don't look at me i don't know what i'm doing

Sometimes you can’t let go of what’s making you sad, because it was the only thing that made you happy.
  • McGonagall: So. Who broke the tea pot? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
  • Hagrid: I did. I broke it.
  • McGonagall: No. No you didn't. Albus?
  • Dumbledore: Don't look at me. Look at Severus.
  • Snape: What?! I didn't break it.
  • Dumbledore: Oh that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
  • Severus: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
  • Dumbledore: Suspicious.
  • Snape: No it's not!
  • Sprout: If it matters, probably not, but Horace was the last one to use it.
  • Slughorn: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
  • Sprout: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the tea cart earlier?
  • Slughorn: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that Pomona!
  • Hagrid: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it Minerva.
  • McGonagall: No! Who broke it?!
  • Snape: Minerva...Filius has been awfully quiet.
  • Flitwick: REALLY?!
  • [Everyone starts arguing]
  • McGonagall: [later] I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little too chummy around here.
  • what she says: I'm okay
  • what she means: Can I say my shit? Can I say my shit? I've got lots of shit to say. I've got lots of shit to say. I can't fit my hand inside a Pringle can, I have a huge amount of trouble fitting my hand inside of a Pringle can. I can get my hand like four inches into the can but then I have to tilt the can into my mouth but then a bunch of crumbs have accumulated at the bottom of the can so they all go spilling onto my face. What I'm trying to say is the diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. I'll say it again. The diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. Two radiuses of a Pringle can is way too small. If you feel me, put your hands up, Come on! If you feel me, put your hands up! Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside of a Pringle can! Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can, your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can. You think you can, I know you can't, you think you can. Pringles! Listen to the people, I am sure ninety percent of the complaint letters you get are about the width of your cans?! Just... make them wider?! I've overdone the Pringles thing, sorry. I want to have a daughter. I want to have a daughter so I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands in the Pringle can. Yes, I'm still on the Pringle cans thing! Yeah! I'll move on, alright? But that is priority número uno. I don't go to the gym because I'm self-conscious about my body but I'm self-conscious about my body cause I don't go to the gym. Irony can be so painful. That's a Catch-22. Let's do this! I went to Chipotle, I went to Chipotle, got myself a chicken burrito. I went down the line and I got all these ingredients and at the end of the line the guy tried to wrap the burrito but half of the shit inside the burrito spilled out. He still wrapped it. I was like, dude you should have warned me! You're a burrito expert, you should have told me halfway through: "Hey, man. You might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here" Do you fucking think I want a messy burrito? No one wants a messy burrito! The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained within the confines of the tortilla. I wouldn't have gotten half of the shit if I knew it wasn't gonna fit in the burrito! Alright? Look I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got half of it! Like, I'm okay with small mistakes, if you've got no more chicken I'll take pork. But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit. Man, I wouldn't have got half of it, like half of it, like, half of it, like, half of it, like half of it right now,I think it's time I think it's time, I think that we break this down. I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are pringle cans, and burritos. The truth is, my biggest problem's you. I want to please you but I want to stay true to myself. I want to give you the night out that you deserve but I want to say what I think and not care what you think about it. Part of me loves you, part of me hates you, part of me needs you, part of me fears you. And I don't think that I can handle this right now, handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. Look at them, they're just staring at me like, "come and watch the skinny kid with a steadily declining mental health and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself." I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. They don't even know the half of this right now, they don't even know the half of it. But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show so I should probably just shut up and do my job so here I go. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got half. You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme and if they still don't understand you then you run it one more time. I don't think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) I don't think that I can handle this right now (Hoo!) If you think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) Right now (Haa!) Now, handle this right, handle this right, handle this right now.Thank you, good night! I hope you're happy.
dad and i watch captain america: the winter soldier
  • dad: oh god it's starting shut up i've been waiting for this for months
  • (movie starts)
  • dad: THESE ARE THE BICEPS OF FREEDOM
  • dad: i don't know what's happening but the french guy fighting cap looks like french macklemore
  • me: how do you even know who macklemore is?
  • dad: i'm hip. i'm cool
  • me: don't you do it
  • dad: i'm gonna pop some tags, only got 20 baguettes in my pocket
  • (five minutes later)
  • dad: is that the Falcon? that's totally the Falcon
  • me: how do you know?
  • dad: i used to read the comic books trust me on this i'm an expert. his superpower was that he could talk to birds
  • me: birds?
  • dad: i mean in hindsight it probably wasn't the most useful thing ever
  • dad: if this winter soldier is supposedly a ghost in the machine that nobody's ever seen, and nobody will ever catch, you would think showing up in broad daylight and blowing up cars would not be his modus operandi
  • dad: how the heck did he laser through concrete??
  • me: idk dad it's nick fury he can probably do whatever he wants
  • dad: i'm sorry attractive nurse who just so happens to live next door, my heart belongs to a seventy year russian dude with a bionic arm
  • me: what
  • dad:
  • dad: nick fury isn't dead. justice never dies. he probably has a billion clones in some top secret storage facility, just waiting for their organ harvest.
  • me: ew dad gross no
  • dad: i really relate to that apple store employee
  • me: we all do dad
  • dad: oh that's that guy from the first movie! i remember him! he was my favorite, his eyes were so blue, and he loved steve so much. i wanted them to get together
  • me: dad good god
  • dad: he was a little less marilyn manson at that point though
  • dad: not that guyliner isn't a good look for this guy
  • dad: when a deadly russian assassin wears eyeliner, it's 'he's so dreamy' and 'wow what a badass'
  • dad: but when i do it it's 'you're too old' and 'bald guys can't pull off make-up'
  • me: dad it was halloween and it was one time you need to let this go
  • dad: so bucky barnes, aka cute cocky guy who died in the first movie, aka steve roger's best friend/boyfriend, is a top secret super scary brainwashed hydra agent?
  • me: mmm-hm
  • dad: called it
  • dad: do you think single handedly destroying jets is just a common, everyday thing for cap? punch a few tanks, feed a few pigeons, take out a plane, help old ladies cross the street...
  • dad: captain america is like your grandad minus the booze and the cussing
  • dad: in all honesty that was a little anti-climactic
  • dad: i was 100% sure nick fury was gonna descend majestically from the heavens, 'All I do is Win' blaring in the background, and single-handedly save everyone's ass
  • dad: scarjo and chris evans are two of the most beautiful people in the world and they are both in this movie and i don't know how to feel about it i have butterflies in my stomach i'm a schoolboy again
  • me: you know on second thought we should have brought mom
  • dad: where's hawkeye? where's bruce? where's tony? where's thor? WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER AVENGERS AS THE ENTIRETY OF SHIELD IS COMPROMISED AND NICK FURY DIES
  • me: maybe they figured steve could handle it
  • dad: maybe they're all lazy assholes
  • Leliana: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad. I just want to know.
  • Josephine: I did. I broke it...
  • Leliana: No. No, you didn't. Dorian?
  • Dorian: Don't look at me. Look at Cullen.
  • Cullen: What?! I didn't break it.
  • Dorian: Huh. That's weird. How did you even know it was broken?
  • Cullen: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken!
  • Dorian: Suspicious.
  • Cullen: No, it's not!
  • Sera: If it matters, probably not... Vivienne was the last one to use it.
  • Vivienne: I don't even drink that!
  • Sera: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the tea cart earlier?
  • Vivienne: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, darling!
  • Josephine: Alright let's not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Leliana.
  • Leliana: No. Who broke it?
  • Varric: Solas has been awfully quiet…
  • Solas: Really?!
  • Varric: Yeah, really!
  • [...]
  • Leliana: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a nug head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
5

When you’re under investigation and unable to act officially but you don’t give a f.. about UN’s orders.
Idk, I just wanted to draw theses two together.

6

Dark x Light

  • *everyone is standing around a broken coffee machine*
  • Jughead: So... who broke it? I'm not mad. I just wanna know.
  • *pause*
  • Betty: I did. I broke it.
  • Jughead: No. No, you didn't. Cheryl?
  • Cheryl: Don't look at me! Look at Kevin.
  • Kevin: What?! I didn't break it!
  • Cheryl: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?
  • Kevin: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
  • Cheryl: Suspicious.
  • Kevin: No, it's not!
  • Archie: If it matters, probably not... Veronica was the last one to use it.
  • Veronica: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
  • Archie: Oh, really? Then what were you doing over by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Veronica: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Archie!
  • Betty: Alright, let's not fight! I broke it, let me pay for it, Juggie.
  • Jughead: No. Who broke it?
  • Kevin: Jughead, Josie's been awfully quiet...
  • Josie: REALLY?!
  • Kevin: Yeah, really!
  • Jughead, to the camera while everyone argues in the background: I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
  • [The coffee pot is found broken at 221b]
  • Eurus : So, who broke it? I'm not mad, I just want to know.
  • Molly : I did, I broke it -
  • Eurus : No. No, you didn't. Sherlock?
  • Sherlock : Don't look at me. Look at Mycroft.
  • Mycroft : What? I didn't break it.
  • Sherlock : Hmm. That's weird. How did you even know it was broken?
  • Mycroft : Because it's sitting right in front of us, and it's broken.
  • Sherlock : Suspicious.
  • Mycroft : No, it's not!
  • Mary : If it matters... probably not... but Irene was the last one to use it.
  • Irene : Liar! I don't even drink that crap.
  • Mary : Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee table earlier?
  • Irene : I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Mary!
  • Molly : Alright, let's not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Eurus.
  • Eurus : No. Who broke it?
  • Greg : Well, John's been awfully quiet.
  • John : Really?
  • Greg : Yeah, really!
  • [Cut to Eurus in the room, the rest of them fighting in the background]
  • Eurus : I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

“TVLine has learned that Lonnie Chavis aka Young Randall on NBC’s freshman hit will guest-star on the CW superhero series as Marcus, a young alien boy who bonds with James (played by Mehcad Brooks) after the rugrat’s mother attacks National City.”

“There’s a lovely moment that I have with Mehcad, about accepting who you are,” shares David Harewood, who plays DEO boss man Hank Henshaw aka “Martian Manhunter” J’onn J’onzz. “James is reluctant to step in and help somebody, and I persuade him, as a hero, that sometimes you have to go against your own instincts and do something that’s right, as opposed to what you think might be right.

A young black boy bonding with an adult black male superhero?

Who, in turn, looks to another respectable black man as a mentor??

Generations of black male role models???

  • Robb: Who broke it?
  • Everyone: ...
  • Robb: I'm not mad, I just want to know.
  • Jon: ...I did it, I broke-
  • Robb: No, no you didn't. Arya?
  • Arya: Don't look at me, look at Bran!
  • Bran: What? I didn't break it.
  • Arya: Huh, that's weird, how did you know it was broken?
  • Bran: Because it's sitting right in front of us, and it's broken!
  • Arya: Suspicious.
  • Bran: No it isn't!
  • Rickon: If it matters, probably not, Sansa was the last one to use it...
  • Sansa: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
  • Rickon: Oh? Then what were you doing by the coffee counter earlier?
  • Sansa: I use the little wooden stirs to push back my cuticules! Everyone knows that, Rickon!
  • Jon: Okay, let's not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it.
  • Robb: No! Who broke it?
  • Bran: ...Y'know, Theon has been awfully quiet.
  • Theon: Really?!
  • Bran: Yeah, really!
  • Everyone: *Intense arguing*
  • Robb, watching from the back: I broke it. It burnt my hand, so I punched it.
  • Quartermaster: Who broke it?
  • Everyone:
  • Quartermaster: I'm not mad, I just want to know.
  • David: I broke it. I-
  • Quartermaster: No, no you didn't. Max?
  • Max: Don't look at me. Look at Neil.
  • Neil: What? I didn't break it.
  • Max: That's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
  • Neil: Because it's sitting right in front of us, and it's broken.
  • Max: Suspicious.
  • Neil: No, it's not!
  • Space Kid: If it matters.. probably not, but Gwen was the last one to use it.
  • Gwen: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
  • Space Kid: Oh, really, what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Gwen: I use the wooden stirs to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that, Space Kid!
  • David: Let's not fight, I broke it, let me pay for it, Quartermaster.
  • Quartermaster: No! Who broke it?!
  • Everyone:
  • Neil: Quartermaster...
  • Neil: Nikki has been awfully quiet.
  • Nikki: Really?!
  • Neil: Yes, really!
  • Nikki: OH, MY GOD!
  • Quartermaster, outside the mess hall: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

One of my pet peeves is people on this website reblogging that one image of the space shuttle Columbia breaking up during re-entry to their “aesthetic” blogs, like…um….

  • (Everyone standing around a broken coffee maker)
  • Richie: So, who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
  • Bill: I did. I broke it.
  • Richie: No. No you didn't. Mike?
  • Mike: Don't look at me. Look at Eddie.
  • Eddie: What?! I didn't break it.
  • Mike: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
  • Eddie: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
  • Mike: Suspicious.
  • Eddie: No it's not!
  • Stan: If it matters, probably not, but Beverly was the last one to use it.
  • Beverly: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
  • Stan: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Beverly: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that Stan!
  • Bill: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Richie.
  • Richie: No. Who broke it!
  • Eddie: Richie...Ben's been awfully quiet.
  • Ben: REALLY?!
  • Richie (by himself): I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
  • Seokjin: [Pointing at a broken coffee machine] So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just want to know.
  • Namjoon: I did. I broke it.
  • Seokjin: No. No, you didn't. V?
  • Taehyung: Don't look at me, look at Jimin.
  • Jimin: What?! I didn't break it!
  • Taehyung: Huh. That's weird. How did you even know it was broken?
  • Jimin: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken!
  • Taehyung: Suspicious.
  • Jimin: No, it's not!
  • Jungkook: If it matters, probably not... Hoseok was the last one to use it.
  • Hoseok: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
  • Jungkook: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Hoseok: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles! Everyone knows that!
  • Namjoon: Alright, let's not fight. Let me pay for it.
  • Taehyung: [Whispering] Jin, Yoongi has been awfully quiet...
  • Yoongi: Really?!
  • Taehyung: Yeah, really!
  • Seokjin: [To the camera as the others continue to argue] I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
  • JD: So. Who broke the coffee pot? I'm not mad, I just want to know.
  • Veronica: I did. I broke it-
  • JD: No, no you didn't. Heather?
  • Heather Chandler: Don't look at me. Look at Heather.
  • Heather Duke: What? I didn't break it.
  • Heather Chandler: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
  • Heather Duke: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
  • Heather Chandler: Suspicious.
  • Heather Duke: No, it's not!
  • Ram: If it matters, probably not...Heather was the last one to use it.
  • Heather Mac: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
  • Ram: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Heather Mac: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Ram!
  • Veronica: Alright, let's not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, JD.
  • JD: No. Who broke it?
  • Heather Duke: *whispering* JD, Martha's been awfully quiet-
  • Martha: Really?!
  • Heather Duke: Yeah, really!
  • *later*
  • JD: *talking to the camera* I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they'll be at each other's throat's with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
JB forgetting his keys
  • JB: *knocking intensely on the dorm door*
  • JB: Hello?! I'm locked out!
  • JB: *continues knocking on the door*
  • Bambam (from inside of the dorm screaming) : BABY KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK ON MY DOOR!!
  • JB: Bambam let me in!
  • Bambam: KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!
  • JB: BAMBAM!
  • Bambam: Looks like someone's angry...
  • JB: Don't you dare I know what you're gonna do- don't you dare jut your jaw out
  • Bambam: *juts his jaw out*
  • JB: I can't see you but I know what you're doing you are so dead when I get in there!
  • Will: Who broke the tea pot? I'm not mad, I just want to know.
  • Cordelia: I did. I broke it.
  • Will: No. No you didn't. Lucie?
  • Lucie: Don't look at me. Look at James.
  • James: What?! I didn't break it.
  • Lucie: Oh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
  • James: Because it's sitting right in front of us and its broken!
  • Lucie: Suspicious.
  • James: No it's not!
  • Alastair: If it matters, probably not, but Matthew was the last one to use it.
  • Matthew: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
  • Alastair: Oh really? Than what were you doing by the tea cart earlier?
  • Matthew: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that Carstairs!
  • Cordelia: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it Mr. Herondale.
  • Will: No! Who broke it?
  • James: Dad... Anna has been awfully quiet.
  • Anna: REALLY!?!
  • [Everyone starts fighting]
  • Will: [Later] I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little too chummy around here.
The Crows as John Mulaney quotes
  • Kaz: I’ll keep all my feelings right here and one day I’ll die.
  • Jesper: You know those days where you’re like, "this might as well happen"?
  • Inej: Everyone get out of my way! I just want to sit here and feed my birds.
  • Wylan: I don't look older, I just look worse.
  • Matthias: I also don't want me to be doing what I'm doing.
  • Nina: It is 100% easier not to do things than to do them, and so much fun not to do them - especially when you were supposed to do them.