trans man hawke headcanons


(originally intended to be specific to my hawke but ur welcome to reblog & tag ur own hawke/add ur own headcanons the more the merrier)

  • bethany is the first person hawke tells, when it’s just the two of them, and she helps him cut his hair. it’s an utter disaster and when she sees, leandra immediately flies into action to save the terrible haircut while malcolm watches and laughs.
  • hawke waits a while to tell the rest of his family because he’s so nervous. he knows his parents love him but what if they only love him as a girl? bethany holds his hand under the table while he tells them, and hugs him right after. it’s still scary, but she helps.
  • malcolm understands at once, but leandra has never come across this before. it takes her a long time to stop ‘mourning her daughter’ and realise she is hurting her son.
  • when carver discovers he isn’t the only hawke son, he locks himself in his room. he emerges rather sheepishly several hours later and offers some of his clothes to hawke for him to try out.
  • he asks people to call him ‘hawke’ because he knows he wants to change his name before he knows what he wants to change it to. ‘hawke’ is an easy middle ground, and it sticks.
  • there’s a gaggle of kids who give hawke a hard time when he goes into town, laughing at his short hair and his boy’s clothes. hawke grits his teeth and ignores them, but he comes home crying more than once. carver disappears one day and returns with a split lip and a grin. the kids don’t bother hawke again.
  • malcolm stumbles over pronouns at first, and hawke is too nervous to correct him. but bethany is always there to step in and gently remind their father for him, and soon malcolm is always getting it right.
  • leandra doesn’t remember so well, and finally hawke ends up crying when she forgets and misgenders him yet again. malcolm finds his son out in the barn and sits with him, tells hawke how brave he is, how proud they are of him, how much they both love him. when they come back inside, leandra cries her way through an apology and promises to do better.
  • the family has to move once because a man deliberately misgenders hawke and bethany sets his trousers on fire. their parents are angry at her for putting herself in danger, but her brothers stand up for her. leandra can’t help thinking this is the closest she’s ever seen the siblings.
  • the first time hawke hears leandra refer to him as ‘my son’ to someone, he can’t stop smiling all day.
  • helping hawke choose a new name becomes something of a family ritual while preparing for dinner, batting names around the room. bethany picks names from romance novels, carver suggests the names of his heroes, and malcolm invents outrageously long and ridiculous names that invariably involve terrible puns.
  • leandra is upset at the thought of hawke changing his name - they named him after malcolm’s mother - but eventually even she joins in, drawing on family naming traditions in her suggestions.
  • sometimes hawke worries whether it was worth putting his family through all this trouble, changing his relationship with them for ever. but then bethany calls him her brother, or leandra calls him her son, or someone refers to ‘the hawke boys’, and it just feels so right and he feels warm inside, all over again.

Mother: discourages my dreams, tells me I should just stick to mainstream shit and go to Japan after college and work there
??? I’m sure that would work for many people, but if we’re in the financial situation where it’s possible for me to study abroad in what should be my last year of high school, I feel as though I should test the waters to make sure I’m not hanging all my dreams up on something I’m not compatible with. Also, there’s no way in hell that I’m staying where I am for any more time than I need to.


Today was the first time I took out my spring boots, and I don’t want to take them off ehhhhh

You ever wish you could just disappear???? If I could just walk out my front door and not come back I would

time to dump all those new tags ; excuse moi

I made extra on a whim ohoho

My mother called me today asking about Berlin (I’m visiting for Queer Easter, if anyone wants to show me around town or let me stay at their place, message me!), and that she couldn’t find my flight (because she searched LJ-Berlin not Venice-Berlin) and I instantly wanted to end the conversation because she did her “control everything” act. Anyway, she was upset about me being gone for Easter and she went on with asking me how is she supposed to tell my father I won’t be in town for Easter (I never visit my parents on Easter, I couldn’t care less about it, and the fact she used my father in our conversation means she must really hate that I’m going travelling, because she always uses him as a way to threaten me or make me insecure) and than I said I’m on low energy and that I’m not in the mood for a talk. Than she asked me how come, as I don’t have a job and only sit around at home, that I surely must have some energy and I said Yeah, I’m giving that energy to this talk. Than she started crying and told me I should behave nicer and ended the conversation. 

So I have grown/am growing up in a Christian family with conservative views on basically everything, and I don’t know if it’s the entertainment business or just my morals pushing me along, but I really don’t see anything wrong with being gay or lesbian. I have a couple of really good friends that are bi/non-gender specific, and I love them. 

I think the biggest thing that I can’t stand from other Christians is the whole argument of ‘hating the sin’ but 'loving the person.’ If you hate someone’s actions, you hate them. It’s just that simple. And in the Bible, God says that hating the person is just as bad as murder. 

I choose to love everyone, no matter what they’ve done, or who they love. 

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy and does not boast.

It keeps no records of wrong. 

God is love.

A story for glintglimmergleam:

After my first few days of kindergarten, my mother says to me “So, honey, who are the other girls in your class?”

I tell her “Nari (Korean), Vivian (Taiwanese), Chanel (Black), and Zeynep (Turkish).” 

My mother goes “Rachel, there are more than just four other girls in your class.”

And I go “Yeah, but the others all have blonde hair and I can’t tell them apart.”

benefits of being gay: your host parents suspect nothing when you tell them you’re staying at your “friend” maggie’s kollegium on Friday night as opposed to trying to take the trains back at 4 am when in actuality you’re going out to a lesbian bar and staying the night with your girlfriend haaaaaaa