dolla make you holla

50 PICKUP LINES THAT WORK 108% OF THE TIME

1. Do you turn water into electricity through hydropower because DAM
2. Are you an element because i’d periodically do you on a table
3. Are you an atom because ive got my ion you
4. I want you more than Leonardo Dicaprio wants an Oscar
5. I might be the left shark but youre the right shark for me
6. Do you have an iphone i can borrow? I just really need google maps because im completely lost in your eyes right now
7. I like you more than kanye likes kanye
8. Are you hot topic because im uncomfortable when i enter you
9. Are you from starbucks because i like you a latte
10. The club isn’t the only thing goin up on a tuesday
11. Do you want to get chipotlaid
12. Minerals aren’t the only thing I crave
13. I’d share my tots with you
14. I see youre drinking skim milk. Is that because you think youre fat? Because youre not. You could drink whole if you wanted to.
15. Is your name Neville because I long for your bottom
16. Tea won’t be the only thing i’m dropping into your harbour
17.U just (nicholas) caged my heart
18. Are you tired? Youve been running through my mind all day
19. If i was a superhero, id be YourMan
20. Tags arent the only thing i’m gonna be poppin
21. Vincent van gogh out with me
22. If you were my homework i’d do you
23. Are you my pinky toe because i want to bang you on every piece of furniture in my house
24. Are you spahgetti because i’d love you to meat my balls
25. Youre the hottest pocket
26. My heads in the game but itd rather be between your thighs
27. Are you playing mario golf because you just won this hole
28. In west philadelphia, born and raised, on top of you is how i’ll be spending most of today
29. Roses are red violets are blue like the titanic im going down on you
30. Your soul isnt the only thing i wanna suck
31. If im mozart, will you be my baethoven
32. All this cream cheese and i still want you in my bae goals
33. Do you play sims because YIPKEE BANAKATOO! NABO BAZEDDD
34. Do you want creme bru laid for dessert
35. Are you from hogwarts because id love to slytherin your pants
36. Catching the golden snitch isnt the only thing i can do with my mouth
37. Hell ive fallen for you and cant get up
38. Are you raven because i’ll be your lil nasty
39. Are you Robin Thicke because get the fuck away from me
40. Are you instagram because i’m likin what i see
41. Is that a cellphone in your back pocket because dat ass is calling me
42. Are you tumblr because im gonna be on you all night
43. Tonight, im gonna put a snake in YOUR boot
44. Is your name wifi because im feelin a connection
45. If you were a sharpie youd be ultra fine
46. A dolla aint gonna be the only thing that makes you holla tonight honey boo boo child
47. You can hakuna my tatas
48. Youre the obi-wan for me
49. Are you feelin it now mr krabs
50. You make my life les miserables

[DMMD Fic] Amusement (Noiz/Aoba)

Amusement

Word count: 2,500

Summary: Written for my secret santa Aobaseragakii, with the prompt calling for an amusement park date. Takes place after Noiz’s good route.

—–

    Aoba’s first thought when Noiz takes him to an amusement park is what will happen if Noiz sets off the metal detector–and how he’ll explain why. His second is that he’s not entirely sure he wants to go on a roller coaster with four loops.

     Mostly though, he dwells on the first. It’s enough of a burden on his mind when Noiz asks whether or not he’s excited. Aoba lets his thoughts tumble out in a not-quite-coherent way that leaves Noiz looking at him like his head is busted for one, two, three seconds before that dumb half-interested smirk curves his lips.

“Well if it’s a problem, I’m sure I can make them see it my way.”

“Okay first of all, I don’t know if you mean whipping it out, or greasing their palms with money,” Aoba starts, “And secondly, both of those will definitely get you kicked out before we even get in.”

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The signs as facebook posts made by a really gay kid at my school

Aries: now im peanut butter and jealous

Taurus: All you need to have is a great personality and a nice butt then I’ll be like a kid in a candy store

Gemini: I ain’t easy i ain’t sleazy, i got reasons why i tease em, boys just come and go like seasons.

Cancer: AMANDA BYNES TWEETS MAKE MY DAY

Leo: explain to me how I accomplished to choke on my own spit? is that normal? am I going to die

Virgo: can I just say that I’d love to have gaybies with Jesus.

Libra: It’s not gay if it’s for a klondike bar

Scorpio: A dolla make me holla… and if you think I’m joking… I’m not ;D

Sagittarius: Roses are gay, Violets are gay, you’re gay

Capricorn: When you tell gay boys fake girlfriend the truth :’D

Aquarius: go take a very long walk….. off a very short pier.

Pisces: I need a cocktail… hold the tail -feeling gay