don't steal this or i will kill you :)

work alex: trained in hand to hand combat, weapon proficiency, skilled pilot, literal bio-engineer, can kill you with one finger.

work maggie: sharpshooter, highly observant, interrogation master, has everyone’s back, tiny but could kill you with a look.

gf alex: human embodiment of the hearteyes emoji, must touch maggie’s hair at least 3 times per minute or she’ll die, little spoon.

gf maggie: steals alex’s tshirts cuz they smell like her, is waiting for alex to realize she already moved in, top™

Wonder Woman, a summary
  • Amazons : Diana, don't risk your life
  • Diana : i'm gonna steal all those armory stuff and kick a God's ass
  • Everyone : Diana stop being so attractive
  • Diana : *gains +10 beauty everytime someone says that*
  • Steve : there's a sniper in that clock tower
  • Diana : i'm going to fucking blow off the tower
  • Soldiers : don't go into the no man's land !!! It's very dangerous !!!!
  • Diana : hold my drink and fucking watch me
  • Arès : kill that woman please
  • Diana : *lifts a goddamn tank*
  • me : do you even catch a breath
  • Diana : *does the little smiling head tilt*
Here's what happened II
  • *Otayuri in Russia*
  • Yuri: Okay where do you want to sit?
  • Beka: I don't care you pick...
  • Yuri: UGH Beka come on your visiting at least choose something!
  • Beka: Okay *points* over there.
  • Yuri: See that wasn't so hard!
  • *later*
  • Yuri: Didn't you have a new mix or something you wanted to play for me?
  • Beka: Oh yeah here let me pull it up on my phone!
  • Yuri: UGH! I forgot my earbuds...
  • Beka: Don't worry I have mine~
  • *later*
  • Viktor: Ahhh where could our little boy be???
  • Yuuri: Viktor we are supposed to be grocery shopping. I doubt Yurio wants to see us anyways he left in kind of a rush...
  • Viktor: Did you see how he was dressed?! No cat print, so fancy, our son is with someone and we have to find out who!!!
  • Yuuri: Okay just because he dressed up nicely for one doesn't mean-
  • Yuuri: Whaaaaaat??? No way... See look I think it's Otabek...
  • Yuuri: Ugh we have been over this a million times we KNOW Otabek. He would NEVER hurt Yurio. Awe they look so cute together...
  • Yuuri: Better idea!!! Why don't we just casually walk by and act real suprised to see them and you don't try and kill Otabek! Mmmkay?
  • Viktor: They are really close together....
  • Yuuri: Viktor!
  • Viktor: Fine...
  • *Viktuuri casually walks by Otayuri who don't notice them*
  • *Beka panics and and stands up*
  • Yuri: What the hell are you idiots doing here?
  • Yuuri: Oh we were just in the neighborhood and decided to say hi! Hey Otabek no need to look like a deer in the headlights~
  • Yuri: Ugh can you two leave??? We were kind of in the middle of something...
  • Yuuri: Of course! We'll let you guys finish this d- this little outing of yours~
  • Yuuri: This was supposed to be casual Viktor. You gave me a heart attack when you yelled at them...

anonymous asked:

the scene from tkm where neil asks what andrew would give him and andrew responds with "don't ask questions you already know the answer to" kills me because not only would andrew do anything for neil even before they got together, neil later says the same to andrew. it's so Good!!

HONESTLY!! THEY WOULD GIVE EACH OTHER THE WORLD IF THEY COULD!! like andrew could ask for the moon and neil would genuinely try to steal the fuckin moon

GotG Vol. 2 Basically (spoilers)
  • Rocket: I'm gonna steal some batteries
  • Drax: HAHAHAHA
  • Peter: WHAT THE HECK MAN?!
  • Nebula: Why am I here? Seriously let me go so I can kill Thanos
  • BabyGroot: I am Groot *so adorable*
  • _____
  • Ego: Peter, I am your dad
  • Peter: Oh... I was still lowkey expecting David Hasselhoff
  • _____
  • TaserFace: MUTINY!!!
  • Nebula: What the heck am I doing?
  • BabyGroot: *Adorably gives random crap to Yondu*
  • Kraglin: Yo
  • _____
  • Mantis: I can sense people's feelings
  • Peter: Okay sure
  • Mantis: You feel love for Gamora!
  • Gamora: WHAT? (Like I don't know already)
  • Drax: the way you are so ugly
  • Mantis: Okay :D
  • Drax: Like seriously disgusting
  • _____
  • Peter: I'm so happy, dance with me, I know you like me ;D
  • Gamora: What are you talking about? (Of course I like you ;D) Don't get this the wrong way but something isn't right
  • Gamora: wow, that escaleted quickly
  • _____
  • Ego: I loved your mom and hated leaving you
  • Peter: Maybe we can finally be a happy family!!
  • Ego: Of course! You only need to help me kill everyone
  • Peter: What? ._.
  • Ego: Also, btw I killed your mom
  • _____
  • Peter: I thought you wanted to kill me
  • Rocket: Yeah yeah yeah, LET'S BLOW THE PLANET
  • Nebula: Sup, I'm part of the team now, Gamora let me leave to kill Thanos already!
  • Mantis: I can help you guys too!
  • Drax: Thank you are ugly
  • Sovereigns: PREPARE TO DIE
  • Rocket: Groot, don't push this button
  • BabyGroot: I am Groot *adorably threatens to push deadly button*
  • Peter: Pfff yeah HE is
  • _____
  • *THEY DEFEAT EGO AND YONDU (you know sad sad)*
  • Peter: Turns out Yondu was my David Hasselhoff
  • Nebula: I kind of wanna stay... but I'm going to kill Thanos, bye
  • Gamora: Good luck (see you in Infinity War)
  • Rocket: I promise to be less of a jerk least I promise to try remembering it
  • Kraglin: This is an mp3,300 hundred songs
  • Peter: :O!!!!
  • Gamora: You know, I do kind of like you
  • Peter: I was just waiting for you to say it
  • Drax: Hey Mantis, you are beautiful...but only in the inside... DEEEEEEEEP INSIDE

anonymous asked:

You basically ripped off Colubrinas story with yours. Your title isn't original you stole that. Get a life or better yet. Don't. Kill yourself. Please. Do us all a favor and stop stealing things that aren't yours and just end it. Smdh. Kys bitch!

Oh my dear anon, 
You are not the first to send me hate, death threats, appealing to me to kill myself, etc. I was made aware shortly after I began to talk about this fic that Colubrina did indeed have one with a similar title. Before I could even begin to respond to these people and try to make amends I was already being bombarded with messages much like this one. 

The only thing I really have to say to you anon is this: I truly feel sorry for you. I am actually a survivor of suicide (Four times to be exact) and I am proud to say I am no longer in that dark place that I once was. You should never encourage someone to take their life, no matter how much you dislike them. If you had been around earlier, you would have known I actually asked permission from @colubrina about the similar titles and expressed how genuinely sorry I was (Because I didn’t know she had a fic with that title) She was very nice about it all and said that there are hundreds of fics with similar titles out there and that she was 100% okay with me having that title. 

So if she is okay with it, why aren’t you anon? I don’t know if you are religious or not but know this; I will pray for you. I will pray to every God, Goddess, Energy, and Spirit out there that this hatred within you will relinquish its hold. Though if you would like to continue this conversation, I would love nothing more than for you to come off of Anonymous and we can have a real chat.  💚

Have a nice day sweetie.   ❤️ I hope this made you feel a little better and you won’t go around doing it to someone else.  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

anonymous asked:

Did you say once survivors of Nargothrond fled to Doriath? That would make for a pretty bad family reunion between Celebrimbor and dad... (and later in Sirion, if he didn't have the good sense to camp out with Gil-galad on Balar)

It was midwinter night.

That had not seemed remarkable to Celebrimbor, beyond a chance to get some really fine etching work done without anyone coming into the forge to bother him. Snatches of noise from the main hall reached him still though, shrieks of laughter and the clatter of a dropped serving platter.

In hindsight he should have realised sooner that platters did not clang so harshly, and that shrieks of joy were rarely so shrill or so prolonged, but Nargothrond and even the horror of the Sack had seemed so distant from this still winter’s night.

Not so far though that, when the door was kicked off its hinges, he wasn’t up and over his workbench with a phial of acid in his hand before it even hit the tiles.

It was no orc though, that strode towards him, no cringing servant of the enemy. He knew the helm’s faceplate near as well as the features that lay beneath - much of the gilt he had inlaid himself.

“Father,” he almost said but didn’t. He didn’t say anything as the figure picked its way between the anvils and slack tubs, dully gleaming in the forge light. He drew his arm back further. His hand scarcely shook.

“You’re looking well,” said Curufin Fëanorion. “I hope I did not interrupt anything delicate.”

Still Celebrimbor did not speak. Too many words had stopped his throat - words of bitter spite for a traitor and a murderer and of forgiveness for the man who had sung him cradle songs and taught him all the craft he had to teach. “How are you here?” he choked out. “Why are you here?”

“I did not raise you to ask questions you can reason out the answers to.”

The jewel, of course the jewel but for one moment he had thought- no matter now. The alarms hadn’t sounded, likely wouldn’t get a chance to - his family always had excelled at what they put their minds to, be it ornamental metalwork or war. Soldiers in the corridor and a sword in his father’s hand but surely there was something he could do. His eyes flicked about the room, looking for a weapon, some way to warn the Thousand Caves.

Curufin smiled. “My soldiers will keep you here and keep you safe,” he said. “I’m sure it will ease your mind to know you had no choice, no chance to change what is to come. Perhaps you will thank me for it when all is done.”

“Have some pride, Father. You raised me to be a better man than that,” Celebrimbor hissed. But he did not throw the phial. It would do no good against such armour anyway.

“I have no more choice in this than you,” said Curufin, who had always been an excellent liar, even to himself. “Remember; always use beeswax for your saw blades, never tallow. And do not stay up working overlate-”

“I shall stay up as late as it pleases me just as you shall kill and steal as pleases you. Get out, and thank your luck I have no sword.”

He would thank his own luck later, if he did not thank his father.

Curufin had, after all, raised his son to be rational and there was little good to be had in giving thanks to a corpse.

Me (Layered)
The 1975
Me (Layered)

use headphones

slightly slowed down for copyright reasons

all rights go to The 1975 and their producers, i own absolutely nothing!

  • Zack: You've gone over the line this time, OK? You don't never call a dude's mom.
  • Jason: Oh- so it's okay so long as you don't go and tell his mommy about it?
  • Zack: *voice cracks* No no, this is serious, man. EVEN in ancient times: they would KILL your cow, they would BURN your village, and they would STEAL your family, but they would NEVER tell your mother, man.
When you watch the episode and you see Bonnie suffering so much that you realize that people really FAILED her.

Bonnie was always the one who sacrificed herself and when you see what she’s able to do to bring Enzo back to his side, and also that Elena is the first thing Damon think about, it shows what we all suspected:

Bonnie is not respected, it’s above happiness, dear Bonenzo, Bamon, and other ship fans. It’s FUCKING RESPECT.

Caroline LET MESSAGES. NO trying to see her so-called best friend. I’m VERY SORRY, Stefan can wait! You are a fucking vampire erase the memories with the help of all later!

Damon hears Bonnie “ Leave me alone “, I’m sorry, this is precisely the moment when you don’t leave someone ALONE!

Caroline CALLED her mother? Someone who ABANDONED her ? who is a vampire when she supposed to be here for her? What is your fucking logic? Stefan is right, you only think about your fucking marriage!


Also, I seriously want to see Bonnie slap Stefan. Or Damon. Or someone for fuck’s sake, she deserves a slap! WHen she almost killed Elena, she was under the expression influence but for once… MAKE THEM PAY. STEAL THE CAMARO. LEVE THIS SHIT HOLE. I DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT BAMON ANYMORE CAUSE DAMON FAILED YOU!

Let Elena burn in her fucking coffin and move on!

Ps: Kai is back, it’s probably the time to have payback.

PS2: Abby is a vampire. So why the hell can she do magic etc? Did I miss something?

  • Roger: All right men. I'm going to turn myself in. exchanged for all of you to never be hunted by the Wold Government again.
  • Shanks: Captain no!
  • Buggy: There has to be another way!
  • Roger: Boys I know this is hard but I have one last order for both of you.
  • Shanks/Buggy misty eyed: Anything Captain.
  • Roger: I need you to kill anyone that goes near my Treasure. Keep it safe.
  • Shanks years later on den den mushi: Hey , Buggy, pal, sworn brother of mine.
  • Buggy: Shanks I hate your guts. What do you want?
  • Shanks: Oh nothing. Just to tell you it's time to fulfill Captain Roger's last order.
  • Buggy: Who the fuck is trying to steal Ace!?
  • Shanks: Marco the Phoenix and Sabo the Dragon Claw.
  • Buggy: Let's kill them and send their bodies to their loved ones. It's time for a Roger Pirate Crew reunion.
  • Shanks: Aw just like old times.
How Satsuriku no Tenshi Affected Me
  • Me: *Steals cousin's Chicken McNuggets without her looking"
  • Cousin: (Finds out she doesn't have it) *Glares at me* Why you--
  • Me: -Insert Cathy's laugh-
  • Me: *Scrolling through some random person's Instagram* That person got nice peepers...
  • Me: *Plays a video game for hours and gives up cuz I keep on dying* I don't give a flying f*ck anymore... Just kill me...

@fenriswaifu you didn’t ask for this and I didn’t wanna put it in the tags SO

As the Mormon legend tells it: Utah has seagulls because when they first made it out here they were beset upon by a plague of crickets and they were eating EVERYTHING. Prayers were said, fasts were held, and a bunch of California gulls appeared and ate the crickets. I guess they decided to stay after that? We do have two fairly big lakes right in the middle of the state, one is even salt water so like. Same thing as the ocean right?

Crown Princes of YA (Part two)
  • Maxon Schreave (The Selection): I found a new friend to induct into our circle of heirs to fantasy realms *whispers* and hopefully to l;ighten the mood of all our depressing situations.
  • Prince Kai (TLC): What's your story?
  • Cal Calore(Red Queen): I really don't belong here.
  • Dorian Havilliard(TOG): Why? What's wrong? It couldn't possibly be any worse than what we've already faced.
  • Cal Calore: My half brother and my stepmother manipulated me into killing my own father so now I've been exiled and lost my title and my family.
  • Maxon Schreave: Oh, that's... really sad. I'm sorry.
  • Prince Kai: Hey, you know what always helps for me when someone tries to steal my throne?
  • Cal Calore: What?
  • Prince Kai: Getting kidnapped by my girlfriend and her rebel group and then starting a revolution to try and fix this cruel, cruel world.
  • Cal Calore: *bursting into tears* My girlfriend and her rebel group already did that!
  • Maxon Schreave: *facepalms*

Can we talk about the fact that there were already hints in ep1 for what happened to Makkachin in this episode?

I mean, this scene where Yuko shows the magazine to Yuri…

if you look closely at the interview…

Interviewer: Makkachin is quite a large dog, isn’t he?

Victor: He’s a standard poodle and I have him for 3 years now. He sleeps a lot, so that’s maybe why he became so large. Another reason (for his size) might be that he often steals and eats food. He’s really good at doing that without being noticed by me.

And apparently Makkachin’s bad habit hasn’t changed after 12 years…

Makkachin, you naughty boy!

The Beatles as Cinnamon Rolls

Looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you: Paul

Looks like they could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll: George

Looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll: Ringo

Looks like they could kill you and would actually kill you: John