You are two when the Avengers find you in an abandoned lab. You have unstable powers over emotions. With a simple touch you can make anyone feel any emotion you want. This makes it impossible for you to e placed in a normal orphanage.
So the Avengers adopt you.
On your fifth birthday Clint attempts at babysitting you.
On your sixth birthday Natasha shows you an empty room and invites you to decorate it however you want.
On your eighth birthday you pick up Thor’s hammer to get to a magazine underneath.
On your tenth birthday Steve takes you to a cafe and you both enjoy a quiet day together.
On your thirteenth birthday Bruce is finally comfortable enough to be around you.
On your fifteenth birthday you play poker with Maria and win.
On your twentieth birthday you get Nick Fury to laugh.
On your twenty first birthday Tony takes you out for drinks.
On your twenty fifth birthday Wanda has finally taught you complete control over your powers.
By the time you stop at a gas station, the boys have heard
every song released in the 1990s. You’d almost feel bad for them if it weren’t
for the fact that you found it funny, even if Bucky spent most of the time
grumbling in his seat. You stalk through the store right to the bathrooms
behind Wanda and Nat. You pause in front of the mirror on your way out,
smoothing out a bit of tangle the wind had done to your hair.
“He doesn’t care what you look like,” Wanda leans forward on
the sink, checking her perfectly winged eyeliner. You roll your eyes and do the
Principal Coulson: Did you really expect me to believe that we have a (looks down at paper) Philosophy and Star Trek class here? Taught by a (looks down at paper) Hugh Jaynus?
[Wade starts snickering loudly]
Avengers AU Meme » Superfamily [2/?] - Discovering a chance to slack off (and mainly inspired by last night’s Community episode) Wade convinces Peter to create a fake single-credit Independent Studies course for him. Principal Coulson manages to figure it out and brings both boys into his office.
important domestic avengers headcanons to be aware of
The Avengers (plus Sam and Bucky) can no longer watch crime shows together in the common room because Natasha and Bucky always spoil the endings, and then high five because the best ex-Russian assassins in history.
Clint Barton eats Froot Loops and cold pizza for breakfast every morning. Bruce will never understand, and he always makes scrambled eggs and bacon for the rest of the normal people in the tower.
Sam Wilson consistently shows up at the door step of the Avengers Tower with homemade cookies. They’re his mom’s recipe, and everyone is willing to fight to the death to secure their fair share. (Eventually, Tony just gives Sam his own key and entrance codes. He and Steve share the same floor.)
Pepper will NOT allow Tony to install a Wii (or an Xbox, or a Playstation, for that matter,) in the common room. Until Sharon has to go and give Steve Just Dance 3 for his birthday, and then she has to say yes.
It’s just as incredibly painful and hilarious to watch as you think it is.
Everyone finds out Tony Stark loves to cuddle. No one ever lets it go. Especially Steve.
Clint falls asleep in random places, including but definitely not limited to; the kitchen isle, Natasha’s bed, the couch, on Steve’s shoulder, and while eating in front of the TV while Top Chef reruns play on the screen.
No one talks about that last one, but Clint can feel their judgement from a mile away.
Whenever Darcy can’t find Tony’s nephew, she will start singing “carry on my wayward son” at the top of her lungs. All she has to do is wait for the thudding of his footsteps, or pause and hear him yell back the lyrics.
Tony’s stressed. He’s been stuck in a hell of a lot of meetings, signing papers, meeting with stockholders and being told how to do his job, conferencing with Pepper, and on top of that, Doom just tried to take over the world with his robots again, and Tony’s fucking up to the ears in stress, and he’s just done. He really needs to do something to relax, because if he doesn’t, he’s going to explode, and it isn’t going to be pretty.
He loves inventing, he really does, he loves the thrill of it, loves making things that seem otherworldly and impossible, he loves planning, he loves getting hands on a dirty with it, grease and grime and all, but he’s had enough of that for now. Right now, he needs to do something calming, something that doesn’t require too much thinking, something that’s simple and gives nice results so he can just do and be pleased with the results.
But no one’s around. Natasha’s out doing god knows what, Clint’s with Bruce, probably busy cuddling and talking with him and Tony doesn’t want to bother them, and Steve’s out with Sam on running exercises. Thor went to visit Jane for the day, so Tony’s practically alone.
So he goes to the kitchen.
All the other Avengers think Tony and a kitchen mixed together will result in disaster, because when Tony’s making and inventing, he’s a fire hazard, courtesy too all of them being soaked by sprinklers that one time Tony accidentally made one of his inventions go off and caused a huge amount of smoke. No one was too happy with him.
But Tony goes to the kitchen, and he starts clattering around.
But get this.
As soon as Sam and Steve step in, they moan, because something smells fucking good, and god, they don’t know what it is, but they fucking want it. They go to the kitchen, and boom, there’s Tony, putting the finishing touches to what looks like the most delicious chocolate cupcakes with strawberry frosting fucking ever.
And they fall on them like a pack of ravenous dogs, and Tony just watches with a grin as they practically devour them, smacking their shoulders playfully and pulling some of them away, telling them to save some for the others, and Steve and Sam whine almost immediately after, because they’re so good, and they want them all to themselves.
Natasha comes in next, takes one bite, and promptly tells Tony she’s marrying him, and Tony can’t help but blush a tiny bit, and Steve huffs and pulls Tony into his arms saying he’s his and she can’t have him. And Tony’s just flustered, and Sam can’t stop grinning.
Next, Bruce and Clint come in, and they steal some cupcakes, and god damn, they weren’t expecting Tony to be such a whiz in the kitchen. Thor claims all of Tony’s cupcakes as his, which everyone protests too, and Tony is just fondly staring at them, rolling his eyes.
Even Rhodey and Pepper drop by, but Tony has a whole another batch of red velvet cupcakes with vanilla frosting, because he remembered this time that Pepper is allergic to strawberries, and Rhodey just likes vanilla.
It’s official. Everybody loves Tony’s baking. They all agree it’s to die for, and Tony can’t stop blushing, but he’s so happy and content that his family likes his baking. Baking is now sort of Tony’s hobby now, after inventing, and no one’s complaining.
So he isn’t very surprised at all that everyone is present as he takes the chocolate cheesecake he made earlier out of the fridge, as they’ve been stealing his cinnamon buns, homemade glazed donuts, and fucking awesome blueberry pancakes the whole week before.
Bucky isn’t good with modern slang. he understands it but isn’t good at applying it. Steve walks into a room to find Sam and Bucky playing a card game and sharing a box of triscuits, Bucky offers Steve the box.
“Crackers for a cracker?”
Sam is on the floor wheezing while Steve struggles to explain that’s not how its used.
tony starting a group text for all of the avengers which is basically just tony speaking to an empty room 80% of the time, steve occasionally humoring him, clint making terrible “that’s what she said” jokes, thor sending random photos, bruce ignoring everyone’s immaturity, and natasha insulting everyone in various languages