don't-know-how-i-feel-about-this-one

hello everyone

it is raining and the lights are shining off the pavement everywhere. i jus had my last class period of one of the best classes i have ever had, i recited one of my favorite poems by @thewastedgeneration and my professor cried after i was done, my professor who i love very much, and then after class i went to talk to her about how much i love her class & we both cried. i have new friends who make me feel like there are lights turning on in dark houses, i am going to dinner with my adopted family from work, i have a shit ton of essays to do in the next week but i feel more on top of it than i have all quarter. i am out of a relationship that was causing me pain, i am finding so many people who are beautiful in everything they do. i want to scream it all out. yesterday is the worst i have felt in a very long time and yet i made it to today. and. and wow how amazing is that? i’m incoherent right now cold and wet and desperately needing a glass of water but wow i am not dead yet. i wrote a poem for the first time in a long time. it’s raining and for once i am not cold

How am I feeling?

I have some many things in my head and so many feelings in heart. I don’t have the words to explain, I feel sad, mad, disappointed and alone.

I feel like no one cares about me, not even my own family, I don’t have friends just people I know and sometimes I hang out with, I don’t think I matter to them, they don’t call or ask how am I doing.

When I meet someone we star having a very nice conversation but as time pass they realized how a waste of time I am.

I’m losing the interest in things that I used to like; all I want to do is sleep all day. I want to cry but is so hard when the tears won’t come out. I feel like I’m worthless and useless.

My relationship with my dad is bad; he makes me feel like garbage. He calls me fat, ugly, piece of shit and bad daughter. He is cheating on my mom, I have evidence which I showed to him and he denied everything and blamed me on trying to ruin his marriage with my mom, people think he is a saint and a very nice and loving husband and father but he is not. My mom is suffering because of him and I hate to see her like this, it breaks my heart.

I don’t want to feel like this anymore, I want to die but I can’t really do it, I think deep down in me there’s still hope. I’m hoping for things to get better but I’m not actually doing anything about so I guess everything will stay the same or get worse.

This has been a really shitty year, I thought this was going to be the year in which I’d found out about who I really am, a year full of joy and accomplishment but it was the opposite, this year was full of failure and pain.

I just don’t really know what to do or who to talk to; I’m going to do what I always do: pretend that everything is fine.

I never wanted something safe
I wanted something of a storm
With raging feelings and hands that can’t keep off each other
I never wanted quite nights talking about our favorite movies
I wanted spontaneous visits and our bodies intertwined.
I didn’t want somber apologies
I wanted you to make sure I treated you right
I wanted you to fight for me,
I never wanted you to leave me behind
I needed something that made my insides combust with what felt like a universe exploding in me
—  I needed: Carol Shlyakhova(strong-but-breakable)
4

#20 Pokemon Go

preview + code

After a good response to making the menu, I went ahead and made a theme to go with it! I hope it came out alright? I tried to make it function as similar to the app as possible.

Basic features:

  • 400px posts
  • popup menus (main navigation and about)
  • 4 custom links
  • 15 custom colors
  • optional full sized background image
  • background and about/sidear image

Other features:

  • transfer button is the reblog button
  • pokeball menu
  • hp bar (type in the percentage to change it)
  • team selection (whichever team you pick, the logo will appear in the about popup)

icon from this post

team logos from here

Likes/reblogs are always appreciated and please let me know if you run into any bugs!