don't go don't stray

And I don’t want a never ending life
I just wanna be alive while I’m here



you know, i’m usually chill and do not Care about what the latest problematic™ thing is in this fandom or what new/old discourse is happening, but since it has reached me and i do care about this….

it appals me that, in this unnecessary j/lec vs m@lec ‘’war’’, and after the ‘issue’ of jace’s behavior towards alec in s1 has been brought up, i had to read with my own eyes something like ‘’after all magnus has treated alec better than jace ever did’’ …….

and i just want to say, everyone ships whatever they want and prefer whichever character, but for a fandom that has been so butthurt at any breaching of canon, how has this very crucial, important, canonical soul-bond between jace and alec lost its meaning and is so often reduced to ‘’brothers’’ or ‘’unhealthy/problematic/whatever’’ instead of regarding it as the very complicated, multifaceted and long-standing bond that it is??? outside of the ships, but as this relationship that is of such importance for BOTH characters in-canon????

as in, (and i repeat, please don’t read this as a competition/comparison to further a ship war instead of the contextualization that i’m trying to make) alec and magnus have known each other for less than two months at best, and their ‘’road’’ to each other has also not been all rainbow and roses, 

(on the matter of that quote of magnus treating him better than jace, has everyone conveniently forgotten that they’d seen each other twice before he acted all salty over alec’s marriage as if they’d been together for years?? and i don’t say this as hate for god’s sake, i’m giving the other perspective and reminding that none of those characters are perfect and if you start blindly judging and overly criticizing one, know that there is content for the others too)

while jace and alec for TEN years - in those years we know they became friends, best friends, family, parabatai - so to say ‘’…than jace EVER did’’ as in judging jace and alec’s relationship out of the FRACTION that we’ve SEEN of the time that they’ve known each other??? (and in this case even less than that, only s1, because s2 is a whole different matter???)

thay HAVE their drisagreements, their ups and downs,

(and honestly, whoever has someone they care about, have you…always been perfect with each other, never argued, hurt each other, accidentally or not?? and after, you just stop caring?? -i’m obviously not talking about abuse here-)

and, as of one of my recent posts, i’m the first to criticize and not like jace’s behavior in s1, but as other people have said in my replies, this is also something that has an explanation that is very complex (re: his abusive past) which is also something that i actively chose not to delve into because i’m not a jace expert, i don’t relate to him as i do alec so i often don’t get his behavior, especially in s1, so other people should definitely talk about that, but even then, to stay stuck at that point of their dynamic erases the fact that any relationship of whatever kind is a two-way street and both jace and alec have been in conflict with the other and have treated the other not in a stellar way, no matter who was ‘’right’’ or not (and the fact that they’re both two emotionally stunted people didn’t help them deal with it in a ‘’healthy’’ way)

so to try and see only the negative aspects, erase how at the core of their differences was and is always this deep love and care for each other as two people that chose to tie themselves together for life, is a cruel disservice to this very special and meaningful bond. 


before I start I want to say that this my observation and assumption so I could be wrong since we know a little about the Dazai and Chuuya relationship and backstory ( and don’t mind my english )

why did Dazai become a friend of Oda and Ango and not Chuuya although he clearly spend more time with Chuuya than those two since he’s his partner ? and why did Dazai hate Chuuya in first place and interacting with him ? why wasn’t chuuya need in the dark era ?

so let me start by answering why Dazai become friend with Ango and Oda and not Chuuya ?

my answer is simple … because they don’t know the real Dazai … if you read the novel you’d noticed it more than the anime … in a lot of cases Oda was shocked that Dazai talked about himself because it was the first time he mentioned anything or talk about something that concern him.

I believe Dazai is the type who doesn’t talk about himself or allow anyone to get near him on a personal level. Hirotsu in the novel said that no one ever know what Dazai like or hate or what would make him get angry etc etc not even he who’s a veteran of the Mafia for more than 10 years now …

and whenever Dazai show part of his true self he always laugh it off or pretend it was all an act ..

and because of this very scene Oda know the part that Dazai never wanted to show and what he was searching for which result in him saying those words to him before he die…

Dazai always joke around and lie which makes it hard to tell which is the truth and which part is the lie

Dazai can deceive people so easily .. to add Ango and Oda never truly ask Dazai or bother to ask him something personal .. Dazai with them feel at ease more than anyone else .. plus they only gather to drink which means outside of this they don’t meet that much if not for work .. and after Dazai become an executive no normal member of the Mafia can meet him or talk to him easily .. Oda and Ango without warring hold a special part of him heart that he didn’t realize till it was too late..

and this lead me to why Dazai hate Chuuya and interacting with him and they didn’t became friends… based on this pic we know that Dazai and Chuuya know or at least were aware of each other at a young age ..

so maybe Chuuya know about Dazai’s personal life than any other member on the Mafia … plus Chuuya is smart and was Dazai’s partner so he can easily get past Dazai’s acting …

like Chuuya was the only one who know that Dazai purposely let himself get caught because he’s plotting something …

and Dazai was at first..

but then he admitted he was plotting something indeed ..

so Dazai know that he can’t keep his acting that long infront of Chuuya…

so this makes me think .. what if Dazai hate Chuuya because first Chuuya can get past his acting in most cases or whenever he lie…second because maybe Chuuya knows part of Dazai that we still didn’t see or know yet…

and as someone who always maintain a distance from everyone I don’t think this came as a surprise to me …since I know some people hate the one who know them the best or more than anyone specially if this person try not to show his true self .. I thought Dazai is like this which’s makes sense to me ..

and we still don’t know the full picture of Dazai’s character .. as Oda gave us a glimpse on certain aspect of his personality and character I believe Chuuya would do the same if they gave us their backstory or more info ( PLEASE I’M STILL WAITING FOR IT )

and I believe this is the very reason why Chuuya wasn’t included in the Dark Era .. and the Dark era only takes place on Dazai’s last days in the Mafia and not his whole life in it .. if you’re gonna say that the dark era didn’t show what kind of relationship Dazai and Chuuya have then also allow me to say .. that the dark era didn’t show us what kind of relationship Dazai have with Mori the Boss of the Mafia … they gave us hints the same as the manga but didn’t answer my questions so …

yeah don’t hold the dark era as if it hold all you answer about Mafia Dazai because clearly there’s MORE than what was shown .. be it Chuuya, Q ( and this one didn’t even get mentioned the same as Chuuya ) or Mori …

this is all I wanna say for now … sorry if I confused or my talk didn’t make any sense … I just don’t agree that after seeing Dazai and Oda’s relationship people start to believe that Chuuya doesn’t play an important role in Dazai’s life ..It just felt so wrong to me …