ya lit meme: eight otps (3/8) — adam parrish & ronan lynch
once, when adam had still lived in the trailer park, he had been pushing the lawn mower around the scraggly side yard when he realized that it was raining a mile away. he could smell it, the earthy scent of rain on dirt, but also the electric, restless smell of ozone. and he could see it: a hazy gray sheet of water blocking his view of the mountains. he could track the line of rain travelling across the vast dry field towards him. it was heavy and dark, and he knew he would get drenched if he stayed outside. it was coming from so far away that he had plenty of time to put the mower away and get under cover. instead, though, he just stood there and watched it approach. even at the last minute, as he heard the rain pounding the grass flat, he just stood there. he closed his eyes and let the storm soak him.
that was this kiss.
they kissed again. adam felt it in more than his lips.
“Say my name.” I told him.
“Why?” He asks.
“Just do it. Please.” I reply, clenching tighter onto his jacket.
Then he spoke the hopeless 7 lettered name and from that moment, I knew,
Nothing was the same. Nothing was going to be the same again. There was no joy in his voice; no happy memories, not a single bit of care.
I let go of his jacket and walked away.
Never did I ever write my name the same way again.
You know what I’ve just noticed? You know what breaks my heart?
In this scene, when Lexa tells Clarke “Ai gonplei ste odon”, and Clarke responds by “No, I won’t accept that”, you can see Lexa slightly smiling.
You’re driven to fix everything for everyone.
Even in her last moments, Lexa lovingly smiles, and stares at Clarke. She’s staring at the girl who always makes the best decision for her people, the girl who never backs away from a possibility to make peace with her ennemies, the girl who always wants to save as many people as she can.
With her last bits of strength, she smiles and stares lovingly at Clarke.
What she finds is partly comfort, because she knows the girl she loves will always be herself. She will always seek the best in life. Even in the worst situations.
But as we can see, Lexa has tears in her eyes. She unsuccessfully closes her eyes to hold back her tears, but knows some are still escaping.
Now, do you believe Lexa, Commander of thirteen clans, a long time trained fighter and leader, who is used to suffering in silence, both physically and mentally, who willingly grabbed a sword with her bare hands, freshly and quickly slicing them in the way, would cry?
Yes, taking a bullet freaking hurts, but Lexa wouldn’t cry at the physical pain.
Lexa is crying, because as much as she finds comfort in seeing that Clarke is, and will always be, herself in any kind of situation, she knows who she’s leaving behind. She knows that she’s once again abandoning Clarke, and that, once again, Clarke will be hurt because of her. Only this time, Lexa wasn’t the one to make that choice.
This time, they’re not in the cold, dark woods near Mount Weather. They’re in Polis, the place that made Clarke fall for Lexa once again, a place reflecting hope, and life. They’re in Lexa’s home, a place where they exchanged rough, and yet sweet conversations, where Clarke found peace while drawing Lexa in her sleep, where she found Lexa’s fears and hopes for the future; but mostly, where they found each other, going desperately and hungrily after each other’s lips barely a few hours ago.
Lexa was never afraid of dying, but this time, just to lay by Clarke’s side in their bed, she wishes she could just breathe a little longer.
And this time, as Clarke kisses her goodbye, Lexa falls asleep for good, only wishing she could hold those lips against her own forever.