When I stay silent, you tell me I have no opinions.
When I voice them, you tell me they are wrong and I must stay silent.
When I am passive aggressive, you tell me I’m being petty.
When I am straightforward, you tell me I have no tact.
When I try being diplomatic, you tell me I have no morals.
When I am me, you say that’s the last person I should be.
When I was kind and bruised, you called me naive.
When I stopped caring, you said I was cold hearted.
When I tried to and started to melt, you said I was weak.
Now I say,
I am me.
And you say…
Well who cares what the hell you have to say!
Hey Sam - doing on this on anon because I don't want inadvertent blow-back, but it seems some on tumblr are planning to do a "boycott" by not posting/logging off/etc on Sept 1st (because staff is doing nothing re nazis and their ilk on tumblr). For some reason I want to say you've commented before on how while their hearts are in the right place it actually won't do anything that is noticed by staff etc? Or am I wrong? What do you think, Fandom Dad/Brother? Is this idea useful? What should we do
As far as I can recall I’ve never talked about how in general protest won’t do anything – I don’t actually know enough about how tumblr measures metrics to say that, and I wouldn’t feel at all comfortable telling people not to boycott just because I thought it wouldn’t help, unless I had a better idea to share. So I think on that score you may be confusing me with someone else. Or misremembering something I said about how staff doesn’t seem to give a fuck about what we say. Tough to say. My memory is poor. *squints at own journal*
In re: what you should do, I don’t feel comfortable telling people what to do about a boycott without actually having seen discussion of it, which I haven’t – I wasn’t aware it was in the works. A boycott to protest @staff inaction over white supremacists on Tumblr is something I would be in favor of in a general sense, but without more information on who is suggesting it and what people are saying I can’t speak to this specific boycott. (By all means if you guys have links feel free to drop them in comments.)
However, generally speaking, when situations like this come up, what you should do is stop and think about what your participation will demonstrate about you and your values. Whether or not it causes immediate or long-term change, participating will demonstrate solidarity with and support for those who have planned it. So I guess the question to ask yourself is where you want to stand. That may not always be with the protesters. Not every march is a march you want to join. The tiki-torch fascists were “protesting” too, after all.
So I always believe you should look at who’s protesting, look at what values they’re presenting (particularly as regards intersectionality, looking at you Chicago Dyke March), and look at “what good” it will do as a distant third. Make your choice based on whether you think your voice should be part of that particular shouting, whether or not the shouting has any effect.
Sorry to bother but it happens that I have a friend who sees Supernatural an he says that Destiel will never be canon because Dean is too male chauvinist (this friend is not homophobic, he'd be okay with a gay couple) and that the whole show is male chauvinist too but I don't know how to argue it with him. I mean, I think that about the show too, but not so much about Dean Winchester. Maybe you could explain what you think about it?
Whoa, no bother at all - what are tumblr friends for if not proving RL friends wrong?
So, first - this has nothing to do with anything, but you woke my inner language monster, and now you’re going to suffer a paragraph of consequences, because chauvinism - now, that’s a word I haven’t heard in a long time. It’s a ‘70s thing, ins’t it? Male chauvinist pigs and all that. I know we used it back when I was desperate to be a Communist, and we comrade’d one another in a laudable effort to pretend the Berlin wall was still up and everyone was into LSD and free love and we actually had something to be angry about.
(Turns out the word comes from Chauvin, some officer guy in Napoleon’s army who was extremely patriotic, and that’s mostly what it means - how it came to mean “an attitude that the members of your own sex are always better than those of the opposite sex”, that’s something I wish I had the time to investigate.)
My second point is, why couldn’t someone be gay and chauvinist? Gay people are people, which means some of them are complete and utter dicks. I personally know at least two gay men who have horrific political opinions and are complete mcp despite being out and proud and sharing an apartment with a (male) partner and an assortment of cats, pianos and art books. I mean, in an ideal world, people who belong to a minority group should, like, avoid sympathizing for a majority group who’d have then hanged and quartered if at all possible, but sadly, this isn’t always the case. I still remember a thing that happened in Italy a few years back - a black guy who tried like nothing else to become a member of a Nazi ‘party’ and went all the way to court because they wouldn’t let him join. And he wasn’t doing it out of some cunning political design or anything - he actually held Nazi beliefs, but he’d apparently forgotten that, in the eyes of European Nazis, he was the ‘undesirable’ one. Whoops.
That said, I don’t see how the term applies to Dean at all. I mean, again - the definition of ‘male chauvinist’ goes as follow: “a male who patronizes, disparages, or otherwise denigrates females in the belief that they are inferior to males and thus deserving of less than equal treatment or benefit”. Now, I think I said before that when I started to watch the show, I didn’t particularly like Dean. He had this fuckboy aura, you know? The love ‘em and leave ‘em personality I just can’t stand in real men - and, well, I like to think even fictional men have to work very hard to be likeable when they’re like that. But even back then, I never thought of him as a male chauvinist. Sure, he was a bit of an idiot, but nothing more than that. Like, when he’s short and dismissive with women, that generally comes from a place of genuine concern - for instance, he didn’t want Haley to come with them to hunt the wendigo back in S02E01 because he knew she would get hurt, or worse, not because she was a girl.
His default functioning mode is to lie to everybody, and his tactics involve, first and foremost, to maintain a safe distance from others. This normally translates into flirting and smiling, which come off as a bit assholish when he’s in a position of power, and as downright irritating when he’s not (for instance, think about how he is around police officers - the textbook definition of ‘little shit’). So there’s that, and okay. But when he’s around women who can take care of themselves, like Ellen or Jody, he never treats them any differently than he would men. I think he even discussed the thing out loud, maybe with Jo? How his main categorization there was hunter vs civilian, and not men vs women? I’m slightly feverish and out of focus right now, so I’d rather not check, but I’m sure there was something like that. And also: one of the things I like about him, and, incidentally, another argument to use against your friend, is that Dean never thinks less of a woman just because he’s slept with her. This, in my book, is the mark of a true misogynist - how they tend to divide the world between ‘bitches who won’t sleep with me’ and ‘sluts who’ll sleep with anybody, including me’. I’m currently locked in a vicious fight with a colleague of mine who’s exactly like that, and it’s truly amazing how he can both be pathetically grateful to this woman he’s seeing because, yay!, sex and companionship, while disparaging her every chance he’s got because, you know, that’s not how proper women should behave. And Dean - Dean’s not like that. The most glaring example is perhaps Lisa - how they had a weekend of dirty, dirty, dirty sex and yet when they see each other again, Dean’s not dismissive of her in any way. Just like he never says a word against Cassie, or those two hunters we know he’s slept with, because that’s just not who he is.
(This goes both ways, of course: when faced with a female opponent, Dean never underestimates her and never holds back.)
The thing is, I think your friend may be referring to performing!Dean, because, even though Dean’s not like that, the world he lives in - that’s a different story. Or, well, that’s what we believed until S11 went and shit rainbows all over our screens, because, man - turns out hunters just don’t care? That there are women who hunt alone and gay hunters who’re well-known and respected in the community and whoa, Dean got it so wrong all these years. And this, as many discussions here on tumblr have been pointing out for months, is the real game changer: not Dean’s feelings, per se, but what happens around him. Because if Dean had grown up in this world, and not his father’s - well, we don’t even have to imagine what kind of person he’d be today. We know.
Do you think you achieved tumblr popularity (to the extent to which you are currently popular so don't say "oh i'm not thebootydiaries popular" no ur not but u are still popping) due to your looks?
I have had this blog for close to 8 years now and have never changed the theme or blog name or title or anything. I honestly don’t really do that much for it besides try to comment funny things and post selfies that make me look 10 times better than I look in real life so I’m not really sure. I know there have been a lot of thirst follows but I like to think my personality that comes through my posts and my humor has helped as well. I just like having people that support me on here and a place to rant about my life when I need to so regardless, thanks guys :)
I’ve never struggled
to write about anybody before,
And I’m still trying to figure out if that’s a good or bad thing
because all the poetry I write is
icy, blue eyes
and tear-soaked pillows
and talking to the moon
out of the window at 2am
when I used to talk to him.
But he left.
All my poetry is
is watching people walk away
and bleeding fingertips
because the shards of broken hearts
bear an awful resemblance to broken glass.
Maybe I don’t write about you
because you haven’t broken my heart,
Maybe I don’t write about you
because you don’t make my head pound
or my world spin
or the ground shake
like people say true loves should.
But maybe I don’t write about you
because you make me inexplicably happy
and I don’t know
how to write about things
that do anything other than
I don’t know how to write about things that make me happy // otherwise, all my words would be for you, 22/01/2016
Hey there! Glad people are enjoying the most recent update :)
Just as a heads up, over the next few days I’m trying to reorganize the blog a little bit - adding a long overdue FAQ page, a separate page for fan art, plot-related questions, and illustrated asks, along with seeing about setting up a queue for stuff :) So thank you in advance for being patient with me, and if you see anything weird it’s probably Fatal messing with you just me figuring out how to Tumblr more properly. When I’m all finished I’ll make an announcement and we can celebrate with snacks :D
Activist Goyim on Tumblr:
Educate yourself! The mainstream media may distort the truth or fail to report stories regarding racism, sexism, LGBTQ discrimination and violence, etc., so it's imperative that you stay vigilant and do your research! Seek out social action resources and spread stories of injustice like wildfire! Never let up!
Activist Jews on Tumblr:
Yes! But, hey, can we just ask: Why don't you ever post anything about acts of antisemitism when you expose hatred and advocate for social justice?
Activist Goyim on Tumblr:
Antisemitism? Hmmm. I mean, I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but idk it's not really covered in the mainstream news, so I just never hear about it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
you know I guess I am being rude to you and I didn't mean to do that i just don't want anybody who is on tumblr who wants to lose weight and see your blog and think that they don't have to because they think that they are perfectly fine without it bc you are and they end up suffering health problems because of it. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. its great to love your body but its also great to healthy.
Okay but you’re still saying messed up shit because I never make any claims to be a health professional and tell people to do anything with themselves other than to try not to hate every fiber of their being if they want, and to respect others. people are following me by their own accord. So…
Being unhealthy and loving yourself shouldn’t have to always be a symbiotic relationship; one should be able to occur with or without the other. Some of the people following me who are unhealthy because they’re overweight don’t care. That’s none of my business, and they deserve to love themselves as much as anyone else does. I’m not here to judge. Humanity has accomplished so much worse than some people supposedly eating too much and not exercising enough, and yet we still spend so many resources on focusing on eradicating fat.
Some of the other people following me that are unhealthy because they’re overweight might care, and they deserve to love themselves at every point in their journey to “healthiness” if they choose to make it.
Some of the people following me who are overweight and in perfect shape deserve to know that they are also worthy of peace with oneself.
No one owes anyone else healthiness, and I’m just here to remind them of that.
I just saw this one tumblr post which says “you can’t spell school without I want to stab myself” and some others that say they hate school.
I have experienced a lot of bad things in school like being bullied, getting bad grades, or having my parents scold me for not getting straight As. But never a time have I ever said I hate school. As a senior in college, I have to say school keeps me sane. I cannot imagine myself being locked up in my room not doing anything.
School (and college in particular) has let me meet SO MANY amazing people. Professors, friends I never thought I would be friends with, and crushes ;)
School has also let me know myself better. What I like and am good at, and what I’m bad at so that I could correct and better myself.
I’m an international student and my tuition at an American public university is crazy expensive. That’s why I try to enjoy every moment and do good in every class. You guys have a lot of opportunities of going to school for much lower tuition fee so pls use it and appreciate it. Try to love it so going through school everyday doesn’t stress you out too much.
I understand some people (teachers and friends) can piss you off but surround yourself with positive people. Move on. Find yourself and find friends you can click with, and talk to teachers who can help shape you into a better person.
I don’t wanna offend anybody, seriously this is just a rant and my honest opinion. :)
I was just talking to heyashb about this topic earlier. How, no matter who you are, if people like your work and follow you on the internet, they develop their own idea of what you are like. This persona may have a lot in common with what you are actually like. Or it might not. And your followers will happily follow your blog/facebook/twitter, until the day comes that you post something they don’t agree with. They then have two choices. 1. Unfollow you and look for someone who they can feel comfortable with 100% 2. ‘Confront’ you about your own personal opinion and act as though you have committed a violent felony in the presence of young children and baby animals
We all wish people would just pick the first option. But they don’t.
Although of course we all love our followers, our blogs were created by us to express ourselves. Sometimes that idea you have in your heads of what we are like does not match up with the real thing. We might have opinions that upset or offend you. Or there might be a misunderstanding. I personally choose to examine my words and actions for the sake of others but not everyone is like that. Some people just want to let forth a stream of consciousness and it’s their blog so it’s their right to do so.
If someone is truly offensive to you, please for the love of god just unfollow them. Confrontation solves NOTHING. You’re just annoying yourself because you are not going to change that person you were following into the one you wish they were. If you do manage to convince someone to censor themselves for your sake, you’ve only succeeded in making that person keep their opinions to themselves so you’ll like them. To me that’s sad. Why shouldn’t our online community be full of people who feel safe enough to speak their minds?
I have seen a lot of blogs with 'welcome’ notes that beg you to message them before you unfollow if they did something wrong. I am NOT one of those blogs. I am 100% happy to wish you a fond farewell if anything I say or do upsets you in any way. My inbox is always open if you feel the need to correct me on something, but I’m not holding anybody hostage. Tumblr is just like any place else. Stick around until it’s not fun anymore. If my pro-black, anti-racism, anti-whitewashing, pro-all women, pro-queer people, pro-people of color, costuming & every day life blog is making you unhappy and ruining cosplay for you, there’s the door.
until i came across your blog i was positive that no one else liked mary. i'm sick of all this hate too lol no one ever says anything bad about moriarty, and i'm sure if people did everyone would throw a fit. i mean yeah you don't have to like her but you don't have to be obnoxious
bless you anon. bless you a thousand times. i’m done with the hate on mary too. i really can’t stand it anymore. and it’s absolutely impossible to blacklist.
people are hating on mary constantly and it keeps getting almost casual now on tumblr. it’s not even objective critic on her character writing or development (which would be totally fine and welcome) - no it’s just rude and childish hate because she comes in the way of johnlock. so she and the baby have to die. that is a gruesome and disgusting thing to say people, and i read it every day on tumblr. it makes me sick to my stomach. i love johnlock a lot and i love mary a lot. surprise! you can like a gay ship and still not hate blindly and unjustifiably on a female character.
and about moriarty; i really love moriarty (just look at my url), he is evil and bad but the character is amazing and brilliantly written and just so much fun. but people don’t hate on him because; he’s a man. so he’s allowed to be a bad guy. because he is still hot and males are allowed to do immoral things and still be loved by the fandom. yet if a female character does something even partly selfish and in the morally grey area she’s a “bitch” and a “whore” and “needs to die”.
this. is. wrong. and i needed to say that. and i’m not even sorry about this rant because all the time i have been on tumblr i’ve never said anything. i never even once openly said my opinion about anything on tumblr. i kept my mouth shut. but i will not take this shit anymore.
ps: this may cheer you up a bit though; i know a lot of people on tumblr who love and appreciate mary. so not all hope is lost, my dear anon. :)