don't take that sexually

Gender and Sexuality

So I wanted to blog about this topic bc I feel like I had some really funny experiences while coming out as a transgender boy. (I am just going to dive right in, pals) 

Before I came out as a Transboy, I identified as a bisexual girl. I also came out as bisexual in school, in my family, friends -(I identify as pansexual now I don’t feel like explaining the difference and coming out again, also I feel pretty comfortable with the label bisexual)- so they all knew that I am bisexual before I came out as transgender. And this actually changed a lot in the heads of them regarding my sexuality, even tho I don’t really know why, since me identifying as a transboy hasn’t to do anything with my sexuality. Sexuality and Gender are two different things. Since this obviously isn’t clear to everbody, I found myself in many situations like these and I will try to explain what is wrong about them: 

1. My mother. She constantly tries to label me as a lesbian, as if being a transboy is just an ‘’’’extreme form’’’ of my attraction to girls. I honestly tried so often to explain to her that I identify as a boy who can be attracted to girls AND boys (I won’t overwhelm her and bring her the shocking fact that there are more than two genders) but she doesn’t really listen. 

1. So to everyone who thinks that Transmen are AdvancedLesbians and Transwomen are actually AdvancedGaymen - This is entirely wrong since you are disrespecting our gender identity and disrespecting our sexuality all at once. Firstly Transgender People can have different sexualities than homosexuality and secondly: By saying a transmen who feels attraction to women is a lesbian, you are basically saying they aren’t a man. Or would you say it to a cis male ? Some people on here may don’t understand why I feel like having to explain this so - even friends who accept me or friends who try to understand my identity still think that I would date a lesbian or that I am okay with the lesbianlabel. I am not and, suprise, it’s not because I don’t accept homosexuals/lesbians. It’s simply because I identify as a boy, so when I find myself in a relationship with a girl, it is a heterosexual relationship bc I am NOT a girl. I actually think it’s pretty simple, isn’t it? So stop calling transmen lesbians and stop calling transwomen gay men. It’s wrong and you are being an asshole by doing this. Learn the difference, think a bit and stop being ignorant. 

2. So a few months ago I had something going on with a (cis) guy from my school, it was at a time where nearly everyone already knew that I am trans. So when I first talked about it with a very good friend of mine, her reaction was: ,,So what? I thought you identify as a boy, are you a girl again? ‘’ I mean she was so freaking confused by the fact that I had something with a boy even tho she knows me for so long and i never never said that I am straight and I had something going on with a boy from time to time(when i still presented myself as a girl). And not only she, I would say nearly everyone of my friends were confused when they heard about that, so I figured that me, coming out as trans, was like saying: I am a boy now and therefore I am heterosexual, to meet the heteronormative standards of a male person, right pals???? Sooo…I also figured that this has something to do with the expectations of my friends and how they view masculinity. So they had the expectation that I only feel attractions to girls now bc they view that as masculine(for a boy) and since I identify as a boy now I have to meet their expectations, I have to act like this thing they have saved up in their head as ‘’masculinity’’ and honestly I don’t know that this is. And I try not to care about it too, but since I want everyone to accept and see me as a male person, this whole thing actually is something that bothers me and triggers my dysphoria and I won’t hide that. 

2. What I know so far is that I am a boy, that my sexuality doesn’t make me any less of a man and does not stand in contradiction to my gender identity bc it is completely seperated from it. So if you all could stop mixing these two things up and addressing toxic expectations to transgender people(and!anyone else!), that would be lit.