I forgot how amazing but how painful it is to have a crush on someone. I forgot how amazing it feels to be excited to see someone and talk to them but how painful it feels to not know whether or not they want to see you and talk to you.
But ever since I met you, I’m starting to remember all over again.
Reylo Fandom: So this person at Lucasfilms set a lawn on fire with the words ‘Kylo and Rey Will Have An Interesting Relationship’, but then also revealed that Snoke will be wearing a pink feather boa and some crocs. Also, for a second that same employee hinted that Rey hates deviled eggs but that Kylo loves them.
Reylo Fandom: aren’t you worried ????
Me: It’s been nearly two years. Lucasfilms has broken me. If you came and told me it was confirmed that Lucasfilms caused the fall of the Roman Empire, I would probably just sigh and shrug. This fandom explodes and rebuilds itself like a horrific, bickering, eldritch starfish. I’m still not even sure if The Last Jedi is real or if we’ll all shuffle into the cinema on December 15th and see a live action Evangelion reboot acted out by the sequel trilogy cast. Even if that did happen I would still probably sigh, shrug, and be impressed by this bold new marketing strategy.
Don’t Break This Deal AU comic, where Wirt tried to trick Bill, the demon underestimated Wirt, and both of them ended up sharing one body! Part 6, where Bill pokes around in Wirt’s mind and opens something he shouldn’t have, resulting in Wirt passing out and meeting The Beast
In hindsight, I probably should have expected a trap
right away, from the moment I heard the voice.
High and light and familiar, and shrill with fear. Agatha.
running towards the Wavering Wood before I can take too much time to think
about when I’ve last seen Agatha. If I’d
been thinking, I would have remembered seeing her at lunch and in classes, and
that she’d only gone back to her room after lunch to grab a book or something,
not into the Wood. But here I am,
following her voice, summoning the Sword of Mages as I run. Because what if?
where are you?”
always thought that monster attacks only happened deep in the Wood, if you
stumbled into a lair or something, not that they would seek people out, and not
this close to the edge of the Wood.
apparently I’m wrong.
before I’m even four trees into the shadows, something explodes against the
back of my head and I drop like a stone.
I come to I’m face-down in the dirt and something with deft fingers is securing
the knots in the ropes around my wrists.
I start to thrash and find my ankles bound as well, and I receive
another smack in the head, which almost has me losing consciousness again. I wait for the stars to pass from my vision
and go still, even though every part of me wants to kick, fight, escape. Instead I listen.
has its foot on my back (at least I think it’s a foot) is human-shaped, but
that is not to say that it is human. It
has long, spindly fingers that seem to shake as they tie. It breathes loudly and quickly, like it’s in
a hurry. I hear a twig crack to my left,
a little way off. Something else is
you have it, then.”
voice is cool and familiar, and my heart sinks like a stone.
you said,” comes another voice, this time from the creature on my back. It’s gravelly and high like nails on glass.
said you required no payment,” the higher voice hisses like it’s smiling.
stand by the statement.”
you’re either lying, or you’re a fool.”
fool to come here.”
a dull thud, and then the crunch of the leaves as the body hits the forest
floor. I want to turn my head and look,
but I can’t reveal that I’m conscious.
harsh, loud breathing continues, this time scuttling around to my left, no
doubt tying another set of wrists and ankles.
crawls across my hands, maybe a spider, and I shake it off without thinking.
actually feel it when the creature catches me moving.
it sings in Agatha’s voice before its foot connects with my head and everything
I don’t open my eyes right away when I wake up, my
head aches too much. Like there’s a
needle from one temple through to the other.
feel something shift against my back there’s the stink of sweat and long-dead
meat. The air is cold and damp and for a
minute I think I’m in the catacombs.
open my eyes slowly and to my relief there’s no blinding light to aggravate my
headache. I’m staring at my navel, and
I’m in a sitting position, my back against something warm and solid. Rope stings my wrists and when I lift my head
I see it wrapped around my torso and ankles as well. The ground around me is cold stone and
scattered with bones and tiny, sharp rocks.
Moisture trickles down the stone walls, patchy with moss and spider
cave. It’s brought me to its cave.
not just me.
shifts against my back again and I have to roll my eyes, even though it
burns. It tied us together. Figures.
up, are we?” comes the goblin’s rasping voice from behind me. I don’t turn my head to look at it, I already
know what it looks like. Short, pale,
gaunt and wide-eyed, with graying brown hair in a mess on the top of its
head. An old-looking suit that’s covered
in mud and bits of dried-on… well, let’s just say that goblins aren’t elegant
us go,” Snow growls at it, and I can picture his defiant glare. It’s been directed at me more than once. It’s actually kind of cute, if I weren’t so
often on the receiving end, I’d turn to mush inside. As it is, I can’t help but smile a
little. Stupid, brave Snow. No wonder he’s the Mage’s Heir.
in the name of magic would I do that?” the goblin laughs. “Look at me.
Look at you. You’re not just any
old snack, are you? You’re the Mage’s Heir.”
is exactly why you should let us go before you get hurt.”
not going to kill me.”
so? Why not?”
I’m not going to kill you.”
almost feel Snow balk in confusion.
yet, anyway. I’ll say it again: you’re
the Mage’s Heir,” the goblin goes on, “and do you know what happens to the
lucky goblin who kills the Mage’s Heir?”
doesn’t say it out loud, but he knows. I
why wait until now to attack?” Snow questions.
your little school has some pretty strong magical defenses. I couldn’t get close enough until someone let
me through. You can thank your little
friend for that.”
grit my teeth and don’t say anything.
not just kill us now, then?” Snow spits.
“You’ve got us where you want us.”
but who would that convince?” the goblin chuckles. “Anyone could claim to have killed you, and
believe me, many have tried. No, a
simple claim won’t do. You’re coming
with me to the goblin court, where I will kill you, and your meddling friend,
in front of many witnesses, and no one will be able to deny that I have killed
the Mage’s Heir.”
you’ll become the Goblin King,” Snow finishes.
is my right.”
won’t get away with it.” I roll my eyes
again at the cliché.
me the theatrics,” the goblin groans and I hear the flick of a switchblade. Snow cries out in pain and jerks back, his
head hitting mine and my eyes explode again.
A scent fills the air, familiar and terrifying. Blood.
a good thing he can’t see me because my fangs pop instantly at the smell.
yells again and I don’t know what the goblin is doing to him but it’s making my
gives a gasp of pain and the smell of his blood grows stronger.
said, stop.” This time I shout.
The goblin stops, leaving me to pant away the sting of
its knife in my shin. My head is
pounding from the many blows in the past half-hour (maybe more, I don’t know
how long I was out after the kick) and blood trickles down my cheek to my neck.
don’t know if Baz is trembling against my back, or if it’s me doing the
goblin pockets the switchblade and turns its attentions on Baz, kneeling beside
him and speaking close to his ear.
wrong?” it sneers. “Don’t like the
smell?” It drags a grimy finger across
the cut on my cheek and waves my blood in Baz’s face. I feel him go tense and still, like he’s
holding his breath.
surprised at you, boy,” the goblin continues, “weren’t you the one who set all
this up? And now you don’t want me to
leave him alone,” Baz seethes.
up your mind,” the goblin tells him. “Or
would you rather I paid you more attention?”
There’s a crackle and I turn my head to see the tiny fireball the goblin
has conjured in its hand.
feeling more and more sure that Baz is a vampire by the minute, because even
though he’s obviously trying not to react, he shrinks back from the flame
automatically. If so much as a spark
hits his skin…
away from him,” I spit at the creature, “it’s me you want.”
always has to be about you,” Baz pipes up, sarcastic to the last.
goblin stares at me for a long second before extinguishing the fireball in its
fist and standing up again.
boys will want to get some rest,” it says, “we’ll be leaving at sundown.”
Goblins are nocturnal creatures, and this one has been
up pretty late in the day, so it doesn’t take long for the wretched thing to
fall asleep. Somehow it doesn’t look as
peaceful in its sleep as Snow always does.
Baz?” Snow whispers to me.
the fuck are you asking me that for?”
I’d try some compassion, since we’re in the same situation, but clearly it’s a
waste of my time. Fuck you.”
feel him whip his head around. “You have
got to be joking.”
would be nice, wouldn’t it?”
is your idea of a practical joke?” he asks incredulously. “Selling me out to a goblin? And where does your own capture play into
this brilliant plan?”
doesn’t,” I admit, “I was going to kill it before it could do you any real
not even your turn, you twat.”
I’d go for the element of surprise.
Besides, you haven’t made your move yet today.”
you haven’t checked your closet yet.”
head drops forward and I sigh. “Great.”
though, you’ve been slacking off. Where
were you on Monday?”
know those terrible nightmares you had that night?”
It takes a second for the penny to drop, but when it
does it’s louder than a bomb.
wasn’t supposed to go that far.”
cursed me into having nightmares?” He
sounds angry enough to burst into flames, which I’m not convinced he couldn’t
actually do if he lost control.
was an accident.”
you just accidentally formulated a
curse to attack me in my sleep.”
were only supposed to have minor nightmares,” I insist, “not start yelling in
he snarls, “did I keep you up?”
not what I mean.”
cannot fucking believe you.”
“You took my voice,” I shoot back, unable
to keep the childish defensiveness out of my whisper. “That’s practically unforgiveable. And now you’ve almost gotten both of us
killed, and you didn’t even know that I was responsible for the nightmares.”
moment we’re out of this cave, you are dead.”
if you wanted me to have nightmares, why did you wake me up? Why not just let me suffer?”
you were terrified, Baz,” I say like it should be obvious. “You were crying out for your mum and it was
quiet for a second before replying.
“What else was I calling out for?”
“Nothing. You just kept saying ‘no’ a lot.”
lets out a long, shuddering sigh like everything he dreamt about is rushing
back. They must have been some of the
worst nightmares of his life the way he’s reacting.
should have held him. I should have
comforted him. I wanted to comfort him. But I
didn’t. Because I was too proud. I was too scared.
want to comfort him now, but we’re tied up.
That and he’d probably vaporize me if I tried.
take a deep breath. “It was wrong of me
to give you nightmares. I should have
known better, or I should have told you that it was me, I…” I’m almost too
afraid to say it in a register that he’ll hear.
“I’m sorry, Baz.”
quiet for a long time.
expect me to forgive you.”
breathe a sigh of relief.
“So,” Simon ventures after a heavy moment, “what now?”
wait for the goblin to kill us.”
right.” I can practically hear his
eye-roll. “We need to get out of here.”
need to work together.”
it’s my turn to roll my eyes. “How
inspiring, Snow, I thought you said you had a plan.”
plan we come up with is going to require teamwork,” he explains in a
whisper. “In case you hadn’t noticed,
we’re literally tied to each other.”
had noticed, thanks.”
we’ll have to work together to get out.”
have a sword,” I reason, “can’t you use it to cut us free?”
can’t summon it without spearing you,” he says, “it would appear in my hand,
the blade would probably end up in your stomach.”
Two birds with one stone, my mind
supplies darkly, but I push the thought away.
“Maybe I could burn through the ropes.”
and send us both up in flame. Great
you reach it?”
could, we’d already be out of here.”
can get it to you, could you spell the ropes off?”
chance to get your hands on my arse, eh Snow?”
I could spell the ropes off.”
what then? Sneak out?”
cast a glance at the sleeping goblin.
“Not until we deal with Goblin King over here.”
have a plan?”
grin spreads across my face. “Oh, I have
Baz insists that I make a noisy show of escaping, to
wake the goblin. Why he would want to do
that, I can’t imagine (he hasn’t told me all of the plan, which should probably
make me suspicious), but he seems to be getting more excited about whatever
he’s going to do by the second. The
smirk I’m so familiar with is glued to his face, but instead of making me feel
sick, I’m buzzing like I’ve had too much sugar.
Maybe because he’s not directing it at me this time, but sharing it with
have to wonder why we’ve never teamed up before. Granted, we’re usually at each other’s
throats, but something about this, the working together, the shaky alliance, is
making me giddy. I’m almost giggling as
I throw the ropes to the cave floor.
has already disappeared from view as the goblin wakes up, turning to find me
frozen on my way to the cave entrance.
do you think you’re going?” it sneers.
I shake my head, “you really are as stupid as they say.”
goblin pulls its blade from its pocket again, but doesn’t respond with any more
than a growl.
see,” I go on, “you were smart to take us both.”
can’t help but watch Baz as he appears behind the creature, silent as a wraith.
you were a fool,” I grin, “to leave us both alive.”
flame appears in Baz’s hand. In a flash
he wraps an arm around the creature’s neck and shoves the fireball into its
eyes widen and steam pours out of its ears as the fireball takes the path of
least resistance: right down the throat.
The human illusion starts to disintegrate and I see flashes of the
goblin’s true face, gray and leathery with red eyes and sagging, pointed
ears. It struggles but Baz holds on
tight, until the thrashing stops and the goblin droops in his arms, and he
drops it, limp and smoking, to the ground.
hasn’t looked away from me the entire time.
haven’t looked away from him.
It’s still light outside when we emerge from the cave,
but we’re clearly much deeper into the Wood than before. I don’t recognize anything.
on, I’ll climb a tree and get our bearings,” I tell Simon.
gives me a quizzical look and unfurls his wings without a word.
shrug and take my place at the bottom of a tree. “I bet I could still beat you.”
haven’t seen me climb a tree.”
you haven’t seen me fly.”
stare each other down for a second, tasting this new dynamic. Still rivalry, but different. Less hateful, more fun.
leap into the tree without warning.
see his eyes widen as he takes in my speed, and he kicks off the ground an
instant later, but we reach the halfway point around the same time. He beats me by seconds, perching at the top
like a bird while I scramble to the branch below him.
anything?” I ask, catching my breath.
scans for a moment before pointing behind us.
“There’s Watford. Not a bad view
from here,” he says as I climb up a branch to meet his level, “we should climb
trees more often.”
peer the few inches up at him, a strange expression on my face. “We?”
meets my gaze suddenly, like he’s realized what he’s said. “I, um… well, whatever,” he stammers.
his face going red from flying? Or from…
not used to looking up to meet his eyes, and he’s not usually framed by the
pure white sky and the smell of pine and mountain air.
not used to him looking at me the way he is now.
I’m not used to being this close to Baz, or holding
his gaze for this long, or letting down my guard with him, or seeing him framed
by pine branches and treetops, or wanting to touch his hair…
There’s a fresh scar on his cheek from the goblin’s
His hair is black again, and I still want to touch it.
His lips part slightly, and my heart stops entirely.
I don’t know what I’m doing.
But I lean in…
I’m just closing my eyes as the bough breaks beneath
me and I fall through the branches.
He only falls about halfway down, but he hits just
about every branch on the way. I jump
from my perch and dive after him, grabbing onto a limb where he stops his
both climb the rest of the way down and head back towards the castle. We don’t speak, and my head is still spinning
with everything that’s just happened, not to mention what’s almost happened.
I venture, “who’s turn is it again?”
shrugs. “Tomorrow’s the first of April.”
look at each other for a moment.
game?” I suggest.
nods. “Fair game.”
walk another few minutes in silence.
you’re not going to kill me for the nightmares then?”
shoots me a sideways glance, but he’s smiling.
A real smile, not a sneer.
I particularly enjoy the act of creating intricate theories with entertainment I consume. Much like with any kind of mystery; I, and people like me like to be ahead of the curb, predicting the turn of events before it shows up on the screen, just so we can punch our fists into sky and declare;
Over my time making and consuming theories however, I’ve noticed several types of theories that people tend to gravitate towards which I don’t care for, for a variety of reasons. Usually I don’t like these theories because its pretty obvious the show would never go in that direction and/or is laden with logical inconsistencies that are incongruous with 9/10 shows they are applied too.
I would like to say before I delve into this that this is not an attack on people who have such theories. While they aren’t usually plausible, they do have instances where it actually works, which I will give examples of. Rather the point I’m making with this list is keep an open mind and make sure that this theory you are getting invested in really has merits to it before flame wars erupt online (though it would be best to not flame war over this to begin with but I digress). I’d also like to point out that this is about theories that are specifically trying to predict the course of the canon. If you are trying to predict where the show is going, these theories are probably not going to do it.
The theories I don’t like include:
The character was in a coma/dead/dreaming/imagining it the whole time!
Such happy uplifting theories include things like Ash Ketchum was in a Coma the whole time, Harry Potter was in his cupboard the whole time, Steven Universe was just playing with rocks the whole time, and many, MANY more. Its a very popular twist that people like to lean towards because it adds this artificial level of sadness to it that people just dig. Such theories can disregard any inconsistencies in said theory because of the very nature of the characters delusional state. While most understand this is just sad au talk, I have met my fair share who legitimately believe such a twist will happen.
Most times such theories are made for a piece of fiction, creepypasta, and more often than not it shrivels under any kind of scrutiny. 99/100 times, this theory is going to be false.
Are there instances where this theory can work?
Shows like Over The Garden Wall for example could definitely be interpreted in this way and it would be entirely plausible, because the show creators clearly encouraged that line of thinking with both clues during the course of the show and its ending. Shows with such a twist usually leave the breadcrumbs for this answer in far more plain sight than the kind of mental gymnastics that goes behind trying to explain why Ash Ketchum doesn’t age.
THIS character is secretly THAT character!
Both applicable in crossovers and inside a single show, there is a never ending stream of theories that speculate that character A is secretly Character B. From the more silly theories like the everybody seems to be Sans variety too Rose/Lion is somehow Pink Diamond, its probably one of the types of theories that people get the most passionate about. They will have their list of evidence on hand at all times, ready to go on a tirade on how they are the only one who sees the “true identity” of whatever character it is.
Nothing against the people who make such theories, but just understand that, more likely than not, these two characters are ACTUALLY just two separate characters. These theories are really tempting to make too, cause sometimes it would make for a cool twist, but the underlying logical inconsistencies and how they tend to undermine character motivations really show how unlikely such theories actually are.
Are there instances where these theories can work?
Gravity Falls has a character who falls under this trope of secretly being another character, and when it was finally revealed it was quite satisfying, because there were clues both kind of obvious and hidden deep in the background that pointed to this being the case. Much like with the previous theory, IF there is such a twist hidden in the plot, the evidence for it will not be nearly as obscure as people usually get for such ideas. If the “clues” are largely conjecture requiring a lot of leaps of logic, its probably not the case.
This show/series/game takes place in a post apocalyptic Earth!
I’ve seen this theory for way too many series to count. It is usually attributed to shows with happy settings that do not feature humans or a lot of humans. Logical inconsistencies are largely ignored in favor of some truly obscure pieces of information that really just doesn’t add up when you think about it. Like with any other theory that is going to appear on this list, IF the show has such a twist in mind they will have more than sufficient clues to fill you in on it, if they don’t outright come and say its a post apocalyptic Earth. I’ve seen such theories made for shows where even the SOLAR SYSTEM didn’t function the same as ours and they were still contesting it was a Future Earth. There has to come a point when you acknowledge the refuting evidence, else you become annoying.
Are there instances where this theory can work?
Clear and obvious example of a show which employed this trope is Adventure Time. The clues for the “mushroom war” were far and wide from the credits too off handed dialogue long before it was explicitly talked about. It was clearly something they intended for the show from the beginning. When making such a theory (with the specific purpose of trying to predict the course of the show), keep in mind the evidence that is actually on the table and be prepared to acknowledge this isn’t the case.
Those are the three big ones I see on a regular basis in a variety of fandoms. Like I said in the beginning and throughout this, a good predictive theory is based on evidence and an open mind to alternative interpretations of the evidence. If you are trying to make a legitimate theory to predict where the show in question is going to go, this is good to keep in mind.
If you’re just making the theories for fun and aren’t really all that interested in predicting the course of events however, then disregard and have a blast. Nothing tickles my funny bone quite like a clever joke/satire theory, and really, having fun is what these kinds of speculations are all about.
I’m fucking crying my eyes out right now over how amazing perfect my goddess is in her Halloween outfit.
Nana is too adorable in general for my already bursting heart and then they throw me a witch Nana?????
Bandai are trying to kill me with these recent Nanas and I’m all for it
Alright, this is a weird one, but imagine some kinda of an all inclusive magical school, human or demon or what-have-you - it doesn’t matter. They are all same age, Bill is not too evil, he studies to become a good demon and rule his demon world (like all good little demons should), and Wirt mostly deals with death and necromancy, and Dipper just signed up for every class possible, but mostly he’s looking forward to being a demon hunter, and so he bothers Bill with questions, and Bill gladly answers, and Wirt is deply creeped out, because he really doesn’t need to know the details. I just came up with this today, and it’s weird, and I’m sleep deprived, but I love this idea haha
“How do I know you won’t double-cross me in the end? I know of your past dealings with Stanford Pines and his family…”
“Ah, c’mon, Tall, Dark, and Spooky - trust me! It’s all easy peasy, lemon squeezy. You take care of those meddling Pines, hopefully in a deliciously gruesome fashion, and I’ll throw in a whole forest of edelwood trees for your precious lantern to burn. Whaddya say, do we have a deal…?”