don't put me on a shelf

formerinterncurrentmayor  asked:

This really pissed me off today, but like how freaking hard is it to put a frozen food back in the freezer, I don't even give a damn if it's not in the exact place since I'm gonna have to recover the freezers anyways, but don't leave is on a shelf to go bad!

anonymous asked:

Hi i saw a fix where dan and phil were roommates at uni and dan wore Only thigh length shirt to bed, and phil put everything on the top shelf so dan coulded reach it and had to stand on his toes? I was reading it before and now I've lost it. I checked the height difference tag but I don't think it was there, could u help me find it?

Zenith And Nadir - Cute short 5'3 Dan doesn’t wear anything but a big knee length t shirt to bed. His uni roommate Phil is 6'3 and Dan thinks he is a jerk because he refuses to help him get stuff off their high shelves, little does he know it’s because Phil knows the higher he reaches up the more his shirt raises at the back which means the more of his cute bare butt he gets to see…

- Eliza

  • Me: Okay, so, I found signs of chewing on the oatmeal container, Link, so what I'm going to do is put you on the top shelf of the pantry so you can leave some cat scent and hopefully scare the mice away until I can get some traps.
  • Link: I DON'T WANT TO GO UP HERE THIS IS SCARY NO NO NO- Oh, what's this?
  • Me: Okay, that should be enough. Come down now.
  • Link: No.
  • Me: No, seriously, you have to come down now.
  • Link: I live here now. I am tallest cat ever. HI MISTY I AM TALL LOOK AT ME I AM TALL!
  • Misty: Great. (goes to eat his food while he's distracted)
  • Me: Link, don't jump down to the next shelf, it's too narrow for you to-
  • Link: (jumps)
  • Me: I don't know what I expected when I started this, but admittedly, I was very, very stupid. Misty, I should've sent you.
  • Misty: I would've clawed your face off.
  • Me: And that's why I sent Link. Hey, can you come out now?
  • Link: No.
  • Me: You're stuck, aren't you?
  • Link: NO. There's just- Something. I want to do here. In the super narrow self you use to hold cans of tuna because everything else is too tall.
  • Me: Get off the shelf.
  • Link: NEVER.
  • Me: (sighs, shakes treat bag)
  • Link: (flings himself off the shelf with such force that he takes half the tuna cans with him)
  • Me: You're an idiot.

anonymous asked:

Parents annoy me so much. I used to work in a kids shop and parents would take a toy off a shelf, wave it in the kids (around 2-4 yrs) face and be like "ohh, look at this, ain't it cool?", put it back (in the wrong place, then they'd scream at the child if the child picked it up. Like, they're only doing what you've shown them to do, if you don't want them touching it don't wave it in the kids face.

Please tell me that other people have conversations like this with their books
  • DD: (reshelving books in the upstairs bookshelves while searching [fruitlessly] for THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS so its cover can get scanned)
  • DD: ...Yeah, Phil, I like you but you don't get to be next to Sophocles... Sophocles, how about we put you over here by Plato's DIALOGUES... wow, who knew I had this many editions of the Dialogues... Clive, what are you doing up here, you belong down there...
  • C. S. Lewis: No, I want to be with the philosophers.
  • DD: Stop it, you have your own whole shelf. Look at them all.
  • C. S. Lewis: I don't want to be down there, I want to be up here.
  • DD: Clive Staples Lewis, STFU, you're going down here.
  • C. S. Lewis: You used to be a lot more respectful to me.
  • DD: Yeah, that was till I turned sixty and started picking up on some of your tone. I love you, you big Belfast dork, but I wish to God Joy had caught up with you two decades earlier. Heaven only knows what Narnia would have looked like instead of what we've got.
  • C. S. Lewis: Now I'm feeling unloved. You should feel guilty!
  • DD: I should do what I damn well please, which is shelve you wherever I like. You get down there and just be grateful I don't take all your fiction and shelve it next to Le Guin.
  • C. S. Lewis: (sudden silence)
  • DD: Yeah, she'd put a flea or three in your ear, I bet.
  • Ursula K. Le Guin: Hey, how come _I_ don't have my own shelf?
  • DD: (eyeroll) Oh, don't _you_ start....

Vile is the denial
Of my trial
I am not suicidal
Only tired
Of myself
Of this place
Of knowing I’m a disgrace
But my mind
It will wind
Back through time
To when I smiled warmly
Spoke clearly
Loved dearly
Kept people near to me
But that is gone
I am alone
And that is vile

How many miles
Have I come?
What have I done?
What will I do to myself
To get me back
To change the past
And make it last
For once and for all
I will stand tall
This is my trial
It is not vile
Only timid
Afraid of itself
Of being put back on the shelf
Of desire to be
But never was
It will be done.

anonymous asked:

My girlfriend's father has coyote-dirt eyes. She's getting ready, her hands are shaking. Don't worry, I say, I keep monsters like him under my bed. I see the bravery in her. At the party there's a glass on a shelf of crystal tumblers. His eyes watch me 4,5,10 times because he knows in my country guns are illegal but my body is an armoury. He makes his way over & brings a few men with him. She stands her ground, puts my hand on her back. She doesn't shake. New money is my currency. He can't coun

You’re back. And still incredible.

anonymous asked:

What if Matt and Matthew go grocery shopping and Matt is following Matthew around like a child. Matt strays occasionally to try to sneak something they don't need into the cart, like gummy bears or an extra pack of bacon, Matthew always takes it out of the cart and makes Matt put it back. After they are already sitting in the car, groceries packed inside Matthew gives Matt a kinder egg. Matt hugs Matthew before smiling down at the little sweet as he peels off the foil.

Matts such a baby (he keeps all the toys on a windowsill or shelf from eggs matthew buys for him) ((u guys can’t tell me u didnt do this))