donald for spider man

Despite the fact that Trump has not (to date) flown around on a Halloween-themed hoverboard while wearing a goblin costume and hurling bombs at people, he does have a lot in common with Norman Osborn. Both of them are business tycoons who live in giant towers in New York City.

Both of them also have a thing for blondes who are much younger than them. Trump, despite looking like an embalming accident, is married to a former model 25 years his junior, while Osborn had an affair with Spider-Man’s girlfriend, Gwen Stacy. Both these turns of events are equally inexplicable.

So strong is this blonde obsession, in fact, that it even leads these powerful men to desire (or repeatedly joke about desiring) women they should stay the hell away from. Osborn once impregnated his son’s girlfriend, while Trump’s own family weirdness is somehow even more off-putting. We’re not going to detail every sexual comment he’s made about his daughters here, because 1) there are already enough articles about that, and 2) holy shit there are multiple articles about that.

And finally, one has pumpkin bombs, while the other simply resembles a pumpkin.

But wait. Wacky looks, lavish buildings, younger women, incestuous overtones – we’re describing every millionaire ever here, aren’t we? Sure, but that’s only the beginning.

How Marvel Predicted Trump’s Rise Almost 10 Years Ago

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First New “Spider-Man: Homecoming” Trailer with starring Donald Glover

Spider-Man: Homecoming Credit Scenes prediction

Mid-Credit Scene: A scene from Avengers: Infinity War showing Peter’s involvement in the plot of that movie. Probably Thanos attacking New York.

Post-Credit Scene: Miles Morales (Abraham Attah) mourning his uncle, career criminal Aaron Davis (Donald Glover) and blaming Spider-Man for his death. Miles somehow got a hold of spider powers (or a way to get them), which sets up him becoming Spider-Man and Peter’s rival-turned-ally in the Spiderman sequel (coming out 2019-2020).

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It’s all fun and games online until Trump shows up. I draw the line at Trump.

Reasons Donald Glover should play Spiderman:

he can totally pull off the nerdy Peter Parker look if they decide to go that way

if they want to go another way, we already know he plays a killer Miles Morales

He’ already expressed interest in the part

This picture exists

WE ALREADY HAVE SO MANY WHITE PROTAGONISTS

Not to mention he is very handsome, which is a plus.