Just gonna say this here because of a post I just reblogged.
The whole “you get to have your pronouns unless I don’t like you” thing is easily the single most common form of transphobia and it is why any “ally” can’t be trusted until you see how they treat the identity of someone they dislike because god knows cisgendered people will play a tolerant tune right up until they have to pinch their nose and be, you know, a decent person.
I do not care how much you dislike someone. I do not care what you think they’ve done to you. If the only reason you refer to people by their preferred pronouns is because you like them, you’re fucking transphobic.
No ifs, ands, or buts.
You do not get to decide someone is not what they say they are simply because you, personally, do not like them. There’s a time and a place for that very serious and very unpleasant conversation, but the time isn’t when you need to make a point and the place isn’t from petty hate.