don't know i exist

I gave you something for your birthday that meant nothing and it was the giving that meant the world.

Lately I’ve been taking and I don’t know how to stop so I’ve been giving apologies back from my insides like I’m an apple tree. I know you only eat the ones that fall naturally. I don’t know how to be natural, I’m rotting and it’s tearing me up inside. I’m not growing anymore, I’m spilling at the seams and I don’t deserve to be here. You deserve more than the organ filled mess of me that you always clean up.

I’m sorry, is what this means. I wish guilt washes away. It was me that smashed the world. It was me that smashed the giving. It was me that smashed a heart.

I’ve forgotten what wholeness looks like. I’m terrified I’m going to hurt you if you stand on my pieces.

the thing about lotr that the movies don’t convey so fully is how the story is set in an age heavily overshadowed by all the ages before. they’re constantly traveling through ruins, discussing the glory of days gone by, the empires of men are much diminished, the elves (especially galadriel) are described as seeming incongruent, frozen in time….some of the imagery is even near-apocalyptic, like the ruins of moria and of course the landscape surrounding mordor

this is a strange thought to me, somehow: that the archetypal “high fantasy” story is set at the point where the…fantasy…used to be much higher? this is not the golden age; this is a remnant

10

you’re next to me in my life

happy birthday, amanda 💙

Yuuri has a picture of Victor and him as his lockscreen and wallpaper, maybe from their day at the beach or a picture someone took during their pair skate or a picture from practice where they are both sweaty and laughing and so in love.

But Victor has (two different) pictures of just Yuuri and he changes them a lot (because he takes a lot of pictures of Yuuri and would like to use them as a wallpaper all at the same time), and every time he opens his phone he just forgets what he was about to do and stares at the picture for a full five minutes, marvelling at the beauty of his husband.

And one time, Yuuri uses Victor’s phone because his own is dead (when Victor is still in the shower or sth bc you know The Hair) and Victor’s lockscreen is a picture Yuuri didn’t even know existed of him looking out over the city lights of Saint-Petersburg with a small smile around his lips while he’s absentmindedly patting Makkachin, and his heart just swells until he can hardly breathe, and he figures out how to make your phone switch wallpapers every time you open them and takes a bunch of selfies where he blows kisses and makes funny faces and just smiles, but he leaves the lockscreen the way it is. And now every time Victor opens his phone, his heart stops beating for a moment and whenever one of the pictures appear Yuuri took, he immediately calls him if he’s not around to tell him how much he loves him and asks him to get married again.

movies that should exist: a pride & prejudice modern adaptation
starring mindy kaling as elizabeth bennet & jessica chastain as darcy fitzwilliam

“ugh. you LOVE me?”
“don’t make that face. it’s not like i want to. you’re loud and you talk too much about television for an adult and every single member of your family has friended me on facebook despite the fact that i’ve never spoken to most of them, and most of them have very poor punctuation. in fact, this whole situation is very embarrassing. like herpes. but like herpes, i don’t think it’s curable without taking action. so here i am. telling you. i love you.”
“can you even hear yourself right now?”
“so … what are your thoughts?”
“what are my thoughts? about your i-love-you-like-herpes speech?? which, p.s., herpes is incurable. that shit’s always gonna flare up again.”
“exactly. the metaphor is appropriate.”

4

suddenly, hogwarts AU and everyone is babies??! idk it’s out of my system now don’t tell me to draw anyone else or argue with me about house choices it’s done i’m going to bed now!!!!

8

Well, I’m not on my own, I’m here with you, High Warlock of Brooklyn.
                                             — I have tremendous respect for the new Head of the Institute.

2

[au’s that exist elsewhere]

there’s whispers around town about the two boys who live in the forrest. the locals will talk about them with their eyes cast downward and their voices hushed, worried that they would hear them.

there would be moments, in the dead of night, that shrieks will pierce the hot. humid air and people will shudder.

they’ll warn the foolish tourists who come to their town, seeking out the two boys who makes their home in the woods and they’ll tell them to watch out, beware.

beware of the boy with gold in his eyes because if you see him then the one with emeralds won’t be too far behind.

and if you see him, your shrieks will fill the night air, shouts and pleas for help and the locals will turn their heads, ignoring the way that goosebumps rise on their flesh and pretend that they don’t have two witches who haunt their town.

[southern gothic witch winchesters]

Sometimes I think of the pioneers of the Trek fandom, painstakingly putting together zines, copying their fanfiction over and over and over again on unforgiving typewriters and spreading their love for this show and these characters through secret clubs, through the mail, distributing their books and artwork by hand to people they knew they could trust. 

Whenever I think things are hard as a content creator now, I remember them and just thank every star in the sky that they were willing to put in the hard work so that the passion they felt for this show would carry on. Without them, we wouldn’t have a fandom. We wouldn’t have spaces like this where we can share our fanworks with thousands of people. Instantly. Where we can openly and proudly talk about the things we love with those same thousands of people. Without leaving our couches.

So, thanks Trek parents, for all your hard work. <3

Hamilton Ships Masterpost

Ok this took literally an hour but it was worth it

Canon ships:
Hamliza (?)
Burrdosia

Subtext ships:
Lams
Hamgelica (is that the ship name ????)
Maria/Alexander (don’t know the ship name LOL) (does it even belong in subtext I mean they kinda affair’d????)

Popular ships:
Lams
Jeffmads
Jamilton
HamBurr
Hamliza
Elams

Right Hand ships:

Marliza
TheoBurr
Mullette
Ham/laf/laurens/mulligan
KingBury
Laflams

Left Hand ships:

Phillip/Theodosia (jr)
Phillip/Eaker
George^2 (King George/George Washington)
LeeBurr
Hamette (lol don’t know the ship name)
Hamulligan (don’t judge me I don’t get out often)
LEGGY (lafayette/peggy LOL)
Jeggy (laurens/peggy)
Laurette
Laurigan
Laffilton
Lafington/Washette
HamBury
Jamilams
LaurLee
HamLee
Peggriah
Burrcules
Jamilams
LaurLiza
JeffBurr
JamesBurr
Lafferson/Jeffayette
WashingBurr (lmao what)
Whamilton (why tho)

RAREST OF SHIPS:

JamesMull
LaurBurr
Lee/Eaker
Seabury/Eaker
MullBurr
LafBurr
Hamilton/King George (Y???)
Mulbury (LMAO I DON’T SHIP IT BUT THE SHIP NAME IS 👌👌👌)
Mulliza
Elayette (is that the name??)
HamReynolds (james reynolds)
Jeffliza
KingHam
Theoliza
Jeffgelica
Jamesliza
Burrliza (stop fucking alexander’s wife lm ao)
Laurphil (why though)
Lafgelica


If there’s anything I missed, tell me and I’ll edit it