don't use the word gay like that

literally the world hates lesbians so much that lesbians hate themselves and don’t want to use the word lesbian so like

get on that tumblr

anonymous asked:

Hey, just wondering; why do you favour Gay and Trans headcanons over normal ones? Like I only see gay stuff and it's feeling a little... I don't want to say heterophobic but you know what I mean?

Buddy, I can see you’re trying to be nice so I’m gonna word this as nicely as I possibly can to hopefully teach you rather than all out call you out.

First things first; please don’t use ‘normal’ to say cis/het. That implies that the rest of us aren’t normal, when being anything other than cis/het is perfectly okay and normal.

Now to answer your question. In a world where everything is ‘straight until told otherwise’, can you blame us for wanting to imagine our favourite characters are just as gay as we are? And we like to share that with each other, because this is a safe area where we can do so. You might say ‘but it’s everywhere on tumblr! It’s not fair!’ But like….. it’s not everywhere EVERYWHERE ELSE.

Truthfully I’m not biased toward any headcanons through this blog, I try to remain neutral on every headcanon I receive (unless it’s something disgusting and horrible like Blake being a TERF or something) but if people want to celebrate Gay or Trans Blake then you’re damn right I’ll celebrate with them because it’s nice to see people are able to imagine her as they want and share those thoughts.

TL;DR I don’t favour one over the other, but when pretty much any headcanon I receive that doesn’t specify either of those things is Auto assumed straight/cis I like to share the other headcanons as much as possible.

let it be... explained
  • two of us: heartbreakingly gay
  • dig a pony: still gay
  • across the universe: john knows a lot of words
  • i me mine: 😒💸
  • dig it: but what is like a rolling stone and a rolling stone and a rolling stone and the fbi and the cia and the bbc and b b king and
  • let it be: a nicer way of saying shut up and mind your own business
  • maggie mae: not the one by rod stewart
  • i've got a feeling: me too guys
  • one after 909: one before 911
  • the long and winding road: i guess it's in the country
  • for you blue: ain't he sweet, i see him walking down the street, i ask you very confidentially, ain't george sweet
  • get back: paul bullies yoko, john harmoniezes

So like RE: the queer slur discourse

Maybe this is just my personal experience but queer isn’t really a word that’s used in this country? Like yeah people know what it means but it’s not the go-to word for bigots to throw around. Whereas I probably hear gay used as an insult about five times a day. Growing up, I knew being gay was ‘a bad thing’ before I even knew what it meant. I remember being called gay when I was eight years old cause I hugged my friend and vehemently denying it. I didn’t know why, just that being gay was the worst thing you could be.

Lesbian was even worse. This sounds awful but tbh the word still makes my skin crawl. I’ve had people hiss lesbian at me on the street, a group of cis guys follow me shouting lesbian. In high school there were people in my class who refused to touch me or use my actual name and would just call me 'The Lesbian’ to my face. It’s a word that still creates a visceral reaction in me.

Strangely at the time, when I was still discovering my trans identity and identified as wlw I preferred to use the word d*ke as my identifier. It was a word I had only ever heard used by other wlw. As far as I was concerned it was Our word, a word that made me feel part of a community and less alone in those horrible teenage years. I don’t know how much of this experience is undermined now by the fact I’m trans but I think it still says something.

And at least in my experience, queer feels very much the same way. It is the word which unifies and connects me with the community, both on and offline. It is a word I see pretty much exclusively used by lgbt people and it’s also a hell of a lot easier than saying I’m a pansexual trans person.

I don’t doubt it is also used as a slur and I would never want to use it as a label for someone who doesn’t want it applied to them. I’m just curious to see how my experience fits in with other people’s?

I think that post is a really good illustration of why words like wlw / sapphic / etc. are good for bi women and bad for lesbians.
Op telling her boyfriend “I’m so gay”, then a ‘pansexual’ dismissing replies like “You’re not gay” and “This is dangerous for lesbians” with “op is bi so shut the fuck up maybe?” Then another bi woman saying she’s gay because she experiences ‘same-gender attraction’ just like us!, and “I will proudly call myself the gayest gay to have ever gayed because I am attracted to men & women”, immediately followed by “Lesbophobia and biphobia: one is not inherently worse than the other”

I feel like the concept of a “wlw community” encourages bi women to assume we’re all more or less the same under our cute umbrella term, which means our words (gay, femme, sapphic…) are rightfully theirs too, and our experiences of oppression are comparable and it would be ridiculous to say one is inherently worse than the other, even when they’re in a straight relationship. Issues that specifically affect lesbians (or that affect lesbians disproportionately more than bi women) become “wlw issues” so that bi women can claim some of our oppression. Especially the ones that have boyfriends, who really love to call themselves wlw as a way to distance themselves from their straight privilege by pretending they have much more in common with lesbians than they actually do (which is why they get so enraged when we call them mlw.)

It allows them to portray lesbophobia and biphobia as equally harmful, “horizontal aggression”, “annoying infighting in the wlw community” rather than “lesbians being fed up with bi women who hurt us from the safety of their privileged, society-approved relationships and use their lesbophobia to bond and ingratiate themselves with men.”
(Any men. Their boyfriends of course, but also gay men - I’ve seen bi women bond with gay men over their shared contempt for lesbians - and transwomen - it’s so great to be bisexual and therefore be able to call yourself a lesbian and be automatically praised as one of the Good Lesbians! What a cool trick if you want to feel superior to & attack the Bad Lesbians with no consequences!)

I feel like so many bi women have this “compulsory wlw” mentality, according to which we should all be okay with shared words, shared communities, shared oppression, because we’re all the same, we all experience “same-gender attraction”, we’re all wlw. It doesn’t hurt them so they only see the positive aspects of it, and perceive lesbians as inexplicably mean and exclusionary for being reluctant to erase the specific lesbian context of our experiences and words.

anonymous asked:

Why is queer a slur??

because… it.. is..? it’s a word that originally meant “strange” or “weird” but was re-purposed to pejoratively refer to gay men (and to an extension the LGBT community). it’s still used as a pejorative against many LGBT people and just because it’s been reclaimed by some LGBT people doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a slur, and many LGBT people, myself included, really don’t like the word.

The course of True Love (or words to that extent...)

I get it. I do, oh goodness do I ever. I’ve been watching tv for a really long time. I remember watching tv back when the lesbian was a predator, filling me with fear when I was older and started to have these feelings. Am I like the women on TV? Am I something to be reviled and scared of? (Spoiler alert - no! Well yes, but not because I’m gay 😏). It’s exhausting to see representations of yourself killed, sacrificed, written off, disrespected and dismissed. It really fucking is. Even when you think we’ve grown past it as a society, even when you trust your writers enough to think they’re too good, to smart, too invested to fall into the same trap - it still smarts when we find out our trust was misplaced (looking at you Sally Wainwright 😑). Actually, strike that - it really fucking hurts when you find out your trust was misplaced. It’s like a betrayal of a loved one - because on certain shows you enter into a contract, an understanding of what you’re watching and what you’re expecting and when you’re betrayed, you’re allowed to feel anger and pain. So when I saw the Autumn trailer for Holby, I had the same, familiar sinking feeling in my guts that we had been done dirty (as the youth say). Except here’s the difference: 1) Holby is a soap (and a damn soapy one while we’re at it). For Berena to have gone smoothly and effortlessly would’ve been dishonest to what the show is and to what (for some) the coming out process is. No one on Holby is happy (and if they are, it damn sure isn’t for long). Berena are getting a lot of drama. A lot of it looks like the same episode, so I don’t know how spread out it’ll be, but they’re getting a LOT of drama, which means they’re just like everyone else in the hospital (i.e. - miserable) 2) Coming out is/can be painful, messy, awkward, emotional etc. It’s not that it gets harder the older you are, it just gets harder the more settled you are. If you have this image of who you are your whole life, everyone knows you as this person and suddenly you are no longer this person, your entire view of the world changes and you’re re-examining everything about yourself (Am I wearing tartan/plaid because I’m gay? Because it’s cute? Because I have an affinity for Scotland?) (Yes, I’m aware tartan and plaid are different 🤓). Serena’s coming out is bound to be messy and filled with mistakes! She’s Serena Campbell, the embodiment of elegance in the surgery, hot mess in the halls - it’s why we love her! Bernie’s coming out was a literal bomb explosion of devastation, we can’t expect anything different from Serena. As hard as it is to accept, she’s bound to make this as dramatic and as messy as possible because in the end she’s a character on a soap opera and drama and mess make for engaging, riveting entertainment. 3) Actors, show runners, writers, publications and production staff all have embargoes about what they can and can’t talk about. No matter how off the cuff it appears, it’s all fairly well-measured. I’m not being jaded, it’s just how it is. That said, I trust Catherine Russell when she says it’s a roller coaster. I trust her not to do us dirty as a fandom. I trust her because she’s a shrewd actress who knows this storyline is going to get some notice. Also - as it’s been pointed out, Jemma Redgrave will be featured in Nov/Dec’s Diva magazine. So there’s definitely something big brewing for Berena. I can’t imagine Diva’d pre-plan a feature for an actress who was just left for a man before her same-sex sapphic angst-fest even started. I understand why some people have to bail out - it’s fucking exhausting to watch yourself die or disappear, it really and truly is. I support whatever you need to and want to do for your own self-preservation. You all have been amazingly warm, welcoming and so lovely and I am thankful you’ve made this ship so much fun! I hope should this drama simmer down, you come back to us (and bring your fics ‘cause some of you are so, so talented). I know it seems unfounded but I have hope in the good ship Berena (and I don’t ever have hope in anything!). I’m in it for the long-haul due to an unexplainable feeling of trust that this show won’t do us wrong (at least not yet - I mean, not until they get together and one of them eventually gets tempted to stray, or transferred to another hospital, or deployed back overseas, or promoted over the other, or gets sick and dies when the actresses decides not to renew their contract).

Originally posted by ridiculouslyoverobsessed