dont make me eat the dog

anonymous asked:

My friend does not believe me that ppl who judge dog shows are heartless (they get to pet SO MANY DOGS and they tell most of them that they're not the best dog ever) thoughts?

to keep myself from having to personally hunt down and assassinate every dog show judge, i will offer this rationale: they are not deciding which dog is BEST, they are deciding which dog is MOST DOG. ie. it is not that you are not the best dog, it is simply that you are not as perfect an embodiment of a jack russel terrier as this other dog. but still a very good dog. 

please dont make me hunt down all the dog show guys. i already have my hands so full of evil scientists and robots and fucking nazis again. 

every dog is the best dog. except that one jerk who stole my whole lunch in central park last summer. that jerk sucks. i waited in line for like an hour for that sandwich you little thief it was gonna be so good and you didnt even eat it you ran straight into a pond with it

  • Me: Hey, do you know what time class ends?
  • Student Athlete: time?? i aint got time. im up in the gym every day workin on these gainsss๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ˜ค u think i got time to worry bout class. ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ…๐Ÿ… nah fam only bout SUCCESS and how we GON MAKE IT.๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜ค aint got no time to help u bruh i can only think about mySELF!๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ˜ค its a dog ๐Ÿถ eat dog ๐Ÿถ WORLD ๐ŸŒŽ๐ŸŒŽboy u gotta be focusing on ur OWN SUCCESS.๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ…๐Ÿ… only time i got is for BEING THE BEST. ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ”› ๐Ÿ” dont sleep on me boy imma be the best๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿผ1โƒฃ๏ธ โ— โ—
  • Me:
  • Student Athlete:
  • Me:
  • Student Athlete:
  • Me: wow

i would like to make a complete list of all the things that are wrong with my workplace (iโ€™ve worked at bed bath and beyond for about 3 years now), because im mentally prepping myself to quit. iโ€™ve made a resume and iโ€™ve applied to other places and honestly i cannot believe all the bullshit ive had to put up with so far so here goes:

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i just really love having a staring contest with my dog lol is this odd char ganda kasi nung mata nya and she’s a kind of dog who really loves kisses hahaha whenever i hold her, she loves kisses so much that she just tries to reach for my lips all the time, sometimes i joke around opening my mouth like im going to eat her  hahaha i dont know i just find it cute that wow this creature whom i know cant understand me much makes us so happy, im just really thankful to have a dog no, to have a family like her :-) i just really love her despite the fact na nasakanya na yung koronang ‘’prinsesa’’ sa bahay, literally hahaha. 

i saw this big fat sheep plush at the store with lil pointy horns and i wanted it so bad because wow me but it was like 40 dam dollars!!!!!!! i also want to eat all the chocolate because its easter season (i dont celebrate western easter but i still love all the candy and cute stuff in stores suckers) but also the thought of eating chocolate makes me really upset right now annnnnd i wanna walk my dog today but im afraid itl slip my mind so im writing it here right now :+} and thats whats going on!!!!!!!!

angelspup  asked:

wht about you an your bf tell me abt him!! i love hearin people talk abt there s/o

ahhhh i love him so much hes so cute tonight he and his friends are getting dressed up fancy to go to “the mcdonalds in the nice part of town” theyre so weird i dont understand. he yells at people who are mean to me and he loves his dog and he feeds her way too much human food smh. he loves vegemite for some reason but HATES PEANUT BUTTER?? who hates peanut butter?? one time he said he had a crush on me so i made him message me off anon and now we’re dating. i like making fun of him for the way he says ‘bed’ bc he says it like beaaad. he claps every time i burp. he really hates crunchy sounds so i make sure when im eating on skype i do it as loudly as possible because i love him. hes lactose intolerant and i also like to make fun of him for that. every time he mutes his microphone bc someone came into his room i like to say obnoxious funny things to make him laugh while hes having a Serious Conversation. He wears a spinner ring all the time n its really cute. he has a dog plush that i call cailean in my head. every time i tell him to come cuddle he says ‘m on my way’. basically i love him with everything in me n hes the best boyfriend i could ever ever ask for 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

I was tagged by @mrs-messi​  thanks i love you :D 

Coke or pepsi: Coke
Disney or dreamworks: DISNEY 
Coffee or tea: Tea (but during winter i tend to drink more coffee)
Books or movies: Movies 
Windows or mac: Windows 
Dc or marvel: Marvel
Xbox or playstation: None
Dragon age or mass effect: None
Night owl or early riser: Night owl 
Cards or chess: Cards
Chocolate or vanilla: CHOCOLATE
Vans or converse: Converse
Lavellan, trevelyan, cadash, or adaar: None (wtf idk what is this)
Fluff or angst: BOTH -> dont make me choose!! you bad person bye 
Beach or forest: Beach 
Dogs or cats: BOTH -> Again… don’t make me choose i love all the animals 
Clear skies or rain: Clear skies -> motto for workout 
Cooking or eating out: Eating 
Spicy food or mild food: Spicy food
Halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: Halloween/Christmas 

Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: A little too hot

If you could have a superpower, what would it be: Read and/or manipulate people’s mind 
Animation or live action: Both
Paragon or renegade: None, idk what is this
Baths or showers: Baths
Team cap or Team ironman: Damn it! IDK! Maybe Ironman? omg idk
Fantasy or sci-fi: Fantasy
Do you have three or four favourite quotes? If so what are they?: By the moment i can’t remember sorry D: 
Youtube or netflix: Youtube
Harry potter or percy jackson: Harry Potter
When do you feel accomplished: Never, I’m always looking for more
Star wars or star trek: Star wars
Paperback books or hardback books: Hardback books
Horror or rom-com? None
To live in a world without literature or music: WTF neither
Pastel colors or dark colors: Pastel colors 
Tv shows or movies: Movies
City or countryside: City
If any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: Idk
If you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be? Idk, it’s a really complicated uestion
Cinema or theatre? - Cinema
If you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be? Naruto lol, that boy did everything, even the impossible to bring his bff back 
Smiling or smirking? - Damn idk… maybe smirking? it’s sexy lol
Are you an ‘all or nothing’ type or are you more consistent? - All or nothing, go big or go home bitch
Playlists or your whole library on shuffle? Shuffle 
Travelling or staying at home? Both
If you could have a meal with three people, alive and dead, who would you choose? Obama because he is cool, Michael Phelps because I love him so much and obviously Cristiano Ronaldo because i love him even more <3
Favourite sports team? Football: Real Madrid // Baseball: Blue Jays
Paris or London? Idk, maybe Paris 

I tag @scottmcwinchester @bero11bero @admiration-is-a-way-of-loving @placna

anonymous asked:

Sorry, but did you decide anything for Jack Walsh yet? I can't remember if he has a ghoul grumps form or not

@keenveins talked to me about pepperjack in the au alot and eventually I settled for having Jack be a werewolf I just forgot to make a post about it u_u Sorry if that confused some peeps :<

the thought of both jacks being exasperated with people. Like “ No, its not ‘basically the same thing’ there are very real differences between both breeds.”

“No, I dont howl at the moon, Mark, thats a werewolf thing.”

“No, I cant just eat that Vernon, Im a werewolf not a dog, bud.”

the signs as random shit I've said

Aries: *finds out in gym class that school is cancelled tomorrow* SHIIIIITTTTTTTTT YEEEAAAAAAAHHHH *makes animal noises*

Taurus: don’t you love it wen you get a text from your mom at 11:59 and wen you look at it at midnight it says yesterDAY HAHAHAH YEAH

Gemini: *is asked by teacher which life event was the scariest to me* *lies* yeah idk what event in my life scared me the most hahahh…*everyone stares at me and raises eyebrows* oK THE TRUTH IS I GET SCARED SO MUCH I DONT KNOW WHICH TIME WAS THE SCARIEST *hides*

Cancer: i have way too many fucking stuffed animals

Leo: PLEASE DONT MAKE THE NECK GRAVY AGAIN

Virgo: waittt if people eat meat from chicken why don’t they eat feathers too

Libra: WHY IS THE WORLD CRUEL TO ME WHY DO ALL OF MY FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS DIE I JUST ALSKSMFN

Scorpio: *literally mutters incantations while going to the bathroom without remembering it and is later asked by friends if you’re possessed*

Sagittarius: *sees pumpkin that looks nice but is rotten inside* when he’s hot but has a shit personality

Capricorn: *watches mom slice HOME MADE DOG TREATS into smaller pieces* soo satisfying

Aquarius: look at that dog. that’s a nice dog.

Pisces: *randomly* wHeN aM I GonNa StaRT liViNG mY liFE

anonymous asked:

do ya parents no what tentabulges are? type in tenetabulges on tumblr and show them. please. if so share reasdtion

Well my mom has only heard of the word “tentabulge” before since I have a beautiful Erisol tentabulge heart on my bed

So after awhile I finally got the will to do it. My dad is sadly not going to be apart of this, because he is at work…. but luckly my mom’s friend was there to take up for him.
So i sat them down, looked up tentabulges, explained what they where and showed them.

“ Is he trying to eat it?”
“ no mom….”

“ I would eat it ”
* Mom and I turn to her friend like ….. did you just say what i think you said*

“ wait … i dont get it….. who is taking it … ?” - Moms friend
* me trying not to laugh and opening my mouth to explain *

“ little horn guy is taking pretty boy ” - my mom

“ it would be nice to have a tentabug ”- Mom
“ you go mom…… and tentabulge”
“Yea….” - Mom



*They look at a amporacest threesome, my mom starts making dirty jokes, my moms friends looses it and is actaully crying while she laughs*
My dog- Help me

Then we sat around for the next hour looking at tentabulges…..

Thanks for the … weird request anon…. I hoped you liked it

anonymous asked:

Hello! Can you please make BTS react to you cooking for the first time and inviting them to eat together but when they see what you're cooking, its something that they dont like and you dont realize/know at all. Thankyou~

Jin:

*back hugs you as he observes your cooking disaster creation* “Jagiya, let’s cook together~” *pleading puppy dog eyes*

Suga:

*thinks to himself* “Uhh.. I guess what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.”

J-Hope:

“Jagiya, this looks just too good to share between the two of us. Let me call the rest of the members over. No worries. You don’t have to thank me.” *hurries off before you can call him out*  “Oh! Taehyung?”

Rapmon:

“I know we’ve been dating for a while but did I ever mention I’m allergic alligators?” *looks at the alligator meat staring back at him*

Jimin:

*gives a forced pained smile* “Th-This is delicious, Jagiya. Thank you so much for cooking.”

V:

“Jagiya, can you get me some water?” *diverts your attention and dumps his food until your plate, clearing his* “Well, that was delicious. Too bad we don’t have seconds!”

Funnyransom: Can anybody help me find the gif from American Hustle Life where he spits the onion out, tricking Jungkook? OTL. PLEASE.

Jungkook:

“Can i help you cook?” *sabotages your cooking to alter his tastebuds without you knowing* 

Seventeen as House Pets

S.Coups: your giant chocolate lab that thinks hes a puppy but really hes like 7years old. (thats like 49 in dog years, and he still climbs on you for belly rubs)

Jeonghan: hes a pure white persian cat with crystal blues eyes. he will only eat fresh salmon or tuna and his water needs to be sparkling. (dont try to give him anything else. trust me he can tell.) he also sleeps in a princess bed…with fluffy curtains…in his own room…

Joshua: hes your seeing eye dog and when you guys go to church he howls witht he chorus. (amazinggggg graceeeee.. AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!)

Jun: hes a little shih tzu that humps anything and everything he sees. you even had him neutered to be safe but that just seemed to make it worse.

Hoshi: one of those dogs that barks at anything that moves or makes noise outide but when you come home he runs around in circles being SUPER EXCITED  and kind of tinkles the floor. HOSHI!! not again D:

Wonwoo: hes a fish that never moves and sometimes you think its dead but when you put food in his tank he eats it all so fast. (you almost flushed him down the toilet once but you couldnt find him)

Woozi: hes your cat that you barely see but but one day you discover that hes got a whole army of mice in a separate part of the house trained to do his bidding. you went to give him food once but he gave you a death stare so you moved out so you wouldnt disturb him and his minions

DK: hes your rooster that you had just gotten and every morning he helps by waking you up for your day. it was nice at first but then it got really annoying. for some reason he forgot the diference between night and day. DK SHUT UP ITS LIKE 1PM!!!!

Mingyu: hes a really big dog, a weird breed you’ve never heard of, and hes really pretty but also reallydumb. he chases his tail, runs into the wall, and drools everywhere.  sometimes he tries to steal your food when your not looking

The8: hes one of those teddy bear dogs, and everytime you sit down to relax he squishes himself under your hand so you will pet him. and some times you catch him outside jsut staring at a dog and the dog runs away scared. you have no idea what it is but you dont question him.

Seungkwan: hes your pet mouse that you have trained to sing and dance (kind of like alvin and the chipmunks but better) he also really likes to dress up with bows and mini sweaters for some reason.

Vernon: hes a cocker spaniel that can do lots of cool tricks but for some reason he always seems to run into things like the glass sliding door. (you even put stickers on the door and everything. you would think hed learn by now…..)

Dino: hes your brand new puppy whos eyes arent even open yet so he stumbles around everywhere and falls over and bumps into walls but hes so cute so you just let him go. he also seems to really like micheal jackson songs

To all non Otherkin out there

I feel I need to stress this because a lot of non-otherkin users on tumblr dont try to learn about otherkin before judging and leaving nasty anon hate to innocent users who have done nothing wrong but find happiness in discovering their kinself.

Remember,

Otherkin is a spiritual belief that your SOUL is connected with or has taken shape of an animal or mythical creature or anything like that. Its a way for people to learn more about themselves and connecting with their kintype will make them happier than ever by doing some activities related to it or meditating to try discover what they looked like (As simple as sitting on a bus, reflecting on things to find answers)

This goes for the majority of the otherkin community, however people who are otherkin based on mental illness and other topics, you guys will have to research it yourself because Im not familiar with it. This is just what otherkin is for me and many other people!

Otherkin does not mean you are physically an animal or mythical creature. It is NOT a gender. It also does not mean they put themselves in danger by doing things humans shouldnt do (Like eating gems and trying to fly) Otherkin know they are human and have very human lives but to find happiness or even as a way to cope with bad times, being closer to their kintype can really make their lives better.

For me, otherkin is a very private thing. I dont identify as a dragon because people dont know I am one. I also dont show it off either. It’s just something I keep to myself. I am a dragon spiritually and Im happy to keep that to myself.

Otherkin who actually think they are an actual dog or bird or wolf or fairy.. they are most likely a troll or someone who is very young and doesnt actually understand what otherkin is.

On nounself pronouns, I dunno, Im not against anyone who uses them but I find it very silly because otherkin is not a gender. 

But anyway, anyone who seems very over the top with being otherkin are most likely a troll or someone very young and guys, those of you who are not otherkin, please try and realise otherkin is a belief. Its like religion. You cannot prove or deny that it exists but Im sure many of you respect people who’s religion is different to yours. Why dont you try do the same for otherkin because it’s basically the same thing (Although otherkin is not a religion because there is no worship or set rules, but its similar because of the spiritual aspect)

Please respect people for what they believe in, try to learn about it and if someone is completely over the top about it, just ignore them.

Razors and Tassels: A Peaky Blinders Love Story (Tommy & Mimi)

Who knew a little nobody from Brooklyn could make it to the big stage in London?

Not long ago I was dancing for scraps in Paddington with a bunch of gypsies, nice folk taught me how to play guitar and the accordion, and a jovial red Irish named Katie Collins saved me from a life of poverty.

I danced for the London stage and they liked me so much I became head showgirl, the star! It isnt acting and it isnt entertaining for a gentlemans club it’s better it’s burlesque and I managed to become the most famous in Great Britain.

The American Rose!

It doesnt make a lot of money it keeps me fed and the lights on, but the major stuff like going to operas and plays, wearing furs and diamonds and eating sweets from my mothers country are luxuries given to me by fancy men, I’m not exactly a whore I dont sleep with anybody I just go out to dinner and shows with them, let them hold my hand and kiss me, they buy me things and sometimes pay my rent.

I live in a apartment in West End with the occassional alley cat and street dog, it is very La vie Bohéme, to some it isnt a life to live but to a girl from the streets it’s Buckingham Palace.

Tonight was the show of The Peacock Queen, played by me and the girls play other birds theres swan, sparrow, raven, flamingo, parrot, robin, dove, hummingbird, and blue jay.

Before the show had begun I received a bouquet of pink roses and a diamond necklace, it really doesnt compare to the amount afterwards and I get to go eat at the classiest restaurant in London Town, could life get any better?

anonymous asked:

bf broke up w me im a mess lmao :-'(

ugh boys suck, you dont need him ok

here is a list of food stuffs you canmake to take your mind off it or just make really fast to eat your feelings:

adorable animal thingies bc animals are way better than boys:

loads of movies:

i hope you feel better <3

โ˜…Thank you for 1000+ followers!โ˜…

1000+ already!?!?? it feels like only yesterday that i started this blog! time sure flies when youre having fun, huh? thank you so much for sticking with me all this time, even though my content as of late hasnt been exactly what you would call, uh, โ€œqualityโ€. i cant even remember what life was like before ichinyatsuโ€ฆ

maybe ill do a giveaway or something later, but for now i just wanna take a moment to thank all the people ive met along the way! INDIVIDUALLY OF COURSE!!! (am i crazy!? probably.. because im crazy for you guys! โ™ฅ)

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