginalized. It’s rude, it’s cruel, and it’s useless. Take pride in the women and history that is actually yours.

anonymous asked:

Oh god, I'm in love with the way you draw Hazel. She looks great! Could you maybe draw Rachel? (Only if you want to of course) She is my alltime favourite from the pjo-books and I sometimes have the feeling that she doesn't get enough attention. (I mean she's awesome! :D)

Thank you!! <3

Oh man yes! I have such strong feelings for Rachel and I really don’t get why people sometimes forget her?  

She truly is awesome