dollar t

Dear strip club customers,

Last night we had a club full of customers who all wanted to sit and watch and not spend any money, but they all sure did want our phone numbers and can I just say– just–

I think it’s time we had a talk. Because I love you, dear customers, really I do. So I want to help you help us. Honestly guys, it’s not that hard to be a good strip club patron m, but so many of you seem to have a difficult time grasping what is and is not acceptable behavior. So I provide this list of tips with all the love in the world. Read it. Share it with your friends. Print it out and put it on your fridge. Keep it in your pocket for reference. Do whatever it takes to remember the following things, and it will make everybody’s night better.

•If you don’t have money that you’re willing to spend on the dancers, don’t come. We don’t get paid by the club. Come with money to spend, and actually spend it, or else stay home because you’re taking up space and wasting everybody’s time.

•If a dancer has spent a significant amount of time sitting with you and you aren’t going to get a dance, tip her for the time. We have a limited amount of one in which to make as much as possible, and unless you told her up front that you didn’t want any dances, you wasted hers. Y'all can pay six bucks for a beer but a few dollars (minimum) tip for a beautiful woman is the biggest rip off in the world? Really?

•Don’t haggle us over our dance prices. It’s insulting as hell.

•If a dancer tells you not to touch her in a certain way, don’t do it. It’s wrong elsewhere; it doesn’t stop being wrong just because we’re not fully clothed. Not to mention, you can get us fucking FIRED because your selfish, rapist ass “couldn’t help it.” If you “can’t help it,” stay the fuck at home, you god damn creep.

•Don’t complain to us about the prices of dances, rooms, or whatever else the club has to offer in terms of dancer-customer interaction.

• “You have to work for this dollar!” S T O P

•Don’t get mad at us for not wanting to spend time with you when you don’t have any money to spend or just don’t want to part with it. You not being able to afford a dance is not our problem. You being stingy isn’t our problem. We are WORKING. It’s not an outrageous concept to want to make money for doing our jobs!

• “It’s all about the money for you!” YES! If your boss told you you would no longer be getting paid, you would stop showing up for work, wouldn’t you? We all work because we want to get paid. Again, why is it such an outrageous concept that we want to find someone who will compensate us for our work? If you want a girl to spend time with you for no pay, Tinder is absolutely free.

• Quit acting like because you’re young and attractive, you’re exempt from the rules. “I should get a dance for free because I’m young and hot.” Nobody cares about your fucking appearance. PAY US. Furthermore, quit telling us, “Oh I don’t get dances, I can get laid whenever.” Good for you. Get the hell out and go find someone to fuck you then. Why come if you aren’t going to spend money? You’re a dick. And no, I won’t let you take me to dinner instead, you cheap, cocky fuck.

•Stop asking us for our numbers; we are there to WORK, not find a fuck buddy or relationship.

If you can’t treat us with respect, just don’t come! Idk why so many of you seem to think that you can come to our place of work and act like total jerks.

Regardless of how you feel about what we’re doing, we are there doing an actual job, and YOU CHOSE to come see us. What’s more, we pay from our own pockets for the pleasure of dealing with your rude, ungrateful, disrespectful asses for no base pay, and with no guarantee of making any money at all (because what we make depends on what YOU, the customers, give us. Most of us are independent contractors and therefore don’t get paid by the club). The least you can do is act right if you’re going to come to our clubs.

Come with money and be ready to spend it, quit expecting us to bend over backwards for a single dollar (how fucking condescending and annoying can you possibly be??), and treat us like human beings. It’s not that hard.

With love, Amara 😘

Feel Good

The Dawn Room- Get and Receive kind words.

The Thoughts Room- Watch your thoughts dissolve into space.

The Quite Place- Escape the world for a bit.

It Will Be Okay- Get some words of reassurance.

Soundrown- Extremely relaxing white noise.

Virtual Shower- Take a Virtual Shower and Relax.

Calm down- Nice music and background to clam you down.

Weather- Control the weather from sunny with birds to a thunderstorm.

Snowy Mood- Listen to the soft crunching of snow.

Self Harm alternatives- Don’t hurt yourself, baby, try these.

Feel happy- 10 thins to do when you feel crappy.

Stressed?- 99 coping methods for stress.

Take a break- Do nothing for two minutes and listen to waves.

Having a Bad day?- Things to keep in mind when you are.

Angry?- then look at these cute animals.

Need a hug?- Just click on it, guys.

Make every thing Okay- Press a button and make it all okay.

Was Someone Mean?- “talk” to them and get it out.

Important Mental Health posts- Take a look at these, it’ll help.

Encouraging posts- These are what you need.

Hotlines- Listed in order of hotline.

Re-hydrate- Cute app that grows a plant when you drink water.

Mental Heath and coping- Huge masterpost on multiple disorders and abuse.

Cramps- Yoga for Period cramps.

Napping- When to and how long to nap.

Bad day?- List of cute things to do to f=make you feel better.

Self care- 25 self-care tips to help out.

Need a Compliment?- Get an Emergency Compliment.

Relax with Sea creatures- Have cute babies follow your mouse.

Comfort Box- Make a box for your bad days, and be prepared.

Cut this and not yourself- Click and drag across the screen.

Open a window

14,000 things to be happy about for .16 cents

Watch a randomized tree grow

Therapy Coloring printables

Sexuality Definitions

Tips to Fall Asleep Fast

How to get up in the Morning

Fake Self Confidence

My Friend Needs Help

Panic Attack- My friend is having a Panic Attack.

Self-Harm- My friend self-Harms.

Addiction- My friend is addicted to drug or another substance.

Eating Disorder- My friend has an Eating Disorder.

Suicide- My friend wants to kill them self.

Art

Color Collective- A collection of colors and photography.

Skintone Swatches- 2 great references for skin color.

Skin detail- Adding quick detail to skin.

Blending tutorial- Article and Video.

Concept Cookie- Huge collection of Concept art and tutorials.

Hair palette- Hair colors and mixes chart.

Draw the Booty- Mini tutorial or drawing the booty.

Clouds- Realistic clouds tutorial.

Bubbles- Look at these beauties.

Grass- Video tutorial on Grass.

Portrait- How to draw a portrait in Photoshop.

Lighting- An ADVANCED video on lighting in Photoshop.

Underwater- Beginners Underwater tutorial.

Color Zones- Color Zones of the face and head.

Eyes- Really basic eye tutorial and face sections.

Heels- Basic tutorial For drawing heels (shoes).

Self-taught Artist?- Try this website for tips you may not have known.

Hands- Really useful hand sculpture, first three aren’t hands, but keep going.

Poses- List of useful human poses and such.

Sitting Poses- Poses used for drawing sitting humans.

Understanding anatomy- Chart of Human Anatomy.

Great Pintrest Boards- inspiration, Ideas, Illustration, Draw, Fanart, Concept.

Lessons- FREE, i repeat FREE, art lesson websites!

Psychology of Color- Explanation and charts of color stuff.

Mixing skin tones- Mixing of multiple of colors and ways of skin tone.

Color palettes- make sure you get your colors right.

Contour and Highlights- C and H of the human face.

How to draw: Hoods- Quick tutorial on hood proportion and placement.

How to Draw: Boobs in a shirt- Really helpful do’s and don'ts.

How to Draw: Hair- Long and short beginner hair tutorial.

How to Draw: Cartoon Faces- Basic faces and eyes, nose, and mouth.

Face Placement- Easy to read face placement chart.

How to Draw: Cartoon Hands- Quick Gif tutorial.

Hot to Draw: Cartoon Mouths- Helpful gif for mouth stuff.

Expressions- Awesome Facial Expression chart.

How to Draw: Arms- Great gendered arm reference.

Clothing- Neat do’s and don'ts for clothes.

Hair- Basic hair styles and colors.

Eye- Nice eye drawings to go off of.

More Clothes- Literally Clothes for EVERYTHING.

Kissies- Face positioning and mouths and stuffs.

Programs- A ton of FREE art programs to draw with and such.

Pixels Galore- Beginner guide at pixel art.

Tutorial Masterpost- Huge masterpost on drawing stuff and things.

Glitch Effect- This Hella cool thing oh my gosh.

Draw your Hand in 3D

Writing (*Cracks Knuckles* My Specialty)

Falling Out of Love

Character building

Make your own family history

Plot a complex novel in a day

Punctuating Dialogue(English)

Tips for writing Smut

Naming Characters

Pixar’s Tips for writing a Story

Insecure about your Writing? Read this.

Make a Likable Protagonist

Character Motivations importance

Body Language

How to Write: Flashbacks

Is your Chapter Good?

How to Write: Action Scenes

Writing Multiple Point of Views

When not to Write(Important)

Constructive Comments

Writing a Series

Summaries

Subtle signs of Love

Are you ready to get Published?

Genera Characteristics

Is that Plagiarism? Better check!

Looking for that word?

Writing exercises

Illegal Information

Amazing Masterpost for writers reference

Fill your Journal up

Writer’s Block? Try this.

750 Words a Day

Fancy Last Names

Greek Mythology Database

Writing Jobs you may not have known about

School

Planner- Neat print-out planner.

Prioritize and Stick to it tips- studying tips and habits.

Manage Exam Anxiety

Apps to control Procrastination

Be a master Note Taker

Find the right place to Study

Study daily, don’t cram before the test!

Planning an Essay

Dealing with School related Stress

Effective Studying Techniques

Manage your Time

Reading and Researching

Google Citations

Googling Tips

When Study Breaking(Three)

How to: Pull an all-nighter

School Supplies Masterpost

Games

Orisinal- Absolutely adorable games to relax to.

Tetris

Make- Burgers, Ice Cream, Pancakes, Pizza, and Tacos.

Piano Keyboard

Adventure Time Princess Maker(Awesome)

Lots of Pokemon

Trivia Galore

Free Indie Games(that will occupy you for hours)

Make a squid(Mine is so cute)

Dress up game masterpost

Make awesome Sand art

Flow(Kinda like spore)

Fly Guy

Filler

Draw a stickman and go on an Adventure

Make some Plants

Coma(Really cute, Kinda confusing)

Alter Ego(This game is so amazing, Please play it)

Terrifying irl games

Akinator(Actual Magic)

Chain Reaction(addictive)

Silk Art

Space Invaders

Balance some stuff

Go through a maze with your mouse

Holy mother of Pacman

Surround the cat

Portal knockoff(But it’s still good)

Sticky blobs

Free Cards Against Humanity

Cookie Clicker

Free Plants Vs. Zombies

Neat Color Game

The End(Really Cool Platformer)

Machinarium(This is so amazing)

Psychological RPGs that mess with you

RPG Games with Description(all free)

One and One story

Vocabulary Game

Pretentious

I saw her standing there(It has Zombies, guys)

Hover

Paint a Nebula

Pointer Pointer(check it out)

Light and shadow thingy

Paint with some Fire

Infinite Line

Play with a Blob

Shakespearean insult generater(for some laughs)

Interactive Movie

Make awesome figurines and buy them

go for a walk, or run, or fly…

Get your anger out and have fun

Try and stop watching this

Music Catch 2

Choice of a Dragon

Online Lego Builder

100 Best Free PC Games

Jelly Cannon

Kaleidoscope spinny maker Thing

Impasse

Hungry Blocks

Hangman

Clothing

Ways to tie a scarf

Visual guide to a shitton of stuff

Vintage and Indie- 1 2 3 4 5

Punk/Grunge- 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Ten dollar Mall(where has this been all my life?)

Lily’s Boutique

Tons of Cat shirts

How to: Were X thing

Cheap and cute clothes(Sammydress)

Use the code “ThankU15” for 15% off

Flower Crowns

1015.com cute and cheap clothes

Cute, Cheap, and free shipping to the U.S

Lingerie under 5 dollars!

T-shirts all under 10$

Cute ass skirts under 10$

DressLink.com

Jewelry under 5$

Like 2$ Skeleton Tights

Skull sweatshirt for 20$

Lacey Thigh-highs for 2$

Cute Anti-Duck masks for 8$

6$ self defense Key Chain

Clothes from that TV show you liked

More Cute Ass leggings for 8$

Another Dust mask for 15$

Weird face Dust Mask(again) for 3$

Cool teeth printed Dust Masks for 5$

Red and Black under bust Corset For 18$

Just My size

Pastel Goth(Adorable asf)

How to thrift shop

Fitness

Lazy Girl Workout

Yoga poses at your desk

Ultimate Booty workout

27 Squat Variations

Back on fire, back workout

Easier Push-ups for people who can do zero(like me)

2 Minute Pre-Shower Routine

Increase Flexibility

Tighten your abs

Before you go to school or work yoga

Workout Ideas Masterpost

Yoga Masterpost

DIY spa

Face:

Blueberry Yogurt Mask

Cucumber and Parsley Mask

Mango aloe toner

Apple Honey Acne Facial

Indian Cleansing Milk for Oily skin

Lavender Oatmeal Mask

Avocado Facial Mask

Peppermint Lip Scrub

Sugar Lip Scrub

Hair:

Hair Color Booster

Protective Hair Mask

Hydrating Hair Mask

Avocado Hair Mask

Love Potion #9-Hair rejuvenation

Strengthening Hair Mask

Body:

Wake up Scrub

Dry Skin Creme

Almond Body Scrub

Sunburn Solution

Rose water body lotion

Feet:

Overnight Foot mask

Foot Soak

Cracked heel treatment

Beach Sand Scrub

Hand:

Hand Peel

Gardeners’ Hand Scrub

Lemon and sugar scrub

Lavender Hand Creme

Bath:

Homemade Bath Salts

Tea Balls

Tub Tea

Bath Fizzies

Neat ass Rose Water

Sage and Fennel Bath Melt

Bubble Bath Paint(Woah)

How To: Make your Own Bath Bomb

Extra:

How to: Hot Towel

Meditation- You can also go to your smarthphone’s app store and buy some guided mediation apps. Of course, you can always Google Meditation for Help.

Extras

Complete Text of Shakespeare’s plays

Read Any Book

Color based on the time

Some some books for .1 cents

Live Animal feeds!

The hobby masterpost

Watch a movie with an internet Friend

Pun Generator

How to: make a glitter jar

Masterpost of interesting Links

Masterpost of spooky stories

Look at 100,00 stars

Who do you write like?

Orca follows your mousse

Live porn search feed- seriously just click it

That spinny thing from when you were a kid

Check your Post Limit

Open Sea Cam

How to: Origami

Sleep calculator

Cute OTP things

How to: Blanket Nest

So many Documentaries

Adventure Time Masterpost

Wind currents of the earth RIGHT NOW(Really Neat)

Click to make rectangles

Listen to Wikipedia getting Edited

Acrobots(so much fun)

Cheap fidget toys- good for anxiety

Cheap ass books

Cool Fact Generater

Find Reaction Gifs(three)

One second on the Internet

Make a note that will self destruct after read

Make your Dream Home

Puppy licks you screen

NoSleep Reddit Forum

Urban Legends

Cheap posters

Dots move to your mouse

Buy your own groceries, you chair

How to: GROW THE FUCK UP

Make your Pens as Beautiful as you are

How To: Not even give a Fuck

Funny Bloopers- 1 2 3

Crafts Gone Horribly Wrong

99 Life Hacks

How much of X food/drink would it take to end you?

How to: Pick the Perfect Video Game

How things have changed since you were Born

Have an out of Body Experience Tips

A Washcloth Getting Wrung out in Space

You can Actually Beat Snake 

Food

Ramen Noodle Recipes:

Ramen Noodle Stir fry

Chicken Noodle Soup

Chili-Cheese Ramen

Egg drop Ramen

Spinach and Ramen

Ramen Spaghetti

Ramen Alfredo

Ramen n’ Cheese

Stuff in a mug:

Cheesy Eggs

Cheese and broccoli eggs

Mac n’ Cheese

Meatloaf

Nutella Cake

Cheesecake

Brownie

Chocolate Chip Cookie

More:

Potato

Corn on the Cob

Scalloped Potatoes

White Rice

Fried Rice

Baked Potato

Chicken Casserole

Garlic Chicken

Chicken Soup Casserole

Soft Chicken Tacos

Microwavable Pancakes

no-bake energy bars

vegan french toast

banana pops breakfast wrap

vegan pancakes

spinach and eggs  

baked eggs with red sauce and greens

honey butter chicken biscuits chocolate waffles  

pizza omlette

cinnamon sugar french toast sticks  

cheesy bagels whole wheat greek yogurt pancakes  

pizza bites

parsely pesto pasta stuffed aubergine boats

sausage and mushroom risotto  

tortilla soup deep dish chocolate chip cookie  

crab cakes blue cheese drop biscuits

coconut chicken soup  

cowboy steaks

asparagus white bean pesto pasta  

spice up your hot chocolate  

butterbeer recipe 100 cal snacks  

sweet potato fries

peanut butter milkshake  

strawberry banana ice cream  

cinnamon carrot chips with honey yogurt dip  

parmesan roasted broccoli  

greek salad skewers dressed up popcorn buffalo chicken dip  

baked apple chips fried sweet plantains

coconut milk whipped cream  

zuccini + cheese  

fruit dip  

ice cream sandwich  

magic cocoa recipe

triple chocolate mousse cake

cake batter ice cream  

mini chocolate chip muffins  

easy baked doughnuts  

chocolate pie  

almond joy smoothie milkshake  

raw strawberry cheesecake white chocolate mousse cupcake  

toasted coconut chocolate chip cookies

cinnamon rolls (gluten free)  

mini pumpkin cheesecakes more cupcakes  

red velvet chocolate swirled brownie bars chocolate and pomegranate cake

Make-Up

Brushes:

Face Brushes

Eye Brush cheat sheet

Brush 101

Sponges and uses for ‘em

Face:

Routine Flow Chart

Even Skin tone

Contour your Face Shape

Right Blush for your Skin tone

Applying Liquid Foundation

How to use Concealer

Eyes:

Tips for the Smokey Eyes

How To: Winged Eyeliner

Bridal Eye Makeup

Fall Makeup Ideas

Perfect Smokey for your Eye Shape

Mascara Hacks

How to: Mascara

Using Mascara as Eyeliner

How To: Apply False Lashes

Eyebrow:

Grooming and Shaping Tutorial

Tips and Tricks 101

Eyebrow Tutorial(more)

7 Tips

Lips:

Nude Lipstick Guide

MAC Lipstick Dupes

The Red Lip Rule Book

17 Perfect Lips Tips

Perfect Pin for your Skin Tone

Perfect Orange for your Skin Tone

Ten Commandments of Lipstick

Do’s and Don’ts of Dark Lipstick

Some YouTube Tutorials:

Pixiwoo

Tanya Burr

Katerina

Lauren Curtis

MsRosieBea

Zoellas

CutiePieMarzia

Michelle Phan

MakeupbyCamilla2

Hair

Your Probably Washing it Wrong?

Longer, Thicker, And Sexier Hair

The Perfect Ponytail

Lazy Girl Hairstyles

5 Updo Hairstyles

29 Inspiring Hairstyles

Perfect Messy Bun

Ways to Braid

Three Braid Updo

no heat curls

straight hair with no heat

5 hairstyles for medium hair

5 ways to wear a beanie

Crafts (May have overdone this a bit)

Homemade Crayon Lipblam

Tissue Paper Flowers

Cloud Nightlights

Calm Bottle

Jellyfish in a jar

Craft on a Low Budget

Crochet for Beginners

Knitting for Beginners

Free Knitting Patterns

10 Other Uses for Nail Polish

DIY rainbow welcome Mat

BOMB ASS FUCKING NAILS

Make your own Rock Candy

Unicorn Fart Vials

Tabletop Ice Hockey

Origami Paper Nesting Cats

Pixie Dust Pendent

Sparkly ass silly putty

Birthday Candle Crown

Glow in the Dark Water Balloons

Felt wire Crown

Oceanic Crafts

Sail Ice Cubes

Pipe cleaner Princesses

Origami Blinking Eye

Diamond Pipe Cleaner Tutorial

Melted Snowman Ornament

DIY Mustaches- One and Two

DIY Desktop Sandbox

DIY Glitter Tattoos

Hairstyle Doll with growing/shortening Hair

Googly Eye Flip Flops

Lunch bag Drawings

Pom Pom Necklace

Wooden Gem Illusion

Bread Tag Monsters

Cardboard Loom(I’ve done this and can definitely say to try it)

Blessing Bag

Tin Can Lanterns

Leak-Proof Water Blob

20 Uses for Cupcake Liners

Hanging String Balls

Make Stuff Out of Cereal Boxes

Turn an Old Hardcover Book into a Notebook 

Quizzes

What Kind of Nerd are You?

Are you more like Sam or Dean Winchester

Adventure time Character based on Diet

What LEGO Movie Character are you?

What Makes you Hot?

Can we Guess your Favorite Color?

What Teen Titan are you?

What Big Hero 6 Character are you?

Which Invader Zim Character are you?

Which Scooby-Doo Character are you?

Which Titanic Character are you?

Which Full House Character are you?

Which Walking Dead Character are you?

Which Grey’s Anatomy Character are you?

What do People Always Underestimate About you? 


I’ll Update as often as I can with new stuff so stay tuned! 

-Deks

Yes, everybody I know there are no links! Tumblr updated one day and they just disappeared! Sadly, this was a great master post but that’s the end of that!

anonymous asked:

Oh my godddddd stop acting like every single employee wants to make you spend a shit ton of money. I work in fast food and half the time when I suggest combos, I get yelled at. I had a man get upset and yell at me in drive thru because I put his meal as a combo and he didn't want a two scary taco combo with his 3 egg rolls and a drink, he just wanted "two scary tacos, 3 egg rolls& a drink",he ended up paying 5 dollars more. I don't even fight with them anymore about it,want to spend more? Fine.

sapphic-suchoripterus  asked:

So got fluffy or goofy headcanons for Cole? I need my son to be happy

OH MOOD? bless I sure as heck do my friend!! I need him to be happy too he’s a good boy

  • If his friends are sad then he is sad and he will do anything he can to cheer them up
    • Cole: Lloyd, I got $3 and a lunch coupon so get in loser we’re going to the mall to turn that frown upside down!!
      Lloyd: thank you but… you can’t get a lot with $3 dollars and… I don’t want you to use your money on me…
      Cole: … Lloyd, I’m gonna steal Wu’s wallet, I got $3 and a lunch coupon so get in loser we’re going to the mall to turn that frown upside down!!
      Lloyd: ok you got me I’m in- hey maybe if I cry to my mom she’ll give me money too??
      Cole: EXCELLENT IDEA LLOYD THIS IS WHY YOU’RE THE LEADER
  • Loves dogs so much, he would die for all dogs
    • if you ask him if he prefers big or small dogs he’ll be like “I do not discriminate all dogs are QUEENS”
    • they went to go visit a shelter to do an advert to encourage adoption and they were like “ok time to go now" and Cole was on the floor spooning 3 dogs
  • Kai is naturally warm because fire, but so is cole strangely enough?? he just radiates heat, and he’s a hugger so he’ll just latch on to you and hug you for like 15 minutes and it’s the toastiest 15 minutes you’ll ever experience
  • Stroke his hair and he will go from >:/ to :D !!!!!!
  • He definitely flexes in front of the mirror in the morning because he makes himself laugh and he tries to start the day out with a smile
  • Mother hen, sometimes worries about the team so if he can’t sleep he will sneak around and peek in their rooms to make sure they’re all ok and asleep and that none of them are having bad dreams
  • He loves his friends and even though he makes fun of them sometimes he would give them the shirt off his back, but whenever they do something nice for him he will cry
    • Zane: cole! I found a flower and it reminded me of you!! Here!! :D
      Cole: *bursts into tears* it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen Zane I love you this is so sweet I’m going to keep it forever and then frame it and when I die I want it buried with me how do I get this moment tattooed onto myself
      Zane: :D !!!!!!!!!!
  • When Lloyd first aged up cole was like *bolts up at 3am* “LLOYD NEVER FINISHED SCHOOL??” and neither did he but he’s like no this green bean is too important he needs to have all the good things and opportunities in life, so he makes a schedule to teach Lloyd all the life lessons he’s going to need but makes sure to not force him to do anything and to make it fun, cause he understands that he’s still just a kid and he needs to relax and enjoy himself
  • Will absolutely slow dance with everyone in the team while singing to them and make them swoon
  • Can singlehandedly lift the everyone’s morale just by bursting into song, it is impossible to not join in
  • I know I write a lot of these but he is crazy talented when it comes to performing arts, there isn’t an instrument he’s not been able to play.
    • Plays left handed guitar and bass because right handed was too easy.
    • Hand cole a new instrument and he’ll be like “yeah I’ll give it a go not sure how it’ll go” and in a few hours he’ll be playing like he’s been doing it his whole life?
    • One time they were walking back after a mission and saw this piano for sale on the side of the road and they’re like “hey cole play!!!” And he’s like “um ok but I only had a few lessons and I haven’t played in years so I’m not that good haha” and then whips out this freaking concerto piece from memory and everyone’s like ??!?!?!!!!? And he’s like “guys pls it’s not a big deal” and gets all red
    • he’s a humble boy with some confidence issues ok just give him a pat on the head
  • Cole: I canNOT do this ok I can’t do it no way I’m doing it
    Zane: you can do it cole!!
    Cole: … I can DO IT I’m gonna do it heck yeah let’s do it!!!!!!!!
  • Takes “I would take a bullet for you” too far, has literally taken a bullet for all of them.
    • “look I gotta be fair I can’t not take a bullet for one of you”
    • “don’t worry I’m so good at it now I know how to jump in front of the bullet in a way that it won’t rupture any of my vital organs”
  • Will be like “I’m going food shopping I love you all text me if you want anything” and then smooch everyone on the head
  • *Sees two people kissing* *points* “SMORCH”
  • Cole: I just wanna kiss a cute guy is that too much to ask
    Zane: I would definitely kiss you if you wanted Cole
    Cole: *chokes on his drink*
    Zane: because we are bros. A bro kiss.
    Cole: I CANT BREATH E,,
  • He’s been trying to teach Zane puns and stuff but it backfires when Zane makes really heartfelt ones all the time and Cole is weak
    Zane: cole, I cannot die but if I could, I would die for you.
    Cole:
    Zane:
    Cole:
    Zane:
    *finger guns*
    Cole: *clutches heart* I can’t look at you right now
  • He has the most contagious laugh?
    • One time he remembered that vine of the cat that runs into the door of a bakery on tv and he kept giggling to himself and when Kai asked him what he was laughing about he couldn’t tell him??
    • He just kept laughing and before he knew it he was laughing so hard he was snorting and had fallen on the floor and was crying
    • Kai was like ‘what’ but Cole is just so loud that he starts laughing and then he’s was crying too about goodness even knows what, this went on for like 10 minutes
    • just when cole thought he was calm enough to tell him jay walked past and went “what is going on you sound like a pair of dying cats” and cole just SHRIEKS and starts hysterically laughing again and Kai and cole are gone
    • jay loves when cole does the most sincere laughs cause he just sounds so happy and the fact that him and Kai are just on the floor laughing about some unspoken thing makes him laugh so jay ends up laughing and they’re all dying someone help them please
    • there was so much laughing that jay had an asthma attack and they were all in pain the next day
    • they still don’t know to this day what cole found so funny
    • he has no idea why he even thought it was that hilarious? Like it just gave him a good chuckle it’s just a cat running into a door, but for some reason he was unable to speak of it.
  • He’s the team hairdresser, Zane gets all :( that he can’t join in the fun and get his hair cut so Nya installs a thing that means he can make his hair grow if he wants and the next day he bursts through Cole’s door with Rapunzel hair and is like “I am ready for a haircut cole!!!!!! :D” Cole is like “bless what did we do to deserve this boy god if you’re out there thank u”
  • please smooch his face he loves being smooched
  • when cole says he will help you with something he means it, he will make sure all your questions are answered and that you have everything you need before leaving you too it, even if it means he has to stay up until the early hours of the morning
  • once ran through into Jay’s room at 4am wrapped in a blanket burrito, tears streaming down his face, and screamed “I’M A SAUSAGE-COLE
  • cause cole is the tallest they will always do that thing where one of them is on one end of an inflatable and cole will jump on the other and see how high he can fling them in the air
    • all 5 of them jumped on one it while cole was on the end and they almost flung him into the void
  • “step aside and let the ninja with super strength open up this jar” *almost passes out straining to get the lid off*
  • “isn’t it crazy how there are so many galaxies out there, like there could be people just like us in an earth just like ours. Or a parallel universe, have you ever thought about that? and there’s probably someone somewhere doing the exact same thing that you are doing right now……….. anyway so who wants to see how much of my scythe I can fit in my mouth”

((These got a bit shippy I’m sorry I couldn’t help it I saw “fluffy” and went “Zane" ajdnwje I hope you don’t mind!!!))

Ask me ninjago headcanons!

Little Bitty Pretty One

Steve x Reader

Summary: It’s Saturday morning and that means pancakes in the tower.

Word Count: 1258

Warnings: Brief swearing.

A/N: I was watching Matilda and getting into my Steve feels, so I came up with this. Also I pull a lot of inspiration from @bovaria


You rose with the sun that morning. Stretching off the last bit of sleep from your limbs, you made your way into the bathroom. You laughed at the reflection in the mirror. You looked like Kevin from the animated film UP.

You lazily tied your hair back from your face before turning on the faucet to wash your face. You smiled at your fresh face and made sure to fit a sparkly smile to the rest of your appearance. With half the team gone and only you, Steve, Wanda, and Vision at the tower, you decided your sleep shorts and a white v-neck shirt were appropriate enough.

You slipped your feet into some slippers and slid down the hallways to the kitchen. Giving your best Elvis Presley guns to the ceiling, you called,” Hey F.R.I.D.A.Y, how about some jams? Maybe some malt shop oldies?” Stark’s automated system obliged and soon enough some toe-tapping, hip shaking tunes were on.

You bopped your way into the pantry. Your shoulders rose and fell to the beat, while you searched for the pancake mix. Aunt Jemima’s happy face smiled back at you when you pulled the box from the shelf. You sauntered out and placed the box on the counter before swiveling to grab the eggs and milk from the fridge.

You bent down to grab yourself a pan, your butt moving left to write with the sound of the music.

“You’re a great dancer.”

Keep reading

youtube

AT&T commercial with future Six Billion Dollar Man Mark Wahlberg and James Marsden as Teddy the Westworld host.

I feel like Steve and Bucky sometimes sit down to watch HGTV, and being children of the Depression they lose their shit about these people complaining that their million dollar summer home doesn’t have a wet bar and start yelling at the TV and Tony’s like YOU GUYS THIS IS ALL SCRIPTED and Sam just films it on his phone and puts it on Youtube

2

So… I was in Venice this past week and tried to recreate this scene from The Tourist where Johnny walks through Piazza San Marco and all the pigeons fly away

But the pigeons literally could not give a fuuuuuck about me walking through them… apparently unless they’re starring in a million dollar film they won’t put in the effort of gathering in one place or flying away, little assholes

anyway, enjoy my attempt and consequent side eye and ‘what the fuck guys’ arm gestures