Dongtini: Episode 45

On this episode: Simone is confronted with interpretive dancing and interactive balloon “art,” Stephy used to hate L.A., a listener asks how we deal with being depressed, Simone ordered the “I Am Fortified” at Cafe Gratitude, and Stephy was tortured by country music the entire time she lived in Texas. Plus: miniature horses, Robin Gibb, and are our dongs too pronounced? Be a lamb and take our poll.

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Dongtini Episode 78

On this episode: Simone’s trash celebrity boycott, Stephy’s breathless emails from captivity, and a bar with a giant whale dong. Also: Stephy’s issue with the word utilize and Simone’s redemption path for it, operating from conviction as opposed to mandate, ironic liking, Birdemic and The Room, accessing outrage,  Jezebel, Teen Wolf, fecal transplantation aka high-tech Monroe transfer (come for the love, stay for the health), a Back To The Future Delorean-inspired stroller, the Karen Carpenter bio, Mark Driscoll’s iPad giveaway, and The Good Wife’s religious subtext. We don’t have the answers, listener. Only the questions.

Dongtini: Episode 70

On this episode: French 75s, the other Dave and Steph, brunch is a horrible word, Catilin Moran’s endearing brand of feminism, Alphanail will get you so laid, the care and feeding of your enneagram 4, injustice and fluffy kitties, speaking the same relational language, self-soothing and emotional currency, 69 vs 68 ½, Emily from Talk Time leaves a voicemail about her sympathy lactation, the conundrum of treating your family worse than anyone else when you love them more than anyone else, Betty Butterfield (“Mmhellooo?”), fistfighting with your sister, Ghostbusters 2 is shit, listener voicemails about dongs, and no self-respecting man should ever have to buy cotton balls.

Dongtini: Episode 58

On this episode: Simone reads the original pitch for the completely surreal Jason Alexander/Nickelback video, Stephy repeatedly texted the wrong person because she assumed they were kidding (“Seriously, you have the wrong number.” “Whatever, asspunch!”), and David and Gregg show up for another disgusting round of Would You Rather? Also: the fuck threshold, early-onset dementia, Goodreads is fun and Stephy conducts an experiment in which she shows David gay porn while he is eating dinner (conclusion: definitely do that again).


Dongtini: Episode 52

On this episode: Stephanie is on a road trip with evangelical family, in spite of no listener demand Simone’s potato salad is back and making quite a splash, name-dropping feels icky but also feels necessary, and Stephy is interviewed for a documentary about Christians holding out for marriage to have sex. Also: Taco Bell news, Clownvis Presley’s Dongline Song, Stephanie Tanner and Ray Pruitt’s Donna Martin induced blue balls.

Dongtini: Episode 49

On this episode: The guy who got his face eaten off has a very positive attitude, a listener asks how to deal with parents who think they know God’s motives, Simone the Magic Person is plotting a comeback, and Stephy got a massive surprise in the mail. Plus: Boozey baby showers, dong leggings, Father’s Day sucks, a Focus on the Family movie review and Taco Bell news! Prepare to be amazed!

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We welcome the Dongtini Podcast to Feral Audio!

Get to know Simone Turkington and Stephanie Drury. What’s a Dongtini? 

1 oz faith, 1 oz disbelief, .5 oz class, .5 oz of crass, shaken. Add a splash of whipped cream vodka, gently stir with a dong, and garnish with Taco Bell hot sauce and you have a Dongtini*.

* actual Dongtini recipe is any drink that’s been stirred with a dong.

On this episode: we join the festival of intensity on Feral Audio, Klout sucks like LinkedIn sucks, our grandparents are racist, angry lesbians send the best hate mail,Australian candy, our awkward creepy true pickup stories, Facebook’s new Messenger feature “seen at 9:07” is making us insecure, Simone had to tell her mum what a dong is, there are actually people out there who brag that they hate the Beatles, Focus on the Family’s unintentionally hilarious movie reviews, Simone declined to be photographed for [NSFW], Stephy hates Blue Like Jazz and Simone hates Stephy’s summer jam.

Find more great podcasts on Feral Audio: An Artist Friendly Podcast Collective


Dongtini: Episode 54

On this episode: Stephy is visiting Simone in LA, which means recording at Taco Bell for the grand reveal of the Cantina Bell menu along with David. We are soon distracted by a dodgy hookup nearby and record that instead, then are shamed by a bystander. Also: an accidental party with Duncan and Rachel, social anxiety and being choked by adrenaline, the best bookstore in the free world, Simone’s unfortunate Family Cloth discovery, Stephy ate fake meat made out of walnuts and liked it, a website devoted to Things To Put On Your Dick, our perspective on rape jokes, and a listener call about making friends.