i made this post, and i never expected it to reach past like … 20 notes which wouldve been just all my friends who actually know about charm
im very uncomfortable with the amount of reblogs this post has gotten. i am very uncomfortable with how it has spread to places that i do not, to people who i’ll never know.
do you know how many people have asked me to use charms name for their npc/dnd character? too many
do you know how many people have used charm’s name without telling me they have, resulting in me probably never finding out about it? i dont and that makes me so fucking uncomfortable.
first and foremost, before charm dimeshore is a punny name, he is MY character. i made him lonnggggg before i came up with his name. charm dimeshore is just charm to me, and he is a character who i have poured my heart and soul into. he’s one of my favorite characters and his story means so much to me.
and i dont want anyone taking that away from me
i DO NOT want charm dimeshores name to be stripped away from him by people i dont know, to be used for their own characters by people who know nothing about charm or how he came to decide on his name as a trans man
i have given like…five people permission to use his name for npcs but ive given them very specific guidelines, because otherwise? it just feels fucking disgusting. it just feels like stealing.
charm dimeshore is more than a name to me, and i dont like how likely it is that someone could steal him from me and ruin him without my knowledge
and dont you dare tell me that im overreacting. dont you dare tell me that “its just a name”. because its not. its not.
so unless youre matt fucking mercer or some bullshit, do NOT come to me and ask to use his name for an npc
and if you do it anyway? im disgusted by you. you disgust me, and you honestly dont understand how painful it is to me to have charm become much bigger than myself and risk losing him
please stop reblogging that post. instead, if you want to, reblog this one.
remember that time where the interviewer thought that Ksoo’s ideal type was Amanda Seyfried but when they asked him he straight up said “No, I never said she was my ideal type, I said I like a pretty smile.”
the basic: reblogs all kinds of fandom content, mostly gifs and fanart but produces their own content only rarely. has a reasonable amount of followers and friends but isnt popular. secretly has controversial opinions.
the professional: very organized, uses a complicated tagging system, often specializes in meta, gifsets or edits. they are respected but nobody actually knows anything about them??
the living shitpost: has a squad of similar people and all they do is create memes at 2AM. if you see a new fandom meme it probably came from these people. either has the default theme or changes their theme every other day.
the parent: has been in the fandom for a decade, is tired of the discourse and doesn’t keep up with new fandom jokes but is always friendly to new fans. always thinks the series was better in the Old Days.
the sinner: dont look at their blog when your parents are in the room. nuff said.
the writer: very text-heavy. posts are fics, roleplays, headcanons or asks. their writing is loved by everyone but somehow they still only get 6 notes on their posts.
the artist: produces nice fanart, probably sells it at cons or on their website. is poor and struggling and is actually a nice person. wants to take requests from people but doesnt have the time.
ok i know we have a lot already but not many are ~complete~ enough ot have been updated recently so yeah! here we go………………………
so as we all know, ryan has a questionable livejournal that he used before panic really became famous. there’s not a whole lot of ryden related stuff in that, but there is some cute stuff
“duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude write about how… wait, nvm. i suck at this. i suck at life. psh, YOU suck. I HATE YOU! haha you know i love ya’ baby! wednesday. practice. be there or be…GAY!” honestly early 2000′s brendon is a treasure.
and another cute post from his lj (that I dont have the screencap for)
“I love my 3 friends to death. we are going to move out and see the country together playing music. I know it.” ryan on august 8th. 2004.
well he was right!! because soon after Pete Wentz contacted them to try to sign them. you can read the conversation here but here’s the best part:
Pete Wentz (7:48:06 PM): You guys look good. The chicks gonna be swooning? Ryan Ross (7:48:38 PM): once we get a keyboard player who can do all of the sampling we want to do it will be alot better too. its like we know how we want to sound, but just finding the right way to do it i guess is what we are working on. Ryan Ross (7:48:40 PM): hahaha Ryan Ross (7:48:51 PM): i dont know man, we look alright i guess Ryan Ross (7:48:57 PM): we look young Pete Wentz (7:49:42 PM): Youngs not abd at all Pete Wentz (7:49:47 PM): How does the singiner look Ryan Ross (7:50:05 PM): dead sexy. Ryan Ross (7:50:41 PM): he’s no pete wentz. but still
So now, we move to 2006. this is where ryden becomes real as hell.
Ryan and Brendon both were dating scene queens (you can see my posts of Brendon and Audrey here and Ryan and Jac here)
The relationships didn’t last too long, and after the couples split the girls both claimed the boys to to be gay together.
There is also a supposedly leaked conversation between the girls where they again claim that R&B (lol) are gay together.
slamcrashp33n: Hi. How big/small is brendon uries penis. twiggofviolence: About 4.5 hard twiggofviolence: I feel bad for him slamcrashp33n: Dude me too. twiggofviolence: Lets not start humilating rumors for him? slamcrashp33n: Ahhahaha no way dude. twiggofviolence: I trust u slamcrashp33n: No. I trust youuuuu twiggofviolence: he always wanted to have butt sex I think he might be bisexual twiggofviolence: I wouldn’t let him though twiggofviolence: That’s gnarly slamcrashp33n: dude fuck yeah. Don’t let him do the flipover on you. Right? twiggofviolence: Fuck no slamcrashp33n: Fuck yeah. twiggofviolence: Him and ryan probably do now twiggofviolence: I honestly think there’s something goin on slamcrashp33n: Dude I’ve been calling that shit from the beginniing slamcrashp33n: No one believes me! twiggofviolence: Me too whenever I was on tour I’d wake up and they would be sitting in the lounge together alone at like 7am slamcrashp33n: That’s shady as shit. Did you call him on it back then? twiggofviolence: Yeah he said there just “best friends” but he’d rather sleep with ryan in the lounge then me sometimes in his bed twiggofviolence: Go figure twiggofviolence: I just thought he couldn’t sleep on the bus but now I’m like wow.. slamcrashp33n: dude I always thought he used you as a cover up. twiggofviolence: I wouldn’t be surpised twiggofviolence: Honestly haha slamcrashp33n: Wow that’s some traumatizing shit. slamcrashp33n: Yo do you have a british accent? twiggofviolence: Haha sucks for him more I’d hate to be fmaous and try and hide that I’m gay twiggofviolence: Nah slamcrashp33n: Dude if he’s gay then he should be proud. Wellll all of his 11 yr old followers wouldn’t be fans anymore so I guess I see why he hies it slamcrashp33n: Hidesss twiggofviolence: Haha yeha he’s probaly embaressed since all him fans are so younge they would be confused slamcrashp33n: They probably wouldn’t even know what gay was twiggofviolence: True slamcrashp33n: Dude jac didn’t answer when I asked her about ryan. Do you know? twiggofviolence: Hahaha nope no clue slamcrashp33n: I bet brendon knows hahhaa twiggofviolence: Oh duh slamcrashp33n: Okay I’m off. Thanks for the info. twiggofviolence: Have fun tell everyone u know twiggofviolence: Haha slamcrashp33n: Hhhahah yeah I figured you didn’t really care about humiliating rumors
so that brings us to the most important event in recorded history ever! summer of 2006!
First off, a ridiculously important interview Greta Salpeter from the Hush Sound did after they toured with panic:
Q: Tell us about your craziest touring experience.
On the 2006 Panic Tour, we played the House of Blues in Myrtle Beach [JUNE 24TH]. After the show, most of the bands and crew walked a mile to the beach and, having not brought our swimsuits, decided to swim in underwear or totally nude. Bob and I opted to skinny dip and, at one point, he was trying to get back to the shore but the waves were crashing over him and he was gasping for breath. I yelled to him, ‘Bob, are you going to live? As much as I want to help you, we are both naked so I can’t.’ (Would have been far too awkward). Thankfully, he survived in one glorious piece.
The next night, Ryan made this infamous entry on his livejournal:
6-25-06 01:21:28 PDT - (No Subject)
The moon bred new Atlantic life tonight.the salt burned you right out of my eyes.and secrets we’re not proud of were taken with the tide. We were all newborns with blurred vision and no sense of direction.
Today I saw cancer, cigarettes and shortness of breath. this is why I walk to the ocean.swim with jellyfish.I may never get this chance again. this is why if you want to kiss you should kiss. If you want to cry you should cry, and if you want to live you should live. You don’t have to love me. You already did. At least enough to keep me smiling from South Carolina to Virginia.it’s for lovers (orjustfriends) This is why I do it.
Then Dream, one of the dancers who was on tour with them at the time, also wrote this in her journal:
June 24th, 2006 It’s our last night in Florida and let me tell you… this finally turned into a crazy rock tour… lots of shenanigans happened tonight… but I’ll save this story for the memoirs! Every night I stand on stage and tell the crowd that Brendon is a virgin… let’s just put it this way… it ain’t true!!!!
(Here’s a cute video where Brendon looks good as hell and Ryan says he’s no longer a virgin)
Then, the end of summer. Panic play an iconic show at the MTV VMAs at the end of August (a video for anyone who hasn’t seen.) This is where Ryan meets Keltie who becomes his girlfriend for a while.
2007 comes and passes and not a lot happens, as they were away (fucking) in a cabin and writing Pretty. Odd. However, something important did happen!!
Ryan’s 21st birthday. His party was in New York City
Brendon wasn’t in NYC at the time, he was in rainy Seattle (important!!!). After the party, Ryan flew out to Seattle (apparently not warming Keltie).
*scooby doo villain voice* and he would’ve gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for those darn fan pics!
(I couldn’t find the original picture I’m sorry to whoever this fan, this hero is)
This event is believed to be the inspiration to Northern Downpour (Seattle is rainy and in the north… ryden is real) The song also had the lyrics,
I missed your skin when you were east,
You clicked your heels and wished for me.
Ryan was in the east coast….. anyway………
finally, 2008. Good year for ryden.
First off, here’s something from on Dylan Urie’s (Brendon and Shane’s dog) myspace:
Aug 11, 2008 7:33 PM Subject: awaking from summer dreams is never easy, Body: but being awoken makes it so much worse.
as summer comes to an end we lose and gain so much. summer lovers become part time lovers, then slowly fade to just a simple memory. maybe it’s not so simple to some of us, though. maybe we can’t just forget at the first leaf of autumn. maybe we remember every detail until our last breath of air. maybe we really aren’t okay when asked. maybe we’re holding on, as we watch them let go.
sometimes, it is quite apparent that our “significant other” doesn’t feel the same. we deal, because we know that there has to be something there.
a twinkle in an eye. a shock when we kiss. whatever it is, it’s there. and maybe one day they’ll notice it too.
you know, i’ve never really liked days off. they make me think too much.
it’s time to start loving to live, not living to love. we can only give so much without anything in return.
this was pretty much just something i completely made up because i wanted to say i had a totally awesome summer. then again, maybe it’s not so fictional for most of us after all? summer’s almost over kiddos. time to get back to filling those brains of yours’ with knowledge or maybe just nonsense with a degree.
stay smart, xo
You’ll start to notice that in several of both Ryan and Brendon’s lyrics (even now), they repeatedly refer to “living in a dream” or things along that line. (if you look back to the poem posted on Dylan’s myspace, the subject line reads “awaking from summer dreams are never easy.”)
Finally, in March 2008, Pretty. Odd. is released. the most important album of all time. The album had repeated references to the ocean (where ryden supposedly has sex), the summer, and dreams.
Northern Downpour “we should feed our jewelry to the sea When the Day Met the Night. “in the middle of summer” Behind the Sea (self explanatory) Folkin’ Around “Allow me to exaggerate a memory or two Where summers lasted longer than Longer than we do” She Had the World “Throwing a line out to sea To see if I can catch a dream” From a Mountain in the Middle of the Cabins “Watch love get strangled by a kite’s cold strings Fall comes early and summer leaves As a storm with the car keys” She’s a Handsome Woman “Reverie” is another word for dream. Northern Downpour “If all our life is but a dream” Behind the Sea “A daydream spills from my corked head” She Had the World “Throwing a line out to seato see if I can catch a dream
Also something I noticed as I was looking through these lyrics (I noticed a lot but this is the only one where I’m not reaching too hard) in That Green Gentleman, these are the lyrics:
Little deaths in musical beds. So it seems I’m someone I’ve never met.
You will only hear these elegant crimes, Fall on your ears from criminal dimes. They spill unfound from a pretty mouth.
The word for orgasm is French translates into “little death.” I interperet the second verse to talking about when Jac and Audrey revealed Ryden, but thats just me.
Another thing that becomes important is references to the sun/moon. Most people consider Brendon to be the sun and Ryan to be the moon. Even today they still talk about this.
Also, there is many instances of Pretty. Odd. lyrics referencing a gay poet, Arthur Rimbaud.
Mas as Rabbits: We must reinvent love.
AR: I don’t like women, love must be reinvented, that’s for certain.
She’s a Hansome Woman: I wasn’t born to be a skeleton
AR: I wasn’t born to be a skeleton.
Behins the Sea: Yes, we’re all too smart to talk to God.
AR: Does he talk to God? Perhaps I myself should go talk to God.
Mad as Rabbits:
Preached the devil in the belfry
Also, just for bonus, I added in two of my fave ryden pictures of all time…..
in which ryans shirt button gets fucked up and Brendon’s shirt comes off… anyway….. here’s another picture (I’m trying to keep this as picture-free as possible because I know it makes it super hard on mobile users)
I am loving Ryan’s Brendon bracelet!
Another random thing: Spencer and Jon did an interview with out.com and had this to say:
Walker: And what’s the problem if Ryan and Brendon were actually dating, you know? There’s not really any problem with that. Smith: Because they might be.
So now, 2009. The end of Ryden.
Ryan and Jon left in July and there’s no more ryden. Now, we just have to use songs released by everyone’s side projects to get our Ryden fix (and there is so much……….)
The Young Veins (2010)
CAPE TOWN!: You asked me if I meant everything I said that night, I didn’t./I loved you, I left you, I lost you in Cape Town. (also: the last pre-split panic show was in Cape Town)
Maybe I Will, Maybe I Won’t:
Will you come visit me, finally finding sleep, we’ll swim around in dreams, stay afloat
Everyone But You:
She comes to me when I dream, I’m tired of counting sheep to see her, I sleep because I need her.
All I do is lie by the ocean side/Even the tide gets high at night.
Lie to the Truth: I know I broke your heart, mine is broken too. Now if we’re even, why are we both blue?
Panic! at the Disco
When they decided they would try to make it on their own/When July became December, their affection fought the cold. But they couldn’t quite remember, what inspired them to go.
I may never sleep tonight as long as you’re still burning bright. If I could trade mistakes for sheep, count me away before you sleep. I’ll stay awake till I trade my mistakes or they fade away.
The Calender (confirmed to be about the split):
Put another X on the calendar, summer’s on its deathbed. There is simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends. And I meant everything I said that night. (last lyrics is a response to Cape Town)
Matching set of marching clocks, the slumbering apparitions that they’ve come to wake up. (clearly referencing behind the sea)
Oh, if you only knew what we’ve been up to, I guarantee you’d keep it secret. So give it to me now, we’re lost in a dream now
Hallelujah: The time for being sad is over and you miss him like you miss no other, and being blue is better than being over it. (a response to Ryan’s question in Lie to the Truth)
Ryan Ross (2014)
Where I Belong: I know I should’ve never left, I’d gotten tired of being buried.
Lonely Moonlight: I’m not even going to decipher this the name is enough
So that’s the gist of it! I made this whole thing in five hours and by the time I finished it was 2am so forgive my typos. ryden is real
@jollysunflora : The second half of my complete list of modern AU Animorphs headcanons, approximately one per book.
28. “Ax,” Marco says, “How come you can roll out ‘venti dulce de leche dark-chocolate frappuchino extra whip’ without batting an eye, but you giggle every time you have to say the word ‘soy’?”
“It has so many vowel—owl?—sounds, in so little space,” Ax says. “That long sssssssssss, so pleasant on the tongue, but then that odd oooyyy ooy-yah? All in the back of the mouth. Very strange. Sssoooy. Ssususs-oooyaaa.”
“Also, he’s moved on from the frappuchinos,” Tobias adds. “Now he keeps spending all our hard-stolen bitcoins on espresso mack… mach…”
“Espresso macchiato con panna,” Ax explains. “Doppio.”
29. Cassie feels herself sweating as she props the laptop across the room from her, tools laid out and Ax unconscious on the table. She never expected to find a YouTube video on how to perform brain surgery—and to be honest, it’s actually about “how neurosurgeons perform an orbitozygomatic craniotomy,” not intended to be a how-to manual—but it’s the best she can do under the circumstances, and so she’ll follow along for now.
MM3. “That’s the kind of strong leadership we need.” Jake gestures to the full-color television (this year’s latest model) where a program of their current leader plays on a loop. “Keeping the wrong kind of people out of this country, saving America for the right kind of Americans.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Rachel says. She and Tobias and Jake are the only three Animorphs, except when Melissa joins them sometimes, and listening to their “Supreme Leader” blather on gets old sometimes. “All I want to know is whether it’s true that within a few years people will really have phones that plug into their cars. That’d be cool.”
Tobias rubs his eyes against the silk of his wing feathers. They itch constantly, since he doesn’t have a gas mask to wear every time he goes out into the pollution-opaque air outside the way that his human friends do. Jake and Rachel take bets sometimes, idly, brutally, about whether he’s the last raptor left on the face of the planet.
“Magnificent!” Drode appears in their midst, and both the Berensons immediately point guns at his head.
30. Marco is lying on his bed the day after watching Eva fall, staring at a patch of wall above his dresser, when he registers that his phone has been buzzing for a while now. It goes off so many times he assumes he has to be getting a call, but when he checks his notifications he just discovers he’s gotten seventeen text messages in the last hour.
The first is from “Smurfette,” and says “Did you know that there is a type of food that involves baking a cinnamon bun inside of a donut? We must secure as many of these as it is possible for a human to consume, as soon as possible!”
The next one, from “Hawkgirl,” reads: “found out recently that apparently ax still thinks you invented flea powder. i told him that if youd invented flea powder wed all be a lot richer right now.”
“Team Dad” (not to be confused with “Real Dad,” which is how Marco lists Peter) sent along several invitations to team missions on League of Legends this afternoon, along with a threat to have Cassie play Marco’s avatar if Marco doesn’t join in. “we both know that by the time you get back you’ll have only healing attacks and she’ll have trained it to apologize automatically for stabbing people,” Jake adds.
One of the many texts from “Julia Butterfly Hill” suggests that Jake has underestimated Cassie’s diabolical streak, because it’s a screenshot of a clone of his account which has had its name changed to HarambeWasFramed.
The real surprise, however, is the single text from “Xena: Warrior Princess.” It’s a link to an article about a disaster in the local national park and the efforts to clean up the wreckage of an as-yet-unidentified craft which went down in the canyon. Marco has to read it a few times to understand the point she’s making, because it’s all about what’s not there: the article makes no mention of any human bodies being found among the wreckage.
Marco gets halfway through typing a reply to them all which informs them in no uncertain terms that he sees through their transparent attempts to cheer him up and doesn’t appreciate it, but he deletes without sending. He can practically hear his mom’s voice saying it: he can focus on the fact that he’s still surrounded by people who love him, or he can focus on the negative side of everything. And being constantly negative is no way to live.
31. “Sharing this again, because its been 3 months,” Jake’s cousin Brooke posts on Facebook. “Anyone who has any news at all about Saddler, no matter what it is, PLEASE contact my family. Big brother, I dont know if youre still out there, but I miss you. I miss you like crazy.”
Jake turns up his Spotify’s Offspring channel a little louder to drown out the sounds of Tom and his dad shouting at each other downstairs. His eyes flinch past Brooke’s post, but they can’t move fast enough to prevent the thought that flashes across the surface of his mind: Is this going to be me a year from now?
32. Tobias texts Rachel and Jake an article from Audubon.Org, where several birdwatchers are going into ecstasies of scientific fascination at the bald eagle and peregrine falcon seen flying in close formation in a cell-phone video taken near a highway overpass downtown. His only comment is, “Told you so.”
33. In the aftermath, Rachel does a Google search: “PTSD treatment symptoms outcomes.” She reads through the WebMD site, the NIMH page, the Wikipedia link to a DSM-5 entry. She thinks of Tobias’s withdrawn silences, his antipathy toward so much they used to enjoy, but she thinks of other things as well. How exhausted Jake seems any time they’re not on-mission. How badly Cassie flinches when the school bell rings and doors slam. How Ax seems to be gradually losing interest in the things—cooking shows, new condiments, human history trivia, These Messages—that once drew his fascination. How last week Marco flicked an ant off the back of his hand and then went white like he’d just kicked a puppy. How good it had felt when she’d hurt David, spreading the pain around, giving it back.
She catches an Uber to the clinic downtown, filling out forms in the waiting room based on the checklist written on her phone for “how to get tobias an ssri”: Yes, she often feels tense and worried. Yes, her heart often races for no reason. No, she hasn’t thought of ending her life. No, she doesn’t feel out of control when she eats.
She gets as far as developing a cover story—it’s about how she’s never felt the same since her parents’ divorce—but in the hallway to the office she panics and calls Cassie. “Am I doing the right thing?” she asks, after she’s explained.
Cassie is silent for a long time, never a good sign. “I’m not sure an SSRI would work on a bird,” she says at last, “and that’s even if we could figure out a dose that would work without killing him. I know you want to help, and I think you should, but…”
Rachel hears what she’s not saying: but what if her mom asks too many questions? But is this risk really worth it? But what if the psychiatrist (the receptionist, the pharmacist) is a controller? But isn’t it them, and only them, against the world, and isn’t that just how it has to be?
“The war won’t last forever,” Cassie says weakly, and Rachel hates her a little for it. “When it’s over, when we get to tell everyone what’s happening…”
Rachel hangs up. She goes home, morphs, and flies out to the woods.
«You know I love you, right?» she asks Tobias later that evening.
«Of course I do.» He sounds exhausted. She’s never felt more helpless in her life.
34. The Yeerk Peace Movement, as it comes out, has a Twitter feed. It is rather painfully obvious that it has been set up and run entirely by aliens who are doing their very best to communicate with humans, and not quite succeeding. Most of the posts are couplets, for some reason that none of the Animorphs can fathom.
“Want to be On Fleek? When you see someone’s rights threatened, speak!”
“Don’t be a Belieber anymore - end slavery and even the score.”
“#tbt: Remember when we were symbiotes? Give taxxon freedom your sympathy votes!”
“Nickelback is super lame, and keeping involuntary hosts is just the same.”
“Respect your host’s rights today, and make your human into your bae!”
35. It’s Marco who comes up with the idea for how to take down William Roger Tennant. This is a guy, after all, whose cockatiels have their own Instagram account: he runs his fame on the internet.
“It’s simple,” Marco explains. “We start a hashtag—#notsonicetennant—and we make it go viral. All we have to do is film this guy everywhere he goes, and eventually the yeerk will slip up.”
It proves not to be simple after all. Their gif of Tennant twitching madly mid-EPA speech gets overshadowed by the news story about One Direction nearly getting poisoned with spiders at the same banquet. Ax does not understand the concept of hashtag, and keeps adding #notsonicetennant to his retweets of what Marco calls “food porn.” They train one of Tobias’s repurposed GoPros to follow poodle-Marco, but that becomes a meme mocking the world’s most obnoxious stray dog rather than Tennant himself.
The plan finally, finally comes off when they pull out all the stops and just confront him in morph. The smartphones that Rachel rigged up in the surrounding buildings don’t pick up the thought speak, but the audio of Tennant screaming at the aliens to leave him alone comes through just fine.
When the scandal breaks, the internet (in truly predictable fashion) drops #notsonicetennant and starts using #tennantgate instead.
Ax reposts an old photo of Tennant eating a quinoa salad—zoomed in on the salad—and tags it #tennantgate. All of his teammates assure him they appreciate the attempt.
36. “All right, that’s just weird,” Marco says, looking at the final entry in the underwater creepshow they’ve been walking through for the past hour. “All the other ships have been getting more modern as we’ve gone, but this one? Looks like it was made in the sixties, at the latest.”
«The world’s creepiest museum curators are getting sloppy with the placement of bodies as well,» Tobias points out. «There’s no way that many people could fit on a boat that small. They’re practically falling over the sides.»
Jake and Cassie look at each other, seeing the same realization reflected in each other’s eyes. Neither one of them wants to say it out loud.
Jake becomes the one to bite the bullet. “Don’t you get it?” He points to the ragged clothes, the emaciated bodies, the modern smartphone tucked in among the antiquated radio equipment. “They were refugees.”
37. Rachel shuts the window on the library computer as soon as she hears someone walk into the room, but she can tell she was too late by the look on Jake’s face when she turns around.
“Roy Ludvig, huh?” Jake says. “Heck of a name.”
“He was at the T.V. studio when we attacked.” Rachel looks down, picking at her nail polish. “No civilians were supposed to be in danger.”
Jake’s expression softens, as much as it ever does. “And now you’re scrolling through his Facebook, looking for something that’ll let you sleep at night.”
“He’s got a grandson,” Rachel blurts. “Jordan’s age. He…” She shrugs. He’s dead, and it’s more or less her fault.
“Shouldn’t be looking on Facebook.” Jake sets his phone on the library table next to her, taps the screen to bring up an official-looking report. “You should be, say, borrowing my dad’s computer. Sending an email from his account to ask for the guy’s medical records. If you had, you’d know that Mr. Roy Ludvig had a heart condition. That he had maybe a year to live, at most, and doctors said he might die at any old time.”
Rachel looks down at the report for a long time, and eventually looks up at Jake. “Doesn’t make it okay, what I did,” she says. “He’s still dead.”
Jake shrugs. “You don’t have to forget it ever happened, but you do have to live with it. Live, and fight another day.”
38. In the aftermath of Estrid’s visit, Tobias is flying over the boardwalk when he sees a henna artist who clearly smokes way too much pot to be a Yeerk. He gets Ax, they morph human, and both get henna tattoos of Elfangor’s name. (Ax had previously expressed an admiration for the human tradition of commemorating a lost loved one by making markings on one’s body.) They know the tats will disappear when they demorph, but they’re both glad they did it. The artist asks how long they’ve been together, and Tobias says in a scandalized voice, “he’s my UNCLE!” Thus, Tobias succeeds in both of his goals: making Ax laugh, and reminding him he has family here on Earth. Honestly, the reminder doesn’t hurt Tobias either.
39. “You know, not all squirrels are like that,” Marco is fond of saying after a morph goes wrong. “Not all termites are horrifying worker drones.” Sometimes it’s, “You know, some of my best friends are fleas.”
It’s Cassie, however, who gets the last laugh out of that one. «You know, Marco,» she says as they swim away from the wreckage of the helicopter, «Not all ants are like that, right? I shouldn’t say that all ants are killers, right?»
Marco stares at her in silence while the others snicker, watching him war between the two impulses: to keep the joke going forever, and to express his honest hatred of ants.
«Come on.» And now Rachel has joined in on the teasing. «You’re just going to let that kind of besmirching of the ant community stand?»
«Okay, okay!» Marco gives in. «Ants suck. Yes, all ants!»
40. “Our experts have examined the video extensively, and near as we can conclude, this footage is genuine and unedited,” the newscaster says. “Given how viral this video has proven to be, with over two million views since it was posted to YouTube on Wednesday, everyone wants to know: is this footage proof that aliens exist? Is this a publicity stunt for the upcoming Fantastic Beasts sequel? Or, as one YouTube commenter asks, did a Smurf just have sex with a centaur?”
«Potential new ally?» Tobias suggests. He’s already tapping out a search for the original video in his modified tablet.
Ax laughs. «Of course not. He’s crippled. A vecol. Useless. We must respect the privacy of his isolation.»
“You know what? Fuck that,” Marco snaps. He shoves to his feet, posture tight with anger. “Just… Fuck that,” he tells Ax. “I have ADHD. Attention Deficit whateverthefuck. I take a pill every morning to help me function because my brain isn’t good enough to filter stimuli all by itself. I got a fucking 135 on the world’s most boring IQ test and I’m still failing half my classes. I’m a vecol. You think I’m useless, huh? You gonna start refusing to talk to me because of some bullshit about ‘respecting’ my ‘privacy’? Huh?”
«That’s different,» Ax says. «You’re not…» He doesn’t seem to know how to finish that sentence.
«If he’s an exception, I hope I am too,» Tobias says more gently. «I got screened for anxiety disorders as a kid, and I guess we’ll never know if I qualify or not, ‘cause my aunt decided that doctors cost money and if the test said I needed one then she didn’t want to know about it.»
Ax doesn’t answer for a long time. He doesn’t seem to know where to look.
«Let’s go tell the others what we found.» Tobias taps a button to send the video to himself. «We can talk more about this later.»
MM4. Tobias flinches when his phone makes the small ping sound that means he has an alert. The new kid is the easy target in every school on the planet. He wonders what it’ll be this time: another Facebook post where the semi-anonymous account Toby IsALoser tags him in another meme about how he has to pay people for sex because the sight of his body would make any normal girl run away screaming, another unnamed Instagram ping telling him he should kill himself so that no one has to look at his stupid fat face anymore, another Snapchat image of a puddle of vomit with the caption “me when I think of you,” an email with the most disgusting gif anyone could find after a quick search…
It’s not, though. It’s an invite to join a private Facebook group, called The Sharing, with several hundred local members. Most of the names Tobias recognizes are cool older kids from the high school. Intrigued, willing to trust for the moment that this isn’t some ridiculously elaborate prank, Tobias clicks “join.”
41. Jake looks around at the enormous open field, concrete pitted with openings and low hovels of corrugated steel and rebar. He can see for nearly half a mile in every direction before the smog makes it impossible, and the tallest things around are the hunched hork-bajir. “Where are we?” he asks.
Cassie frowns. “This? Jake, this is downtown Manhattan.”
He gapes at her. “What happened to it?”
“Tall buildings are targets for drone strikes,” she says casually, turning away. “The only way to be safe was to go underground.”
42. Marco doesn’t bother going to the house of the guy who photographed them, nor does he try to catch the kid before he uploads the video anywhere. Instead he waits for the image to appear on YouTube, then becomes the first commenter. “Sweet manip!” he says. “Is that Photoshop, or can you do that in free programs like Gimp?”
43. “EarthIsOurs-dot-tumblr-dot-com?” Marco says incredulously. “What does Taylor do there, post pictures of her pet taxxon? Reblog plans for planetary domination?”
«Judging from her archive history, she’s had this blog for many years,» Ax says. «She recently changed the domain name, but some of the content on here is from as early as 2008.»
Jake and Marco get caught up in debating with Cassie about what exactly to send to her, but Tobias just scrolls quietly through Taylor’s old posts. She didn’t lie about being beautiful, he realizes, or about being popular. There’s a long blank period in her tumblr account in mid-2014. And then she posted one selfie—just one—after the fire.
He can’t bring himself to read the names that the trolls call her, or the discussions about how much money they’d have to be paid to have sex with her. But there’s no overlooking the suggestions that she kill herself. The posts are too numerous, too vitriolic.
“Every chick ever to wander onto the internet has gotten that crap,” Rachel says; clearly she’s been reading over his shoulder. “She should’ve developed thick skin, not joined the Sharing.”
Tobias thinks of the Facebook page made at his old school just to discuss the fact that he’s a chubby zit-face, of the posts which eventually overwhelmed his Instagram with death threats. «Yeah, I guess,» he says.
44. It takes a long time for Cassie to get home from Australia, but at least they’re not too worried for most of that time; she texts them her location and a brief description of the insanity that landed her in the Outback as soon as she gets in contact with Yami’s family.
45. “None of this makes any sense,” Peter says. “I’m hallucinating, or you’re delusional, or else—”
Marco sets his phone in Peter’s lap. “Check the timestamp, Dad. I took that six months ago.”
Peter stares at the phone for a long minute, and then slowly looks up at Marco. At a clear loss for words, he tilts his head back toward the screen.
“I know.” Marco laughs, the sound wet with tears. “That blond wig looks terrible on her. But it’s really her, Dad. I swear.”
46. “So they’re going to get the U.S. embroiled in another war,” Marco says. “And this one with a country that can actually fight back.”
«Seems like,» Tobias says. «Only why bother with all the secrecy and political wrangling? Why not just send a couple mean tweets to Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un? That’d probably do the job just as well.»
“No, it wouldn’t.” Jake runs a hand through his hair, looking around at them all. “The yeerks need a total war. Everything the U.S. and its allies can pull out, against everything China and its allies can muster. Our military has gotten too used to sending drones to fight its wars, to ‘tactical strikes’ against insurgents. If the yeerks want half the species annihilated, they have to do a lot more than poke a couple of egos.”
47. “News flash,” Marco says. “Your average suburbanite ain’t gonna accept a seven-foot-tall alien for a neighbor. You know the number of times my mom’s been asked for proof of citizenship before she was allowed to vote or cash a paycheck or buy a car? How many times she’s been pulled over by cops while driving the speed limit with her seatbelt on? And she’s a regular old human being. Toby’s right—the hork-bajir have a whole other fight coming if we ever win the war.”
48. Rachel feels the blood drain from her face when she opens the Facebook message and sees the name attached. David’s Facebook account has been defunct for almost two years now; there’s no one left who would want or even be able to access it from the outside. Should be no one.
Miss me? the message from David’s account says.
Who are you? she types with shaking fingers. What do you want?
I know what you did. I’m coming for you. I’ve got friends all over the place and they’ll find you. They’ll kill you. Amazing the allies you can get, when you know where the bodies are kept. On the internet, no one knows you’re a—
Rachel hits “block.” She tells herself that the screaming nightmares she has all that night and into the next are the product of having a stressful life, she’s an Animorph for pete’s sake.
She doesn’t stop shuddering every time she gets a message for the next two weeks, but she never hears from whoever (It wasn’t David. It couldn’t have been.) it was ever again.
49. They stagger away from yet another hopeless fight, all of them injured, half of them missing limbs or bleeding to death. Dragging their damaged bodies behind the first dumpster they find, they demorph, remorph, and force their minds to focus long enough for the long flight home. It’s only when Rachel is in owl morph, staring around the dimly lit alleyway, that she sees the security camera pointed directly at their location.
«They must not check it that often,» Marco says without much hope. «Or else they’d be out here already to come looking for us.»
«Doesn’t matter,» Tobias says harshly. «It had a perfectly clear view of all your human faces. And that building is owned by the yeerks.»
They all stare at each other in dull shock as the realization sinks in. They always knew this moment was coming—they could only be so careful for so long—and yet, on some level each of them hoped it never would.
«Take one more night to be with your families,» Jake says at last. «We evacuate everyone in the morning.»
Jake loses his phone, again, somewhere amidst all the chaos. This time around he doesn’t bother to replace it. It’s not like his mom is going to be wondering where he is, not anymore.
50. “So,” Jake says, “this is going to sound crazy, but—”
“Aliens are invading the planet, and you’re the only kid terrorist who can stop them?” James suggests. “We do have wifi up here, you know. You’re Jake Berenson, right? You’re all over the conspiracy theorists’ forums right now.”
“Um.” Jake runs a hand through his hair, starts again. “Yeah, pretty much.”
James nods. “In that case, you’ve got thirty seconds to convince me your story’s not a load of crap before I call security.”
51. Ax secures their wifi in something a billion times better-hidden than Tor. With that reassurance, they all end up starting blogs.
Marco’s is a rambling string of wry comments about everything from the invasion to his parents’ science projects. Sample post: “Insider source (aka my mom): Visser Three has morphed human and eaten AN ENTIRE BAG OF MARSHMALLOWS in one sitting, ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION. Pass it on!”
Jake’s is the place that people go to find out how they can help, and to get his reassurance that the help means something. Sample post: “As Barack Obama says, ‘We the people recognize that we have responsibilities as well as rights; that our destinies are bound together; that a freedom without a commitment to others is unworthy of our founding ideals, and those who died in their defense.’ This fight will never be over just as long as we keep supporting each other. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to you all for the KickStarter donations.”
Rachel’s has beauty tips for the American girl on the run, light and self-deprecating enough that you often don’t notice the undercurrent of desperation. Sample post: “If you want to be able to look at yourself in the mirror, try fixing your hair using reflective surfaces such as pots, ponds, or pieces of Bug fighter wreckage. Alternately, just say ‘fuck it’ and never look at yourself again.”
Cassie’s tells people how to stay safe, and how to keep their environments safe as well. Sample post: “Everyone please remember, it’s important to stock enough food and water for family pets as well as humans when retreating to an apocalypse bunker!”
Tobias’s has a lot of good-natured grumbling about everyday life in the valley. Sample post: “In other news, my girlfriend’s mom is currently arguing with the smartest being on the face of the planet about where to put the new latrine facilities. Sorry Naomi, but my money’s on Toby.”
Ax’s has a lot of food reviews, of course, but again there’s that undercurrent of desperation, almost like he’s trying to convince someone else (or maybe even himself) that humans are worth saving. Sample post: “Marco assures me that there are no less than 23 distinct flavors contained within every sip of Dr. Pepper. Just think of the years of experimentation and innovation it must have required to produce a drink which can inspire 23 different reactions from human taste buds, all at the same time. Truly inspired genius.”
52. They run drills upon drills for what to do in case of a drone strike. Using any morphs they have that can dig or build—mole, taxxon, elephant, beaver—the Animorphs create an extensive network of tunnels and shelters, posting guards at all times to keep their eyes on the sky. The hork-bajir valley doesn’t show up on satellite imagery, which they only know thanks to Peter’s definitely-illegal fact-gathering missions on the darkweb, but they don’t know for sure whether an overhead camera would be subject to the same strange perceptual distortions they all experience when flying there as birds. They nearly lose their precious secrecy when Naomi sends several emails from her work account, claiming she’s being held hostage and asking anyone who will listen to come rescue her. Eva generates a hasty follow-up from the same account asking people to ignore “the prank that I now realize was in poor taste,” but none of them are sure it worked for the next several days.
53. Rachel makes one last post on her nearly-extinct Instagram account. This time the scrap of paper she uses appears to be torn from the back of a food label, but the penciled script is as intricate as ever. It reads “Who wants to live forever? —Freddie Mercury, 1986”
54. After it’s all over, Tobias retreats, he hides, but he keeps a thread of communication open. Cassie shoots him an email with the subject line “Hawk patient with intermittent aggression and lethargy—any idea what could be causing it?” Marco sends him idiotic memes that now feature the Animorphs’ names and faces. Ax asks for constant updates on the new wing of Taco Bell being built downtown, and repays the favor by leaking confidential information about the search for the Blade ship.
And then he gets one of the stranger emails he’s ever received. It’s an offer of a full legacy scholarship to Harvard University (which has just found the means to explain some inconsistencies in the records of one “Alan Fangor,” who graduated in the ‘80s) in exchange for Tobias teaching one class per semester on any subject of his choice. He agrees, with the stipulation that all his classes be online.
The resultant course (Ornithology 442: An Insider’s Perspective) is like nothing the students who participate have ever seen before. Tobias will write out rambling treatises on Why Blue Jays Suck or All the Ways Hawks Are Superior to Eagles with a thought-speak-to-text recorder. He’ll deliver online lectures from a shaky webcam pointed into a nonspecific tree, occasionally wandering off for hours at a time to go hunting. Students who ask him personal questions about Rachel get regurgitated mouse skeletons Fed-Exed to their campus mailboxes. Essays that don’t demonstrate much effort get feedback such as “even I can tell this sucks and I have a seventh-grade education” or “my grandmother could make better sentences than this AND SHE’S AN ANDALITE WHO DOESN’T SPEAK ENGLISH.” Assignments include “find one bird fact in a textbook and explain why it’s a load of crap” or “go film a Boston pigeon until it does something interesting, I dare you.”
Nevertheless, enrollment is so popular that Harvard has a three-year waiting list and charges students an extra $500 just to sign up. When Tobias finds out about the extra fee, he promptly video-calls the Intrepid, gives Ax remote access to his computer, and explains why he needs Ax to convert the course illegally to a MOOC. Harvard University fires him for breach of contract; Yale hires him on that very same afternoon.
Thank you so much for all the support this year!! 2016 has been quite a year…tough in many ways for many people…i hope my art has provided even just an ounce of comfort…and…..I feel so lucky to be able to have my art reach out and positively influence so many….i dont know what i did to deserve such kindness..but im incredibly grateful…..I hope I can continue to improve and create artwork that resonates with you!!
wow ty is so beautiful and i love his voice? i love hearing him talk he has such nice hair and his smile is so bright and dazzling and hes just so great ok if i had to choose a parabatai i guess id choose ty? wow and his eyes they are luminous and he knows so much and i want to hold his hands tight and never ever let him be worried or scared ever again
i dont feel like kissing livvy again lol weird i bet its cause i wanna be a shadowhunter
Recently there has been some leaks regarding guild wars 2. I wont mention what it is about because of obvious reasons. I personally dont mind spoilers to an extent, because I am personally 2000% hyped regardless.
This is a huge leak though, and while I know Anet is usually pretty chill and nice about datamining, but since this is - as I said, a big leak, reposting or posting leaks may or will get you in BIG trouble.