don't steal this or i will kill you :)

work alex: trained in hand to hand combat, weapon proficiency, skilled pilot, literal bio-engineer, can kill you with one finger.

work maggie: sharpshooter, highly observant, interrogation master, has everyone’s back, tiny but could kill you with a look.

gf alex: human embodiment of the hearteyes emoji, must touch maggie’s hair at least 3 times per minute or she’ll die, little spoon.

gf maggie: steals alex’s tshirts cuz they smell like her, is waiting for alex to realize she already moved in, top™

Here's what happened II
  • *Otayuri in Russia*
  • Yuri: Okay where do you want to sit?
  • Beka: I don't care you pick...
  • Yuri: UGH Beka come on your visiting at least choose something!
  • Beka: Okay *points* over there.
  • Yuri: See that wasn't so hard!
  • *later*
  • Yuri: Didn't you have a new mix or something you wanted to play for me?
  • Beka: Oh yeah here let me pull it up on my phone!
  • Yuri: UGH! I forgot my earbuds...
  • Beka: Don't worry I have mine~
  • *later*
  • Viktor: Ahhh where could our little boy be???
  • Yuuri: Viktor we are supposed to be grocery shopping. I doubt Yurio wants to see us anyways he left in kind of a rush...
  • Viktor: Did you see how he was dressed?! No cat print, so fancy, our son is with someone and we have to find out who!!!
  • Yuuri: Okay just because he dressed up nicely for one doesn't mean-
  • Viktor: I THINK THAT'S HIM! IS THAT JJ???
  • Yuuri: Whaaaaaat??? No way... See look I think it's Otabek...
  • Viktor: THAT GANGSTER WHO WANTED TO STEAL MY SON FROM ME?!?!
  • Yuuri: Ugh we have been over this a million times we KNOW Otabek. He would NEVER hurt Yurio. Awe they look so cute together...
  • Viktor: HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS!?!? I NEED TO GO OVER THERE AND GIVE THAT PUNK A PIECE OF MY MIND!!!
  • Yuuri: Better idea!!! Why don't we just casually walk by and act real suprised to see them and you don't try and kill Otabek! Mmmkay?
  • Viktor: They are really close together....
  • Yuuri: Viktor!
  • Viktor: Fine...
  • *Viktuuri casually walks by Otayuri who don't notice them*
  • Viktor: YURIO!!! FANCY SEEING YOU HERE!!!
  • *Beka panics and and stands up*
  • Yuri: What the hell are you idiots doing here?
  • Yuuri: Oh we were just in the neighborhood and decided to say hi! Hey Otabek no need to look like a deer in the headlights~
  • Yuri: Ugh can you two leave??? We were kind of in the middle of something...
  • Yuuri: Of course! We'll let you guys finish this d- this little outing of yours~
  • Viktor: DID YOU SEE HOW PANICKED OTABEK WAS?! HE'S HIDING SOMETHING...
  • Yuuri: This was supposed to be casual Viktor. You gave me a heart attack when you yelled at them...
When you watch the episode and you see Bonnie suffering so much that you realize that people really FAILED her.

Bonnie was always the one who sacrificed herself and when you see what she’s able to do to bring Enzo back to his side, and also that Elena is the first thing Damon think about, it shows what we all suspected:

Bonnie is not respected, it’s above happiness, dear Bonenzo, Bamon, and other ship fans. It’s FUCKING RESPECT.

Caroline LET MESSAGES. NO trying to see her so-called best friend. I’m VERY SORRY, Stefan can wait! You are a fucking vampire erase the memories with the help of all later!

Damon hears Bonnie “ Leave me alone “, I’m sorry, this is precisely the moment when you don’t leave someone ALONE!

Caroline CALLED her mother? Someone who ABANDONED her ? who is a vampire when she supposed to be here for her? What is your fucking logic? Stefan is right, you only think about your fucking marriage!

DON’T MARRY HER STEFAN!

Also, I seriously want to see Bonnie slap Stefan. Or Damon. Or someone for fuck’s sake, she deserves a slap! WHen she almost killed Elena, she was under the expression influence but for once… MAKE THEM PAY. STEAL THE CAMARO. LEVE THIS SHIT HOLE. I DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT BAMON ANYMORE CAUSE DAMON FAILED YOU!

Let Elena burn in her fucking coffin and move on!

Ps: Kai is back, it’s probably the time to have payback.

PS2: Abby is a vampire. So why the hell can she do magic etc? Did I miss something?

How Satsuriku no Tenshi Affected Me
  • Me: *Steals cousin's Chicken McNuggets without her looking"
  • Cousin: (Finds out she doesn't have it) *Glares at me* Why you--
  • Me: -Insert Cathy's laugh-
  • Me: *Scrolling through some random person's Instagram* That person got nice peepers...
  • Me: *Plays a video game for hours and gives up cuz I keep on dying* I don't give a flying f*ck anymore... Just kill me...
Me (Layered)
The 1975
Me (Layered)

use headphones

slightly slowed down for copyright reasons

all rights go to The 1975 and their producers, i own absolutely nothing!

Can we talk about the fact that there were already hints in ep1 for what happened to Makkachin in this episode?

I mean, this scene where Yuko shows the magazine to Yuri…

if you look closely at the interview…

Interviewer: Makkachin is quite a large dog, isn’t he?

Victor: He’s a standard poodle and I have him for 3 years now. He sleeps a lot, so that’s maybe why he became so large. Another reason (for his size) might be that he often steals and eats food. He’s really good at doing that without being noticed by me.


And apparently Makkachin’s bad habit hasn’t changed after 12 years…

Makkachin, you naughty boy!

Crown Princes of YA (Part two)
  • Maxon Schreave (The Selection): I found a new friend to induct into our circle of heirs to fantasy realms *whispers* and hopefully to l;ighten the mood of all our depressing situations.
  • Prince Kai (TLC): What's your story?
  • Cal Calore(Red Queen): I really don't belong here.
  • Dorian Havilliard(TOG): Why? What's wrong? It couldn't possibly be any worse than what we've already faced.
  • Cal Calore: My half brother and my stepmother manipulated me into killing my own father so now I've been exiled and lost my title and my family.
  • Maxon Schreave: Oh, that's... really sad. I'm sorry.
  • Prince Kai: Hey, you know what always helps for me when someone tries to steal my throne?
  • Cal Calore: What?
  • Prince Kai: Getting kidnapped by my girlfriend and her rebel group and then starting a revolution to try and fix this cruel, cruel world.
  • Cal Calore: *bursting into tears* My girlfriend and her rebel group already did that!
  • Maxon Schreave: *facepalms*

I never considered Liberty Prime a potential adversary until I accidentally picked him up in VATS.  Which begs to question how many people have tried to attack this Nuke throwing Behemoth basher?  Does he even notice if you do?  Wouldn’t having to defend a base or say…. Castle against him be fun?  And by fun I of course mean devastating but awesome.

anonymous asked:

Joker+Harley x bruises? do with that what you will! ;) (doesn't have to be sexy times it could even be joker finds bruises on Harley or something like that hahaha)

Other Anon: Prompt: one night after date night joker finds scars &/or bruises &/or cuts &/or hickeys(idkk?) on Harley’s body (pick and choose what you want!) and he starts to freak out and be possessive and either thinks she’s cheating on him or demands to know who hurt her so he can end their life.

I already have a fanfic where Joker finds a bruise on Harley (x) So I modified these asks just a little.  

“Wow, what a view!” Harley gaped over Midway city, “Must be nice working on the 115th floor.” She whined, the penthouse she and Joker lived out was nice but you couldn’t see every building, every street, all the people walking on the ground looked like ants.

A gasp from beside her.

Harley snapped around, gun drawn she found no one.

The blonde’s eyebrows pulled together, confusion etched on her pretty pale face. She looked around the top floor of the ‘James LaCour’ building. Dead bodies littered the ground, blood pooling the nice wood from Harley’s rampage not a minute before. She had gone through ten men, to get to the millionaire CEO James LaCour. Only to find that no one sat behind the desk at the back of the wide room that now reeked of the dead. Harley’s adrenaline was still buzzing from the battle, her body singing for more murder.

LaCour owed her Joker money and Mr. J would get his money.

Harley looked for the source of the gasp, glancing over the dead men’s face to ensure that they were actually dead. No one was getting out of here alive.

Movement.

A shadow moved just slightly from behind the desk, Harley walked around and saw a grown man crouching under his desk. A drawn pocket knife in his hand, he jumped when he saw Harley notice him.

“Please, don’t kill me.” He gasped, sweat dripping down his bald head.

Harley crouched down next to him, lifting one finger up to his face. She pulled out the photo of James LaCour that Frost had cut out of the newspaper. Harley glanced back and forth between the paper and the terrified man a few times before she clapped.

“Yahtzee!” Harley screeched, crumbling up the photo and threw it behind her, “It’s a match!” LaCour jumped at her sudden high pitch tone, “Hi, I’m Harley. I’m here on behalf of Mr. J, I believe you owe him some money.” She stuck out a hand to the horrified man.

“Y-yes,” He stammered, “It’s only a few days late. I was gonna give it to him by tonight. Please! I promise!”

Harley’s eyebrows rose, “Well as much as I’d love to sit here and talk like this, how about we get into a more comfortable position?” She asked suggestively, winking at him.

LaCour was still hiding under his desk and Harley was crouched beside him.

“Here,” She said, “I’ll even let ya sit in your chair.” She stood up and positioned the chair for him to sit. LaCour looked at her smiling face before shakily climbed into his chair and sitting down. “There, relax.” Harley whispered close to his ear.

Just like that chaos erupted. Harley drew her gun and pointed it at the CEO’s head. Every door on the top floor was opened at once, giant guns drawn behind their masked faces and nice suits. Harley laughed as Mr. J’s henchmen littered the room.

“Hi boys! Nice of you to join us!” Harley placed the gun back into her holster and walked around the desk. The man behind her whimpered. “Would two of you handle this?” Harley pointed a thumb at the sweating CEO. Two henchmen walked forward immediately and took hold of the man, one pointed a giant gun at his head. He groaned, whispering a prayer under his breath.

“Ms. Quinn,” Frost said still panting walked closer to Harley, “I have a request.”

Harley rolled her eyes, “What is it, Frosty?”

“Ms. Quinn, I request that you stay with us, please.” Frost begged, eyes on the floor. He knew not to look at her for too long, “I request that you stay close to us so we can storm the suspect together, please.”

She knew why he was requesting this, it was his job to make sure Harley didn’t walk out with a scratch on her when Mr. J wasn’t around. If she ran ahead, then he couldn’t look after her and his life would be on the line.

That’s why Harley ran ahead.

“That’s not how I see it, Frosty.” Harley frowned, wiping off her bloody knife on his tux sleeve, “How’d Mr. J like to hear that you put me in danger cause you couldn’t keep up?”

“He wouldn’t like to hear it, Ms. Quinn.” Frost sighed agreeing.

“That’s right.” Harley smiled at him, turning around and walking back towards the CEO, “Now what do we do with you?”

Just like that the CEO stupidly, bravely had a knife in his hand. The CEO lunged forward with the knife Harley jumped away so the knife didn’t end up across her neck, but it did scratch her upper arm. Through the sleeve of her nice brand new ‘DADDY’S GIRL’ red and black shirt. The henchmen immediately ripped the weapon out of his hand and forced him onto the floor, however, they knew better than to kill him.

Harley frowned touching the rip in the shirt, drops of blood running out of her arm. Then, she started to laugh this is gonna be even better show than I originally thought… the wound wasn’t bad, but Mr. J would see a severed arm.

“You’re so stupid.” Harley giggled, glancing at the blood coming out of her cut. The foolish man seemed to realize what he had just done. “Prepare him for puddin.”

After she said this, three henchmen were on the CEO. Pushing him against the wall and holding him there, the CEO had multiple guns on him quickly. Harley rose her phone to call Mr. J but not before getting one good hit with her bat into the CEO’s stomach.

“Mr. J?” Harley made sure to put on her sad, hurt voice. The Joker picked up on the second ring, Harley was told not to interrupt his fun,  happening in a lower floor of the building, unless there was an emergency.

“Spit it out, Harley.” His growled into the phone, she could almost feel his anger and she grinned wider.

“I think you should get up here, puddin.” She stared at the terrified CEO’s face, “Someone hurt me.”

The Joker roared with rage, she heard gunshots ringing out and bodies hitting the floor. As the gunshots grew closer, the CEO started to beg for his life. Apologizing repeatedly to Harley, saying he would raise the deal by two million, three million, ten million if she wanted. He just wanted to live. Harley ran a finger across her burning cut.

“I loved this shirt,” She pouted, ignoring the CEO’s pathetic attempts to stay alive. She wanted to be the one to kill the CEO for hurting her, but for the show it was worth it to wait for Mr. J. Harley heard a familiar laugh, footsteps, and more gunshots coming closer to the room Harley and the CEO were in.

“Puddin!” Harley voice broke, frowning, she held out her arm. The Joker was growling as he walked over to her, he didn’t take his eyes off the cut.  

“Let me see.” The Joker grasped her arm with rare care, her ran a gloved finger up the stream of blood running out of the knife wound.

“Am I gonna lose it?” She asked, tears coming to her eyes.

“No,” His eyes unblinking as his free hand grasped her chin and looked over her face, “Stay strong and I’ll make it up to you at home, pumpkin.” He growled, snapping his head around as he tried to control his anger. Harley giggled, excited.

Mr. J walked up to the CEO, charisma and anger radiating off of him as he drawled his gun. Joker kept strolling towards the sobbing man until he was right in his face, his gloved hands grasping his cheek.

“I’d like to set up an appointment.” Joker grinned at him. “Are you tied up?”

“Joker, I didn’t mean to!” LaCour cried, “I’ll give you a bonus! A giant bonus! Two times, five times, ten times more! How about that, Mr. J?” He begged, “I’ll give you ten million instead of just one! Just let me live.”

“Isn’t it so funny?” The Joker smiled, “The will to live. How the rat will continue to fight when it’s between the cats paws? How the gazelle will attempt to run after seeing the lion?”

“Fifteen million dollars!” The man shouted.

“How a human will still beg with the killer draws the gun?” He laughed lowly, his gun rising until it was under the CEO’s chin.

“Puddin, it stings!” Harley let out a small whine from behind Mr. J, she frowned as she held her arm. Her cry seemed to awaken the demon in the Joker.

With a sharp growl the CEO had a hole in his head from the bullet, his pathetic whimpering ended. The Joker killed the henchmen that held the CEO down too. It was their job to make sure the Queen didn’t have a scratch on her, they failed. Frost was spared only because he knew where to steal the dead CEO’s money. 

Thanks for reading! 

Prompts requests are closed. 

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013 film) : Sentence Starters
  • "They must have come here hoping beyond hope."
  • "_______, we'll never make it."
  • "Aren't you going to search me? I could have anything down my trousers."
  • "Revenge? REVENGE? I will show you revenge!"
  • "What have we done?"
  • "If this is to end in fire, then we will all burn together!"
  • "No. I will not die like this, cowering, clawing for breath."
  • "And who is this horrid creature? A goblin mutant?"
  • "You have no right to enter that mountain!"
  • "Turn around and don't come back."
  • "Do you think flattery will keep you alive?"
  • "I did not come to steal from you, O _______. "
  • "(S)He walks in starlight in another world."
  • "I belong with my brother/sister!"
  • "There you are, Thief in the Shadows!"
  • "I am fire! I am... death!"
  • "I merely wanted to gaze upon your magnificence, to see if you really were as great as the old tales say."
  • "I'm patient! I can wait!"
  • "Oh, no... This isn't their fault! Wait!"
  • "Yes! Yes, I'm afraid! I fear for YOU, _______."
  • "I instilled terror in the hearts of men."
  • "Come now, don't be shy... step into the light."
  • "Do not think I won't kill you, _______!"
  • "I know you're there. Why do you linger in the shadows?"
  • "It is not our fight."
  • "If (s)he had a name, it's long since been lost."
  • "Yes... Yes, what the stories said is true."
  • "Such is the nature of evil, in time all foul things come forth!"
  • "You are being used, _______."
  • "_______... That's a good name!"
  • "But I am cold and tired, and ready for home."
  • "You have nice manners for a thief, and a LIAR!"
  • "They are greedy and blind, blind to the lives of those they deem lesser than themselves..."
  • "We do not have to like him/her, we simply have to pay him/her!"
  • "War is coming."
  • "If you awaken that beast, you'll destroy us all!"
  • "Barrels! Now that is interesting!"
The Beatles as Cinnamon Rolls

Looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you: Paul

Looks like they could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll: George

Looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll: Ringo

Looks like they could kill you and would actually kill you: John

Deal.

Originally posted by the-young-zombie

Requested by: Anon

Trigger Warnings: probably a swear or two. kidnapping? you get kidnapped.

Firstly I just want to say that I love everything you’ve written so far! And I was wondering if I could request something about you being Oliver Queen’s girlfriend and you don’t find out that he’s the vigilante until someone who does know who he is kidnaps you/hurts you to get to him? I hope that makes sense!

a/n: yall have no idea how much i love this show. okay, you don’t care let’s do this. Also this is set when Slade wanted to take everything Oliver’s ever loved cos Slade is the best. My brother’s fav is also Deathstroke. It was the best season lets be honest.


     You were making your way through Starling City to meet with Oliver at Verdant. It was date night, but instead of going out, Thea insisted on closing the club for you to have a romantic dinner alone. Making a mental note to thank her, you fail to notice a figure following behind you.

    Then you were grabbed from behind, a hand went to cover your mouth, muffling your screams. You struggled to get free, biting at the hand and elbowing your attacker, but to no avail. The person was too strong, but there is no way you were going down without a fight. Before you knew what happened, you blacked out.

Keep reading

Strawhats playing Video Games
  • Sanji: "If you don't stop swearing, I am going to have to report you."
  • Brook: "Wow! Great game guys. Good luck next round."
  • Usopp: "I'm going to teabag the shit out of you fucking campers."
  • Franky: "Requesting air support, I repeat! Requesting air support!"
  • Zoro: "...."
  • Chopper: "How do I crouch? ...How do I know which team I'm on?"
  • Robin: "Grenade launchers are a part of the game. Don't like it? Don't play."
  • Nami: "Quit bitching about kill steals. It won't stop me."
  • Luffy: "SUUUUCKKKKKKK MYYYYYYY DIIIIIICKKKKKKK!"

someone: *steals my post*

me: *reblogs it to say it’s wrong to steal someone’s posts and adds the link to the original post*

people: *reblog the stolen post anyway, FROM ME*

me: *loses followers* ??????

  • Tyrian: *kills people, almost kills the protagonist of the show*
  • FNDM: It's okay! He's so random and funny (like me X3), so he can stay!
  • Cinder: *kills multiple people, destroys a school and most of one of the five major cities on the planet*
  • FNDM: OMGEE!! I hope she is okay!! That scar looks bad! :O
  • Roman: *destroys property, steals, ruins lives, kills people*
  • FNDM: But he's got a nice hat! And he's so funny and charming!
  • Neo: ?????
  • FNDM: XD I love her!
  • Jacque Schnee: *slaps a girl*
  • FNDM: >:O He must die!! Worst scum of the earth!! The most vile character this show has ever seen!!