don't go to jail

am i the only one that will read and agree with 99.9999% of a miles long post of meta on my fav yet not reblog it because of one phrase or sentence that I just can’t endorse spread proliferate or in any way cosign bc it’s wrong and needs to be killed with fire?


quick psa: saying stuff like “that looks just like my inquisitor/hawke/shepard!!!” when u reblog stuff or tagging graphics that people make of their OCs with the name of your OC is rude af & completely unnecessary……………….. stop doing it

i know it sounds asshole-y & petty as hell, but literally nothing is more annoying than checking the tags on gifsets and other shit i make and seeing people tag it with “[oc name]” and squealing about it……… just go away………..take a nap…….. learn some manners

One of my favorite things to do in the whole wide world (in jail, at least) is to fuck rubber gloves. I call my rubber glove/artificial vagina “Suzy” (in some circles, it’s called “Fifi”) and she loves me ‘cause I give her me bone sweet ‘n’ tender long time. Yeah.

The first time I freaked the Suzy (nearly seven years ago—where has the time gone?) I was foolish enough to mount her standing. I nearly collapsed when I blew the gunk out! I’ve been turned out ever since her warm, slippery snatchness made me weak in the knees. I have probably run through 500 pairs since, and reused the same ones on a number of occasions, which probably explains the mysterious rashes. 

Read the rest at Vice Magazine: PEN PALS - IF YOU BUILD HER, YOU WILL CUM - Viceland Today