What They're Like With Your Child (Kissed By The Baddest Bidder Headcanon)
Tolerant. He's incredibly tired, but you can't help but feel like he still looks so perfect. You're child, who is still an infant, is cradled in his arm. Slim pale fingers holding the bottle for him to drink from. "Mommy is tired, so I'll have to do for now."
Affectionate. He keeps pressing kisses to your two year old daughters face. Though it's clear she's quite annoyed that someone is coming in between her and her favorite cartoon. He doesn't seem to understand, until she pushes him away. "I'm sorry, I just can't help it when you look so cute."
Careful. He treats her how he treats you, with the utmost care. His hand is soft, and feels like a feather as it brushes against her forehead. He presses a soft kiss to he forehead. "It looks like you have a fever, let me get your mother."
Sweet. Though family members and friends held doubts about his ability to nurture effectively, you always knew he would be brilliant. And you were right, it's the dead of night and your son is cradled in his arms as he puts him to sleep. "Don't wake Mommy up."
Childish. Sometimes you swear, it's like you have two children, not one. You've made dinner, and it's ordinary to see your son make a mess, his hands covered in carrot sauce. Your husband laughs, hardly even recognizing his own face has rice on it. "Will you clean it off for me, my beloved wife?"
<b>Beca:</b> do not fight beca mitchell. she is 5 feet of pure rage and she will rip you to shreds. if you somehow managed to get the upper hand, her friends will come after you and they're even scarier.<p/><b>Chloe:</b> no. god no. have you SEEN her biceps? why would you even want to fight her? she's a precious angel who can do no wrong<p/><b>Aubrey:</b> don't do it. she'll win, because she ALWAYS wins, and if she starts to lose she'll throw up on you and no one wants that<p/><b>Lilly:</b> unless you have a death wish, leave her alone. in fact, i wouldn't go within 10 feet of her on a good day<p/><b>Cynthia Rose:</b> you might win, but only if you're female, and even then maybe not<p/><b>Stacie:</b> the fight will turn into sex. stay away unless you're into that<p/><b>Emily:</b> you'd win, but why would you want to? she's a precious cinnamon roll. don't hurt her<p/><b>Fat Amy:</b> you would lose within 5 seconds. amy is large and in charge and has years of experience with wrestling crocodiles and other australian wildlife.<p/><b>Flo:</b> this woman is hardened by life's many challenges and would not hesitate to kill you<p/><b>Jessica & Ashley:</b> you might be able to beat them separately, but they tag team and it makes things kind of hard. besides, which one is which?<p/><b>Bumper:</b> fucking fight him. he'll go down in seconds. beat the shit out of him. curb stomp his ass. amy won't even care.<p/><b>Jesse:</b> you might be able to win. he's kind of an idiot sometimes<p/><b>Benji:</b> don't fight benji! benji is a sweetheart. he would lose and feel really bad and everyone would hate you<p/><b>Unicycle:</b> this man is 90% muscle. you would lose just by looking at him<p/><b>Donald:</b> you would win. he's a pushover<p/><b>Kommissar:</b> you're insane if you would willingly fight her. she's a goddess. she would beat you so badly your own mother wouldn't even recognize you. seriously, this is a 6 ft tall german woman. are you crazy?<p/><b>Pieter:</b> despite being absolutely ripped, pieter is secretly a sweetie pie and wouldn't hurt a fly unless he had a real reason to. you would feel bad for fighting him. also, if you punched him in the stomach you would probably break your own hand on his rock hard abs, so no one really wins here<p/><b>John & Gail:</b> do the world a favor and beat the shit out of both of these idiots. they're old and weak and don't stand a chance<p/><b>The Green Bay Packers:</b> if you like getting severe brain damage and tons of broken bones, go for it<p/></p>