don't-belong-here

“It was everyday that he looked at himself in the mirror. After every morning he woke up and showered. He looked at it as he combed it back, smiling, and styled it with a little bit of gel to hold it in place. He looked at it every time he flexed in the mirror and admired himself and whispering "Nice”, jumping out of his skin when he saw the raised brow of his lover behind him in his reflection. He looked at it everyday and it never bothered him.
Until now.

Every morning he saw his hair, as he did everyday, with the addition of a premature grey streak running from one side of his forehead across the top of his head. He stopped smiling as he combed it back, he stopped his funny, egotistical ritual of flexing and self admiration, and he certainly didn’t believe anything positive said about it. His lover could say he looked fine until he was blue in the face, but it didn’t change the man’s opinion.

“I’m greying, Shepard,” he sighed, his voice ringing a defeated tone. “I’m not even pushing forty yet and I look like I’m fifty. Or I sure as hell feel it, at least.” he mumbled.

Behind him the commander sighed, wrapping his arms around the major’s waist and resting his chin on their shoulder. Shepard looked into the mirror along with Kaidan, but the biotic kept his gaze to his hands that were clutching to the sides of the sink.

“We’re soldiers, Kaidan,” Shepard’s voice was rough, as it always was in the morning. What was usually comforting to hear did nothing to calm the man’s frayed nerves.

“Old soldiers, you mean.”

“Stop it.” Now there was a demanding tone to the voice, one that he only used on duty. It wasn’t just his voice, it wasn’t just Shepard. It was Commander Shepard.

The commander made Kaidan turn around and face him, arms still held around his waist with their eyes burning into his. He didn’t dare look away, no matter how much he wanted to.

“Being a soldier takes a lot out of anyone. The stress, the hurt, the guilt, it takes its toll. Especially the stress,” Shepard started, his voice starting out firm but softening as he continued on. “And it has a lot to do with position. You’re a Specre, Kaidan, you work with the Council all day. Hell, I’m surprised they haven’t caused you to turn grey sooner!” Shepard’s laugh was the only thing to bring a smile to Kaidan’s lips, and even if the major tried to fight it off, he’d be unsuccessful.

“It doesn’t make you ‘look like you’re fifty’, Kaidan. If anything it’s a show of how dedicated you are to your work, and that’s impressive in and of itself.” With that, Shepard pressed a small kiss to the side of Kaidan’s mouth and left the major to finish his morning routine, but not without stopping at the doorway to give a once over before grinning slightly.

“Besides, it suits you.”

Kaidan just scoffed and rolled his eyes before smiling again.

Now as he turned and looked into the mirror, that smile didn’t fade.“
——

I saw a drawing of Kaidan with greying hair so I wrote this.
Weeeee

I honestly have no desire to ever visit New York, or anywhere east for that matter. I rather visit somewhere BEAUTIFUL, somewhere that has hardly any people. I wanna see gorgeous beaches, and waterfalls. Green hills and giant trees. I don’t want to explore the United States, I wanna take myself out of this country and see something with REAL beauty. Something that hasn’t been painted with concrete, and greed.