Want more gushing about the new Ducktales intro? No? Too bad! I’ve already said I’m so excited to have Donald on board full time. And he appears to be the beleaguered employee/Parent/Straight Man of the group.
I.E. The Donald Duck in his titular magazine and the old Carl Barks Comics that I grew up with and holds a special place in my heart.
Just… if I may use some outdated internet slang…. All the feels.
A/N: Happy new years everyone! Here’s to a new beginning.
Request: They try to explain the birds and the bees.
Age 13: You were idly flipping through some old Donald Duck magazines in the bunker, Dean and Sam off doing god knows what. Without looking, you reached for the next magazine, but upon further inspection, you realized that this was definitely not Donald duck. Unless he’d had a boob-job.
You squealed and threw the magazine away as if it had burnt you, and pointedly didn’t look in it’s direction as Sam and Dean came storming into the room.
“What’s going on?” Sam demanded, gun out and ready.
“She’s naked,” you said dumbfounded and pointed at the magazine on the ground.
“Oh shit. It’s my porn,” Dean said, cheeks flushing beet red.
“Like, the sex thing?” you asked, scrambling further up your bed to put more distance between you and the offending porn.
Dean sighed, picked up the magazine and put it in the pocked of his jeans. “Yes, the sex thing.” He then looked to Sam. “Is it time for ‘the talk’ Sammy?” Sam nodded in return and ran a hand through his hair.
“I guess so.”
“What talk?” you asked, looking between your brothers, apprehension clear in your eyes.
“The birds and the bees.” Dean flicked his brother’s ear at his vague explanation.
“The sex talk,” your eldest brother confirmed.
“Oh. What if I don’t want to have it?” They both shrugged and sat down on either side of you on the bed.
“Then it’s more of a punishment than a lesson,” Sam said.
“No shit,” you grumbled. “But I already know most of it anyways.”
“Y-you what?” Dean stammered, mouth hanging open and eyes wide. When you looked at Sam, the expression was mirrored on his face.
“What, did you think I was a dumbass or something? There’s a thing called the internet,” you deadpanned. You picked up your cartoon again and kept reading as your brothers got their shit together.
“We should, um, talk about it, ah, anyways,” Sam spluttered, gently picking the magazine from your hands and placing it on the floor. “Right, Dean?” Dean nodded numbly.
“Do you want us to show you the porn?” he asked instead, and both you and Sam groaned.
“I might send Dean out at some point,” Sam stage-whispered to you, earning him and indignant ‘hey!’ and a slap on the arm.
“C’mon guys, can we just do this?” Just as Sam opened his mouth, there was a flutter of wings.
“Hey Cas,” you sighed at the angel.
“Hello. I feel a certain awkwardness hanging in the air,” he observed, brows furrowed in their usual style.
“We’re giving Y/N ‘the talk’,” Dean said, complete with quotation marks.
“What is that?” The angel asked in return, as he sat down gingerly on the edge of the bed.
“Guess we’re giving him the talk too,” Sam piped up.
“Guess so. I’m going to kick this off. So when two people love each other very much-“ Dean began, but you cut him off by hitting him with a pillow square in the face.
“Cut the crap and give me the un-edited version,” you snapped as you sunk back against your bed once again.
“A guy has a penis, a girl has a vagina, if you stick the dick in the vagina without a condom, you get pregnant. If you put the condom on, you don’t get pregnant, and it’s just hella good,” Dean rushed out, a blissed expression on his face.
“Wow, that was… crude,” Sam intervened.
“But understandable. I get the big picture here. Wrap your dummy in gummy or get a child. Got it.” You send Dean and Sam a thumbs up.
“What about you Cas?” you asked.
“That was a very rude description of intercourse.”
“It’s Dean. Of course it was rude,” Sam said. “I’m just surprised he said penis and vagina instead of cock and pussy.”
Dean gasped, mock offended. “I would never! I have manners, Sammy!”
Oh, my god, I completely forgot about this. I was just cleaning my desk and suddenly found it again. It’s a poster from the Dutch Donald Duck magazine, my sister always reads those, but she gave the poster to me.
“Ontmoet de helden van Big Hero 6” (Meet the heroes of Big Hero 6)