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That's Why I Love You

Author: @dilisinlove

Word Count: 3,406 (Wow im so sorry)

Type: Angst, Fluff (99.999% fluff) 

Description: Dan shouldn’t have made fun of the sticky notes Phil had bought, but hey, he doesn’t really mind them now.

Extra Tags: Hurt!dan, hurt!phil

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If we let them take us away, we have nothing. I never realized that life is worth living until you. If you’re not in my life, I won’t live it. It’s dumb I know, trust me, it’s the most clichéd thing ever. The Romeo and Juliet classic. However, it’s the truth. Before you I didn’t want to get up, face the day, smile, laugh, survive, but with you, that all comes easily. This isn’t a moment were I beg you to stay and force you to because you feel guilty. You’re not even planning on leaving while I’m writing this, or at least I hope not. This is a confession. This is the truth. I had always heard that in order for you to love someone, you must love yourself first, but that’s not the case. I never have loved myself, but you, oh god, I love you so much, Phil, I forgot what hating myself felt like. But now? You’re going to leave, I know that, I’m not dumb, depressed sure, but not dumb.

They are getting close to finding out. Are you ready? We’ve hidden it for six and a half years. The only years that have mattered to me. I truly lived in those years. You gave me everything I have, indirectly at the very least. Among them are our midnight chats and three am kisses. Our morning breath make outs, our sweaty hands clasped together. Our witty banter, or our lame jokes. Our I love yous’ and our movie nights. I’m not trying to get you to stay if you don’t want too, I’m just trying to tell you what I feel. I know that’s not enough, but it was for those amazing fantastic six years. Maybe I’m not good enough, because after all, I don’t have anything to offer. I just want you to know, I love you and I just want you to be happy, I’ll get over it if that’s what you want. I just love you so much, I’m sorry.

God, I’m so sorry for whatever I did, hell it could have been a lot I did. I’m sorry if I hurt you in anyway, it was never my intention. I’m shit at this really, you know that, I’m not sure how you ever let me write in our book, what I’m trying to say, jokes aside, is that I really do love you, more than you could possibly understand or feel for me, and I just want you to know that I’m glad I spent my prime years with you, even if you are leaving, I’m glad you gave me six plus years of happiness, I’m glad you gave me you for a bit.

Dan

Read More (AO3 l tumblr)

types of kisses (part i)

  • wake up kisses pressed gently to the column of A’s neck or the underside of B’s jaw.
  • morning kisses; gentle and lazy, humming in contentment, limbs still tangled together, hands wandering over soft exposed skin.
  • stay in bed kisses, mischievous and deep, punctuating flirtatiously whispered bargaining words.
  • come back to bed kisses left on A’s neck and shoulder, unhurried and tender, with arms wrapped around A’s waist.
  • rushed late for work kisses, a flash of heat before hurrying out the door.
  • tender kisses when one brings home flowers for the other.
  • sticky ice cream kisses, sitting on a bench in the park and laughing against each other’s lips.
  • cheek kisses that leave red lipstick stains.
  • kisses absently left on the backs of hands, fingers entwined in silent comfort.
  • joyful kisses peppered across foreheads and cheeks between scattered giggles.
  • comforting kisses pressed to tear-stained cheeks between whispered words of reassurance and concern.
  • heated kisses with gasps in between, hands tugging at clothes and exploring skin, bodies pressed close. giving in.
  • long, slow kisses in the afterglow, fingers woven through hair and hearts beating in unison.
  • soft goodnight kisses exchanged on lamp-lit doorsteps on chilly autumn evenings.
  • a single loving kiss left on the other’s forehead when they fall asleep snuggled close together.

in the middle of the night, person B has a nightmare about person A and bursts into wakefulness, gasping and frantic, waking A in the process. A asks what’s wrong, but all they can get out of B is “I love you” repeated over and over in desperation. A pulls their lover close, kissing their forehead and jaw and neck, whispering soothing words until B calms enough to tell them what happened.