dont feel like naming everyone else

but seriously though, all those posts about how “terfs arent real lesbians because they don’t like dick” and “transwomen are lesbians and terfs are not :)” and “terfs dont get to call themselves lesbians” proves to you that libfems have no idea that lesbianism is an actual sexual orientation. they think lesbian is something you “get to be”. they think it’s a fun label everyone can just slap on themselves and ta-da, you’re a lesbian. it’s nothing but a way for them to feel special and “different” because they have nothing else to offer. like they do know that words have actual meanings right? sexual orientations existed way before we had the language to name them

Shtpost #2

newsflash!!!:


EXO is currently taking over my life. 


(i hear distant groans of agreement don’t lie i know we all are being dominated by a particular south korean family that sing and dance and do crazy stuff)


I wake up and the first thing I instinctively do is literally open my phone (no lie) and go on Instagram and search up chanbaek crap (hands up if you follow chanbaek_sister or chanbaek_idclub ayyyyy) because I am that fking deprived of EXO and also because international fan sTrugGLEs. 


Oh, i also heard rion (the ‘fan’ of suho who is always making him feel uncomfortable and exos disgsuted bc she did unspeakable things while obsessing over junmyeon) attended the manila concert.. yikes (i dont want this post to be negative so let’s just stop here and wish for. suho’s well-being) and then something else like an anti (i’m not going to spread names) bringing plush penguin toys to the concert and stuffing rocks inside them with the intention of throwing them at exo??? like, you’re just become absolutely petty and rude and dumb and i kind of want to laugh at these ‘fans’ bc they’re so… immature and sad (but hey, to everyone reading this, bts and exo and in fact, all kpop groups, are close-knit friends. they know what it’s like to have to practice for crap all day and they respect each other. i just want everyone to be positive and love because that’s how. we can end these disputes. i hate having to see ‘armys are just petty 13 y/o babies hating on exo’ or ‘exols are so loud and annoying don’t they get tired of screaming’ crap all the time on my feed. it wasn’t like this before. and we were a family once, we can be a family again. it’s not that hard. 


OKAY ENOUGH OF THE NEGATIVITY LET’S GET TO THE GOOD STUFF, SHALL WE? ;)))))) 


ok so PHILLIPINE FANS (and fans who afforded the tickets in general lol noT ME THEN!) HOW WAS THE SECOND MANILA CONCERT, GUYS? APPARENTLY LOTS OF PEOPLE DON’T STAN CY AT FIRST BUT WHEN THEY SEE HIM IN PERSON HE LITERALLY BATTLES EVERYONE IN YOUR BIAS LIST AND CONQUERS THE WORLD Like legit, I’m not kidding. This is why I ship ChanBaek ;; (kms).


Who wouldn’t like these two beautiful beans?

Chanyeol loves Baekhyun so much that Baekhyun loves him back I-

And did anyone else notice that for their special stage Baekhyun and Chanyeol had MATCHING BRACELETS????!!!!?!?! I had to rewatch the stage because of a chanbaek fanvid (yes, that’s how I found most of my moments despite being a 2015-current fan) and I literally had to pause,


sit back,


look again,


lean closer,


and just:

me: bish what?

like, hello?

*asian voice* what, the hell?


okay please please please tell me they went on a little secret “boyfriends-that-do-a-lot-of-romantic-stuff-but-it-isn’t-platonic-or-anything” nights’ out and got each other bracelets like the ones in scarlet heart ryeo shkhsdkufhjh i love how they’re so intimate and lovely with each other *insert guttural noises*

another thing i realized is whenever baekhyun smiles or does something, chanyeol always seems to feel it and just copy his (boyfriend’s) best friend bandmate’s actions i stg they’re sOULMATES~~~

also, i’ve noticed that baekhyun’s movements are always so soft and gentle but if you notice, during concerts he’d always go the extra mile and have the perfect facial expression, hand gestures, everything, so that he’d look smooth af (probs why some call him daddy…(please don’t)) so when he’s standing beside this giant of a dork, aka the endorser of masks, baek always seems to small and cy always needs to protect him (although they probably hit each other and play lol all weekend)

i mean, just look:

you have their ridiculously weird side…

you also have their romantic yet fluffy side

squeal!!! 

but then you get this “???” aka “error 404?”

pcy…your hands. hands. hands to yourself, please. ( although i’m lowkey wishing that they had more skinship ;-;)

pcy where are your HANDS!! keep the awards pg-13 please!

(but baekhyun smirked so i actually have no idea what they are anymore hahahaha)

yeah so that was my rant because i just realized how. much i. love . exo . and chanyeol and baekhyun and exo in general like SEHUN, the baby that has a lot of respect, XIUMIN, the kind-hearted hyung who loves everyone and just wants to make everyone get comfortable, SUHO, the leader who never gives up and always laughs because he loves his members so much, KAI, the hardworking second maknae with the most contagious laugh ever (personal opinion), CHEN, the lowkey most observant vocal range god that everyone loves, LAY, the one who is selfless, innocent, and willing to try new things, D.O., our precious squishy bean who has the smoothest voice and the chillest attitude. EXO is such an important part of my life that I almost wish that I had never met them (it’s a good thing to think, almost like when the water is so cold it numbs you and you think it feels hot) 


So, kudos to all the exo fans who supported exo and stayed together no matter what happened because it’s only thanks to. you that i can be so blessed like this. love ya~

anonymous asked:

jvbbihvhicd i was scrolling through the lancezine application confirmation doc to make sure i was registered and i was scrolling to see if i knew anyone and i saw your url and i was like dammit i dont have a chance getting a spot against someone awesome like you and everyone else on there fhbjdiki im sorry i love you

!!!!!!! bUDDY we’re on the same boat, i saw some other names on their too and i felt p bad myself but like…we all got the same chance as them y’kno??  plus getting rejected HAPPENS. I’ve been turned down by other zines before too!

I’m more proud of the fact that I managed to apply at all. It used to be  i didn’t feel too good about applying to anywhere. But now look at us both, putting ourselves out there…we deserve to reward ourselves regardless of the outcome c:<

Typed transcripts of Eric's Entire journal: 4-10-98 to 4-3-99

I hate the fucking world, to many god damn fuckers it in. to many thoughts about societies all wrapped up together in this place called AMERICA. everyone has their own god damn opinions on every damn thing and you may be saying “well what makes you so different?”. because I have something only me and V have, SELF AWARENESS, Call it exortenstiolism or whatever the fuck u want. we know what are to this world and what everyone else is. we learn more than what caused the civil war and how to simplify quadratics in school. we have been watching you people. we know what you think and how you act, all talk and no actions. people who are said to be brave or couragous are usually just STUPID then they say later that they did it on purpose cause they are brave when they did on fucking accident. GOD everything is so corrupt and so filled with opinions little and points of view and peoples’ own little agendas and shedules. this isnt a world anymore, its H.O.E. and [no]one knows it. self awareness is a wonderful thing. I know I will die soon, so will you and everyone else. maybe will we be lucky and a comet will smash us back to day 1. people say it is immoral to follow others, they say be a leader. well here is a fuckin news flash for you stupid shits, everyone is a follower! everyone who says they arent a follower and then dresses diff. or acts diff. … They got that from something they saw on TV or in film or in life. no originality, how many JO MAMMA jokes are there and how many do u think are original and not copied. KEINE. Its a fucking filthy place we live in. all these standards and laws and Great Expectations (webb) are making people into robots even though they might “think” they arent and try to deny it. no matter how hard they try to NOT copy someone I still AM! except for this fucking piece of paper right here, and B.T.W spelling is stupid unless I say. I say spell it how it sounds, it’s the fuckin easiest way. hey try this sometime, when someone tells you something, ask “why?” eventually they will be stumped and cant answer anymore. thats because they only know what they need to know in society and school, not real life science. they will end up saying words to this “because! Just shut up!” people that only know stupid facts that arent important should be shot, what fucking use are they. NATURAL SELECTION. KILL all retards, people w/ brain fuck ups, drug adics, people cant figure out to use a fucking lighter. GEEEAWD! people spend millions of dollars on saving the lives of retards, and why. I don’t buy that shit like “oh hes my son though!” so the fuck what, he aint normal, kill him, put him out his misery. he is only a waste of time and money, then people say “But he is worth the time, he is human too” no he isnt, if he was then he would swalow a bullet cause he would realize what a fucking waste and burden he was. – 4/10/98


as I said before, self awareness is a wonderful thing. I know what all you fuckers are thinking and what to do to piss you off and make you feel bad. I always try to be different, but I always end up copying someone else. I try to be a mixture of different things and styles but when I step out of myself I end up looking like others or others THINK I am copying. One big fucking problem Is people telling me what to fuckin do, think, say, act, and everything else. Ill do what you say IF I feel like it. But people (I.E. parents, cops, God, teachers) telling me what to [arrow points to do, think, say, act, and everything else] just makes me not want to fucking do it! thats why my fucking name is REB!!! no one is worthy of shit unless I say they are, I feel like GOD and I wish I was, having everyone being OFFICIALLY lower than me. I already know that I am higher than almost anymore in the fucking welt in terms of universal Intelligence and where we stand in the universe compared to the rest of the UNIV. and if you think I dont know what Im talking about then you can just “ßUCK DICH” and saugen mein Hund! Isnt america supposed to be the land of the free? how come, If im free, I cant deprive a stupid fucking dumbshit from his possessions If he leaves then sitting in the front seat of his fucking van out in plain sight and in the middle fucking nowhere on a Fri fucking day night. NATURAL SELECTION. fucker should be shot. same thing with all those rich snotty toadies at my school. fuckers think they are higher than me and everyone else with all their $ just because they were born into it? Ich denk NEIN. BTW, “sorry” is just a word. it doesnt mean SHIT to me. everyone should be put to a test. an ULTIMATE DOOM test, see who can survive in an environtment using only smarts and military skills. put them in a doom world. no authority, no refuge, no BS copout excuses. If you cant figure out the area of a triangle or what “cation” means, you die! if you cant take down a demon w/ a chainsaw or kill a hell prince w/ a shotgun, you die! fucking snotty rich fuckheads [Censored by J.C.Sheriff Office] who rely on others or on sympathy or $ to get them through life should be put to this challenge. plus it would get rid of all the fat, retarded, crippled, stupid, dumb, ignorant, worthless people of this world. no one is worthy of this planet only me and who ever I choose. there is just no respect for anything higher than your fucking boss or parent. everyone should be shot out into space and only the people I saw should be left behind. 4/12/98


ever wonder why we go to school? besides getting a so called education. its not to obvious to most of you stupid fucks but for these who think a little more and deeper you should realize it. its societies way of turning all the young people into good little robots and factory workers thats why we sit in desks in rows and go by bell schedules, to get prepared for the real world cause “thats what its like”. well god damit no it isnt! one thing that seperates us from other animals is the fact that we can carry on actual thoughts. so why don’t we? people go on day by day. rutine shit. why cant we learn in school how we want to. why cant we sit on desks and on shelves and put our feet up and relax while we learn? cause thats not what the “real world is like” well hey fuckheads, there is no such thing as an actual “real world”. its just another word like justice, sorry, pity, religion, faith, luck and so on. we are humans. if we dont like something we have the fucking ability to change! but we dont, atleast U dont. I would. U just whine/bitch thoughtout life but never do a goddamn thing to change anything. “man can eat, drink, fuck, and hunt and anything else he does is madness” - Based on Lem’s quote. boy oh fuckin boy is that true. when I go NBK, and people say things like, “oh it was so tragic,” or “oh he is crazy!” or “It was bloody!” I think, so the fuck what, you think thats a bad thing? just because your mommy and daddy told you blood and violence is bad, you think its a fucking law of nature? wrong, only science and math are true, everything, and I mean everyfuckingthing else is man made. my doctor wants to put me on medication to stop thinking about so many things and to stop getting angry. well, I think that anyone doesnt like me is just bullshitting themselves. try it sometime if you think you are worthy, which you probly will you little shits, drop all your beliefs and views and ideas that have been burned into your head and try to think about why your here. but I bet most of you fuckers cant even think that deep, so that is why you must die. how dare you think that I and you are part of the same species when we are sooooooo different. you arent human you are a Robot. you dont take advantage of your capabilites given to you at birth. you just drop them and hop onto the boat and headdown the stream of life with all the other fuckers of your type. well god damit I wont be a part of it! I have thought to much, realized to much, found out to much, and I am to self aware to just stop what I am thinking and go back to society because what I do and think isnt “right” or “morally accepted” NO, NO, NO GOD FUCKING DAMIT NO!I will sooner die than betray my own thoughts. but before I leave this worthless place, I will kill who ever I deam unfit for anything at all. especially life. and i fyou pissed me off in the past, you will die if I see you. because you might be able to piss off others and have it eventually all blow over, but not me. I dont forget people who wronged me. like [Censored by J.C. Sheriff Office] he will never get a chance to read this because he will be dead by me before this is discovered – 4/21/98


The human race sucks. human nature is smuthered out by society, jobs, and work and school. instincts are deleted by laws. I see people say things that contradict themselves, or people that dont take any advantage to the gift of human life. they waste their minds on memorizing the stats of every college basketball player or how many words should be an a report when they should be using their brain on more important things. the human race isnt worth fighting for anymore. WWII was the last war worth fighting and was the last time human life and human brains did any good any made us proud. now, with the government having scandals and conspiracies all over the fucking place and lying to everyone all the time and with worthless pointless mindless discraceful TV shows on (scratched out) and with everyone ub-fucking-sessed with hollywood and beauty and fame and glamour and politics and anything famous, people just arent worth saving. Society may not realize what is happening but I have; you go to school, to get used to studying and learning how youre “supposed to” so that drains or filters out a little bit of human nature. but thats after your parents taught you whats right and wrong even though you may think differently, you still must to have more of your human nature blown out of your ass. society trys to make everyone act the same by burying all human nature and instincts. Thats what school, laws, jobs, and parents do If they realize it or not and them, the few who stick to their natural instincts are casted out as psychos or lunatics or strangers or just plain different. crazy, strange, weird, wild, these words are not bad or degrading.. if humans were let to live how we would naturaly it would be chaos and anarchy and the human race wouldnt probably last that long, but hey guess what, thats how its supposed to be!!!!! society and goverments are only created to have order and calmness, which is exactly the opposite of pure human nature. take away all your laws and morals and just see what you can do. if the goverment was one entity it would be thinking “hey, lets make some order here and calm these crazy fucks down so we can be constructive and fight other goverments in our own little so called self created "civilizied world” and get rid of all those damn insticts everyone has" well shit I’m to tired wright anymor tonight, so until next time, fuck you all – 5/6/98


It has been confirmed, after getting my yearboook and watching people like [censored] and [censored] the human race isn’t worth fighting for, only worth killing. give the Earth back to the animals, they deserve it infinitely more than we do. nothing means anything more, most quotes are worthless, especially the rearranged ones like “dont fight your enemies, make your enemies fight” you know, quotes that use the same phrase just rearranged, Dumbfuck shit [illegible] wear. its funny, people say “you shouldn’t be so different.” to me, and 1st I say fuck you dont tell me what I should and shouldn’t be and 2ND mother fuckers different is good, I dont want to be like you or anyone which is almost impossible this day w/ all the little shits trying to be “original-copycats”, I expect shits like you to criticize anyone who isnt one of your social words; “normal” or “civilized” - see tempest and Caliban. allyou degrading worthless shits. all caught up and brainwashed into the 90’s society. “what? you AREN’T going to college, are you are crazy!” holy SHIT that is one fucking BIG Quote that just proves my point. step back and look at yourself fuckers, I dare you, maybe I’ll get lucky and you’ll step back to far like Nick in Elm3. w/ the same concequence. – 5/9/98


wooh, different pen. HA! alright you pathetic fools listen up; I have figured it out. the human race strives for exellence in life and community always wanting to bring more =good= into the comm. and nulify =bad= things. anyone who thinks differently than the majority or the leaders is deamed “unusual” or weird or crazy. people want to be a part of something; a family, a service, a club, a union, a community, whatever. thats what humans want. who cares waht you as an individual thinks, you must do what you are told, whether it is jump of a bridge or drive on the right side of the road. protesters in the past protested because the human race that was dominant (Ghandi and the Brits or the king and the americans) wasnt working out = they had fault = they failed = their ideas didnt work. humans dont change that much, they only get better technology to do their work quicker/easier. people always say we shouldnt be racist. why not? Blacks ARE different, like it or not they are. they started on the bottom so why not keep em there. it took the centuries to convince us that they are equal but they still use their color as an excuse or they just discriminate us because we are white. Fuck you, we should ship yer black asses back to Afri-fucking-ca were you came from. we brought you here and we will take you back. America=White. Gays….well all gays, ALL gays, should be killed. mit keine fragen. lesbians are fun to watch if they are hot but still, its not human. its a fucking disease. you dont see bulls or roosters trying to fuck do you? no, I didn’t think so. women you will always be under men. its been seen throughout nature, males are almost always doing the dangerous shit while the women stay back. its your animal instincts, deal with it or commit suicide, just do it quick. thats all for now. – 5/20/98


If you recall your history the Nazis came up with a “final solution” to the Jewish problem… kill them all. well incase you havent figured it out yet, I say, “K I L L M A N K I N D” no one should survive. we all live in lies. people are saying they want to live in a perfect society, well utopia doesnt exist. It is human to have flaws. you know what, Fuck it. why should I have to explain myself to you survivors when half of the shit I say you shitheads wont understand and if you can then woopie fucking do. that just means you have something to say as my reason for killing. and the majority of the audience wont even understand my motives either! they’ll say “ah, hes crazy, hes insane, oh well, I wonder if the bulls won.” you see! it’s fucking worthless! all you fuckers should die! DIE! what the fuck is the point if onlu some people see what I am saying, there will always be ones who dont, ones that are to dumb or naive or ignorrant or just plain retarded. If I cant pound it into every single persons head then it is pointless. fuck mercy fuck justic fuck morals fuck civilized fuck rules fuck laws… DIE manmade words…people think they apply to everything when they dont/cant. theres no such thing as True Good or True Evil, its all relative to the observer. its just all nature, chemistry, and math. deal with it. but since dealing with it seems impossible for mankind, since we have to slap warning labels on nature, then… you die. burn, melt, evaporate, decay, just go the fuck away!!!! YAAAAAH!!!! - 6/12/98-

KEIN MITLEID

“when in doubt, confuse the hell out the enemy” - Fly 9/2/98

wait mercy doesnt exist….


heres something to chew on….: today I saw a program on the discovery channel about satelites and radar and aircraft and stuff, and at the end of the show the narrator said some things that made me think “damn, we are so advanced, we kick ass, america is awesome, we have so many things in our military, we would kick anyones ass.” for a minute I actually had some pride in our nation…. then I realized, “hey, this only the Good things that I am seeing here. only the Pros, not the cons. maybe thats what people see, only the Pros, and thats why they are under control. but me, I see all… you can only blind me for so long. but alas, I have realized that Yes, the human race is still indeed doomed. It just needs a few kick starts, like me, and hell, maybe even [censored]. If can whipe a few cities off the map, and even the fuckhead Holding the map, then great. hmm, just thinking if I want ALL humans dead or maybe just the quote-unquote "civilized, developed, and known-of” places on Earth. maybe leave little tribes of natives in the rain forest er something. hmm, I’ll think about that. eh. done for tonight -REB- 6/13/98


As part of the human race, and having the great pleasure of being blessed with a brain, I can think. Humans can do whatever they want. There are no laws of nature that prevent humans from making choices. maybe from actually DOING some of those choices, but not from making the choice. If a man choosses to speed while driving home one day, then it is his fault for whatever happens. If he crashes into a school bus full of kidies and they all burn to death, its his fault. Its only a tragedy if you think it is, and then its only a tragedy in your own mind. so you shouldn’t expect others to think that way also. it could also be a miracle for another person. maybe the bus stopped the car from plowing into a little old lady walking on the sidewalk. one could think it was a “miracle” that she wasnt hit. you see, anything and everything that happens in our world is just that, a HAPPENING. anything else is relative to the observer, but yet we try to have a “universal law” or “code” of what is good and bad and that just isnt fucking correct. we shouldn’t be allowed to do that. we arent GODS. just because we are at the top of the food chain with our technology doesnt mean we can be “judges” of nature. sure we can think what we can think what we want, but you can “think” and “believe” you can judge people and nature all you want, but you are still wrong! why should your morals apply to everyone else. “morale” is just another word. and thats it. I think we are all a waste of natural resources and should be killed off, and since humans have the ability to choose… and I’m human… I think I will choose to kill and damage as much as nature allows me to so take that. fuck you, and eat napalm + lead! HA! only Nature can stop me. I know I could get shot by a cop after only killing a single person, but hey guess the fuck WHAT! I chose to kill that one person so get over it! Its MY fault! not my parents, not my brothers, not my friends, not my favorite bands, not computer games, not the media. IT is MINE! go shut the fuck up!
-REB- 7/29/98


someones bound to say “what were they thinking?” when we go NBK or when we were planning it, so this what I am thinking. “I have a goal to destroy as much as possible so I must not be sidetracked by my feelings of sympathy, mercy, or any of that, so I will force myself to believe that everyone is just another monster from Doom like FH or FS or demons, so It’s either me or them. I have to turn off my feelings.” keep this is mind, I want to burn the world, I want to kill everyone except about 5 people, who I will name later, so If you are reading this you are lucky you escaped my rampage because I wanted to kill you. It will be very tricky getting all of our supplies, explosives, weaponry, ammo, and then hiding it all and then actually planting it all so we can achieve our goal. but if we get busted any time, we start killing then and there, just like Wilks from the AlIENS books, I aint going out without a fight.
Once I finally start my killing, keep this in mind, there are probably about 100 people max in the school alone who I dont want to die, the rest, MUST FUCKING DIE! If I didnt like you or if you pissed me off and lived through my attacks, consider yourself one lucky god damn NIGGER. Pity that a lot of the dead will be a waste in someways, like dead hot chicks who were still bitches, they could have been good fucks. oh well, too fucking bad. life isnt fair… not by a long fuckin shot when Im at the wheel, too. God I want to torch and level everything in this whole fucking area but Bombs of that size are hard to make, and plus I would need a fuckin fully loaded A-10 to get every store on wadsworth and all the buildings downtown. heh, Imagine THAT ya fuckers, picture half of denver on fire just from me and Vodka. napalm on sides of skyscrapers and car garages blowing up from exploded gas tanks…. oh man that would be beautiful. – 10/23/98


you know what, I feel like telling about lies. I lie a lot. almost constant. and to everybody, just to keep my own ass out of the water. and by the way (side note) I dont think I am doing this for attention, as some people may think. lets see, what are some big lies I have told; “yeah I stopped smoking,” “for doing it not for getting caught,” “no I’m havent been making more bombs,” “no I wouldn’t do that,” and of course, countless of other ones, and yeah I know that I hate liers and I am one myself, oh fucking well. Its ok If I am a hypocrite, but no one else. because I am higher then you people, no matter what you say if you disagree I would shoot you And I am one racist mother fucker too, fuck the niggers and spics and chinks, unless they are cool, but sometimes they are so fucking retarded they deserve to be ripped on. some people go through life begging to be shot. and white fucks are just the same. if I could nuke the world I would, because so far I hate you all. there are probly around 10 people I wouldnt want to die, but hey, who ever said life is fair should be shot like the others too. - 11/1/98


heh heh heh. I sure had fun this weekend. lets see, what really happened. before going to the Rock n Bowl we stopped by King Soopers and one and [censored] picked up some big ass stoges. we then went to the Rock n Bowl and I had a few cigarettes and one of brand new cigars. we then went back to [censored] house where her mom had previousely bought us all a fuck load of liquor. personally I had asked for Tequilla and Irish cream, Vodka got his vodka, and there was beer, whiskey, schnopps, puckers, scotch and of course, orange juice! so we had some fun there playing cards and making drinks. we eventually made it to bed at about 5AM. got up at 10, went to safeway got some donouts and then I took Vodka home. the bottle of Tequilla is almost full and is in car, right by my spare tire and right by the bottle of irish cream. heh heh. I’ll have to find a spot for those. and by the way, this nazi report is boosting my love of killing even more. like the early Nazi government, my brain is like a sponge, sucking up everything that sounds cool and leaving out all that is worthless, thats how Nazism was formed and thats how I will be too!
11/8/98


Fuck you Brady! all I want is a couple of guns, and thanks to your fucking bill I will probably not get any! come on, I’ll have a clean record and I only want for personal protection. Its not like I’m some person who would go on a shooting spree…. fuckers. Ill probably end up nuking everything and fucking robbing some gun collectors house. Fuck, thatll be be hard. oh well, just as long as I kill a lot of fucking people. Everyone is always making fun of me because of how I look, how fucking weak I am and shit, well I will get you all back: ultimate fucking revenge here. you people could have shown more respect, treated me better, asked for my knowledge or guidence more, treated me more like senior, and maybe I wouldn’t have been as ready to tear your fucking heads off. then again, I have always hated how I looked, I make fun of people who look like me, sometimes without even thinking sometimes just because I want to rip on myself. Thats where a lot of my hate grows from, the fact that I have practically no selfesteem, especially concerning girls and looks and such. therefore people make fun of me… constantly… therefore I get no respect and therefore I get fucking PISSED. as of this date I have enough explosives to kill about 100 people, and then if I get a couple bayonetts, swords, axes, whatever I’ll be able to kill at least 10 more. and that just isnt enough! GUNS! I need guns! Give me some fucking firearms!
11/12/98


HATE! I’m full of hate and I Love it. I HATE PEOPLE and they better fucking fear me if they know whats good for em. yes I hate and I guess I want others to know it, yes I’m racist and I don’t mind. Niggs and spics bring it on themselves, and another thing, I am very racist towards white trash p.o.s.s like [censored] and [censored] they deserve the hatred, otherwise I probly wouldnt hate them. Its a tragedy, the human nature of people will lead to their downfall. Peoples human nature will get them killed. whether by me or Vodka, Its happened before, and not just in school shootings like those pussy dumbasses over in Minnesota who squeeled. throughtout history, Its our fucking nature! I know how people are and why and I cant stand it! I love the nazis too… by the way, I fucking cant get enough of the swastika, the SS, and the iron cross. Hitler and his head boys fucked up a few times and it cost them the war, but I love their beliefs and who they were, what they did, and what they wanted. I know that form of gov couldn’t have lasted long once the human equation was brought in, but damnit it sure looked good. every form of gov leads to downfalls, everything will always fuck up or yeah something. its all DOOMed god damnit. this is beginning to make me get in a corner. I’m showing too much of myself, my views and thoughts, people might start to wonder, smart ones will get nosey and something might happen to fuck me over, I might need to put on one helluva mask here to fool you all some more. fuck fuck fuck it’ll be very fucking hard to hold out until April. If people would give me more compliments all of this might still be avoidable… but probably not. Whatever I do people make fun of me, and sometimes directly to my face. I’ll get revenge soon enough. fuckers shouldn’t have ripped on me so much huh! HA! then again its human nature to do what you did… so I guess I am also attacking the human race. I cant take it, Its not right… true… correct… perfect. I fucking hate the human equation. Nazism would be fucking great if it werent for individualism and our natural instinct to ask questions. you know what maybe I just need to get laid. maybe that’ll just change some shit around. thats another thing, I am a fucking dog. I have fantasies of just taking someone and fucking them hard and strong. someone like [censored] were I just pick her up, take her to my room, tear off her shirt and pants and just eat her out and fuck her hard. I love flesh… weisses fleisch! dein weisses fleisch emegt mich soo… Ich bin dech nur ein gigilo! I want to grab a few different girls in my gym class, take them into a room, pull their pants off and fuck them hard. I love flesh… the smooth legs, the large breasts, the innocent flawless body, the eyes, the hair; jet black, blond, white, brown. ahhh I just want to fuck! call it teenage hormones or call it a crazy fuckin racist rapist… BJ ist mir egal. I just want to be surrounded by the flesh of a woman, someone like [censored] who I wanted to just fuck like hell, she made me practically drool, when she wore those shorts to work.. instant hard on. I couldnt stop staring. and others like [censored] in my gym class, [censored] or whatever in my gym class, and others who I just want to overpower and engulf myself in them. mmmm I can taste the sweet flesh now… the salty sweat, the animalistic movement… Iccchhh… lieeebe…… fleisccchhhh. who can I trick into my room first? I can sweep someone off their feet, tell them what they want to hear, be all nice and sweet, and then “fuck em like an animal, feel them from the inside” as Reznor said. oh… thats something else… that one NIN video I saw, broken or closer or something, the where the guy is kidnapped and tortured like hell… actual hell. I want to do that too. I want to tear a throat out with my own teeth like a pop can. I want to gut someone with my hand, to tear a head off and rip out the heart and lungs from the neck, to stab someone in the gut, shove it up to the heart, and yank the fucking blade out of their rib cage! I want to grab some weak little freshman and just tear them apart like a fucking wolf. show them who is god. strangle them, squish their head, bite their temples into the skull, rip off their jaw. rip off their colar bones, break their arms in half and twist them around, the lovely sounds of bones cracking and flesh ripping, ahh… so much to do and so little chances. – 11/17/98

“weisses
fleisch”
- perfect
- song
- for
- me


Well folks, today was a very important day in the history of R. Today along with Vodka and someone else who I wont name, we went downtown and purchased the following; a double barrel 12ga. shotgun, a pump action 12ga. shotgun, a 9mm carbine, 250 9mm rounds, 15 12ga slugs, 40 shotgun shells, 2 switch blade knives, and total of 4 - 10 round clips for the carbine. we……. have…. GUNS! we fucking got em you sons of bitches! HA! HAHAHA! neener! Booga Booga. heh. its all over now. this capped it off, the point of no return. I have my carbine, shotgun, ammo and knife all in my trunk tonight and theyll there till tomorrow… after school you know its really a shame. I had a lot of fun at that gun show, I would have loved it if you were there dad. we would done some major bonding. would have been great. oh well. but, alas, I fucked up and told [censored] about my “flask”. that really disappoints me. [censored] I know you thought it was good for me… in the long run and all that shit, smart of you to give me a such big raise and then rat me out, you figure it was supposed to cancel each other? god damn flask, that just fucked me over big time. now you all will be on my ass even more than before about being on track. I’ll get around it though, If have to cheat and lie to everyone then thats fine. THIS is what I am motivated for, THIS is my goal. THIS is what I want to do with my life! you know whats weird, I dont feel like a punching through a door because of the flask deal, probly cause I am fucking armed now. I feel more confident, stronger, and more Godlike. I have confidence in my ability to dese(cei)ve people. hopefully Ill make it to April, but that might not happen. Ug, Its been a busy weekend, I need to sleep, I’ll continue tomorrow.
11/22/98


yesterday we fired our first actual firearms ever. 3 rounds from the carbine. taught that ground a thing or 2. I even had the 2 clips in my pocket while talking to vodkas dad about senior ditch day. God it felt great firing off that bad boy, and hopefully I’ll be able to get more than just 4 clips for it. I dubbed my shotgun “Arlene” after Arlene Sanders from the DOOM books. She always did love the shotgun. Vodka’s DB is looking very fucking awesome, all cut down to the proper lengths. this is a bitch trying to keep up on homework while working on my guns, bombs, and lying. by the way, I bought that flask in the mall and I had a friend fill it up w/ scotch whiskey, only had about 3 swigs in the 3 weeks I had it. plus monday I gave my T and IC to Vodka, just in case. I never really did like alcohol, just wasn’t my thing, but It felt good to just have around. that argument on the 22nd was a real bitch, but I think I should have won a fucking oscar. I even quoted a few movies, remember “what the hell am I gonna do now man?! what am I gonna do!?” thats good ole Hudson from aliens. Sounded good too. and hey goddamnit I would have been a fucking great marine, It would have given me a reason to do good. and I would never drink and drive, either. It will be weird when we actually go on the rampage. hopefully we will have plenty of clips and bombs. Im gonna still try and get my calico 9mm. just think, 100 rounds without reloading…. hell yeah!

We actually may have a chance to get some machine pistols thanks to the Brady bill. If we can save up about 200$ real quick and find someone who is 21+ we can go to the next gun show and find a private dealer and buy ourselves some bad-ass AB-10 machine pistols. Clips for those things can get really fucking big too.
12/3/98


Woohoo, I’ll never have to take a final again! feels good to be free. I just love Hobbes and Nietzche. Well tomorrow I’ll be ordering 9 more 10 round clips for my carbine. I’m gonna be so fucking loaded in about a month. the big things we need to figure now is the time bombs for the commons and how we will get them in and leave then there to go off, without any fucking Jews finding them. I wonder if anyone will write a book on me. sure is a ton of symbolism, double meanings, themes, appearance vs reality shit going on here. oh well, it better be fuckin good if it is writtin.
12/17/98


heh, get this. KMFDM’s new album is entitled “Adios” and it’s release date is in April. how fuckin appropriate, a subliminal final “Adios” tribute to Reb and Vodka. thanks KMFDM… I ripped the hell outa the system
12/20/98


jesus christ that was fucking close. fucking shitheads at the gun shop almost dropped the whole project. oh well, thank god I can BS so fucking well. I went and picked up those babies today, so now I got 13 of those niggers. WOOHAH. the stereo is very nice, but having no insurance payments to worry about so I could concentrate of BOMBS would have been better. oh well, I think I’ll have enough. now I just need to get Vodka another gun.
12/29/98


Months have passed. Its the first Friday night in the final month. much shit has happened. Vodka has a Tec 9, we test fired all of our babies, we have 6 time clocks ready, 39 crickets, 24 pipe bombs, and the napalm is under construction. Right now I’m trying to get fucked and trying to finish off these time bombs. NBK came quick. why the fuck cant I get any? I mean, I’m nice and considerate and all that shit, but nooooo. I think I try to hard. but I kinda need to considering NBK is closing in. The amount of dramatic irony and foreshadowing is fucking amazing. Everything I see and I hear I incorporate into NBK somehow. Either bombs, clocks, guns, napalm, killing people, any and everything finds some tie to it. feels like a Goddamn movie sometimes. I wanna try to put some mines and trip bombs around this town too maybe. Get a few extra flags on the scoreboard. I hate you people for leaving me out of so many fun things. And no don’t fucking say, “well thats your fault” because it isnt, you people had my phone #, and I asked and all, but no. no no no dont let the weird looking Eric KID come along, ohh fucking nooo.
4/3/99

anonymous asked:

hi hi hi!! everyone else is doin' introductions, so i guess i will too~!! (("if everyone else jumped off a bridge, young lady, would you??" "probably,,,")) hah my name is Mars, & i feel like i talked to you before?? abt stars and cats and like, some computer game you were playing prolly lol. i hope youre having a swell day or smth, man!! ~Mars II ((theres another Mars who follows you guys and i'm convinced we're twins shhh dont tell them))

ya i think i remember that - lololol man my adhd must rlly be getting bad if so many ppl have to reintroduce themselves ;;;
anyway, good to meet u again! hope ur day is going well!

people who need to Stop

ppl who go on runs and run in place while they’re waiting to cross the street. i dont care about “keeping ur body moving” or how “the grind never stops”. just dont do it u look like a douche.

administrators/customer service reps/other assorted professionals who just answer the phone and say “hello” or give a first name or mumble something unintelligible. “hi this is bob.” hi bob. are u the right bob? how do i know? pls tell me.

that lady who made the cashier everyone else in line just stand their awkwardly while she went back into the grocery store for one (1) bushel of bananas. you know who you are.

people who feel the need to tell you why that movie you liked and were so excited for wasn’t really that good. no, george, i don’t care about the number of tight shots in the les mis movie just let me enjoy “master of the house” in peace

ppl who just dive into their Political Opinions when everyone else just wants to have a nice lunch

emeowji  asked:

tell me more abt ur human nep hcs, i love her..

i dont have many yet tbh i dont have an a+ grasp on her and i dont feel like going to reread logs pbbttbt but ye

  • the shed is full of cats shes found and thinks nobody else knows about but everyone does, the signless has names for some of them
  • she wants to be one of those people who end up like besties with lions and tigers and shit idk what the actual job is
  • she doesnt do gr8 in school purely because she just doesnt care, none of it grabs her and the only lesson she does sort of good in is art. she doesnt do any of the written work but her art is the top of the class
  • she tried to get kk to larp with her and he would Literally Rather Die than admit he liked it
  • she gets kanaya to highlight her lip scar because she thinks it makes her look Rugged and Badass >:33
  • muddy ragged worn out combat boots and pretty dresses because is comfy, kanaya makes it look like an Aesthetic for her
  • she stays up until three in the morning watching shitty anime with meulin, she has notepads full of shipping walls and notes on their dynamics and canon evidence and different interpretations and aus in a big box organised by fandom
  • she and kk have both gotten in trouble for bullying before because schools are shit and always punish the victims for retaliating, she beats people up for kk and kk rants at them until they cry for her

In lights of recent events occuring in our fandom, I would kindly like to remind everyone that behind an url, there is a person. A real actual human being with feelings. Neither, You nor I nor anyone else knows what someone behind an url is going through, the lives they lead, their ordeals, their struggles. 
When someone in this fandom makes a mistake, please try to understand it is not a robot making a mistakes but a person. And people can learn from their mistakes if they are educated. People dont learn from ban lists, or hate messages, being called names or labelled as problematic. Education and Communication are the tools you need if you want to get through to anyone. 
If you find someone’s behaviour problematic in this fandom, tell him kindly with words and if they cannot be reasoned with abandon the discussion. Be the better person. Cause, the moment, the very moment, you forget that you are dealing with a person, is when you start saying or doing the things that makes you the bully in this fandom. Even if you mean well. 
Coming from someone who was once told to kill myself by an anon that didn’t even know me or my struggles with depression at the time. I can tell you, that it wasn’t my finest hour on this platform. That person didn’t care about me, they just cared about their crusade against whatever they considered wrong. 
Don’t be that person. Just let people enjoy this fandom however they want. It is not your place to tell people what they can and cannot post, make, reblog or ship. Drop the crusade, start educating and communicating. Be open-minded and polite and never ever lose sight of the fact that you are talking to a human being. 

anonymous asked:

Hey, im doing a paper on homelessness for a class and im supposed to persuade the class to donate to a shelter.. but ive found all these negative things about shelters, its sad. Do you have any ideas on what should be done to improve things?

shelters and kitchen feeds might be full of a lot of bullshit but they still help people. if you want to really help, heres what you can do

-understand capitalism and why its a system that CREATES homelessness and keeps the homeless there, this plays into how we socially accept people for jobs or housing. there’s more empty houses and apartments than homeless people in this country. think about that. think about how capitalism controls the social worth of human beings, through status and power.

-donate actual stuff to a shelter or a feed. i dont know what they do with the money, im sure money donations would help, but either donating items or finding homeless people to pass things out to is really a huge help. especially if you pass things out personally. please dont be sugary-sweet “helping the People” nice, just treat homeless people like someone at the grocery store. be polite but be real, theyre just people. (socks are high demand when you cant wash your clothes often and youre walking miles and miles every day.)

-talk about us. if you arent making privileged people a little uncomfortable with how real you’re getting, talking about homelessness and bringing homeless people from the back of people’s minds where they were comfortable putting them, you probably aren’t getting real enough. 

-since this is a huge scary monster with some deep systematic roots, please help alleviate it with your activism and voice. things like the refurnished buses in SF that contain showers for homeless people, or local projects to distribute food or clothes. talk to camping supply stores and either buy up tents/sleeping bags cheap or ask for donations of used items. talk talk talk and see what you can do to help out locally. 

-if you have the guts and a good reason (like passing out stuff) walk around and find where your local homeless go. take a friend that’s on the same page if you feel unsafe. talk to them, get to know them. sometimes the most normal part of your day is when a stranger knows youre homeless but shoots the shit with you or just treats you like a regular person. dont ask personal questions or use homeless people as some personal “im a good person!!” validation project- just be a friend. sometimes forming bonds with locals is a really important thing for the homeless community… it can be a really big thing and honestly homeless are constantly assaulted and harassed by locals so having people “on your side” and not looking away when they walk by you is shocking and a relief. sometimes a local friend who stopped to talk to you is the person who talks the cops out of arresting you for no reason, or is the “valued citizen” that gets your needs heard. you dont have to cough up money every time someone spanges you, but being compassionate and showing them respect like you would any other person goes a long way, especially emotionally. learn their names. being uncomfortable is expected but if you can do this and reach out and personally connect with the homeless, that’s like. thats what the homeless REALLY need, people individually and personally understanding their experiences and reaching out to them in pure compassion, feeling that love for the humanity in you that everyone else doesnt believe is there.

homelessness experiences differ and location is a big factor, so if you want to be a REAL literal help to the homeless, understanding your local homeless community is a pretty big part of that. 

-honestly if nothing else talk about it, bring it up unprompted, remind people homeless people exist and no one deserves this kind of social cruelty. think about this beyond topic articles, school papers and “im a good person!!” personal validation stuff using the homeless as a vehicle to sleep better at night. the more you know about homelessness, the less soundly you should be sleeping in your nice warm bed. the most help you can be is to be brutally honest with yourself about how little you’ve let yourself care. dont get caught up feeling guilty, this is a systematic thing and youve been programmed to not give a shit and to be uncomfortable and conflicted when its brought up. this is the power of capitalism and why we all need to wrap our brains around these things and take that monster down.