don't lie to her like that


shh don’t tell anyone she’s reading on the job when she should be learning the dewey decimal system 


This is a (decently long, sorry for the lack of writing these past few days) one-shot for the below prompt! It… didn’t turn out exactly like the ask, but I hope you like it anyway! I’ve been wanting to try writing trans!lance for a while because I absolutely love that hc, and I really enjoyed writing this, so let me know if you guys like it, because I could definitely see myself doing another fic with it.

Trans! Lance where an asshole alien keeps miss gendering Lance and being transphobic and he starts to get upset and then the team overhears this happening and are about to kick the aliens ass.

I tried to make it gen… but it ended up being very klance, especially at the end… so uh… I hope you like it anyway! Sorry this always happens when I try to write gen fics.

Only half the team knew.

Contrary to their belief, Lance was actually an expert secret keeper. With a large family like his, he had to know when to keep his mouth shut. So, despite the loud, obnoxious, open persona he displayed for the others, he could also be sneaky.

He’d the had practice of years sneaking out of the Garrison, or even his house when he was little to go see the beach at night with his siblings.

So, keeping a secret on an unbelievably large castle ship with only six other people on it was easy.

Or at least, it should’ve been.

Keep reading

  • You’re innocent… and kind… and a good friend.
  • I trust you.
  • Rosaline Capulet is my friend. I will never lie to her. That is why she trusts me.
  • You’re all I have. You know the truth and you’re all I have.
  • I need you.
  • We trust each other.
  • I feel responsible for you.

All the ways to say I love you, without saying the actual words.

cyborgscholar  asked:

So I love Crash Course videos but the mythology series seems a bit oversimplified. Anyway he said that in the Norse pantheon goddesses don't have much of a role/much personality? Anyway, stories about goddesses, particularly Frigg?

I’ve got a bunch of asks about Frigg and Freyja, and also BOY FUCKIN HOWDY is that a lie. 

We see more of the male gods, true, but you have to remember that much of what we know of Norse myth was written down later by Christian scholars, and filtered through that lens. They didn’t like stories about powerful goddesses. So Freyja, the glorious, beloved, and terrible lady of beauty and war, who I always picture something like Galadriel in her fury, 

Is reduced to her roles of fertility and beauty, and many of her stories, such as how she got her cats, are lost. 

Frigg often gets reduced to her role as mother and wife, and while Freyja gets her dues as the somewhat wild lover of sex, people seem to consider Frigg…almost not at all when it comes to sex, which is odd to me. 

Frigg is the goddess of motherhood, but it should be remembered that motherhood is far from a soft art. She walked the world after the prophecy of her son’s death, extracting a vow from every living thing never to harm him (she missed mistletoe, unfortunately.) 

She’s the Queen of Asgard. She is the only one save for Odin himself allowed to sit in the throne. And while her husband rambles everywhere and has loved many women, she is the one and only that he always returns to. (They’ve actually quite a good relationship, one that seems based on mutual trust and respect and affection, and she’s even seen to outwit Odin himself a time or two. And unlike Hera, Odin’s occasional tryst with another woman does not seem to upset her. There’s a mention in one myth of, during a long absence on his part, her taking up with his brothers Vili and Ve until he got back. Odin didn’t seem to care about this in the slightest.)

She’s the lady of marriage, and not just any marriage but happy marriage. Here’s where her desexualization makes no sense to me;  she’s the lady of marriage, and motherhood, and children…and where do kids come from? One guess. 

(Sex. The answer is sex, btw.)

I mean. She married the God of Ecstasy (among many other things). And. Well, some of Odin’s many, many, many names include “Delight of Frigg” “Frigg’s Lover,” and “Dweller in Frigg’s arms/embrace”. So, yeah. To me, she embodies the joy of a healthy, enjoyable sexuality within a stable relationship, where Freyja is more the patron of the single, footloose and fancy free. If that makes any sense. 

She’s the patron of cottage arts, or those arts often governed by women, and which were often the basis of a large part of trade. Weaving and spinning, in particular. She’s a powerful sorceress and seeress, who can see the future in her weaving. 

She’s the lady of the hall. Remember, in the Norse world women ran the households, including all the finances because math was seen as something too powerful and magical for men. And in Frigg’s case…Odin is the consummate wanderer. Who do you think runs Asgard while he’s gone?

She’s the lady of diplomacy, which is a delicate and complicated art. She is the one who rules over times of productive peace within the social order. 

Dish Nation Interview
  • Chuey Martinez: Who's your biggest girl or guy crush of all time? Who is it and why?
  • Chyler: *points to Floriana*
  • Floriana: My gosh, I don't know, this is hard.
  • Flo: *turns to Chyler and points at her* Her
  • Chy: *still pointing to Flo* That one!
  • Flo: *points at herself* Flo-Lo
  • Chy: Flo-Lo!
  • Flo: I mean- I would say, I don't know, I kinda like this one. *locks arms with Chyler*
  • [Insert literal gazing into each other's eyes]: *Also lot's of Chyler looking at Flo in certain ways*
  • CM: Alright, I like that
  • Flo: Yeah
  • Chy: We're not going to lie
  • Flo: We're not going to lie, we match pretty well
  • Chy: We're not going to lie
  • CM: Yes you do. Ying and Yang
  • Chy: That's right
  • Flo: Yeah
  • CM: Perfect
  • [Insert even more gazing]:
  • Chy: Yeah, that's right
  • [Insert an small pause of just Chy and Flo looking at each other]:
  • CM: ... They're having a moment, alright
  • Flo: *laughing*
  • Chy: *pat's Chuey's back* And you are too
  • CM: I'm just here hanging out, they're having a moment
  • Chy: We're just gazing adoringly
  • Flo: *slightly inaudible* gazing(?)
  • Chy: as our significant others are probably watching going "KISS HER!"

I’m probably reading too much into this, but oh well.

So a lot of fans have noticed that Ruby’s new outfit looks a lot like both Penny’s and Pyrrha’s.

Originally posted by yukamononoke

Originally posted by mizukami-sakura

Originally posted by gingerslenderman

But can we talk about how:

Jaune has a belt like Pyrrha’s, in addition to her armor.

Originally posted by akumatized

Ren also has a red belt, as well as sleeves like Pyrrha’s.

Originally posted by yangsmash

Weiss’s new dress looks more like Pyrrha’s, similar to Ruby’s outfit change

Originally posted by bi-furious-fanboy

Yang is now wearing her hair in a ponytail, like a certain deceased red head, even though it must be harder to put her hair up with only one hand.

Originally posted by weissrose

And Blake’s new thigh highs look somewhat very familiar.

Originally posted by yukamononoke

If Qrow was a teacher at Beacon instead of Signal
  • Qrow: Alright, blonde coconut! What's your name?
  • Jaune: Ja-Jau-Ja...
  • Jaune: *stutters*
  • Jaune: I don't know if I can-
  • Qrow: *sings a very high note*
  • Jaune: *SCREAMS*
  • Qrow: *snaps Jaune's neck*
  • Qrow: What about you, whitehead? What's your story?
  • Weiss: Oh, well, my name is Weiss, and after I ace this academy, I'll become one of the defenders of Remnant.
  • Qrow: Wow. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders.
  • Weiss: Oh, well thank you so m- *gets headbutted by Qrow*
  • Qrow: Now listen up, you double deckered PIG FART! You don't get to be a defender of Remnant, 'TIL AFTER, YOU PULL YOUR HEAD, OUT OF YOUR HAMSTER HOLE!
  • Qrow: What about you, kiddo? Where do you see yourself in three years?
  • Ren: I plan to give my body in service to Professor Ozpin, sir!
  • Qrow: Oh. OH, YOU THINK THIS IS HAREM OF THE DEAD!? Boy, if you can't beat a Grimm Parasite, WITHOUT ANY DUST, then you shouldn't even bother trying to be with Oz!
  • Nora: *starts eating a pancake*
  • [silence]
  • Qrow: So. What's going on in this neck of the woods? You got something to eat there?
  • Nora: Yeah, I'm just eating a pancake.
  • Qrow: Oh. Pancakes, huh? You, uh...You like that flapjack?
  • Nora: Mhm.
  • Qrow: Alright. Well, uh, from now on, you'll be known as Pancake Girl.
  • Nora: ...I don't like that name.
  • [silence]
  • Qrow: ...You know, those are actually quite high in calories. You know what's a real good way for burning off calories?
  • Nora: ...What?
  • [cut to her running and crying]
Random Sentence Starters:
  • "Any time I say "asking for a friend" you know it's fake because I have no friends."
  • "God bless that ass."
  • "In eight hours I will have been awake for twenty four hours."
  • "If you want to get technical it costs exactly zero dollars to murder someone if you keep it simple."
  • "You can't snort Captain Crunch. That's what Cocoa Puffs are for."
  • "These skinny jeans are stifling."
  • "Are your pants made out of Fruit Loops?"
  • "Yoga pants are the reason corporations go bankrupt."
  • "Your mother would never lie to me."
  • "I'm pretty sure Ren and Stimpy were werewolves."
  • "It's like he has chicken pox but like... on his dick."
  • "Call the government."
  • "Everyone has that one emo band that got them through puberty."
  • "Between you and me I love her shoes but I hate everything that she stands for, if you know what I mean."
  • "The fact that the ocean exists is proof that God is a sadist."
  • "I don't speak German but I'm pretty sure that dude just said go fuck yourself."
  • "I'd sell my soul for a cheesy snack."
  • "I can't date guys who look better in eyeliner than I do."
  • "I didn't learn how to tie my shoes until I was sixteen and three quarters."
  • "If you know that vampires exist it's your civil duty to report that shit to someone."
  • "I'd really like to smack a bitch."
  • "Who gave you permission to breathe my air?"
  • "Would you rather fuck Edward Cullen or Peter Parker?"
Serious question (don't kill me)...

If it were Delphine who were sick, would Cosima be as supportive as Delphine has been?

I mean, don’t get me wrong I love Cosima and I will ship Cophine until my last breath but …

… can you realistically see Cosima taking a bullet for Delphine? Or killing someone for Delphine? Or crying because she has had to lie to keep Delphine safe? Or stick around when Delphine’s family treated her like she was the enemy, knowing she was hated? Would Cosima have become a stone cold bitch to protect Delphine? Can you see Cosima exiling herself (twice I may add) because she thought it would keep Delphine safe? Can you really tell me that Cosima would have stuck around and done all of these things for Delphine?

Because I really don’t think she would have 💔.

  • bismuth: an extremist, wanted to shatter enemy gems to win, attacks steven, and more than likely attacked rose when they disagreed with her
  • su fandom: bismuth was clearly in the right??? what's wrong with rose i mean seriously
  • me: what?? is wrong with y'all??? if you think murdering your enemies is the right thing???? why on earth??? are you watching??? steven universe???

Mini rant: 
But I have been following a pretty popular blogger on here who always goes deep for wlw relationships (brittana, clexa, sanvers…probably more). She always blogs these essays on representation. Has a really big following and seemingly introduces her followers to new shows etc.  

Yet The Bold Type is on Episode 9. Had probably some of the most beautiful wlw scenes on TV in awhile and: RADIO SILENCE.  And I know I’m all about “whatever do your thing…don’t watch” but it’s also so infuriating. 

I won’t say who it is so don’t ask, because I’m sure you all have other mutuals where it’s similar.  But jeez. What does this show have to give you?

It had been going on for a while. Rival papers, rival journalists. Clarke would get the tip, Lexa would arrive first at the scene – or vice versa. She rather liked it when it was her getting the story first, but her victories were just as frequent as Lexa’s.

There had to be a traitor in her office – there was one in Lexa’s after all, with Niylah feeding Clarke scoop after scoop just as soon as Lexa got word of them. Was Lexa flirting with one of her co-workers too? The thought was… oddly unpleasant.

Of course, there were the times when their rivalry, known (and barely put up with) by all, took a slight… detour and things between them would heat up in a very different way than usual.

Even though she would never admit it to anyone, those were the times Clarke revelled the most. Those were the times that made losing a few first hand stories almost worth it. Lexa didn’t need to know that, though.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

The voice, softer than her own, pulled the corners of Clarke’s lips up into a smile. She lay her chin on the chest underneath her, blue eyes playfully meeting green ones.

“Thank God none of our friends know about this,” she admitted, placing a soft kiss between Lexa’s breasts. “Raven and Octavia would tease me endlessly.”

To Clarke’s surprise, Lexa didn’t smirk; she frowned. “You haven’t told your friends about us?”

Clarke laughed and got off of Lexa, opting to lie down beside her. “What, like you have?” The deepening crease between those striking jade eyes was answer enough and she didn’t know how to react. “There is no us, Lexa.”

Suddenly Lexa was up, throwing covers off her lithe body and searching for her clothes among the jungle of Clarke’s bedroom floor. Clarke, in turn, was utterly confused, taken aback by Lexa’s sullen behaviour.

“Where are you going?”

“What does it look like, Clarke?” Lexa snapped as she pulled pants up to her waist. “I’m going home.”

“Why? We were just relaxing, I don't– what the hell is wrong with you?”

Lexa finished buttoning her shirt and heaved an exasperated sigh, turning to Clarke with a cold gaze.

“I get it, Clarke. We are rivals, we steal each other’s stories, and then we fuck to keep the adrenaline pumping.” Lexa’s voice was as gelid and stoic as her eyes. “It’s just curious that you still see it as that when we have been staying the night for over three months.”

Feeling exposed all of a sudden, Clarke sat up and pulled the blankets up to cover her chest. “We agreed that it was easier if you caught the morning train to your place,” she said defensively.

“I’ve got a drawer in your wardrobe, Clarke!”

“Not my fault you leave your clothes here all the time,” the blonde shrugged.

Lexa’s eye roll was worthy of some Olympic back flip medal or something. Were there Olympic medals for back flips? Clarke didn’t really know a lot about sports.

“You call me aloof and emotionally constipated, but I am not the one who keeps believing those easy ways out after three months of mornings after,” Lexa claimed, a hue of hurt in the rainbow of feelings in her voice.

Clarke was at a loss for words, so she said the first thing that came to mind. “We fuck. What’s the big deal about that?”

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, for Lexa just turned away with a huff and walked out, making sure to slam the door as she left.


They hadn’t talked for a month. Lexa had been keeping her distance: not coming any close to her stories, leaving Clarke alone to make the most of her own scoops. It would have been paradise, if not for the gaping absence of teasing remarks, insufferable smirks – any words at all. Clarke kept trying to steal some scoops for herself, but Lexa was relentless, never letting Clarke win.

In a fell swoop, Clarke had lost her fuck buddy and her rival. Every time she got to a place, Lexa would either be long gone or never show up at all. Journalism just wasn’t as fun anymore.

Clarke had loved the whole enemies/lovers dynamic, sleeping with none other than your greatest rival. After every hustle, they would fall into bed together, releasing their frustration and satiating their rivalry in each other’s arms, mouths, fingers. It was something Clarke had never experienced before.

Clarke was snatched out of her thoughts by a binder falling violently on her desk. She looked up to find Octavia glaring at her.

“What now, O?” Clarke asked impatiently. “Too much paperwork for your lazy ass?”

“Wow, Lexa really left your panties in a twist,” her brunette friend chuckled dryly. “Can you two please go back to fucking?”

Clark’s bewildered gasp and choke would have been funny if not for the situation they were in. “You know? she choked out in a spluttering mess.

“Of course I do,” Octavia frowned. “We all know Lexa lets you get half of her stories and then you two go home and fuck each other’s brains out. Or, well, did. Now you two just mope around like you lost your favourite candy.”

The knowledge that Lexa was doing just as bad as her gave Clarke an odd hopeful feeling. “She’s moping?”

“Of course she is. How would you expect her to react to a break up?”

“This was not– We weren’t even together.”

This time, Octavia laughed heartily, taking more than a minute to gather her bearings and turn to Clarke with a mocking expression.

“Sweetie, like or not, you two were dating for the past three months. You don’t do the morning after with someone you don’t care about.”

There it was again, the morning after. Clarke didn’t understand what relevance it had to the case. “I still don’t know why the morning after seems to be so important,” she grumbled.

Octavia just shook her head in disbelief. “You may be blonde, but you’re not blonde, Clarke. Don’t lie to yourself just because you’re afraid to face the truth.”


Clarke was determined to get this right. This story was Lexa’s, Niylah had promised, and she was going to get there fast enough to catch the brunette before she could leave.

She would also steal the story, but that was another story. Pun fully intended, Clarke decided in that moment.

When Lexa showed up, she was the image of beauty. Long brown curls tamed in a ponytail, her face was clean and open and probably what heaven looked like. Emerald eyes didn’t hide their owner’s shock to see her.

“Clarke,” Lexa half breathed, half gasped, eyes wide and lips parted.

Clarke had to remember the speech she had practiced at home, in front of her mirror, like a romantic loser.

“Lexa, I– Can we talk?”

Lexa eyed her suspiciously, but eventually agreed, with a discreet nod of her head. They headed to another room, making the interviewee wait for its five minutes in the limelight.

“What do you want, Clarke?” The hostility of Lexa’s tone made her flinch. She had a lot of explaining to do. “I will not go back to the way we were before.”

“I know, I know,” Clarke rushed to say, promising her memories of Lexa writhing under her that she would give them full her attention once she got home. “I don’t want that either.” At Lexa’s frown, she ploughed on. “I don’t want to go back to the way we were before, because I want so much more. I thought what we had was just an easy rivals with benefits situation. We would do the rivalling during the day, fuck during the night. You kept clothes at my place so no one would ever see you leave with the clothes of the day before on. In the middle of all the lying I did to keep myself from panicking, I forgot to realise that you started staying the night because I asked you to. And it went on for three months because I wanted you to. And I would ask and want you to stay the night because I needed to fall asleep and wake up next to you, because there is no greater feeling in the world than that of spending every hour of your day with the person you love.”

Lexa’s eyes were wide like saucers, but Clarke couldn’t stop now.

“That’s the other thing I forgot,” she admitted, her voice small. “I forgot that slowly but surely, I was falling in love with you.”

Lexa pressed her lips together pensively, letting the silence stretch before she broke it. “Why didn’t you tell your friends?”

“The same reason for all my other fuck ups: I was afraid. Telling them would mean they would be able to give me the advice I was dreading: that all those mornings after did hold meaning after all and that I couldn’t hide from my feelings anymore.”

Lexa nodded this time, still not making a sound. “Will you tell your friends now?”

Clarke couldn’t help but smile. “Already have.”

Another nod. “Are we still rivals?”

“You’re as much my enemy as when we started this whole thing.”

Lexa was sporting a small smile now, a crooked little thing that Clarke had always found adorable. “I would not have it any other way.”

“But Lexa, now you’re also my best friend and… If you give me the honour… My girlfriend.”

Lexa’s shy smile turned into a smirk. “Only if you admit that Polis is the superior newspaper.”

Clarke didn’t even gasp. “For you, I would quit the Arkadia.”

Lexa’s amused smile, however, showed she was just kidding. “No need. Wouldn’t want to end the rivalry, would we?”

In that moment – and the moment after, when she finally got to get reacquainted with Lexa’s lips –, Clarke knew that she wanted all the mornings after and the nights during and the afternoons before.

She wanted everything with Lexa.

  • Aries: Starboy // You talking bout me I don't see your shade, switch up my style I take any lane
  • Taurus: All I Know // You sleep one eye closed, to scared to get heartbroke
  • Gemini: False Alarm // She always leaves the man she loves, but the diamonds are forever
  • Cancer: Attention // Tell me how to love, it's been too long
  • Leo: Reminder // All I wanna do is make that money and make dope shit
  • Virgo: Secrets // It's a lie, a lie, I catch you every time
  • Libra: I Feel it Coming // You don't need a lonely night, so baby I can make it right
  • Scorpio: Six Feet Under // Real love's hard to find, so she don't waste her time
  • Sagittarius: Party Monster // I'm like, got up, thank the Lord for the day, woke up by a girl I don't even know her name
  • Capricorn: A Lonely Night // Better when we're both apart, we're no good for each other
  • Aquarius: Rockin' // I'm actin' reckless baby, I'm 'bout to lose it all
  • Pisces: True Colours // So if I love you, it'd be just for you

When I run, I don’t want you to follow.

Ofcourse, that’s what I’ll say.

But while those words pour from my mouth like a well-rehearsed lie, my mind will be screaming for your affection. And I won’t be able to tell whether or not I can keep up with accepting our reality.
—  Nicole Torres :// Existing Magic;
book of mormon-actual song titles
  • Hello!: If You Don't Believe In God You're Going To Die Alone
  • Two by Two: Congratulations! You Are Not Being Sent to Orlando
  • You and Me but Mostly Me: I'm Better Than You- That's What The Universe Says ft. Elder Price
  • Hasa Diga Eebowai: Our Life Sucks and So Does God
  • Turn It Off: Depressed? Compress.
  • I Am Here For You: Cunningham Just Wants A Friend
  • All-American Prophet: Wildly Inaccurate, Yes. But also a Bundle of Fun.
  • Sal Tlay Ka Siti: This Girl Gets Her Hopes Up
  • Man Up: Gotta Be Like Jesus; Now Flex!
  • Making Things Up Again: It's Okay to Lie, It's Right In Theory.
  • Spooky Mormon Hell Dream: Think Committing Crimes Is Bad?! Local Mormon Proves Hundreds Wrong.
  • I Believe: Even if Things Don't Make Sense They're Still Correct.
  • Baptize Me: Mormons' Excuse For Sex
  • I Am Africa: We are Africa, Not African.
  • Joseph Smith American Moses: This Girl Gets Her Hopes Shattered but At Least They Tried
  • Tomorrow Is A Latter Day: Ignore Your Impending Existentialism Because At Least We Have God

anonymous asked:

In season one, Isak says "you really don't know?" when Eva asks why he told everyone she had hooked up with Chris. What do you think would've happened if she'd guessed Jonas? Because she obviously didnt think it'd be her that he liked.

hey you! this is a super interesting question. I just watched that particular scene to kind of gather my thoughts on it and it really is striking to see how Isak never outright tells Eva it’s her he has feelings for and instead simply goes along with the conclusions Eva comes to. like, he had the opportunity to offer her the best lie on a silver platter but he never does, just gives her small crumbs of truth instead and lets her create a fake version of events he can hide behind. 

I’m quite sure that by this point especially, Isak was absolutely exhausted of having to keep so many secrets, and especially the biggest one, the one he held closest to his heart. and he wanted Eva to know the truth, the real reason he had done what he did and he’d have absolutely admitted to it if Eva had outright asked him if it was Jonas he had feelings for. you can see it in the way he looks at her during their conversation, like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, the desperate please, please, please just guess right so I can tell you and then maybe I won’t be so alone anymore written on his face. thing is though, she never did and giving an honest answer to a question is a world away from taking charge and throwing your truth into the world without being specifically asked to. 

Isak wanted his secrets out there but at that point in time, at least, he had no idea how to get it out of his head and into the universe and so he needed someone else to think of the right words to say. Eva had the chance and I do think that in any other situation she would have guessed correctly, would have found the right words for him, the way she did when she connected the dots about Noora and William, but in that kitchen she was, of course, too wrapped up in what was going on in her own universe to have a place for someone else’s. if she’d guessed right, everything would have changed, I think, but the universe said, oh, no, not yet and and that’s just how it sometimes goes.

When Mike Needs To Talk To His GF Drunk
  • Mike: Wait, wait, wait! I gotta text my girlfriend!
  • Ash: Dude, no! Why don't you just call her?
  • Rosita: You can't tell her that you were at a bar getting drunk!
  • Gunter: Just lie!
  • Mike: nO!
  • Johnny: LIE!
  • Mike: NO!
  • Buster: Are you that honest?