dollar and fish

fish keeper problems

•people ask ‘what’s that smell?’ It’s you. You smell like fish tank. No matter how much perfume/cologne/scented body wash you use. Fish Tank.

• sobbing as you look at your tank “where did this duckweed c o m e f r o m”

•when you see a betta/goldfish 'bowl’

•"hey wanna go out to eat" “sorry can’t. Gotta buy some brine shrimp from the store across town”

•you look at a fish. Your wallet screams in agony. You buy the fish

•"I have room for another fish tank if I just get rid of my bed"

•sleeves constantly damp. Always.

•who are you going to find to take care of your fish when your on vacation. They’re not going to remember the right foods for each fish, and what chemicals and how much to dose, they’re not going to know what plants have to be trimmed. What about the live food. Conclusion: you can never go on vacation

•where is my fish. Oh no he’s d e a d. Oh never mind, he was just doing his best imitation of a floating plant. Asshole.

•missing a water change=anxiety

•spilling the pellets all over the floor

•-spends 2376.98 dollars on fish stuff without batting an eye- oh no, I can’t go to McDonald’s. That’s too expensive.

•fish: varied diet, lots of enrichment you: top ramen you found in the back of your cabinet from approximately 12 years ago, Binge watching Netflix for a straight month

•yeah, I have a betta fish in a ten gallon tank “oh sweaty.. :)) you can keep them in bowls!! What a waste of space!!! Put an -insert completely incompatible species- in there :))))))”

•I have five goldfish in a 125 gallon tank “lol, I have seven in a ten gallon, and one in a vase”

•the urge to punch every chain store retail worker who says that “gold fish are good starter pets!!1!!11! Put it in this 0.2 gallon tank!! Hell! Put it in half a cup of water!!!”

•people who brag that they kept a betta fish alive for “a whole month!”

•algae. Where did all this algae come from??

•your floor is terribly warped from all the water dripping onto it. Your landlord is horrified

•crying for an hour because you spilled an e n t i r e bottle of Flourish

•Prime. Just… Just don’t smell it. Ever.

•getting your friends to smell Prime

•"I want a planted tank!!“ "ALL MY PLANTS ARE DYING”

•you bought twelve shrimp. You never see them again.

•p o n d s n a i l s

•being too sensitive to cull baby snails, getting them their own tank instead

•eating a fish flake. Just once. You just wanted to know what it tasted like

•you will never be satisfied with your tank. Ever.

•retirement fund? More like retimeformorefishtanks fund

•loving each individual fish like your first born child

•you know the difference between all fifty of your neon tetras

•water changes with sand

•-buys adorable chili rasboras- -betta eats them- that was the most expensive snack you’ve ever eaten you idiot

Feel free to add your own

A small portion of my seashell collection, the more unique ones ─ my mom found all of these while travelling (except for the little starfish, which my friend gave me in elementary school, and the quartz point) 💖 to me, the broken conches (farthest left) look like magical wands, the broken shell on the top right looks like a bat wing and the piece of coral on the bottom right hand corner looks like a mermaid’s tail! 🐚✨

Fight, fight!!

Since today is the last day of Mermay, here’s another one! Based on a fish I had when I was a kid

A question

So I was looking around the Dollar Tree with my grandma today and we passed the abundant amount of fake plants they have. I wanted to buy a few to put in Azyr’s tank but I’m hesitant because I’m not sure how safe it is. I’ve seen a few people’s tanks with them and thought they were gorgeous.

My question is: is this safe? If so, what should I be looking out for? Will certain plants leak chemicals and paint into the tank and possibly harm my fish?

I absolutely love Azyr to death and really want to give him a good and comfy tank, but I’m also a teenager whose only money comes from birthdays and maybe some chores if my parents are feeling generous. It took me months to save up for a ten gallon tank and everything a betta needs to be safe and comfortable so any cheap ways to enrich his life is a blessing. Thank you!

Holy Fuck, Someone Kept A Silver Dollar In A Bowl For 3.5 Years

Yeah, you read that right. I had to drop off something a neighbor left at my house, and in the windowsill was a dusty old fishbowl. I assumed there were dead/dying succulents or something in there, because the in the bottom of the bowl was a grayish-greenish-brownish lump. (Idk go with it I didn’t have my glasses on) I’m really into plants, so I walked over to it on my way out. Upon closer inspection, I saw it had eyes. And gills. And what was left of rotted brown fins. Yeah, someone had kept a fucking spotted silver dollar in a .5 gallon fish bowl. I asked my neighbor for her, and they gladly gave her to me. “I’ve been waiting for this god damn thing to die for 3 and a half years.” So this poor little girl has been kept in a bowl hardly bigger than her for at least 3.5 years. So naturally, I dropped it off, grabbed the bowl, and got the fuck outta there. I put her in my 20 gal. cory tank as soon as I got home, because my 55 is already overstocked. She’s about 3.5 inches long, her find are tattered and brown, her eyes are cloudy, but she seems otherwise active. She doesn’t have any issue with feeding or swimming other than she’s a little slow. As soon as I rehome my loaches from the 55, she’ll be going in there. Does anyone have advice? I think she’ll make it, but I’m not depending on it. If anyone has some advice, I’d really appreciate it. I love her already, and I really want her to pull through.

just to be clear

acceptable: pranking your children every once in a while ( scary maze game, silly string surprise, dollar bill on a fishing line, fake poop etc )

unacceptable: physically and emotionally abusing your children ( breaking their toys, pushing them around, yelling and swearing in their face ) and consistently exploiting your children’s discomfort and pain for profit


“So, what you’re saying is that you’re essentially a fish.”
“I am not a bloody fish, Hux.”

Kylux Merman AU in which:

  • Hux is an overworked CEO of his family’s multimillion-dollar fishing company, First Order fisheries. Following a major stressed induced nervous breakdown, he’s forced to his grandparent’s old seaside mansion to recuperate. Doctor’s orders. 
  • Whilst sullenly walking along the private beach by the house, Hux catches sight of what looks like a person hopelessly entangled in one of his company’s fishing nets. 
  • Wanting to avoid a potential publicity nightmare, Hux rushes over to the figure, swiss army knife in hand, only to find that the individual trapped in said net is not exactly human.
  • Meanwhile, Kylo is the headstrong prince of an undersea colony ruled by his mother, Queen Leia. 
  • The heir to the throne and the colony’s fiercest warrior, he is also a chronic rule-breaker who frequently breaches the surface and swims near the two-legs’ dwellings (which is how he got caught in the net in the first place)
  • Kylo’s colony is also currently in conflict with another colony ruled by a mysterious being known as Snoke (but that’s a story for another time)
  • Although Kylo’s people have vocal cords, they communicate with each other primarily through telepathy (though clicks and squeaks are also used under certain circumstances!)
  • Hux is shocked enough to find what looks like a merman entangled in his company’s fishing net, but he near passes out when he hears Kylo in his head for the first time. 
  • Kylo is badly injured by the net, too hurt to return to his home in the sea. In a rare moment of compassion, Hux takes pity on him and takes him into his home to nurse him back to health (anything to break the tedium of day to day life without his work).
  • Hux is only going to take care of Kylo till he recovers, and then he’s going to dump him back into the ocean. Not a day longer, he swears. 
  • Yeah right. 

I am thrilled to share this AU with you guys! Anyone who’s known me for a while will know that I love mermaid au’s, and really it was only a matter of time before I turned my greedy eyes to my current OTP!

A HUGE thank you to @hux-you-up who not only didn’t balk and run screaming for the hills when I hesitantly suggested this AU to her, but has spent hours and hours enthusiastically discussing it with me, building and fleshing out this verse to something pretty damn solid! We definitely have enough material here for a full-length fic of epic proportions. Maybe someday, maybe someday. ;)