don't talk to me like i'm an idiot

avengers as john mulaney quotes
  • steve rogers: All my money is in a savings account. Tony has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.
  • tony stark: I was once on the phone with blockbuster video, which is a very old-fashioned sentence. That's like when Steve would be like, "We'd all go play jacks by the soda fountain," and you're like, "Nobody knows what you're talking about , you idiot."
  • clint barton: It's fun to be married. I've never been supervised before. I'm supervised! My wife studies what I do, like an anthropologist. She'll be like: "Sometimes, he will watch a movie on TV even though he already owns that movie on DVD. Pointing this out confuses and upsets him."
  • bruce banner: In terms of instant relief, cancelling plans is like heroin.
  • natasha romanoff: I'll keep my emotions right here, and then one day, I'll die.
  • thor: Ah...numbers. The letters of math.
  • sam wilson: Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don't care for that shit at all.
  • bucky barnes: Here's how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the '30s: As long as you weren't there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.
  • scott lang: it's 100% easier not to do things than to do them.
  • peter parker: I have had a very long day. I am very small and I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.
  • t'challa: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
  • Naruto: So, like, ever since Hinata confessed to me, people have been like- ya know
  • Sasuke: Hn
  • Naruto: And I'm just- I don't, like, I can't- ya know
  • Naruto: But I should, right? There's no reason I shouldn't, uh, ya kn-
  • Sasuke: Dobe, if you say "ya know" one more time
  • Naruto: I can't help it, I'm just so, so, ya know!
  • Sasuke: Why are you talking to me about this, idiot?
  • Naruto: You're the only one who hasn't said anything, ya know. Sakura-chan, Kakashi, Ino, Iruka, even Kiba have been on my case non-stop.
  • Sasuke: It's your life. Your choice. Do what you want. It makes no difference to me.
  • Naruto: But, but Sasuke, I'm just so... Ya know.
  • Sasuke: Fine, usuratonkachi. We'll talk.
  • Sasuke: Do you think she's pretty?
  • Naruto: Eto... *squints* I guess so.
  • Naruto: Actually, now that you mention it, Hinata's kind of a looker, huh
  • Naruto: But she's still not as pretty as- *glances over* Uh, other people.
  • Sasuke: Like who? Sakura?
  • Naruto: Yeah, Sakura-chan and... Someone else
  • Sasuke: ...
  • Sasuke: So the problem is that you have feelings for another person
  • Naruto: *blushes* Um... I guess, but I doubt you- I mean, this other person will ever, ya know, feel the same way, so I should just
  • Sasuke: Have you said anything?
  • Naruto: Well, no
  • Naruto: But after everything that happened, you- I mean, this person should get it by now, and if y- they don't, that probably means it's one-sided. Right?
  • Sasuke: Maybe
  • Naruto: Oh
  • Sasuke: Unless I -I mean, this 'other person' was thinking the same way as you
  • Naruto: Really? You Were?
  • Sasuke: Were what? I'm talking about this mysterious 'other person' who's apparently prettier than Hyuuga Hinata, which is -mmmphmm!
  • Sasuke: What was that, you moron?
  • Naruto: It's called a kiss, teme.
  • Naruto: Something two people do when they like each other.
  • Sasuke: ...
  • Sasuke: I'm not familiar with the concept.
  • Sasuke: Maybe you should show me again.
🎶🎶When You Collect Records🎶🎶
  • Hipster: *moves dusty old boxes out of the way* Whoa, an old record player. It looks like it's in working order too! *runs outside*
  • Hipster: Yo, dad!
  • Dad: What?
  • Hipster: We're getting rid of all of poppop's stuff, right?
  • Dad: There's something you want, isn't there?
  • Hipster: There's this old stereo record player in the attic.
  • Dad: What do you need a record player for?
  • Hipster: My record collection.
  • Dad: I didn't even know they still made those things. Can't you just listen to music on your phone?
  • Hipster: Dad, there's a big difference between listening to music digitally and on record.
  • Dad: Fine, I don't wanna get into it with you right now. You can take the record player. You just have to get someone else to take it to your place for you. My truck's full.
  • Hipster: Thanks dad! *smooches dad on the cheek*
  • *later at hipster's apartment*
  • Friend: So, like Patch Adams ends with Patch Adams half-naked in front of a ton of people. I don't know if it was meant to be funny or like a weird sex thing, but like the movie was just a deeply disturbing character study. I can't stop thinking about it.
  • Hipster: That sounds boring. *unlocks door to apartment* Ta-da! Here it is! My new record player!
  • Friend: New? Looks fucking old to me, dude.
  • Hipster: Well, it is old. That's the appeal. And we're going to listen to the new Sufjan record on it.
  • Friend: Is that actually how you say Sufjan? Apparently, I've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time.
  • Hipster: Well, you won't after this record. There's an entire track where he just says his name for four minutes. It's amazing. *plays records*
  • Record Player: *coughs* Hello. Hello! Where am I? Doctor? Hello! Why is it so dark...............................Can I breathe? I can't breath. Oh god, I'm not breathing! Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! I.....................................
  • Hipster: Uh, that's not Sufjan.
  • Friend: It totally isn't. Is it some guest vocalist? I like the new direction he's going in. No instruments or singing, and long stretches of silence. Very experimental.
  • Hipster: *stops record player* I think maybe we should do something else for now.
  • Friend: Fucking lame! I wanted to listen to more Sufjan.
  • *days later at the record store*
  • Hipster: Yo, I think the Sufjan Stevens record I bought from here might be some kind of mispress.
  • Store Clerk: Really? It's a pretty major album. I doubt there'd just be a mispress like that.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but listen to it. It's not Sufjan at all. It's some girl talking.
  • *hipster and clerk listen to a completely normal Sufjan Stevens album together*
  • Store Clerk: What are you talking about? This is definitely Sufjan Stevens.
  • Hipster: Okay, but it wasn't like that when I listened to it at home! I even listened to it with my friend and he heard the same thing!
  • Store Clerk: Maybe there's something wrong with your record player.
  • Hipster: Hmm, maybe there is.
  • *back at the apartment*
  • Hipster: *turns on record player and just listens*
  • Record Player: ...I'm awake again. Why did I black out? Did I even black out? God, I'm not breathing, but it doesn't matter. Why don't I need to breathe? Am I even alive?
  • Hipster: Can you hear me?
  • Record Player: Doctor. Doctor! DOCTOR! Why can't I move? Why can't I feel anything. Keep yourself together. It'll all make sense soon. Calm down. Just breathe deeply. Fuck, I can't breathe! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I CAN'T BREATHE! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! HELP! HELP ME, PLEASE! I'M STUCK! I CAN'T MOVE! PLEASE HELP ME!
  • Hipster: *turns off record player* It's just a recording, I bet. I can't believe I talked to it like an idiot... *nervously turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: I blacked out again. I blacked out. For how long? Is there even time here? Hell. This is hell, right? Did I go to hell.........................................
  • Hipster: *listens to the record player for hours*
  • Record Player: Negative 6893 bottles of wine on the wall! Negative 6893 bottles of wine! Take one down, pass it around, Negative 6894 bottles of wine on the wall... fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
  • Hipster: *keeps listening*
  • Record Player: Soul of Christ, make me holy, Body of Christ, be my salvation. God, please forgive me. I'm sorry for all of my sins. Please free me. I'm so sorry. Please. Please. Please.
  • Hipster: *still listening*
  • Record Player: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! SHITTY DOCTOR! FUCK YOU! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! *sobs intensely* FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK EVERYTHING! Please just let me go.
  • Hipster: *nervously walks up to record player and lightly taps on it*
  • Record Player: ...A knock. A KNOCK! PLEASE HELP ME! I'M STUCK! PLEASE! *record player begins shake violently*
  • Hipster: *backs away in fear*
  • Hipster: *unplugs record player*
  • Hipster: *gets hammer from the closet and begins to break apart record player*
  • Record Player: *drips red*
  • Hipster: W-What? *cracks front of record player open*
  • *rotting viscera falls from the record player*
  • Hipster: O-Oh... *stuffs viscera back into the record player and duct tapes over it*
  • Hipster: *turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: ...I can feel. It hurts. Why does it hurt now? Why does it hurt? Why? Why? Why? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? *spurts blood through it speakers and begins to gurgle*
  • Record Player: *hops forward* Please just let me go. Please... please. I'll do anything. I just want to see you again. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I asked for. I'm so sorry. *hops forward again and comes unplugged*
  • Record Player: *tips over, bleeding heavily onto the carpet*
  • Hipster: *silently cleans up the mess*
  • *some time later*
  • Hipster: *calls dad* Hey, dad. Oh, nothing. Uh, I just need to borrow your truck, If not tonight sometime this week. I just need to get rid of something. No, no, that's fine, I can do it myself. Yeah, tomorrow morning is perfect. Thanks Love you too. Bye.
  • *the next afternoon*
  • Dad: So, what did you need to get rid of this morning?
  • Hipster: Nothing important. Just some old junk... Dad, what kind of person was poppop?
  • Dad: Well, he was only the greatest man I've known in my life. Really caring, dedicated to his family. When you were born he loved you so much. He was a bit of a loner, though. It took a lot to get him to open up. Even around me and your grandmother. He was a bit like you. Always a huge music lover.
  • Hipster: I see. Was he ever a doctor?
  • Dad: That's a weird thing to ask. Nope. He hated doctors. Didn't trust modern medicine one bit. It's ironic. His cancer probably wouldn't have gotten to him if he did. But, your poppop was always so stubborn.
  • Hipster: Oh, okay then.
  • *some days later*
  • Friend: New carpet?
  • Hipster: Yup, old one was ugly wasn't it. It was time for a change.
  • Friend: That's what I've been telling you! I'm glad you finally came to your senses. What happened to your record player, though?
  • Hipster: That thing? I threw it away. It was busted.
  • Friend: That sucks. Are you gonna buy a new one?
  • Hipster: No.
  • Friend: But you won't have anything to play your records on.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but I buy records because I want to support the artists. They're not really for listening. Besides, lossless is better. FLAC is the future.

me @ those haters who’re trying to smear super junior members

Fake Chats #188
  • Jungkook: want a cookie?
  • Seokjin: hmmm...
  • Jungkook: just pick one.
  • Seokjin: do I get only one? Or more than one?
  • Jungkook: one.
  • Seokjin: then it's not such an easy decision, is it? What if I don't like the one I pick?
  • Jungkook: knowing you, you'll eat it anyway.
  • Seokjin: what if I spit it back in your face.
  • Jungkook: I'll tell Jimin and you'll get in trouble.
  • Seokjin: you think I'm scared of Jimin?
  • Jungkook: I think you'd prefer it if Jimin didn't mom you on broadcast since you're the older one and would like to be taken seriously.
  • Seokjin: I think you've got a very sassy mouth, Jeon.
  • Jungkook: I've been told that before. Do you want a cookie or not?
  • Seokjin: I don't want anything from you.
  • Jungkook: fine. Yoongi-hyung, do you want a cookie?
  • Yoongi: no tha- I mean, I guess, sure, um, the chocolate one?
  • Jungkook: here. Tae!
  • Yoongi: here's your cookie, idiot.
  • Seokjin: don't talk down to me, Yoongi.
  • Yoongi: sorry.
How they see (PoE thoughts)

My first time posting anything of my own in, like, a few years and for a fandom as small as Pillars of Eternity’s? Ya bet yer butts, so buckle down if you’re interested in this at all, because this is something that’s been on my mind for a while now, actually. Oh, and spoilers for the game Pillars of Eternity below the cut, to be fair.

Keep reading

List of DISNEY starters - Put one in my ask!
  • "Because it's true love!"
  • "I want so much more than they've got planned."
  • "I just can't wait to be king!"
  • "The human world... it's a mess."
  • "This can't get any worse, can it?"
  • "I'm sorry I bit you... and pulled your hair... and punched you in the face."
  • "Sometimes it's better to be alone. No one can hurt you."
  • "Ladies do not start fights, but they can finish them."
  • "You don't even know him!"
  • "Memo to me. Maim you after my meeting."
  • "Hmm. Don't know, don't care. How's that?"
  • "Even miracles take a little time."
  • "I ain't biting no more butts."
  • "Something brought you were here."
  • "Being brave doesn't mean you go looking for trouble."
  • "I'm surrounded by idiots."
  • "Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"
  • "Be our guest!"
  • "And when I promise something, I never ever break that promise. Ever."
  • "Who says we have to grow up?"
  • "You're the one. The one I've been looking for!"
  • "If you don't think, then you shouldn't talk."
  • "Would you like to stay for dinner?"
  • "How do you spell love?"
  • "When was the last time you let your heart decide?"
Things Ravenclaws Say #31
  • Ravenclaw: Hey!
  • Random Person: Oh good, you found me. Wanna hear about this lunatic. They were talking about how they don't see gender? And that they're attracted to everyone
  • Ravenclaw: There pan! I though I was that for a while. Totally cool.
  • Random Person: Oh no, not you too
  • Ravenclaw: Ahh, I'm attracted to everything, but I still like labels, ya know.
  • Ravenclaw: it's omni, and I like it.
  • Ravenclaw: Hope you understand :D
  • Random Person, who is bigoted: I don't
  • Ravenclaw: Don't worry, idiots don't need to understand everything

anonymous asked:

I just imagined Derek mumbling in his sleep and Stiles trying to understand what he was saying so he keep talking back and Derek actually reply to whatever Stiles said, like, "Derek did you eat the last pop tart?" And Derek will pull him closer and mumbling "Yeah it was delicious but don't tell Stiles he will be angry at me. I don't like angry Stiles". And Stiles try his hardest not to laugh so he had to bury his face into a pillow. And now I'm grinning like an idiot. - Z

asdfghjkl, Z, why do you do this to me? This is so cute and now I’m grinning like an idiot.

  • Guren: I'll call her.
  • Yuu: Noooo!! You can't! He is mine now, I don't want to give him back!
  • Guren: Yuu, you literally just kidnapped a vampire from its mother.
  • Yuu: But...
  • Guren: And the vampire queen of all people... If we don't give him back, she'll come for us. We stand no chance.
  • Yuu: B-but...!!
  • Mika: *Appears next to them again*
  • Mika: I am not a child, so don't talk like I'm some poor, pitiful victim, you idiotic human. I am here because I want to.
  • Guren: Um. But. What about--
  • Mika: Don't speak to me, filthy human. Be useful for once, and hand me that phone.
  • Yuu: *grins*
  • Guren: Damn, this is bad... -_-
Place one of these in my ask if we've never interacted before
  • "Do you know where the closest diner is?"
  • "You look familiar. Have we met before?"
  • "I'm sorry! I really should watch where I'm walking..."
  • "Are you hurt?"
  • "You have a lovely smile."
  • "Were you talking to me?"
  • "The sun is awfully bright today."
  • "... I think I know your sister/brother/mother/etc."
  • "I think you've mistaken me for someone else."
  • "Don't be an idiot!"
  • "What's your name?"
  • "I'm [...]. It's great to meet ya!"
  • "No, go ahead. I'm not in any rush."
  • "Where're you from?"
  • "This is just how I am."
  • "Get out of the way!"
  • "Why are you staring at me like that?"
  • Alec: You want me to talk to Magnus? I don't know, Clary...
  • Clary: Psh, sorry. I just thought he was really into you.
  • Alec: He is. He's obsessed with me. I'm all, "what do you want for dinner?" and he's like, "Alexander, I'm obsessed with you."
  • Clary: ...Uh-huh.

((Please excuse me for a moment I just. I would like to say how incredible you all are and I’m just sitting here like “how do so many amazing people follow this blog” like I can’t even believe half of you, who are so talented and wonderful and have these KICKASS ask blogs, follow me, a lowly college student who’s way too invested in her own AUs, and I am so full of love and admiration for you and for the fandom and how I’ve been accepted so kindly, and all of the compliments I’ve gotten and just wow. I don’t know what else to do except sit here and scream like an idiot and continue to answer asks, because that’s all I feel I can do, and I can’t even begin to express my gratitude and my amazement. THANK YOU!!))

anonymous asked:

of course it's your blog and i'm glad your solas is bi and I know the het anon wasn't very polite, but i don't feel like it's right to attack someone for disagreeing (i'm more talking about your followers who are calling the person an idiot and stuff) it's upsetting to me to think that if i say something people in the fandom don't agree with i'll be shouted down too idk i'm rambling sorry

Hi anon, don’t worry! I understand what you’re saying. You should never attack someone nor shut them down immediately and solely because you disagree with something they’re saying specially if it’s fandom stuff. This is what dialogue is for. 

But here’s the thing, I don’t want to speak for that anon or say what their intentions were because I am not them, but to me their messages have a heavy aura of entitlement and intolerance

They were not asking me why I decided to portray Solas the way I did. They were not asking me politely if I would ever consider changing that. They were not looking for respectful dialogue. They were rudely shutting down my decision and demanding that I fix it. In my own blog. 

You must show respect for someone to treat you with respect in return. 

You, right now, with this message, do come across as respectful. And this is why the kind of response I’m giving you is equally respectful. 

Tolerance is a thing everyone needs. 


you know what i hate is that canon has shown us how on point regina’s reflexes are. robin has first-hand witnessed it. there’s a pretty high chance regina could’ve stopped that crystal or moved out of the way, and robin must have known that, but he still jumps in front of her. no thought about it, he’s just like, “i got good reflexes too, and they say protect regina.”

or even yet, there was thought about it, and he still decides “it’s the wife, take no chances” and dives. what kind of idiot. so pure and full of love. why do i do this to myself

MarkHyuck phone call..
  • Mark: Hey, are u sleeping already?
  • Donghyuck: what do you think?
  • Mark: Sorry to disturb you. I shouldn't call right now.
  • Donghyuck: Straight to the point Mark Lee.
  • Mark: Nothing. I'm just bored.
  • Donghyuck: There's no way you're getting bored. You got new friends there. You look so happy whenever you're with them.
  • Mark:'s different, I think? I'm enjoying myself rapping with them but it's different. I can't explain it.
  • Donghyuck: It's because you're doing something you love the most. Adrenaline rush, I think.
  • Mark: No. That's not the reason, Hyuck.
  • Donghyuck: I think you're just tired. You're going back late again today?
  • Mark: ......maybe? I don't know. They going to do more shooting for editing, so I don't know at what time we're going to finish.
  • Donghyuck: I'll be waiting for you in my dreamland by the time you come home.
  • Mark: .....
  • Donghyuck: ......
  • Mark: You should go to sleep now.
  • Donghyuck: Don't you think you need to tell me why are you calling me at the first place?
  • Mark: ......
  • Donghyuck: Are you planning to keep silent until tomorrow? If you don't have anything to tell me then..good night.
  • Mark: I miss you...
  • Donghyuck: ....yah, what's wrong with you?
  • Mark: I don't know. I'm just tired and your face come into my mind. The next things I know, I'm talking with you right now. Maybe I just want to hear you voice.
  • Donghyuck: You must be so tired right now. *blush*
  • Mark: But I really miss you! I meant it!
  • Donghyuck: I know, idiot! And we just met each other few hours ago.
  • Mark: I know. That's why I don't understand why I felt like this. I just..miss you suddenly. I miss you being noisy, annoying and talking non-stop beside me.
  • Donghyuck: Woah, Mark. Should I feel great right now? I can't believe you called me in the middle of the night just to diss about me? I feel happy. Thank you..take it take it take it!
  • Mark: *laugh*
  • Donghyuck: Don't you think you should continue your shooting right now? Because I need my beauty sleep.
  • Mark: Are you going to wait for me later?
  • Donghyuck: It's 12Am. I don't think I can..
  • Mark: Ah..okay. *disappointed* I should go now. Good night pretty Hyuck, have a nice sleep. Dream of me.
  • Donghyuck: Shut up, Mark Lee. I don't think I want to have nightmare tonight.
  • Mark: Bye~miss you.
  • Donghyuck: Geez~~bye
  • At 3Am
  • Mark: Hey, Hyuck. Wake up. Why are you sleeping in the living room? I thought you want to have beauty sleep. Why are you sitting in the dark here?
  • Donghyuck: I thought you want me to wait for you. I fell asleep just now.
  • Mark: *shocked*
  • Donghyuck: Why are looking at me like that? Lets go to our room. I'm sleepy! Gosh its already 3AM!
  • Mark: *hug Donghyuck* I miss you!!
  • Donghyuck: Damn it Mark Lee! Lemme go!
  • Mark: *kiss Donghyuck's lips*
  • Mark: Sorry making you waiting for me but I am so happy right now.
  • Donghyuck: Did you just kissed me?!
  • Mark: Yeah. Why? I can't kiss my boy?
  • Donghyuck: Who the heck give you permission to kiss me?! When the heck I've become your boy?! You're not allowed to be the cool one here!!
  • Mark: *rolled eyes and dragged Donghyuck to their shared room*
  • Mark: Sleep with me..
  • Donghyuck: I said, you're not allowed to be cool right now!
  • Mark: I know. Lets sleep.
  • Donghyuck: I hate you Mark Lee.
  • Mark: I know.
  • Donghyuck: I miss you too. *blushed & covered his face on Mark's chest*
  • Mark: I miss you more Lee Donghyuck.
  • Donghyuck: By the way, I don't like it you being close with other kids especially that Yoonho guy.
  • Mark: I'm all yours. You know that..
  • Donghyuck: Shut up. *smile cutely*
Jet Wolf Summarizes Act 38

The manga and I kind of hate each other. This is unfortunate, but still, I’m determined to come out of this with something. Rather than spend energy on a liveblog that’s increasingly negative, I’m reading each manga act (mostly) silently, and then writing up summaries at the end. I won’t pull my punches. There’s going to be criticism and snark about the manga, either wholesale or in details. If that isn’t a thing you feel like reading, please skip this post!

I’ve been desperate for the end of the Infinity arc, having been certain for the past five issues that this one MUST be it, only to be both disappointed and astonished that we were somehow dragging this shit out even more. But one day I had to be right, and this was it! In this issue, we finally see the end of the Infinity arc!



I don’t know how I managed to have enough hope still alive within me, but clearly it was there, because this was so fucking disappointing I heard myself screaming in my own head as the storylines flipped. It’s almost entirely just scrawled drawings of things that are GWOOO or ~glow~, I’m not kidding, there’s no “reading” to be done here, it’s just flipping through about twenty pages of doodles of indistinct things with a sound effect attached.

There’s a bit of angst, but make an educated guess who it’s about. YUP EVERYONE IS FACING THE DEATH OF THEIR WORLD AND EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE THEY KNEW AND ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS USAGI. In a rare moment, I actually excuse this for Mamoru, because what the fuck else does he have going for him really. But it’s NOT just Mamoru.

And just in case you’re thinking that Haruka’s talking about maybe Michiru or even the earth here, the manga goes out of its way to unambiguous that for you.

This is DEFINITELY the most interesting path to choose.

Anyway Saturn’s doing something, playing Pokemon maybe, I don’t know. Usagi pops back out again like a pinball who just went to super secret ball lock level for a little while, and she’s got ANOTHER power up apparently.

Then …


Stuff. I really can’t tell. Saturn’s going to destroy everything but NQS will rebuild it? Only she doesn’t do that, but still all the dead citizens of Tokyo get revived for the 34uthu2420801tslj98th time. And Pluto’s in this too, and she closes the Time Door, and that saves everything? I mean like if all we needed to do was close a fucking door, I could’ve done that months ago. Usagi still keeps turning into Serenity though, and then crystals start appearing, only they don’t appear to have any notable purpose, and I’m not sure they’re actually there, because nobody fucking comments on them and in like four pages we’re done with the fucking arc and

But first Hotaru’s a baby again, and Michiru’s like “Finally, someone I can have more lines than.” Then she gives Chibs her mirror. NO REALLY.

WHAT THE FUCK YOU COULD’VE BOUGHT A MIRROR AT RITE-AID FOR A BUCK TWENTY-FIVE. Still, I guess Michiru’s basically like “This did absolutely nothing for me in any capacity, so you may as well receive an inflated sense of self-worth from this meaningless faux emotional gesture”, which is about right.

Then the Outers fuck off, and I only regret I cannot do the same.

NEXT DAY: Everyone runs to their apartments. NEXT DAY, mind you, so everyone went to have a good night’s sleep first. They see three helicopters taking off.

Three. Helicopters.

Clearly, they’ve learned much about keeping a low profile.


Only it’s also SuperS.

Ah fuck me, it’s SuperS.

Pegasus appears to both Usagi and Chibs, which at least eliminates a season of “Who are you talking to? OH WELL NONE OF MY BUSINESS.” Mamoru also sees him, and I can only hope Pegasus also said to him “Please help me, young maiden”.

But all this suddenly appearing talking horse business distracts them. Oh no, surprise total eclipse!

Remember kids, this coming eclipse in two weeks on the 21st, always use protective eyewear or you’ll cause irreparable damage to your corneas and probably go blind like these three idiots should be! Sailor Moon Says!

anonymous asked:

I just need to rant real quick, im sick of the stupidity!!! Men treat us like shit & when you say the slightest thing they start crying/being aggressive! They can dish it out but can't take it! Talking about 'lol that's sexist :/' no bitch, read a book about sexism before you come talk to me! , I'm sick of dealing with these butthurt idiots. Also don't trust a man who sees 'sis' or 'girl' as an insult & does the IM A MAN thing. Shut up,you're embarrassing. I . Can't.STAND. these. Fools.


John Mulaney Sentence Starters
  • "The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time."
  • "All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it."
  • "It is 100% easier not to do things than to do them, and so much fun not to do them - especially when you were supposed to do them."
  • "In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin."
  • "I was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table."
  • "I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting."
  • "Why do people shush animals? They've never spoken."
  • "A lot of times you're anxious and people say, "Relax. Shut up." And that just feels like, Well, I guess I'm also crazy."
  • "I'm an idiot, but I've shoveled through life rather nicely so far."
  • "I kind of thought, wouldn't it be funny to take a swing at being on the weird side of mainstream?"
  • "I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion."
  • "There's just something really, really funny about someone tearing into me."
  • "Being president looks like the worst job in the world."
  • "Thirteen year olds are the meanest people in the world."
  • "I always though quick sand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be."
  • "'Do you want a salad or fries?' that's like asking 'Do you want to go for a jog or freebase cocaine?'"
  • “You have the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair.”
  • “Anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die; I can’t have them roaming around. They know too much.”
  • "I was once on the telephone with blockbuster video- Which is a very old fashioned sentence."
  • "I cannot express to you the humiliation of, every Saturday morning, putting on a pair of breakaway pants and never having a reason to break them away -- then they're just pants."
  • "My body is bad at sports: that's the problem."
  • "It was so beautiful today that I only watched four hours of "Law & Order" in my apartment."
  • "I don't look older, I just look worse."
  • "So, I would just have a couple of drinks, and my brain would be like, 'OK, I see where this is headed. We're just going to power down now and get restarted sometime tomorrow morning'."
  • "Here's how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the '30s -- as long as you weren't still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it."
  • "'Ocean's 11' with women wouldn't work 'cause two would keep breaking off to talk sh*t about the other nine."
  • “Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone, and I’ll be like ‘Yeah, I’ve been really lonely lately’ and they’ll be like ‘Well we should hang out!’ and I’m like ‘No, that’s not what I meant. That’s not what I meant at all.”
  • "We'd all go play jacks by the soda fountain."
  • "No one knows what you're talking about you idiot."
  • "Blackout drinking is when your brain goes to sleep but your body gets all 'Eye of the Tiger' and soldiers on.'
  • "Am I proud of it? No. Just like I'm not proud of the fact that I saw the movie The Notebook in theaters. But it happened!"
  • "You don't know me. I have secrets. Why yesterday I wore my footie pajamas under my clothes and pretended I was a fucking fireman."
  • “Excuse me: I am homeless. I am gay. I have AIDS. I'm new in town.”
  • "Because we're Delta Airlines and life is a fucking nightmare!"
  • "I could never be goth, don't get me wrong, I'm unhappy, it's not that."
  • "To me Person of Interest is almost too flattering. Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest' I'd be like 'Moi? Oh do go on. Fresh.' "
  • "Ma'am can you turn off your bluetooth? This is a baptism."
  • "It was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA."
  • "Do you want a plate of fries? If I get fries for the table would you take some? I know you'll eat fries if I get fries!"
  • "I watch so much Law and Order that sometimes I think I'm on an episode of Law and Order."
  • "You asked if I brushed my teeth but I never specified that I did so tonight. If the court reporter reads back my remarks you will see I did not purger myself."
  • "Traveling can get kinda lonely sometimes, actually no that's not the right word, Life. Life can get kinda lonely sometimes."
  • "Scientists have long since wondered if you can make grown men and women cry by playing Tom Jones' It's Not Unusual. And the answer is yes."
  • "Like my god man people are dead! But no you keep stacking those boxes."
  • "You seen this shit? You seen this Home Alone 2: Lost in New York shit?"
  • "As they say in Jerry Maguire, 'You had me at AIDS.'”
  • “Papa, today I met a boy with no eyes.”
  • "Adult life is already so goddamn weird."