26/100 days of productivity
This is probably cheating, but sometimes it’s hard to take pictures every single day when I’m doing the same thing… but I was productive, kind of. My motivation recently has been very low but I’m doing my best, my first essay is done and submitted, I’m working on the second one, but the thought of coming exams and deadlines doesn’t really motivate me. Also, I’m loving my mildliners!
in high school i truly wasn’t ever really interested in the party scene and drinking in general. so I was never really invited to many parties because they’d assume I wouldn’t go. keep in mind, i never knew what actually happened at these parties except the typical stereotype of what a high school party was depicted like in movies. well one day, an acquaintance of mine invited me to, in her own words: “a birthday thing at my place.” so I’m like oh my gosh this is my first real party!!! i’m extremely excited and i spend all day getting an outfit and picking the perfect gift for her. that night, i came dressed in heels and a brand new dress, hair curled with her present perfectly wrapped with a bow in my arms. i burst threw her front lawn gate when I realize ……. there’s no table for the gifts. there’s no tables of food or long tables for others to sit in. i just see everyone in the senior class wearing the normal clothes from earlier that school day, drinking coronas, all stopping to look at me. it’s not an actually birthday “party”. it’s a kick back.
i overly dressed … and brought a wrapped gift …. to a kickback……..
to this day, people still laugh when bringing it up and when they see me on the street. i still think it’s the most embarrassing/annoyingly innocent thing I’ve ever done.
Bitty whines, throwing his head back. “I am so tired. I can’t do this
Bits. You’re almost there,” Jack says encouragingly.
so sleepy,” Bitty complains. “My arms are heavy. My fning—ah!” Bitty
huffs. “My fingers hurt. Listen, I’m slurrin’ all my words.”
spins the desk chair to look at Jack, and pouts.
look tired.” Jack gazes at him, eyes narrowing.
“So tired,” Bitty professes. “I’ll finish
sighs. “That essay is due at nine am.”
bites his lip. He’s well aware of that. “Sleep though, Jack. Sleep.”
waking up early,” Jack points out with a raised eyebrow.
every now and then is fine.” Bitty tries to say it with conviction.
his bookmark in his paperback. “How long until you’re finished?” Jack
asks. “Referenced and proof-read finished, not first draft finished,” he
adds before Bitty can reply.
shuts his mouth against his automatic response of twenty minutes.
Maybe an hour?”
checks the time on his watch, which he’d placed on the bedside table earlier.
Jack stands up and stretches, then gestures for Bitty to come over to him.
god,” Bitty mutters under his breath, saving his document and shutting the laptop
without powering down.
his body over to Jack’s and falls into him. He wraps his arms around his
boyfriend and presses his face into Jack’s chest, breathing deeply. He loves
how Jack smells. Like soap, and his deodorant, and a little bit of sweat.
hands crawl up Bitty’s back, under his shirt, and he rocks Bitty gently
side-to-side. Bitty swears he could fall asleep just like this.
Jack’s hands start to wander; down to Bitty’s ass, slipping under the elastic
of his track pants. Bitty shivers as Jack’s nails scratch the skin, and when he
leans back to ask Jack what he’s doing, Jack kisses him.
when Jack initiates, it’s soft—he appreciates a slow build up. Tonight is
different. Jack pushes against Bitty immediately, leaning into him and over him
so that Bitty’s body curves back harshly, and Jack seems even taller than
kisses and kisses, his lips moving and sucking on Bitty’s with fervour. Bitty
matches him, suddenly wide-awake, and his hands move to bury themselves in
Jack’s hair as he attempts to meld his lips to Bitty’s.
god. Jack,” Bitty pants and Jack moves on, kissing harshly down his jawline.
Bitty’s lips feel swollen and tender when he bites down on one.
pulls back and smiles down, flushed, eyes alight. “How do you feel?”
know,” Bitty confesses breathlessly, still reeling from the enthusiasm and
Jack steps back from Bitty, and grabs his shoulders to turn him around. He
leans in close, chest pressing against Bitty’s shoulders, and puts his lips
against Bitty’s ear. “Now, go finish your essay.”
shoves a speechless Bitty back toward the desk.
“ IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY TODAY, WE’RE GONNA CELEBRATE ALL DAY LONG, NA RAAYYY ? ” “ yes…I love birthday parties ~ ”
huehuehueeee ! another maniacal birthday Party \( >w>)9 ! everyone hide - or just give him some cappucino and creme pasta in order to make him truly happyyyy ~ (ᕗ ᐛ )ᕗ !! uhhh yiiisss PizzaPastaPizzaMargheritaaa ayayayyyyyy ~
aaaahhhh I also wonder how he looks like without his rabbit-hat… ! his bootyful Vampire-Ikemen-eyes must be seeeeen ~ besides, his Illumination/TotalEclipse technique is so amaziinnngggggg *^*) !!
drawing the wrath subclasses is great af ,gotta draw them digitally too someday ò^ó)!
I have lots of feelings about Tchaikovsky! His music, 10/10. His gayness, also 10/10. If you are interested in lgbt+ composers in general I would recommend my sideblog @lgbtcomposers which I dedicated entirely to the subject. This post is one talking about some of Tchaikovsky’s gay exploits (although I plan on adding more detail in a post of my own later.)
I have LOTS of favorite Tchaikovsky pieces… but to try to narrow it down a little bit… (in no particular order)
Souvenir de Florence - great piece for strings, each movement is very different from the next, it’s very exciting to play
Symphony no. 4 - nicknamed the “Fate” symphony. “Fate” described by Tchaikovsky as: “the fatal power which prevents one from attaining the goal of happiness … There is nothing to be done but to submit to it and lament in vain.” With this “fate,” Tchaikovsky said that “all life is an unbroken alternation of hard reality with swiftly passing dreams and visions of happiness,” and “No haven exists … Drift upon that sea until it engulfs and submerges you in its depths.” This “fate” very much seems like what would feel like the inevitable destruction of happiness in a homophobic society.
Symphony no. 5 - each movement is gorgeous but especially listen to the second movement (~17:20) which is very romantic and pining and has lots of gay angsty feelings and lyrical sweet passages and some very… climactic moments… shall we say
Violin Concerto - Tchaikovsky wrote this with Iosif Kotek, his male lover, in mind. However, he did not formally dedicate the piece to him, because he thought people would suspect something. This concerto is very romantic and has soaring themes that feel like they could only have been written by a man in love.
Romeo and Juliet - written thinking of a different male lover. I can’t get over the fact that the famous love theme here, supposedly describing Romeo and Juliet, the “epitome of straight romance,” is in fact, written by a gay man for his male lover.