GOD sometimes i just say things that are so bitchy!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate it!!!!!!! i just say shit that can be so MEAN without thinking about it and i make people feel like shit!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel like such a fucking awful person sometimes jfc
you know ever since I broke up with my ex I keep thinking about my future because surely this is what i needed to go through to understand my own feelings.
i feel like i’m never gonna love more than a platonic love - like i wanna love you but I just don’t feel romantic feelings for people? i feel like it’s just never gonna work with me cause I won’t have that feeling.
like i wanted him to be happy because i’d never love him in the end like how i kept trying to make it work in the end… but like i feel like im gonna end up alone and unhappy cause i will never be able to “love” someone.
can straight people not make jokes about gay/bi people being in denial of their sexuality and their same sex attraction? Like seriously they’re dealing with a lot of internalised homophobia. It’s a fucking tragedy not some spectacle for your own amusement, like “lol!!! we all realised it before you… haha so much denial it’s hilarious..” Who the fuck do you think made it so they’re struggling to accept it/in denial in the first place? you fucking heteros, that’s who.
i’m so sad in such a profoundly deep way. i feel like nothing anyone says or does can comfort me anymore. i’ve always taken comfort in being given attention and validation in moments of weakness because that’s the nature of the beast but recently it’s as if something has changed and it doesn’t matter how much attention, affection, or support i get - i feel so hollowed out and detached. idk if this is even dissociation at this point. i feel real, i just can’t find relief from anyone or anything.
Black butler Twin Ciel theory, the reason Soma was attacked!
PEOPLE I HAVE JUST COME UP WITH SOMETHING SO FITTING IT’S SCARY! THE TWIN CIEL THEORY HAS A POSSIBLE CONNECTION TO WHY SOMA WAS ATTACKED!!!
I thought over Soma being attacked, and something suddenly clicked and pieces suddenly fell into place.
Like I said in the last post I think the dead Ciel shot Soma and killed Agni. But, from what I have noticed is that dead Ciel was ONLY going after Soma. You may be thinking ‘ Then why did he kill Agni? ‘ and the answer to that is that Agni kept getting in the way.
Remember? the dead Ciel was trying to get to Soma and Agni kept interfering. Also Agni locked Soma away to keep him safe why? because dead Ciel is clearly after Soma and Agni’s job is to protect him with his life as Soma is his sun ( light in the dark).
Now that is explained and made clear HERE IS THE REASON WHY DEAD CIEL MAY BE TRYING TO KILL SOMA.
So, in a flashback during our Ciel + dead Ciel’s past they were trying to make some food to help their mother get better. And a line which dead Ciel says is this “ I don’t need fake brothers” this line sounds strange and it gives you the feeling that he already has a brother and he’d want no other brother ( he only wants our Ciel as his brother).
So dead Ciel only wants our Ciel as his brother and he states he doesn’t want FAKE BROTHERS.
Now what does this have to do with Soma being attacked? Well before in the last post I said dead Ciel attacked him because our Ciel and Soma are close. But! I was close to the possible answer but, not close enough until now that is.
Because you see Soma said something very recently back in Chapter 119 during the plot against Bravat, and maybe you have forgotten. But Soma said this about our Ciel below
This seems like nothing but being supportive however isn’t it a bit strange? Not too long after chapter 119 Soma just happens to get attacked by dead Ciel supposedly.
Soma happens to be older than our Ciel and he happens to be very similar to dead Ciel y’know Ciel’s real brother. They’re both social, optimistic, caring, friendly, and OLDER than our Ciel.
And last post I said that Soma and Ciel are close, and as a matter of fact Soma is the closest to our Ciel than anyone else. As it is proven a few times and by that I mean like for instance in the recent chapter when our Ciel shouts at the unconscious Soma that he should have stayed out of his business.
He has never reacted so strongly towards someone who has gotten hurt until now of coarse since our Ciel is shaking and gritting his teeth. While reading I thought that our Ciel might cry and I was kind of moved a little but Ciel has his pride which stops him from crying.
So finally I have layed down all of the information NOW FOR THE ANSWER!
Dead Ciel attacked Soma because he feels like he is taking his place as our Ciel’s older brother which makes Soma a fake brother .
Dead Ciel doesn't want fake brothers and Soma see’s our Ciel as his little brother. In other words dead Ciel may feel like he is being replaced by Soma and he is very upset about that or even angry.
Also before I stated that Soma and Dead Ciel are similar in personality and I also said that Soma and our Ciel are close. Our Ciel puts up with Soma and his playful and happy antics.
Our Ciel is almost used to the kind of behavior that Soma displays and even in welcomes it in his own way. But because Soma is like his dead brother wouldn't that make our Ciel feel closer and more comfortable with Soma? It does indeed as like I said our Ciel is closest to Soma.
Dead Ciel is not quite human as last chapter something inhuman attacked Agni. That links to the theory that Undertaker is our Ciel + dead Ciel’s grandfather.
I have a feeling that dead Ciel went to that townhouse knowing Soma was there so then he went to kill him because he is upset about being ‘ replaced ‘. If he had any ill will towards our Ciel he could have simply gone to the mansion or tracked him down since he’s supposedly now a supernatural.
And the fact is that he does not dothat and goes to the townhouse where Soma stays! our Ciel was visiting Soma. He doesn't live there and only goes to the townhouse to visit Soma.
Therefore it seems clear that dead Ciel was only after Soma not our Ciel.
Not only that but dead Ciel wrecks our Ciel’s room while trying to leave him a message. I’m not quite sure what the message means however our Ciel seems to know.
However! I have a new explanation about what the message means. The message says “ Who stole the candy from my tummy? “
I said before in the last post that the sentence is childish and I saw it as the souls being sold. BUT now here is something which fits in more with my new theory about Soma’s reason for being attacked by dead Ciel.
The message sounds playful. Something an older brother would say when they know their younger sibling has taken a sweet from them when they thought he wasn’t looking.
And Ciel loves sweets and dead Ciel could also like sweets by what the message says. And the message is dead Ciel’s way of telling our Ciel
“ I’m back “
It makes sense because by the reaction our Ciel has it tells us that it is something he encountered before. A time perhaps when dead Ciel caught our Ciel sneaking a sweet from his plate and then he says in a playful tone “ Who stole the candy from my tummy “. Dead Ciel was going to eat it sending the sweet to his tummy until our Ciel took it.
That is all for now.. This took some time thinking about so please don’t re-post and don’t re-blog anywhere :)
My latest post was linked from a couple of big blogs and news sources, apparently copying from each other, with the quote/summary:
Slate Star Codex: “The problem is that there’s some weird tribe of fact-immune troglodytes
out there, going around refusing vaccines and voting for Brexit, and the
rest of us have to figure out what to do about them.“
That’s the opposite of my argument. I’m using it as a straw man in order to knock it down. I don’t understand how people could quote that and then attribute it to me with no further explanation. This happens every time I try to deal with a controversy responsibly. People take the most inflammatory thing in the post, even if it’s the opposite of what I believe, and try to convince everyone it’s my opinion. I don’t know if this is some sort of passive-aggressive campaign against me, or some sort of terrible law of media dynamics, but it’s so annoying.