donaldv

I really don’t care if you roast me on how i looked back then with my shaved head. but this is probably the last photo that i have have with my dearest great grandmother. I wish i could visit her one last time before she had passed away, but it’s too late. She has lived a strong 93 years and I am really glad to have had her in my life with all of the life advice that she gives me every time that i have visited her since i was 4. I know that I used to be ehh about these lectures when i was younger, but i realize now that words from her are gold and i will forever remember what she had always been telling me. I love you great grandma. RIP<3

Ignorance

The past couple of days had made me realize how i’d been acting every time i would see you.  I admit to being a little protective on my part, there is a reason behind it though. Almost everyday i would wonder to myself about how a guy like me had ever gotten a wonderful girl like you. I had always been afraid of how i would lose you to a better looking guy. Throughout my whole life, people have always called me “ugly”. even though i would know that they’re joking, i kind of thought that it might have been true. My ex’s weren’t exactly a walk on a beach either. My last girlfriend yelled at me saying that the next girlfriend i have wouldn’t care for me as much as she did, and then I mistakenly thought it was going to be true so I have been getting jealous if you left me to hang out with others and the girl before that had cheated on me..  I had been scared to approach you, i guess that fear had led to sadness and that had led to anger.

I’ve taken advantage of how you would come to me and apologize every end of the day that i see you. I’m sorry for all of the stress that i have caused for you. I’m sorry that i get intimidated every time you’re around me. I’m sorry for accusing you for things that you may have not done like flirting with others or deserting me for others. I’m sorry for expecting you to come to me. I’m sorry for how i wouldn’t tell you what’s bothering me and how i would hold it inside and build up the sadness that grows as the day progresses.

I wouldn’t want you to think I’m annoying so i guess that’s whats keeping me from telling you how i really feel in the inside. That is also the reason why I’m afraid to approach you sometimes.

I fucked up. I realized what i have done wrong. I want to change your views of me, your basic knowledge of me. I don’t want you to think that i’m a person that gets angry easily for the littlest reasons because I really am not. I want to change for the better. I want to be the reason that you smile. I want to be able to call you mine. I want to be able to talk to you without hesitation. I want you and only you.

But I guess my chance is over. I haven’t gotten a chance to know you a lot more. I regret making you feel how you have felt the past couple of days. I’m  sorry, I really am.