dont even look at me i tried to do the thing

  • what she says: I'm okay
  • what she means: Can I say my shit? Can I say my shit? I've got lots of shit to say. I've got lots of shit to say. I can't fit my hand inside a Pringle can, I have a huge amount of trouble fitting my hand inside of a Pringle can. I can get my hand like four inches into the can but then I have to tilt the can into my mouth but then a bunch of crumbs have accumulated at the bottom of the can so they all go spilling onto my face. What I'm trying to say is the diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. I'll say it again. The diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. Two radiuses of a Pringle can is way too small. If you feel me, put your hands up, Come on! If you feel me, put your hands up! Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside of a Pringle can! Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can, your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can. You think you can, I know you can't, you think you can. Pringles! Listen to the people, I am sure ninety percent of the complaint letters you get are about the width of your cans?! Just... make them wider?! I've overdone the Pringles thing, sorry. I want to have a daughter. I want to have a daughter so I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands in the Pringle can. Yes, I'm still on the Pringle cans thing! Yeah! I'll move on, alright? But that is priority número uno. I don't go to the gym because I'm self-conscious about my body but I'm self-conscious about my body cause I don't go to the gym. Irony can be so painful. That's a Catch-22. Let's do this! I went to Chipotle, I went to Chipotle, got myself a chicken burrito. I went down the line and I got all these ingredients and at the end of the line the guy tried to wrap the burrito but half of the shit inside the burrito spilled out. He still wrapped it. I was like, dude you should have warned me! You're a burrito expert, you should have told me halfway through: "Hey, man. You might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here" Do you fucking think I want a messy burrito? No one wants a messy burrito! The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained within the confines of the tortilla. I wouldn't have gotten half of the shit if I knew it wasn't gonna fit in the burrito! Alright? Look I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got half of it! Like, I'm okay with small mistakes, if you've got no more chicken I'll take pork. But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit. Man, I wouldn't have got half of it, like half of it, like, half of it, like, half of it, like half of it right now,I think it's time I think it's time, I think that we break this down. I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are pringle cans, and burritos. The truth is, my biggest problem's you. I want to please you but I want to stay true to myself. I want to give you the night out that you deserve but I want to say what I think and not care what you think about it. Part of me loves you, part of me hates you, part of me needs you, part of me fears you. And I don't think that I can handle this right now, handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. Look at them, they're just staring at me like, "come and watch the skinny kid with a steadily declining mental health and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself." I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. They don't even know the half of this right now, they don't even know the half of it. But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show so I should probably just shut up and do my job so here I go. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got half. You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme and if they still don't understand you then you run it one more time. I don't think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) I don't think that I can handle this right now (Hoo!) If you think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) Right now (Haa!) Now, handle this right, handle this right, handle this right now.Thank you, good night! I hope you're happy.
Sugar bowl facts

After couple of years sugaring this is what I’ve observed regarding SD/SB sites

-what I’ve recently read and which is 100% accurate, anyone worth of knowing won’t be in such sites. Full. Stop.

-most of men that have profiles are in best case upper middle class guys. You won’t find a multimillionaire sitting behind his computer chasing girls online. Would you? I wouldn’t. Reality is all of true rich men have access to upscale bars, clubs, restaurants, country clubs, lounges where they can meet dozens of beautiful women, DAILY. In worst case he will book a girl trough established agency (his assistant will) if he is more of an introvert or has no time for socializing.

-top income on these site is NOT above 200k after taxes. And majority of those men are MARRIED, which means his wife has access to his cards/accounts and has knowledge of his financial behavior, do you think she won’t be suspicious if all of a sudden large amounts start missing from his account? Of course she will. Other are divorced with couple of kids, which means ALIMONY. So don’t expect mind blowing amounts spent on you.

-if he offers out of the blue 10k + apartment + car, most likely it is a SCAM. In order a man to be eligible for such spending on someone else his income should be at least 700-800k after taxes. In average, a man won’t spend more than 20% of his income on you. How do y'all think a man who earns 200k-300k will just drop half of his money on you? He also has daily/monthly/yearly expenses of his own. He’ll just go broke because of you? NO. Be realistic.

-there probably is one who is able to spend such amounts on you as mentioned above but finding him on these sites would be a pure luck. Like jackpot once in a blue moon.

-if he doesn’t discuss your allowance and what exactly he can offer in first few messages, he is probably not a legitimate SD, or just a Splenda most likely salt. A real SD knows the game. Don’t fall for that “make me a proposal/offer”. That’s BS.

-if he only offers to communicate via Skype he is almost sure a SCAM. Never settle for this type of communication, either he can video call via Viber or FaceTime. Say you don’t use Skype. Not negotiable.

-if he isn’t ready to provide his photos in first few exchanged texts, DROP him. There is no valid excuse for this. Unless he is on Forbes 100. Or running a Fortune 500 company. Which isn’t close to impossible. Always choose video call over exchanging photos. (What i recently witnessed was a man who sent me photos of a dead US businessman, he probably thought if we are from Europe I won’t know this) -luckily there is google image search

-ALWAYS and I repeat always try with google reverse image search. Also look up his number.

-if he refuses to tell you his full name there is a good reason behind it, a BAD one. Leave him.

-Under NO circumstances negotiate the sexual part of an arrangement, he exactly knows what he will be getting. You get the “dos and donts ” question, block him, real SD never asks such questions over the phone.

-make sure you discuss about his stated budget. Ask if those are his spending habits or he would be actually willing to spend that on you. Does that include only your allowance or it includes all of the monthly expenses he would have regarding you (e.g. Trips, dinners, gifts, shopping sprees etc)

-don’t be shy to ask anything you want to know prior to your meet, if you have any doubts or unclear stuff, ASK.

-if you are traveling/flying out to meet him make sure all of your transportation/flight tickets/hotel room is paid in full, IN ADVANCE, with email confirmation of the receipts which are NON REFUNDABLE. He can always cancel your hotel booking for example.

-if he asks you to fly out but to buy your own tickets and he’ll reimburse you when you meet, NEVER do this!!! Real SD would never ever propose such situation, or he will send you money prior to your meet so you can purchase it, if he doesn’t want it to be shown on his credit card.

-always bring your own money to a pot date, no matter if it’s just a coffee date or dinner or flying over to other city/country. Remember, he can walk out on you any time and leave you out to dry. Imagine if you don’t like him really and need to for example take another room, take your ticket earlier, take a taxi home etc, possibilities are endless. Make sure you are SAFE regarding funds.

-NEVER send more than 4 photos (2 showing your face and upper body and two showing your body from different angles/poses) any of these men asking for more are pic collectors. Whenever you can choose a video call over exchanging photos.

-if you meet him and he looks different than his photos LEAVE immediately. EVACUATE. Code RED. You think he is providing something substantial if he can’t even provide a proper photo of himself? NO.

-Never ever agree to unprotected sex. No excuses are valid enough. Even though you are in a long term arrangement he probably is seeing other women too. Unless he’ll provide you a STD check (HIV, HPV, HEP a, b, c too) not older than 48h prior to your rendezvous, from a clinic you personally chose. Medical checks, reports can be forged.

-make sure that you first get your end before giving him his part of the bargain. FIRST THE MONEY THEN THE HONEY. No peep shows, no trial periods, no compatibility checks. You see a meal you never tried in a restaurant, decided to order from the menu, you didn’t really like it, yet you still have to pay for it? YES.

-Do not fall for the first man that texts you, sugaring REQUIRES patience and practice.

-Do not settle for exclusivity unless all of your monthly expenses are fully covered plus there is spending money left, and enough for at least a month if he drops you out of the blue. Don’t think you will ever be his one and only.

-When he says NO DRAMA in his profile text that means no drama from you, not from him. No PROs or ESCORTs means he can’t afford one or he can’t afford to be screened, because he has something to hide - something BAD.

-if he is not able to meet in few days after your initial conversation he is most likely a TIME WASTER, or if he books you a ticket and not confirm two three days before the actual meet do not go, unless you want a free trip and have an interest of your own visiting that place.

-if he offers less than a 5* hotel accommodation, drop that cheap ass, he probably is just a SALT.

-when he states most important things for him are connection and affection he has no intention of compensating for your time.

-there is no UPPER age limits for being a sugar baby, you think he wouldn’t date J-Lo ? Yes he would but he can’t afford it! When guy says he prefers very young girls it’s because he knows they are easier to trick and have lack of experience.

-REMEMBER: if something is too good to be true it’s because it usually is. Don’t fall for words, SEEING is BELIEVING.

-if he somehow gets uncomfortable when getting a bill in the restaurant or makes comments on prices or starts making a face, never see him again, no real SD will make a comment over couple of bucks. If possible, check how much he tipped the waiter.

-if he says along the way he isn’t into luxury and prefers something more humble/down to earth, leave that mofo, YOU ARE a LUXURY.

-if he is too demanding compared to what he is providing, he is actually using you, do not fall for that (ask for way to many photos/text exchange etc)

Always keep this small reminder in your head.

Happy sugaring!!!

kicking you out

for the anon who asked for a groupchat celebrity au with twitter. ik this isn’t exactly what you asked for, but i will do a proper celebrity au one day. probably. dedicated to my wife @jiilys bc she deserves all this and more


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: thanks for tuning in last night! check us out next week when we’ll be discussing whether sand dollars should be a viable form of currency

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: james no one cares about ur stupid fuckign radio show

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: ur the co-host

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: i dont see how thats a relevant piece of information


Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) tweeted: @jimsradio why do you have pine trees listed as your topic for next week

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: why not

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: theyr an important part of our capitalist, consumer-driven society

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: is this just because you couldn’t come up with a better topic

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: r u insinuating that i had no ideas and decided on pine trees bc there happens to be one outside peters bedroom window

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: yes

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: fair


James Potter to radioheads: how about we have remus as our special guest next week

Sirius Black: i have legitimately never heard of a worse idea

Remus Lupin: good luck driving yourself to the lido next week then dickhead

Sirius Black: i already lost that job

Remus Lupin: why am i not surprised

Sirius Black: jokes on u lupin, ur the one who’s been driving me 40 minutes out of your way every morning for nothing

Remus Lupin: fucker


Remus Lupin to James Potter: we need more advertising

James Potter: ?? we have plenty of advertising

Remus Lupin: we have the same ad for your dad’s hair gel playing every break on a ten minute loop

James Potter: ?? what’s ur point


Peter Pettigrew to james you know i love monty but we need more advertising: guys 2, 141 people listened in last week

Remus Lupin: are you kidding

James Potter: result!!!!

Sirius Black: was that the one where we talked about freaks & geeks conspiracy theories

Remus Lupin: no that was the one where you talked about crunchy chips vs squishies

Remus Lupin: do you even listen to the show

Sirius Black: im the co-host thank you very much

Remus Lupin: could’ve fooled me

Sirius Black has removed Remus Lupin from the chat.


Sirius Black (@blacksheep) tweeted: @petepettigrew i still cant believe u prefer squishies to crunchies

Peter Pettigrew (@petepettigrew) retweeted: what?? theyr more flavoursome


James Potter to Sirius Black: remus has been our special guest for the past five episodes i think we need someone new

Sirius Black: what about pete

James Potter: pete does sound

Sirius Black: then get someone else to do sound

James Potter: u, my friend, are a genius


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: we need someone with tech experience to do our sound booth pls and thank


Peter Pettigrew to fifa plays would make a shitty topic: I thought I was sound technician??

James Potter: u can still be sound technician we’re just having u as our special guest

Sirius Black: im not sure i can handle having a special guest who thinks squishies r better than crunchies

James Potter: ??? u were the one who suggested pete in the first place

Sirius Black: i was?? funny that

Peter Pettigrew: i hate u all


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @jimsradio i have two years worth of tech experience and can do friday evenings if ur still looking for a sound technician


James Potter to shitdick central™: holy shit check out the chick who just applied for techie

Peter Pettigrew: who is she

Remus Lupin: lily evans

Remus Lupin: she had her own radio show a couple of years back with this really awful guy

Remus Lupin: it was really popular

Peter Pettigrew: the radio show or the guy

Remus Lupin: ?? the radio show

Remus Lupin: the guy turned out to be a massive racist

Remus Lupin: in her last interview she called him ‘an abusive fuckface’

Sirius Black: i say we hire her

James Potter: seconded


Remus Lupin to James Potter: is the only reason you want to hire her is because you think she’s hot

James Potter: do you really think i’m that shallow

Remus Lupin: yes


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: @liljane you’re hired. i’ll dm you the details


Sirius Black to i’m not shallow remus i just have an appreciation for the finer things in life: i cant believe that you both literally and figuratively slid into her dm’s

James Potter: im blocking u


James Potter to what the fuck is an aardvark anyway: that went rather well if you ask me

Sirius Black: ?? it was a fucking atrocity

Sirius Black: you were staring at her the whole time

James Potter: no i wasn’t

Remus Lupin: you missed five of your queues

James Potter: ok, so maybe i was a little off

Sirius Black: there were more awkward silences than that one time peter tried to pick up rosmerta at the three broomsticks

Peter Pettigrew: you promised you wouldn’t bring that up again!!

Sirius Black: sry pete, desperate times call for desperate measures


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: make sure to check us out at our new time of 7:00pm fridays!!

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: you do realise no-one actually watches this show

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: he’s right you know

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: i hate both of u


Lily Evans to James Potter: can u stop making jokes about lamps

James Potter: i don’t know what u filamean


Peter Pettigrew to wes anderson is better than quentin taratino and you know it james: ALMOST 10K PEOPLE LISTENED IN LAST NIGHT

James Potter: HOLY SHIT

Lily Evans: james u owe me $50 and your 1st edition copy of the great gatsby

James Potter: i’d rather die

Lily Evans: then die, jim

Remus Lupin: christ

Sirius Black: u called??

Peter Pettigrew: what even is this group chat


James Potter to Lily Evans: was that u tearing up i saw in the sound booth when i was reading out my piece about foreshadowing in the simpsons

Lily Evans: i was tearing up over how bad it was

Lily Evans: there was something in my eye

Lily Evans: i think it was your complete lack of a writing style

James Potter: stop it


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: petition to kick sirius out of the group chat bc he won’t stop talking about scooby doo conspiracy theories at 3am

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: i can scooby do what i want

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: blocked


James Potter to Sirius Black: WHERE ARE YOU WE’RE ON IN 5

James Potter: sirs

James Potter: where r you

Sirius Black: ran in tp regulus at the cineplex

James Potter: where are you now

Sirius Black: field next to cneplex

James Potter: don’t move


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: sorry that there was no show this week folks!! sirius got mauled by a bear and i had to drive up to toronto to help amputate his right arm

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: @jimsradio who’s going to wank you off now

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: @remuslupout bitch im left-handed


Sirius Black to velma, daphne and fred: i’m sure evans would do it for you james

Lily Evans: you want to lose the other arm black


Peter Pettigrew to cry me a river lupin: maybe we should make our group chats accessible to the public to get more hits

James Potter: i would but no one wants to see screenshots of sirius in a bra

Sirius Black: by no-one do you mean everyone


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: thank you guys so much for 20k hits the other night!! more content coming


Sirius Black to bitches bitchin: GRAHAM NORTON TONIGHT BITCHES

Lily Evans: are you sober

Sirius Black: am i ever sober

Lily Evans: good point


James Potter to sirius stop changing the group chat name while graham is in the middle of asking you questions: i think that went well

Lily Evans: james im leaving you for graham norton

Sirius Black: not if i leave him first


Severus Snape (@halfbloodprince) tweeted: @jimsradio feel like keeping your hands off my co-host you wanker??


James Potter to i haven’t been able to listen to eyes on fire by blue foundation since they played it over bella and ryan’s scene in eyewitness: how are we gonna handle this

James Potter: my vote is firmly rooted in manslaughter

Lily Evans: leave it to me

Lily Evans: but keep manslaughter as a backup


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @halfbloodprince i wonder what it’d be like to not be so ridiculously self-involved as to impose yourself where you’re strictly not wanted?

Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @halfbloodprince stay out of my life or you’ll be receiving numerous calls from my lawyer


Lily Evans to manslaughter: yes or no: its sorted

Sirius Black: you don’t even have a lawyer

Lily Evans: he doesn’t know that


James Potter to Lily Evans: whats a rlly interesting and extensive subject we could cover this week

Lily Evans: milk

James Potter: excellent


Lily Evans to tangled is so much better than frozen: im at the studio and i have liquor

Sirius Black: be there in 5

Peter Pettigrew: can u pick me up

Sirius Black: McNo™

Remus Lupin: i regret the day i gave u that keyboard shortcut

Sirius Black: i dont


James Potter to Lily Evans: r u ok

Lily Evans: fine just sistet stuff

James Potter: u sound trashed

Lily Evans: thsts bc i Am

James Potter: where r u

Lily Evans: blcony

Lily Evans: jim

Lily Evans: can u tak e me hpme

Lily Evans: jaems

Lily Evans: i love you


Lily Evans to James Potter: what did i say last night

James Potter: nothing its fine

James Potter: don’t worry about it

Lily Evans: i am worried about it

James Potter: don’t be

James Potter: see you at work


Remus Lupin to James Potter: whats goin on between u two

James Potter: ???

Remus Lupin: you know what i mean

Remus Lupin: you keep looking at her and looking away

Remus Lupin: she keeps forgetting to give you your queues

James Potter: probably distracted by that hickey on your neck

Remus Lupin: i TOLD you i FELL OVER


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: thank you guys so much for 100k! i’ve made @jimsradio promise to change his username if we make it to 1mil in the next two months

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: he should change it to @wanker

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: i checked its already taken by @halfbloodprince


Sirius Black to james potter and co: can you and evans stop eye-fucking during the sets

James Potter changed the chat name to i dont know what you’re talking about.

Sirius Black changed the chat name to yes u do.

James Potter changed the chat name to do not.

Sirius Black changed the chat name to do too.

James Potter changed the chat name to do not.

Remus Lupin: you guys know she’s getting all of these right

James Potter: shit


Lily Evans to James Potter: u have something u want to tell me

James Potter: i’d rather do it in person,,,,,if thats ok

Lily Evans: only if we announce our engagement during a set

James Potter: deal


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: we hit 1mil! also @liljane and i are fucking

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: about time

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: you don’t say

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: i do say

Peter Pettigrew (@petepettigrew) retweeted: im blocking both of u

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: r u gonna hold up your end of the bargain @jimsradio

James Potter changed his username to @lilandjimsradio.

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: nice

Peanut Butter Cookies

*throws allergic!Lance at you and runs away*

Summary: When Pidge’s birthday rolls around, Allura remembers her offhand comment about liking peanut butter. Little did she know that Lance is actually very, very allergic. (angst and fluff, and a bit of established klance because I have no self control and I ship it leave me alone)

I hardly ever post anything because I have no confidence ha so if you like it, let me know! This is very short compared to lots of other stuff I’ve written.

@taylor-tut I don’t think this is that good or even if it counts as langst/whump but I’ll tag you anyway and @voltronpaella thanks for actually getting me to post this my dude


When Allura called the Paladins into the kitchen, Lance expected some sort of emergency.

Why they’d be meeting in the kitchen, he had no idea, but he slid out of bed regardless. After removing his face mask he padded out into the hall, slightly resentful that he didn’t have time to straighten his hair.

Lance nearly bumped into Hunk in the hallway, who was also still in pajamas. The two were the last to arrive in the kitchen. He surveyed the others and found Shiro in full armor, Keith with an activated bayard, and Pidge rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with a laptop tucked under her arm.

“Princess, we’ve talked about this,” Lance grumbled. “You have got to stop interrupting my beauty sleep.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Yo could you share some of your headcanons for the deh kiddos :O ?! I'm really curious!!

*cracks knuckles* HEADCANONS UNDER THE CUT (these are generally feel-good and going off of a Connor Lived And Everything Gets Better AU set of ten [+ one extra] headcanons for the kids where they’re all friends)

Keep reading

kiyumiarashi  asked:

Tell us about the parrots and the zipline? That sounds like the worst thing to happen ever.

Oh boy ok brace yourself cause this entire debacle was just a mess. Imma tell the story of this entire day cause it was just absolute bs 

So I’m in Mexico with my family, yknow, having a nice vacation. My dad doesn’t do heat, so it was just my grandparents, my mom, and me. Keep in mind, I was like, 16 at the time, so this was a few years ago now. 

So, i fully admit, I’m a bit of an adrenaline junkie. Always have been, always will be. So when they said we could go to a massive park that was 90% underground, and the rest was like 300ft in the air, i jumped at the opprotunity.

so we get there and I immediatly beeline for the ziplines. Now, you can’t just do one of these suckers. Once you do one, there’s no going back until you’ve conquered all 12 (or something like that, there was a lot.) It took the better part of two exhausting hours to get through them all. 

So before the parrot issue there was some other bs first. We brought my best friend with me that year, but because we were both too light, we had to go tandum for a lot of the lines, or else we wouldn’t make it across. We’d just get stuck in the middle of the line dangling like a pinata, and no body wants that.

so the first bs comes along. I’m singing the batman theme song to keep my friend calm, because she is not a fan of heights. Like, we are screaming NANANANANANANA BATMAAAAAN at the top of our lungs. And we look ahead and see this massive gap in the trees. Now, we’d gone over a couple cinotes already where we could see the people doing the under ground activities. We figued, hey, let’s laugh at the people doing the river swim that’ll make us feel better. SO we get up on it and my friend starts freak tf out. It wasn’t a cinote.

it was a snake pit.

A massive round, man made snake pit will with hundreds of writhing snakes. They were climbing the walls, even the trees that were like 3ft from our toes. So we’re freaking out like “I don’t wanna be indiana jones i’m too young!!” But we pass it with no problem. We keep going another few second or so, and we see another break in the trees. We’re bracing like cause we assume it was another snake pit. It wasn’t.

It was a crocodile pit.

cue freak out number two.

but we pass it and all is well. Then we come onto the landing strip. We were just starting out so this one was pretty low to the ground. And then i see a weird shape on the grass landing pad.

There was a crocodile on the lawn

we freaked OUT like you wouldn’t believe.

so we’re soaring at this thing and there’s no stopping. We’re waving at the guys who are supposed to catch us with a net like “yo guys u got a coc problem.” and they don’t seem bothered in the slightest. We pass over this thing and it doesn’t move, but i’m 99% sure i tried to kick it. Now we’re free we’re safe and we should be slowing down…why aren’t we slowing down.

we slam into the safety net full force and bounce back a couple feet. When we manage to unhook ourselves we find the two duded pissing themselves laughing.

it was a fake crocodile. i tried to kick a concrete lawn ornament.


onto the parrots.


for this next one my friend was freaking out, as we were over 300ft up. I wanted to go asap so i went attached to my mom instead. At this point, i am alrady 5′8″, and my mom is like 5′5″. so you have this massive beanpole of a child strapped to her tiny mother. So we take off and our combined weight has us absolutely flying down the line. It’s all idealyic and serene, and i’m enjoying my crocodile free cruise. I look down and through a break in the trees i spot the amphibian vehicles going in and out of the cave systems. All good. Right beside them is a pack of leopards sunning themselves on a rock, which is also directly below us. and im thinking “wow, this would a crappy time to fall” immediatly i hear

thunkthunkthunkthunkthunk

my legs hurt all of a sudden. I glance down and see blood dripping down my leg. Mom is screaming/laughing.

we hit a flock of parents mid flight

and they were pissed.

So im screaming and swatting at them, they’re screeching like little feathered demons and pecking t us, some were dangling off my shoe laces, shriekingly like hellions. I still have scars from those suckers. They eventually fly off starnig us down like “dont ever come to our terf again” 

we finished the ziplines without incident after that.

but my day isnt over yet.

we have a wonderful lunch, i get my legs cleaned up, and we make the trek to the amphibian vehicles i saw earlier. We hop in and we’re going through the motions. Up and down, into caves and out. Super cool. Loved it.Then we come to where i saw the leopards.

all the cars in front of us pass without incident.

the second we roll up the leopards perk up and start running after us

cue freakout number 4654783

now, my grandpa is driving and i’m sitting there, with nothing but a mesh door between me and a pack of leopards

“grandpa go faster, we gotta goooo” and he just looks at me all calm like

“i know why they’re here.”

“THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW WHY THEY’RE HERE GO FASTER”

He just calmly, oh so casually, pulls out a hot dog from lunch.I just kinda stare at him like GRANDPA

Obviously i do the smart thing

i grab that stupid hot dog at chuck at the nearest leopard

i hit it in the face

they all fall on each other trying to get a taste of that mustardy goodness and we take that moment to make our escape


and that was my” wth is going on in mexico extravaganza”

and that day didn’t even include the sting ray incident

important facts & quotes from hidden oracle reread #4 part one

i cited everything from the hardback edition bc im a nerd 

- page one apollo is already making pop culture references (1)

- meg is such a badass oh my g od (14)

- riodan does such a beautiful way of explaining things in this novels. awe-inspiring. mind blowing. example: “Her eyes glinted darkly like a crow’s. (I can make that comparison because I invented crows.)” (14-15) wow. beautiful. 

- so i understand this series is going to be about Apollo’s redemption and ~~~~finding himself~~~~ or w\e but JESUS PLEASE RICK you can’t just say “She [Meg] reminded me of the strays my sister was always adopting: dogs, panthers, homeless maidens, small dragons.” (15) WITHOUT PROVIDING SEVERAL BOOKS AS EXAMPLE FOR SAID SENTENCE all i want is a book focused on artemis and her army of small dragons and lesbians dear gods please 

- omfg can you just imagine sally having to go over to Percy’s room and having to tell him that the greek god of the sun apollo was there to see him omfg. imagine the salt. imagine both of them just groaning. imagine.

-”If I had still been an immortal, I might have flirted with her [Sally Jackson] myself.” (30-31) l o l Sally is a middle aged married woman seven months pregnant and still bringing in the gods you go girl im proud of you

- Sally Jackson is one of the best characters in the entire series. citation: every riodan book ever even the non-pjo it’s a fact 

- i 10000% support the idea that percy gave apollo the led zeppelin shirt as a sneaky joke he’s so smart i love him so much

- “Percy laced his fingers. They were long and nimble.”(35) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- He [Percy] would have made an excellent musician.” (35) f u ck 

- literally all percy wants is to “stay alive” long enough to go to college, meet his baby sister, and see his mom get her book published my heart is broken for this boy (35-36)

- the return of the seven layer dip fuck me up (40)

- jfc that poor Prius it’s been through so much (52-54)

- page 67 and Percy’s already made two comic book references he’s such a canon nerd 

- “Cops love me almost as much as teachers do.” god Percy Jackson what are you doing to me

- apollo tried to order a pizza to CHB and honestly same (73)

- g o d will solace jfc wow

- we’re to assume Will’s a skier (his Okemo Mountain jacket & skiers tan) (82) and now i have to write the inevitable fic that comes out of this fact

- Will’s mom was a alt.-country singer from Austin, Texas (83) which wow and honestly makes the fact will is a horrible singer 1000% better

- yellow daises grow year-round in the Apollo cabin, and it smells like fresh linens and dried sage. (83)

- kayla is aiming for the olympics and honestly im so proud already 

- fact: any and all solangelo interaction have me crying into my book 

- “Will put his hand on Nico’s shoulder, ‘Nico, we need to have another talk about your people skills.’” lol this implies that they’ve had this talk before and im dying to hear it

- the Hermes kids are big fans of Rocky Horror Picture Show (95) and now i have to write a seperate list of headcanons for this fact

- speaking of, Apollo used to cosplay as Rocky bc why not. (95-96)

- listen i know im solangelo trash BUT - “Will and Nico sat shoulder to shoulder, bantering good-naturedly. They were so cute together it made me feel desolate.” im destroyed (110)

- “but if I sit alone at my table, strange things happen.” “it’s a mood disorder” “i cant control it” stfu nico u nerd u just want to sit with your boyfriend im dead (110)

- Will nodded serenely. “It’s the strangest thing. Not that Nico would ever misuse his powers to get what he wants.” death to goody-two-shoes will solace 2k17

- off topic but CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE CHIRON THO. like. this happens and will and nico are just standing there. in front of him. telling him they have to sit together OR NICO WILL JUST HAPPEN TO PUT CRACKS INTO HIS CAMP. just imagine. him staring at them. sighing. deciding not to fight this one. agreeing & watching them giggle away bc they’re so SNEAKY & now they can EAT TOGETHER WOW 

-   lol when Meg was going to town on the hot dogs and “Julia and Alice watched her with a mixture of fascination and horror.” (111)

- “Will and Nico exchanged a look that might have meant, here we go.” (112) okay im sorry im just sO GONE FOR LITTLE MOMENTS LIKE THIS I JUST WANT NICO TO BE HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE IN HIS RELATIONSHIPS OKAY

- apollo refers to the seven as “the A-list” (112) same tho

- Jason, Piper, Coach Hedge, Mellie and baby Chuck are all in LA with Piper’s father like???? (113) THIS IS SOMETHING I NEED TO SEE? What’s the living arrangement? Is Jason living with Piper? OH GOD IS JASON LIVING WITH HEDGE AND MELLIE? DO THEY ALL LIVE IN SOME BIG PLACE PIPER’S DAD RENTED OUT???? do Piper and Jason babysit? do they have family dinners? how’s baby chuck doing??? how are they all adjusting to domestic life?? I NEED TO KNOW THIS IS ALL VERY IMPORTANT TO ME 

- lol nico’s just as pissed as eveRYONE IN THE FANDOM about Leo’s not-death and im living for it (113)

- also nico carries around Leo’s lil ‘IM ALIVE LOL’ letter\hologram\thing? like i get it was completely for the plot but?????? “i look at it whenever i want to get angry” (114) like ok nico u lil bean whatever u say u little emo shit

- apollo’s little ‘lol when u have a headache in olympus hephaestus just cracks open your skull and removes whatever brain god\dess u just birthed up lol it’s so much easier ugh’ (116) w h a t t h e f u c k 

- fact: harley is adorable no citation needed

- also you’re telling me chiron, basically as old as time itself tbh, doesn’t speak portuguese? k (120)

- “i am merely assessing how well paolo’s arms are functioning after surgery” (120) those are some big words william u nervous or something??

- “hmph” - nico di angelo, 2016 (120) 

- this isn’t really important but there’s a satyr named herbert and he’s my new favorite character sorry i dont make the rules (124)

- ok so there’s an unnamed random camper who mutters in Italian (127) and now i’ve got the BIGGEST headcanon that this random girl and Nico (omg maybe a few others????) meet a few times a month just to rant to each other in Italian so none of them get sloppy with the language and u g h im such a bitch for nico di angelo frienships

- “A boy in the crowd gasped, ‘she’s a communist!’” (127) i fucking hate this book omfg

i’ll do more later in order to mentally prepare myself for the dark prophecy but it’s 3 am and im tired  

Give Me Polyamorous Power Couple Hamliza Or Give Me Death

~Eliza growing up having constant crushes on both men and women and trying to articulate what she wanted to Angelica but never being able to explain it the way she wanted

~When she’s in a relationship: “I want her” “But you’re dating Peter” “I want him too” “But you have to choose” “Why do I have to choose?” When she’s not in a relationship: “Ooh, Liza’s got a crush! Spill it!” “Well, there’s Arthur and his girlfriend, and Sally and her girlfriend, and Jason, and Mary…” “Whoa whoa whoa, slow down, how many crushes can you have?” “Shush, I’m not done”

~When she meets Alexander and quickly falls into her most serious relationship ever she expects the multiple crush thing to stop (Spoiler alert: it doesn’t)

~Eliza feels like a horrible girlfriend because she’s so happy with Alex but then Susan from work will start up a conversation with her in the break room and she’s instantly all heart eyes

~Tearfully she admits it to Alex one night and he’s thrilled because “no there’s nothing wrong with you I promise!!!! You’re just polyamorous!!!!”

~They spend the rest of the night talking about it

~Eliza needs some time to adjust since she’s spent so much time trying to push it aside that she doesn’t really know what else to do but Alex is very helpful

~The first time she tells him about Susan he’s instantly chanting ask her out over and over until she’s laughing and blushing at his antics

~Half a year later and Eliza is subtly sending Alex updates from her dates while he sends her multiple thumbs up emojis and does the same with his own

~She also sets up him and Angelica and when Angelica gets confused about it she’s like you need to stop sacrificing yourself, let yourself be happy

~They share embarrassing stories about him with each other

~He meets John and them after Eliza in this one and it’s all separately

~Hercules comes first because Eliza’s father invited them to a fancy dinner party and Alex needs a suit and since he’s not well educated on these things yet she comes along to help

~Hercules is instantly smitten with Alex and Alex is instantly 😍 because “Eliza look at him!!! He looks like a damn quarterback but he’s so sweet and gentle!!!!” “Either you ask him out or I will”

~Hercules not-so-subtly likes guiding Alex around even though he thinks he’s being smooth

~“Alex there was really no point for him to put his hands on your waist like that, he could’ve told you to just move to the side one step” “… Yeah but did you see how well they fit there he could probably lift me up so easily” “Wow you’re so easy” “Do I need to bring up that cute barista the other day” “pLEASE DO WE HAVE A DATE THIS WEEKEND”

~By the end of the time there Alex is going out to lunch with a pleased but confused Hercules and Eliza is eagerly awaiting every cute picture and text

~From then on he has to deal with both Eliza and Alex stealing his clothes but he can’t really fight since they both look so cute in his sweaters

~The rest come really quickly after that

~Lafayette meets Hercules before the others because they come in requesting a special dress to be made and Hercules is Gone

~“You… You want a dress with a full skirt… But when you pick at a stitch on it the dress falls down into a ball gown?” “Yes, exactly!” “Can I ask why?” “Why? Well, chéri, it’s because I must ensure that I always am prepared for any eventuality and at the top of that list is a need to always look beautiful but entirely unattainable. Oh, that reminds me! It needs to be floor length with my being in eight-inch heels, I have a pair with me so you can measure accurately” “Oh holy shit”

~It takes them exactly one weekend to be brought into the relationship (Alex sees them and instantly is stunned into silence, Eliza flirts and within two minutes they’re already co-conspirators)

~John is next and he struggles with his sexuality and anything that comes from it so he’s very much in the closet when they meet

~John and Alex immediately are best friends and Alex tries asking him out but John very quickly refuses him and Alex takes a step back

~The combined power of the four of them helps to bring John out of his shell even though he’s very shy about it all so they’re respectful and let him suggest everything and move their relationship forward in his own time

~The first time he asks to spend the night with all of them there’s a little fight over who gets to sleep next to him

~Eliza and Hercules win, Lafayette and Alex pout

~Aaron and Theodosia Burr AKA Theo, Eliza, and Lafayette kill and the rest of them are literally powerless against them

~Dates are really fun with them because now there’s enough people to go on group dates and everyone can have a supposed other instead of it being just the mess of them (They still do it as the whole of them, its just more fun to have the people think they’re all separate couples then watch as they get more affectionate as the night goes on)

~Don’t think I’ve forgotten about the Washingtons

~George favors Alex and Laf, Martha favors Eliza, Angelica, and Theo, George is platonic with John, Hercules, Aaron, and the girls, Martha is platonic with everyone but her girls and sometimes Alex and Lafayette (She likes showing off that she’s perfectly capable of stealing them away from him but is graciously letting them stay with him. George jokes back and tries to rally Laf and Alex to joke too but they need time to come back to that plane of existence)

~WEEKEND TRIPS AT MOUNT VERNON WITH EVERYONE

~Eliza and Alex get so many kisses and cuddles since they’re the heart of it all

~Alex dragging everyone outside to look at the stars

~Lots of hot chocolate when Alex drags them outside

~Lots of spiked hot chocolate when they think Martha isn’t looking

~She totally knows since John keeps giggling but she let’s them have fun

~THOMAS JEFFERSON

~Eliza starts flirting with him to bug Alex

~Eventually she starts flirting with him for Alex no matter what he says

~“Look at the tension good god” “Betsey I swear…”

~Eliza has a near constant stream of frustrated texts from George

~“Eliza I’m suffering” “What is it this time, dear?” “They’re arguing again and they look two seconds away from making out” “I’m working on it. Have patience” “I can’t have patience anymore I can’t have meetings because this happens in every one”

~All the hate sex

~All the Jeffmads+Alex hate sex (I would include Aaron but the frustrations are over Washington but Aaron knows why Alex is favored by him and has worked out his own balance with George so he’s not jealous)

~Alex pulls them into the dynamic and they finally understand

~George doesn’t mind them finding out, he’s just glad the tension is gone (Though he has cut more than a few work days short because he walked in on them fucking on his desk because Alex wanted to tease him and he can’t handle that so he just walks out)

~There’s multiple incidents where they try to tease Angelica but she is Not Having It and takes great joy in showing them why

~Angelica Schuyler is my queen she wouldn’t handle any bullshit from them

~MARIA REYNOLDS PROTECTION SQUAD

~Elizabeth “If you touch one hair on my girl’s head I will personally kick your ass from here to California don’t test me” Schuyler

~Obviously she moves in with them immediately and spends every night sleeping between Alex and Eliza

~When things become too much in the city Eliza and her take a trip down to Mount Vernon for a girls-only retreat

~Maria and John never start a romantic relationship but they hit it off very quickly since they’re both abuse survivors (Her with James, him with his father) and John is more healed than she is but there’s wounds he’s still licking and sometimes its nice to just spend the day in silence with someone who understands that company is more important than conversation

~Eliza and Alex creating a crazy huge family for themselves which has confusing interconnecting romantic and platonic relationships but they love it so much they can’t describe it

~Whenever anyone asks about it Alex shows them the graph he’s made for them all

~Everyone has a specific color and one poor soul asks why he chose those colors and spends the next 45 minutes listening to him talking about why each of his signifs was given that very color choice

Guys help I’m emotional

So I wrote a thing- Its a Langst thing.

It isnt finished and its just in the ‘summarize’ stage but… I dont know if I should expand on it?

Read it under the cut if you wantttt

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

BODY 👏 SWAP 👏 TROPE 👏 Hcs for members switching bodies with another member for a day what would they do 👻 You can pick who switches with who ~ love you 💕

i am loving this freaky friday shit

Yoosung in Jumin’s body

  • suddenly sleep deprived gamer boy has to play head of a massive corporation for the day?
  • he hates it
  • FIRST OF ALL, he cant understand anything anyone is saying
  • he cant even enjoy all the luxury of being Jumin, he’s too busy answering confusing phone calls that he has to clumsily stutter his way through
  • “Mr. Han, did you look over the marketing teams newest proposal for re-branding products to better appeal to a wider range of potential clients?”
  • “um…yea it was good. sounds like a good idea”
  •  “excellent. when you have time today please email me with-”
  • “yea sure tell Jaehee and i’ll do it”
  • “Mr. Han, i think-”
  • he hangs up, and that happens a few times before he even gets to work
  • gets lost like three times looking for his own office
  • as soon as he sees Jaehee he runs up to her and hugs her
  • “Jaehee oh my god this has been the worst morning ever everyone talks like their 50 years old and i-”
  • “Mr. Han? i dont think this behavior is-”
  • he lets go and brushes himself off, clearing his throat
  • “ah..um..yes, of course. i’ll be in my office…..assistant Kang…”
  • tries to pull his office door open, discovering that its a push door
  • all day:

Zen in Jaehee’s body

  • first of all
  • he knew Jaehee was a fan but like….
  • not this big of a fan
  • he is both overwhelmed by how thankful he is to have so much support and…a little freaked out?
  • also, he thinks Jaehee is attractive but who are we kidding, when he looked in the mirror and saw not himself, he was pretty upset
  • also pretty disappointed in Jaehee’s fashion sense but thats another subject for another day
  • there is no way in hell Zen was gonna go play Jumin assistant all day, he would rather die probably
  • and Zen knows better than anyone just how desperately this poor girl needs a break
  • so he decides to have a little treat yo self day!
  • he goes shopping and drinks fancy starbucks coffee and even gets a massage
  • he even snags a few cute boys numbers
  • (which yknow….Jaehee doesnt really need….but anyway)
  • he isnt really giving Jaehee a day off by doing this
  • but at least the massage will leave her feeling good in the morning!!

Jaehee in Seven’s body

  • cleaning
  • just, so much cleaning
  • also leaving the house to buy groceries
  • then getting a violent reminder that Seven is a very busy person when his boss calls
  • he sounds so scary and keeps talking about a “hard deadline” and someone named “agent vanderwood”
  • isnt that Sevens maid or something….?
  • well, no one can work on an empty stomach. not even the defender of justice
  • when she returns, agent vanderwood is there but she doesnt know its him
  • probably goes all martial arts on him, thinking its an intruder
  • vanderwood is a trained agent so he fights back a bit before being like SEVEN WHatTHE FUCK WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING ME ILL LITERALLY TAZE YOU
  • “taze me? arent you here to clean?”
  • VANDERWOOD IS READY TO KILL
  • “just do your work, alright?”
  • “um…yea…of course….”
  • KEYBOARD MASHING
  • Jaehee has no idea whats going on but she knows how to make it sound like she’s doing shit
  • starts working on C&R projects at one point

Jumin in Zen’s body

  • first thing he does is wake up and chop his hair off
  • all that hair just gets in the way?? he hates it??
  • that will be a nice surprise for Zen the next day :)
  • he knows that Zen probably has rehearsal and stuff but he’s not an actor
  • and he has a more important job to do anyway at C&R 
  • uuuggHHHH why doesnt Zen own any NICE suits??!
  • spends Zen’s money on a 3 piece suit
  • much better :)
  • then he tried to go into work just, as Zen
  • so many people tried to stop and ask who he was but he just walked past them
  • theres no time to try and prove his identity, he has to start the work day
  • finally he gets to his floor, where Jaehee is working at her desk
  • “assisstant Kang, i will be working in Zen’s body today. please forward my massages”
  • JAEHEE IS AEUFGGKWBEKJNSDVIHSEFN
  • THATS ZENS VOICE
  • but?? is that zen???
  • so upset because he has to reschedule all his meetings for that day
  • “i cant meet with the board looking like this”

707 in Yoosungs body

  • TIME FOR SCHOOL, KIDS
  • he has so much fun being Yoosung
  • hates Yoosung’s laptop so much
  • he misses his high performance laptop
  • finds a planner with Yoosungs class schedule in it
  • Yoosung doodles all over his planner, thats so cute
  • alright, he has to do everything he can with his one day back in college
  • upon entering his first class, he finds they’re taking an exam
  • its calc 2 so he aces it, of course
  • you’re so welcome, Yoosung
  • acts like a total smart ass all day
  • after classes he plays LOLOL for like 6 hours straight
  • Yoosung is literally so lucky to have me inside his body today
  • (lolololololololol)
  • also does all of Yoosungs homework for him
  • thinks to himself all day wow Seven, you’re such a saint

THANKS FOR READING!!!! SORRY FOR PUSHING MY YOOSEVEN AGENDA ALL THE TIME

edit: i love you too

been reading a lot of klance fics lately so i thought i’d share it w you guys!! here’s 14 of them and definitely my favorites. comes with the title (duh), description, a review by yours truly, and link to the fic. the writers of said fics also have some gorg other masterpieces so be sure to check those out!

1. ) Smile for the Stars by maIikcutie

description

Though he’s been dealt many bad cards, Lance isn’t sure he can handle this one: winding up stranded, a million lightyears away from home, with only Keith to keep him company.
The universe is cruel.

review

amazing a+++ fic but i strongly advise not to read this unless you are willing to live the rest of your life broken hearted and Sad. i promise ur heart will be wrecked but in the best way possible!!! a buncha artists on tumblr made art for this so be sure to check those out & also there’s a epilogue-ish thing for this that dulls the pain a lil less and its called The Stars Smile Back in case yall were interested

2. ) Dirty Laundry by Gibslythe

description:

“Two whole months of free laundry in exchange for two weeks of being my fake boyfriend. Deal?”
Keith hesitated for a moment. Was this really worth it? Hardly. Lance was an asshole, and he wasn’t sure what fake dating would entail. But, free laundry was free laundry, right?
“Alright, it’s a deal.”
Or: Lance makes the mistake of telling his Mom he has a boyfriend coming home with him for Christmas. Keith makes the mistake of agreeing to be Lance’s ‘fake boyfriend’.

review:

if u love slow burn then BOY ur gonna love this !!!! mama lance is so warm i luv her !!! fake dating aka one of my fav tropes so 11/10 and i just rly love this ok im in tears

3. ) call me, beep me by safra

description:

(00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose?
(00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake?
(00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it?
(00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy…
(00:33) Cause, you know, her threes couldvery easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones?
(00:45) What
(00:46) The
(00:46) Fuck??
(00:47) Oh good, you are awake!
where lance messages the wrong number and things kind of snowball from there

review:

i love through-chat fics therefore i am so in love with this!!!!!! your everyday "wrong number” trope but so so so much better!!! cute and happy

4. ) Seasons by fairietailed

description: 

“Do you think we’ll be together, still, by the time we make it home?”
Lance is quiet for a moment, thinking. Then he says, “That depends. Do you plan on going somewhere?”
Keith laughs, threading his fingers through Lance’s hair.
“No, I suppose I don’t.”

review:

their relationship is just SO PURE AND SOFT and so well written i’m in luuuv but the open ending will shatter and will most likely rip u apart

5. )  Don’t Break Connection, Baby by princedeadend

description:

Keith works part-time as a phone sex operator and receives a prank call from Lance. This does not go as planned for Lance. Thus begins the adventure of our dear sweet idiot continuing to call Keith to fuck with him (but not like fuck fuck with him…at least not yet). And y'know, eventually having legit conversations with him and getting attached and growing on Keith.
aka the phone sex operator fic no one asked for

review:

this is soooooooooo cute and adorable and wow i luv ittttt!!! made me smile so hard it hurts

6. ) He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavus

description:

In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed…and so are the true monsters.

review:

oh my god the buildup may be slow but i promise it’s worth it like everything just falls perfectly into place !!! and its so adorable and creative and just wow not ur usual klance fanfic and that just makes it 1000x better and also,,, dragons !!

7. ) Bonding Time by magisterpavus

description:

“Shiro, I fucked up,” Keith blurted, wringing his hands.
Shiro paused mid-punch, shooting him a quizzical look. “What? What happened?”
“I think,” Keith whispered, “I think I accidentally roofied Lance. With my dick.”

review:

galra keith will always and forever be my fav au so this is a definite fav for me !!! i love the other 3 sequels it comes w too!! and nsfw content too dont even lie ik u guys are thirsty for that

8 .) Just Static by Jessadilla

description:

–Static—-
-iro, Hunk, Kei—, nybody? I’m—-
-static–
–I’m sorry guys. This is all my–
–static–cc–
—I found my coordinates. They’re–
-stttcc-
-guys. I hear something—
–scccc-
-end transmission-
Alone on a hostile planet, transmissions aren’t getting through. How did it come to this?

review:

this fic got me sad and crying in the middle of the night )’: wont leave u too sad tho the ending is pretty nice

9. ) What a Healing Pod Can’t Repair by Remember_Me

description:

The compromised wormhole was ripping apart at the seams, sending everyone spiraling away in completely different directions. Lance could feel himself being pulled and bent in ways he was definitely not supposed to be.

Stitching the team back together after everyone is separated is difficult, and for one Paladin rescue wouldn’t be coming for a very long time.

review:

no words. literally no words. this was so painful and just wow the buildup will shatter u i swear )’: also poor bb lance i sob. comes with cool-looking art which makes it a whole lot better

10. ) Seen: 5:29 by SpeedOfSins

description:

AU where Keith is some important guy who has a business suit, and lance is a good housewife. (tha ts a lie, i honestly dont have a summary but this fic hurts, i have been told by at least 3 people)
Written in text format

review:

will wreck u, beware!! may be short but enough to bring u to tears honestly

11. ) On Thin Ice by Minadora

description:

Once upon a time, two Canadian nerds decided to start a figure skating au about their two space sons and their wonderful misfit friends. Ten pages of headcanons later we finally put electronic pen to electronic paper and created this monstrosity. This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to “work on his footwork”. There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater.
Enjoy the ride because it’s only just started.

review:

the description says it all !!!!! a fic beloved by the vld fandom and gosh whats not to love honestly???? also the whole gang is so happy !!! (sidenote: this is unfinished and its killing me)

12. ) I bet you look good on the dancefloor by xShieru

description:

“So like in 'Step Up’?” Allura shrugs. “Now that you put it like that - yes. I guess it’s just like in 'Step Up’.” The smile that she sends Shiro’s way - followed by a shy wave, eugh - is sickening to say the least, and Lance still doesn’t believe in dance camps.
-
Lance McClain’s dancing career begins and ends with Keith.
Keith just wants to find out what Lance’s deal is.

review:

if u love step up ur gonna LOVE this !!!! i love it so so so so much can i just say and wow keith is so hot ffs

13. ) thunderstruck by xShieru

description:

Lance doesn’t pine for anyone ever, Keith’s never been to a dance, Hunk tries his best to be supportive, Shiro is very done, and Pidge steals a car.But hey, it could’ve been worse.

review:

space prom!!!!!!! and cute pining gays!! whats not to love about that?

14. ) In English, Please

description:

Lance thinks he can get away with flirting with Keith if it’s in Spanish. Lance thinks if he says the words angrily enough no one will catch on to the ruse. Lance thinks his secret crush is safe. Lance, my friends, is very…very wrong.

review:

two words - too. cute. i can’t even with this fic

My interpretation of the MOON signs

(You could probs relate your sun if you want maybe even your rising)

Aries: they take up your life: being loud, leaving mess on the stairs, creating arguments out of thin air and always filling the void with their drama. Very self-centred but oblivious to it so I’ll let it be. Problems they hav always someone else’s fault. Very loving and cuddly and express passion easily. Never stick to hobbies after announcing that its there biggest passion n cant survive without it. Though, they don’t wait around for things to be handed to them - they are always up to something interesting. Independent.

Taurus: they are great to spill your words upon and never flinch when u say something deep or shocking so it makes u chill af cause they are…Most of the time…they can get angered when things aren’t as it should as they are very stubborn. don’t like people who aren’t committed to friendship or plans/dreams and dont like people who dont give their stuff back. Seemed to hav cows eyes: very deep n dreamy and long eyelashes -often brown eyes that i know of or watery blue eyes. lov food or other luxuries.

Gemini: childlike, like everything light hearted and humorous. there has to always be words to fill up the quiet spaces otherwise they start to get agitated. Dont like boring people and will blatantly walk off or something. Nervouusss people. Tapping all the time. When they’re in a goood mood they’re goofy but can become detached and cold and become a bit of a smart arse. Like knowing their shit.

Cancer: homely people. Warm and loving to fault as they are always let down by others who do not give the same warmth and pure emotions back. I think they could probably guilt trip u many times. emotions are not hidden which is good and bad because shots are firedddd and their words filled venom when there really cheesed off. Like lots of nice things. also love cute fluffy animals. Love their family to be always near - protective can become smothering. Talk about the ‘good old days’ 24/7.

Leo: why are you so posey and dramatic? They like to tell a tall tale - love to add bits to the truth to make it more exciting - which is actually interesting to hear tbh so good job :) they love to be centre of attention obvs. Also hold their heads high and always seem taller than actually are. Full of exuberance. & they often believe in their abilities so they achieve good grades and r smarttt!

Virgo: lovs when people do little silly things for them because they like when people are as detail orientated as them. expect too much of people becaus they do too much for others. Nervous but lowkey cause their earthiness sort of makes it hum in the background. Has potential to be shady. I love their organisation, chills me the f out. Some reason i feel they be really good at ASMR videos because of their voice & movements. and they r actually quite talkative but its usually nothing too intellectual or snobbish just good natter. Bites their nails!

Libra: i dont get them. They dont make an imposing impression on me as they’re delicate and not too in ya face. Loves knitted jumpers and wearing light colours Ive noticed. Sweet n gentle. Probs could get away with murder. Gets really into things like a celeb or tv series for a while. Has fan blogs probably. like to talk about things such as kpop, clothes, items in their neat pencil case and make up. Idkkk

Scorpio: protectivveee. Intense. Passionate about theirs hobbies and interests. Can become lost in their own intellectual, abstract world forgetting what is truly important until they realise and become regretful and then hold many unresolved grudges. They are e m o t i o n a l but try to hide it - constantly simmering and on the verge of erupting. Though they are quite interested in their own passion - they’ll hype u up about yours and talk for hours about theirs and your own dreams. Abstract knowledge that seems to appear out of no where when they speak -unconventionally smart.

Sagittarius: want to escape reality. Someone i used to know would read a lot of books - probs erotic - she also used her work as escapism? her husband wouldn’t take her on holiday:( another i know comes across very cool and full of knowledge and like to says corny things like ‘you might as well live your life to the fullest because you’ve only got one’. acts like a philosopher. Has gooood taste in music. knows everyone and can keep good relationships with all of them.

Capricorn: thinks they’re are funny af but peeps often laugh at their jokes cause they’re just a bit shit. Tries to come across cool 😎looking for a for job but isn’t working out lol. Wants fame n fortune. they love to talk deep and intellectual without getting too personal. probably quite lovey dovey but it is buried deep inside them. likes to keep it light by listening to music or watching the telly otherwise there thoughts overwhelm them. ( i hav cap moon so might look like a different viewpoint to the others moon signs)

Aquarius: loves to make a point that they are different lol. Intellectual af cause they really smart. Can talk for hours on end but still likes down time. they are the world’s friend but they only let a few know the real them (if thats is actually the real them ). Quirky sense of humour. Hav big dreams and most likely succeed in pursuing them. they are very open about weird stories and experiences they hav had which is fun to hear. will hav something to say about every topic on earth - love to share an opinion.

Pisces: too kind for their own good. They know your weaknesses/insecurities from first time you meet. i think they have melancholy spells which they find themselves in a trance - i catch them staring blankly quite a lot. Love to ask if you’re okay. Mooody. Let down by humanity. Very chatty and has of cool things to say. Music may rule their life - musically talented in one case ik (probs used as escapism). Can be burdened with very unsettling thoughts of not being good enough; making sure they keep there reputation for being the nice guy which means getting pushed about

Otayuri High School AU (because of reasons)

-Yuri is the freshman sports prodigy on the track team (because most schools probably dont have a figure skating team)

-Otabek is the senior captain of the debate club (trust me ok? just hear me out)

-Yuri gets dragged to a debate by Viktor who wants to watch his “sweet adorable Yuuri win!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

-People recognize Yuri and find it weird that the angry track team freshman is watching a debate with school heartthrob Viktor Nikiforov

- Otabek sits at the end of the table in the captain’s position with Yuuri on his left and isnt Otabek that guy that Mila keeps talking about ???

-Yuri tries to focus of the debate (not like he wanted to watch people argue anyway) but he cant ???????? because Otabek keeps doing this thing with his jaw and its really attractive distracting OF NO SIGNIFICANCE WHAT SO EVER

-Yuri thinks it’s weird that Otabek hasnt said a word throughout the whole match because he’s the captain so ???? shouldnt he be ????? you know ???? doing something ?????

-Viktor suddenly gets really excited when the opposing school calls out Otabek on his silence

-Yuri is really confused because the whole room is silent and even Viktor finally shut up so what is he missing ????????

-the opposing school looks really smug (Yuri is not happy bc he has that school spirit) when Otabek clears his throat and stands

-he has no notes ??????

-everyone else had notes ??????? so where are Otabek’s notes ??????

-there’s a beat of silence and Otabek barely says twenty words but even Yuri knows that the debate is over and holy shit his voice-IMEANWHAT

-he has to know more about this Word Magician because who cares about running when this boy just shut up a table of annoying teenagers ???

-Viktor and Mila tease him senselessly about his “little crush” WHICH IT IS NOT

-he just happens to find him… admirable

-turns out, when they do meet, that otabek had been the one admiring him ever since he joined the track team

-bc otabek just loves the grace and speed that Yuri seems to so naturally possess ????

-but Yuri, who has never been good with words or conversation, cant get over how easily Otabek is able to get out of conversations or keep them going without really saying/doing much ????

-they become besties quickly after they meet and are pretty much inseparable

-you really cant have one without the other involved in some way (they’re texting each other or talking on the phone or they’re both present)

-otabek picks Yuri up from track and cheers him on at races

-yuri goes to all of otabek’s debates and is honestly the most excited person there

-they call each other Beka and Yura obviously mila teases Yuri about it to no end

-eventually, they both realize they have it bad for each other and no amount of teasing is going to make it any easier im looking at you mila

-oops

continental drift

(#21 off the Super Sappy Prompts list: “I’m better when I’m with you.”)

It’s an experiment based on a hypothesis based on a coincidence. They’re sharing a room on a roadie, and Nursey has been stuck in a dry spell for a week and a half now. The words just haven’t been coming the way he wants them to, and he’s starting to feel dried out, like all the creative juices have been wrung out of him by school stress and lack of sleep. Maybe it’ll never come back. Maybe he’s just done. All washed up by the tender age of twenty.

He’s not even trying to write as he watches Dex from across the room, tracking his fidgets and expressions as he sits hunched over his laptop frowning at the screen. It’s been a while since he and Dex have been in the same room for an extended period of time – a fortnight, about. Dex has been on a project, and Nursey started isolating himself about when the drought hit. But it was nice to sit with him on the bus today, and it’s nice to dump his bag near the bed and just relax, hands behind his head, and drink in his presence. It feels like something he’s been missing for far too long.

Nursey’s not sure what it is that makes the words start coming back, but it’s like a cloudburst on a hot day – a few lines, scattered drops against a parched sidewalk, then all at once he’s drowning.

He writes for four hours that night. His poems are full of microchips and anger, all about the gray morality of man against the rigidity of binary code, and by one a.m., when he should really be getting his beauty rest for tomorrow’s game, he’s starting to formulate a theory.

The theory is that maybe being in Dex’s proximity jumpstarts his creativity. In a phrase, Dex inspires him.

So Nursey resolves to test it.

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Lips (Drabble)

Summary: You and Bucky are kissing when you find his particular weakness.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 351

Based off of this prompt: “D-Don’t do that with your lips.”

Warnings: Making out, & kinda smutty? (just the buildup though)

A/N: So this drabble wouldn’t have been possible without my babe Gen, @bucky-plums-barnes, who gave me the idea for this drabble since I was stuck on what to do. She’s a smut queen™ (but you guys probably know that) & she came up with this idea in like .2 seconds when I told her the prompt because she’s talented & I LOVE HER OKAY. Anyway, this was fun to write, even if I’m terrible at smut. I just need practice, I guess. Hope you enjoy :)

Originally posted by perfectfeelings

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disclaimer - i’m not a career coach. this is just advice based on personal experience. as a business/marketing major i interviewed with companies like google, nike, philips, and am now interning at microsoft. these tips will not guarantee you a job and some things might not work in your country/industry (but hopefully they will help you along the way!)

1. your resume

  •  this is your ultimate marketing tool. make it work for you. i personally prefer resumes that are limited to 1 page.  it’s true that recruiters only glance at your cv for just a couple of seconds, so make yours stand out, yet keep it minimal/simple.
  • for each job, list bullet points and make them result-driven (and make your first bullet your best bullet).

(i will share some example layouts soon)

2. the application process / preparing for your interview

  • you have nothing to lose. see a job that interests you? just apply! even if you don’t meet all the requirements, it’s worth a shot. what’s the worst that can happen? you might think “but i’m not good enough for this job” - lemme tell ya, that mindset is not gonna land you ANY job at all. 
  • don’t wait until the application deadline. 
  • prepare a pitch about yourself and memorize this so you’re good to go when the interviewer asks you to tell something about yourself.
  • there are many websites out there that list basic interview questions. make sure you prepare for these. just google (common/top) interview questions”. make sure you have an answer in mind. 
  • it’s okay to indicate some of your weaknesses, but either conceal them with a strength or tell them that you’re working on improving yourself. no one is perfect. show that you’re eager to learn and grow. 
  • study the company. don’t just look at what they sell, but also study their mission, history and what they do “behind the scenes” (e.g. philanthropic initiatives). also have an answer to why you would want to work for this company (and why you choose them instead of their direct competitor).
  • ALWAYS prepare questions for the interviewer, too. one question that i like to ask is “what is one thing you DON’T like about working for this company?”. i have asked this to managers at google and microsoft, and some didn’t have an answer for me hehe. surprise them. 

3. the interview

  • BE YOURSELF! i can’t stress the importance of this enough. it’s totally ok to be nervous, but try to relax anyways!
  • practice a firm handshake.
  • always be prepared to elaborate on your cv and job experiences. this shouldn’t be a problem as long as you don’t lie on your cv lol. 
  • dont worry about awkward silences when the interviewer asks you a question. take some time to compose your answers rather than simply trying to bridge the silence by blurting out something . some companies also like to hear your think out loud.
  • take some time to get to know the interviewer. if s/he doesn’t do so already, ask the interviewer to tell something about themselves.
  • dress accordingly (some companies require you to dress smart, others are fine if you show up in a casual outfit). if you don’t know what the dresscode is, don’t be afraid to contact the recruiter about it. 
  • didn’t get the job? don’t be so hard on yourself. you tried your best, so consider your interviewing process a lesson and a training. 

4. on the job

  • networking is important. schedule coffee with your teammembers so you can get to know them better one on one (maybe you’ll even make some friends along the way). are you interested in what other teams or departments do? don’t be shy and get to know them too. (note: do check your organizational structure. by that i mean: don’t just schedule coffee with all senior managers and directors if that is not a part of your company culture lol)
  • if another intern is onboarding you and showing you the ins and outs, always take notes. you tell yourself you will remember everything, but trust me; you won’t. write down any instructions you receive and you will thank yourself later. 
  • never ever be afraid to ask questions. don’t be afraid to ask for help.
  • don’t be afraid of new challenges.  

if you have any q’s, shoot me a message. got any additional tips? feel free to send me those and i’ll add them to my list (ofc i’ll credit where due).

good luck everyone! 

Fire (Bucky Barnes x Reader) Request! 🙌🏽

A/N: Hey y'all! This was sent in by the lovely anon who requested some hardcore angry sex. I kinda changed it up a lil bit because the original one i wrote I lost cuz I didn’t save it and I couldn’t get on tumblr to re look at the request! 😭 but I hope you like it! ENJOY! - Delilah ❤


Request: I’m begging you, full out on my knees, to make a smutty bucky one-shot that is just total hate sex. Like him and the reader just dont get along, she thinks hes too brooding and a total try hard, and he thinks shes a pampered bitch. and then one night when theyre fighting just BAM! hate sex but then they realize they actually like each other but none of them will admit it ;)) (there can be a part two, if you want, maybe,) I love your writing

xxxxxxxx


“Are you fucking serious, Barnes?” you spat as you both entered the quinjet.

This was the third time in the last month he’s jeopardized a mission. The last two were purely out of spite, just to get a reaction out of you. But this time, he almost got you killed as well. To say the both of you disliked each other was a serious understatement. You fucking despised each other with a fiery passion and everyone knew it. You two were polar opposites.

When Bucky got into his little mood swings, he expected you to just shut your mouth and take it. After all, that’s what he was used to with Steve. But you weren’t anything like Steve. Not at all. You were extremely outspoken, you spoke your mind whenever and however you wanted. You weren’t anybody’s trained monkey, especially not his. So of course, when he realized you had zero amount of chill in you, all it did was piss him off even more and fuel the fire between you two.

“For fucks sake, Y/N,” he spat back just as bitterly. “Just shut your mouth for once!”

You scoffed, crossing your arms. You honestly didn’t understand his logic. So, you were supposed to just sit quiet while he screwed this entire operation up? No fucking way.

“I know you’re probably used to getting your way,” you bickered, sitting in the pilot seat and flicking on the many switches. “But I’m not everybody else.”

All though you couldn’t see him, you could tell your words hit home. The subtle rumbling of the quinjet was the only audible thing as it lifted from the ground. You, being the pilot and all, kept your focus on keeping the jet in the air. But all that went to shit as soon as you heard him say something under his breath.

“Excuse me?” you spun around in the chair.

“I said you really need to get laid. That’s probably why you’re such a bitch all the time.”

You usually had excellent composure when it came to problematic people like him, but that was your last straw. Standing up, you walked over towards him and smacked him straight across the face.

His head jolted to the side from the force. Slowly, you could see a little red handprint right where the spot was.His eyes widened at first and you immediately regretted hitting him. Reality started hitting you like a brick wall. Bucky was twice your size, not in height though. You were only two or three inches shorter, but when it came to muscle mass, he was a fucking beast.
And you just had to go and awaken it, didn’t you?

“I-I’m sorry!” you squeaked, backing away from him slowly.

He was completely silent, and that sent chills down your spine. He stepped forward, stalking towards you. His blue eyes were much darker than before, which wasn’t a good sign at all. Oh god, what if you somehow managed to send him straight into Winter Soldier mode? If that happened, there was no way on earth you’d be able to fight him off.

Your instincts finally kicked in, screaming at you to run towards the rear of the jet, which held most of the weaponry. It wasn’t the brightest idea but what else was there? You were in midair! Without another thought, you tried to slip past him.

And boy were you wrong.

With ease, Bucky’s metal and wrapped around your throat and slammed you into the wall of the quinjet. You let out a frightened squeak. He placed his flesh hand around your chin harshly, digging into the flesh. You kicked your legs, trying to at least knee him in the crotch. Nat always said that was the best defense in those situations.

Before you could do it, you felt Bucky’s lips on yours.

You went completely frozen.

You expected to be stabbed to death, certainly not this. As fucked up as it was, you couldn’t help but acknowledge how nice his lips felt against your trembling ones. His lips moved against yours expertly, his tongue running along your bottom lip. You didn’t mean to, but a small moan escaped your lips. He pressed his body into yours, easing himself between your legs.

It’s as if he could tell you were enjoying yourself. He pulled away far too soon, smirking down at your smaller self with triumph. Oh, you hated him so much.

“See?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. “You’re already a much more pleasant person and we’ve only gotten to first base.”
You wiggled in his grasp, earning nothing but an amused chuckle from him. As humiliating as it was, you were so turned on. You could feel the wetness inside your cat suit and you desperately wished it would go away.

“I hate you,” you frowned, much to Bucky’s dismay.

“I don’t hate you, Y/N.” he says, leaning in between your legs and pressing kisses along your throat. You gasped, throwing your head back. “I dislike you sometimes,” He sucked harshly on the piece of flesh just below your ear, earning a cry of pleasure from you.

“But. I. Don’t. Fucking. Hate. You.” he thrusted his hips against yours after each word, causing your breaths to stutter.

With a small, submissive moan, you spread your legs wider for him. You could feel him grin into your neck. He was enjoying this so much. With another roll of his hips, you felt your orgasm growing nearer. You let out little pants, moving your hips against his much harder. Bucky’s erection pressed against your heat, giving you a sweet mental image of how big he was.

“Bucky,” you whispered, your voice trembling as your orgasm neared. “Please…I’m…I’m gonna-“

The next thing you know, Bucky’s hand released its grip on your throat. Instead, his hand went straight for your ponytail, twisting it painfully. You let out cry, reaching your hands behind your head to free yourself. He practically dragged you away from the wall, all the way until you were facing the large window of the quinjet windshield.

Bucky’s flesh hand slid down to your lower back and gave you a harsh push. Losing your balance, you felt your front collide with the dashboard, your suit pressing against the many buttons. You winced at the feeling of the buttons pressing into your torso. There was no doubt, you were going to have a dozen little triangular shaped bruises tomorrow.

Bucky’s hand gripped the zipper of your suit and slowly tugged it down. You felt the material separate down your body, leaving you exposed. His hand traced down your spine gently, taking in the feel of your feverish skin. With a groan, you rocked your behind back into his crotch. He hissed, grabbing the unzipped material and pulling it from your body, leaving you in only your underwear.

“Fuck…” you heard him whisper under his breath. His hand traced the curve of your ass gently, feeling the soft skin in his hands. He pinched it harshly, earning a cry from you. Bucky traced the waistband of your underwear, pulling it back from your body and snapping it back onto your skin.

“Bucky,” you moaned. “Please fuck me.” You didn’t care how desperate you sounded anymore. You wanted him inside you so fucking bad and all he did was tease you. It was so unfair.

“You gotta ask nicely, sweetheart.” He cooed, hooking his finger underneath the waist band of your underwear and tugging them down your thighs. You could hear the sound of his belt coming undone and the shuffling of his pants coming off. You saw his jacket and shirt being tossed onto the pilot chair near you.

“Please, Bucky,” you tried to sound as innocent as possible. “Please fuck me hard. I need it so bad. Please…sir.”

His fingers dug into the flesh of your hips at the last word.

You were in for it now.

Without any warning, he slammed his hips into yours, his cock entering you forcefully. You let out a scream that echoed throughout the quinjet. Bucky fucked you hard and fast, his metal hand twisted into your hair. Your body jolted forward with each thrust, your nipples brushing against the many buttons beneath you.

“Oh my go-o-o-od!” you moaned, your voice stuttering with each thrust. Bucky nudged his foot with your left one, forcing your legs apart even further. You could feel each and every inch of him inside you, burying himself into your heat deeper and deeper. You placed your hands on the dashboard for support.

“You like that, you little bitch?” he asked, landing a smack onto your behind. You nodded your head furiously. He gave you another smack, this one harder than the last.

“Yes, sir!” You cried out, clenching around his cock. “I love it so fucking much!”

He threw his head back at the feeling, letting out a string of Russian curses. You didn’t understand what he said, but it was still probably the hottest thing you’ve seen. The way his abs flexed each time he crashed into you sent a wave of arousal over you.
For the second time, you felt your orgasm creeping up. You were so fucking close, so close. You just needed it a little bit harder.

Your thighs began to tremble from the approaching euphoria; your eyes closed on their own accord. You could feel your juices on Bucky’s thighs, dripping down your own onto the ground. The sounds that escaped your mouth were so fucking dirty and borderline pornographic, but it only seemed to please Bucky even more.

With a scream of his name, you came on Bucky’s cock. Your pussy tightened around him, milking him into his own release. Bucky fell against your back, his hips stuttering as he neared his own finish. You whimpered, feeling the aftershocks of his thrusts. You could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest. You reached your hand behind you, slipping it between the two of you and began massaging his balls.
And that was it for him.

“Fuck, Y/N!” he shouted into your shoulder, his hips slamming into yours a final time. You could feel his come coat your walls, filling you up. You wiggle from underneath him, accidentally clenching around his cock. His let out a groan, his fingers digging into your hips.

“I think my hips are broken.” You whisper, peering over your shoulder. All jokes aside, you could already feel the soreness building in your hip area. Jesus, you won’t be able to sit down for at least a few days. Damn Bucky and his super soldier cock.

“I don’t hate you,” he admitted softly into your shoulder, completely ignoring your previous statement. Your eyes widened. “I never really did dislike you, either.”

You turned your head to the side. “Then why do you treat me like you do?” you ask, staring at the wall of the quinjet. This was more than just shocking. You were actually convinced that he hated you with his entire being. So what was going on?

“I’m not exactly good at expressing love correctly,” he confessed, letting out a small laugh. But you could tell there was no humor behind it.

“Love?” You questioned, your eyebrows raised.

“I love you, Y/N,” he shifted so that he was right by your ear now. “I have for a while now.”

You couldn’t fight the grin that spread on your face even if you wanted to.

You sigh dramatically. “I guess I kinda, sorta, maybe love you, too. But only if you promise to do this every time we fight.”

He let out a laugh, sending vibrations down your spine.

“You got it, doll.”


-FIN ❤

(I can’t look at the quinjet the same now lol!) ❤

Scream It Louder

Originally posted by jeonfhan

Character(s): Reader X Wonho, BestFriend!hyungwon

Genre: smut, slight sexual tension

Warning(s): jealous smut, slow build, praise!kink, rough sex

Length: 8.5 k words

A/N: For the anon that requested a wonho smut similar to the kihyun one. im sorry this ain’t really my best work, but yoooo Wonho got me feelin some type of way


You scrunch up your nose as you stand behind Hoseok, fingers digging into the hem of his shirt as he drizzles cheese onto the nachos.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” You ask, eyeing the mess of salsa, ground beef, tortilla chips, and cheese on the baking sheet.

He groans, tipping his head back, “Of course I know what I’m doing. God, do I look like I’m 12?”

“Nah,” you respond, grinning cheekily, “More like 15. That awkward mid-puberty boy type of look.”

He swats his hand at your grip on his shirt, pointing the wooden spoon in his hand at the sofa.

“Go and sit and be quiet if you want any food,” he says, turning his attention back to the nachos.

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Muse

Originally posted by sugutie

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst (it will contain smut in the next parts)

a/n: The story will have another part. So dont worry, im not cutting you off

Description:Jungkook is a  photography major in collaage. Every girl likes him yet he only has eyes for his camera, until he -even tho he hasnt realized it yet-  finds his muse.

Part1 Part 2  Part3

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