Niall’s nervous. His hands are a bit shaky and sweaty, which he hides by shoving them into the pocket of his rust-orange jacket, and his insides are an absolute mess.
He wasn’t gonna do this. He wasn’t gonna make it a big thing, him coming to see Harry perform with his little entourage- He wasn’t gonna make Harry worry and fret about Niall being there, about giving Niall and his friends the perks, about making sure that everyone is well taken care of – in fact, he was literally just going to sit up in the nosebleeds and then shoot him a text after to tell him he’s around- Honestly, he was.
And yet here is. Back stage. In the hallway between dressing rooms and loos. His mates are all around, talking to members of Harry’s team, and Lou’s down at the end of the hallway talking to Sarah and fretting over her hair – and it all feels very…surreal. Feels like old times. Feels like he should be getting ready to sling a guitar over his shoulder; like when the light goes on for the stage and the curtain goes down, that he should be going out there with Harry – like he used to.
Except that that’s not what this is. He’s not here to be on stage, he’s here to watch Harry do what he does best and he’s excited. But he’s also nervous; not for Harry, but rather…for himself.
A hand wraps around his wrist, tugs his hand out of his pocket and then pulls him backwards. He glances over his shoulder as he all but stumbles after Harry – knew it was Harry from the minute his fingers touched his pulse – back down the hallway to his dressing room. A quicker glance back over his shoulder in the other direction tells him that nobody notices that he’s just disappeared, and a smirk settles across his lips. (They will, though. They’ll notice – and then they’ll notice that Harry is nowhere to be found either, and they’ll know. They know, but Niall doesn’t care.)
And, well- Now it really does feel surreal, feel like old times. He feels like he’s 19 again. Feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest.
Harry’s hands are on him the second the lock clicks on the door. He pushes Niall up against the door, one hand on his hip whilst the other clutches at the back of Niall’s neck. He slips one knee between Niall’s thighs, presses the length of his body against Niall’s. And Niall expects a kiss, expects Harry to capture his lips and snog him senseless – but he doesn’t. Instead, he just…stares and gazes. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Niall breathes.
Niall's vulnerability in his lyrics means more to me bc he doesn't flaunt that side of himself to the world. It's like his deep hidden feelings are a secret we get to share bc of his songs. I don't know if we'll ever know for sure which ones are personal or concepts bc I wouldn't expect him to reveal that fully. Or want him to tbh. But it's like he doesn't make a show of his emotions bc he doesn't make a show of anything. So it's *real* when it happens. Am I making sense at all??