Hamilton characters as things my friends and roommates have said at college
- Washington: Every time you don't keep your side of the room clean, god kills a puppy.
- Angelica: Honey, if that boy talks to you again and you don't like what he's saying, send him to me and I'll kick him so hard in the ass, he'll need my foot surgically removed from his mouth.
- Maria: I look like a hooker in this dress, but not a cheap one. Like, a really expensive one. For the guys who wear nice cologne and suits.
- Laurens: I don't know if I'm gay. Or straight. Or bi. I don't know what I am. I just know I have to pee now cause I'm so stressed about this.
- Hamilton: I want to have a party just about me. Like, no music, no dancing, nothing. Just an empty room and me with a mic, so that everyone will come and have to hear me talk.
- Eliza: I feel so guilty, I ate sugar before lunch. My mum always says it's unhealthy to eat sugar before noon. What have I done? I'm a horrible rebel. I need to go call her and apologise.
- Peggy: DUDE IM NOT A GARBAGE CAN STOP THROWING YOUR FUCKING GARBAGE AT ME AM I THAT UNNOTICEABLE JESUS I HATE YOU ALL
- Jefferson: Everyone here is so goddamn stupid.
- Burr: Either I'll kill myself or my dorm-mate before summer break. I don't know which yet.