don't stop paying attention

8

excitableplasticrabbits  asked:

I feel I gotta contribute a story about classroom reading bc it great: 7th or 8th grade science. Real awesome teacher. Classmate reading the twilight series for the first time wouldn't put it down and pay attention. Teach says, "If you don't stop reading that imma throw it out the window!" This is a pretty wet place. He's exaggerating right? Welp, like maybe 10min later, this hefty book is taken from this kid & thrown out the class window. "I told you." Class continues.

Originally posted by georgetakei

(But also kind of funny!)

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE RUNNING OFF TO
  • Cashier: *waiting nervously at bus stop* Why is this stupid bus always so late. It's either early or ridiculously late. Why can't it ever be on time. Fuck. I'm so paranoid. I feel like I did something wrong. I should've checked on my co-worker. What if they're seriously hurt.
  • Old Man: You've been talking to yourself for about fifteen minutes straight, kid. I usually ain't one to complain, but I was enjoying the silence before you started whining.
  • Cashier: Eek! Where did you come from old man?
  • Old Man: Over yonder. *points at liquor store* I've been sitting in this here bus stop since before you arrived, but you kids today don't pay attention none. I could've gutted you in a second if I wanted to.
  • Cashier: Are you going to gut me?
  • Old Man: No. At least not now. *lets off a threatening chortle*
  • Cashier: Oh my god!
  • Old Man: I'm messing with you, kid. I'm a religious man and it ain't in me to even harm a fly. Holy lord! *violently stomps his foot on the ground*
  • Cashier: What's wrong!?
  • Old Man: There was a maggot there. I hate maggots. Damn things freak me out.
  • Cashier: You said you wouldn't hurt a fly, but you'll stomp on a maggot?
  • Old Man: Never said I was pro-life.
  • Cashier: *begins to walk away*
  • Old Man: Where ya going, kid?
  • Cashier: I can't trust you, old fucking man! I'd rather walk home then stand around with you.
  • Old Man: Good thing you told me you were walking home so I can follow ya there. *chortles*
  • Cashier: Shit! *starts running*
  • *streets lights burst and the old man screams*
  • Cashier: SHIT! *runs and hides in an alleyway* What the fuck is even happening to me? I shouldn't have left early. I should've checked on my co-worker. This is some form of karmic retribution.
  • ???: NO IT IS NOT, HUMAN.
  • Cashier: Who the fuck's there!? Where are you!?
  • ???: YOU CANNOT SEE ME BUT I CAN SEE YOU VERY CLEARLY. I CAN SEE ALL PERMUTATIONS OF YOUR FUTURE, AND NONE WOULD END WELL FOR YOU TONIGHT.
  • Cashier: What?
  • ???: IF NOT FOR MY INTERVENTION, THE OLD MAN WOULD HAVE BECOME INTERESTED ENOUGH IN KILLING YOU TO HAVE TRIED IT OUT. IF NOT, YOUR BUS WOULD HAVE COLLIDED INTO AN ONCOMING TRUCK, KILLING YOU INSTANTLY. AND LET US SAY THAT YOU DECIDED TO CHECK UP ON YOUR FRIEND AT YOUR PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT. WELL, IN THAT CASE YOU WOULD HAVE MET ME MUCH EARLIER. I AM NOT GOING TO PRETEND THAT I HAVE ANY GOOD INTENTIONS FOR YOU HUMAN.
  • Cashier: You're saying that I was doomed no matter what?
  • ???: HMM, NOT NECESSARILY. I WOULD SAY THAT YOU ARE IRREVOCABLY DOOMED AT THIS MOMENT, AS I HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OVER YOUR FUTURE AND NO INTENT TO LET YOU LIVE.
  • Cashier: But why? You don't have to kill me. I'm sure you could let me live.
  • ???: I AM HUNGRY. SORRY, BUT I ONLY GET TO ENJOY A MEAL ONCE EVERY FEW CENTURIES. THINK OF IT THIS WAY, AFTER I FINISH EATING YOU, I WON'T HAVE TO EAT ANYONE ELSE FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS. YOU ARE DOING SOMEONE ELSE A COURTESY TO WHICH I AM SURE THEY WILL BE VERY GRACIOUS.
  • Cashier: I don't care about anyone else! I don't want to die! Please, I have a family that will miss me!
  • ???: I DO NOT KNOW WHAT A FAMILY IS. GOODBYE, HUMAN. OR AS THE FANCIER HUMANS WOULD SAY, BONER APE TITS... I THINK.
  • *thousands of maggots crawl out of the shadow and onto the cashier's body meticulously chewing away pieces of flesh as they crawl along*
  • Cashier: No! It hurts! I don't want to die! Someone help me! Help!
  • Amorphous Blob: *watches quietly as the cashier froths at the mouth and quietly flails on the ground* HUMANS ARE SO MENTALLY FRAGILE. FEEDING OFF THEIR FEAR IS SO EASY. AS IF I WOULD EVER LET MY PERFECT CATERPILLARS CHEW ON DISGUSTING SULFURIC HUMAN FLESH.
  • Amorphous Blob: *burps* OH, EXCUSE-AND-MWAH. SUCH A DELICIOUS DINNER SEEMS TO HAVE MADE ME UNCOUTH. GOODNESS, I WISH MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER WAS HERE TO EXPERIENCE ME SPEAKING THE ROMANTIC FANCY HUMAN LANGUAGE TO HIM. *pops open locket containing picture of some guy*
  • Amorphous Blob: OH, MY ONE HUMAN LOVE. MY ONE REASON TO EXIST. HOW MY ICHOR QUIVERS FOR YOU SO. YOU ARE SO HANDSOME, SO GENTLE, SO KIND. I BELIEVE IN FANCY HUMAN LANGUAGE THEY WOULD REFER TO YOU AS "SAY MAGNET FEET". *sigh* I MISS YOU SO MUCH, MY DEAR.
  • Amorphous Blob: *slips locket back into its goo* BUT I MUST BE GOING NOW. I HAVE A MISSION I MUST COMPLETE. OFF I GO TO- *spots a woman's clothing store across the street* GOODNESS, THAT FACILITY LOOKS POSITIVELY GLAMOROUS. I WONDER IF I COULD... NO! I NEED TO STICK TO MY QUEST. I HAVE ALREADY TAKEN ENOUGH BEAUTY PRODUCTS TO KEEP MY VAIN THOUGHTS SATIATED. BUT... WHAT ARE BEAUTY PRODUCTS IF I DO NOT HAVE PRETTY CLOTHING TO COMPLIMENT THEM? IT WILL NOT HURT MY QUEST IF I TAKE THE SMALLEST DETOUR TO FIND SOME GLAMOROUS FASHION TO IMPRESS MY LOVE WITH.
  • Amorphous Blob: BESIDES, I AM A PRINCE. PRINCES HAVE TO LOOK GOOD. NO ONE CAN LOVE A PRINCE THAT LOOKS LIKE A COMMONER. *rolls towards the beauty store*
  • Cashier: *lies braindead and gargling on their own spit*

it warms my heart seeing the daddyoffive situation get more and more publicity and seeing those demonic parents get more and more afraid of getting in trouble

retribution is coming for you assholes

keep it up guys

get these kids taken from these so-called people and put them with someone who will genuinely love and support them and won’t fucking abuse them on camera for quick money

advice for the signs
  • aries: take a deep breath and count to ten. the world isn't going to end. take care of yourself first and foremost.
  • taurus: let them go. if that song reminds you of someone you used to love, start hitting the skip button.
  • gemini: those who say that you speak too much don't pay attention to what you're saying. don't stop.
  • cancer: stop playing the victim. people will take advantage of you for as long as you let them.
  • leo: don't let them get to you. surround yourself with caring people and let them think what they want.
  • virgo: sometimes you need to own up to your mistakes. if they don't forgive you, all you can do is move on.
  • libra: flip a coin already. making a bad decision is better than making none at all.
  • scorpio: let someone else share the load every once in a while. they're not all out to get you.
  • sagittarius: perfection doesn't exist, just be the best you can. the world can slow down without stopping.
  • capricorn: it's ok if you need to force a smile. go out on the town every now and then, it'll do you good.
  • aquarius: stop beating around the bush. tell someone how you feel before you run out of last chances.
  • pisces: you're stronger than you think. your demons are strong, but you're indestructable. fight back.

it scares me so much when people don’t reply to my texts like even if i just send smth random like “this tea is so good” if someone doesn’t reply i will immediately start thinking abt every bad thing i’ve ever done and i don’t know WHY but to me no reply = them saying that they hate me n want me out of their life asap and i just