doll of the dead

Why I Don’t Think Victorian Mourning Practices Were Creepy

(a much-requested post)

so for those of you unfamiliar with the topic, a brief primer. Victorians had a very formal mourning culture; the bereaved would dress in certain ways for certain periods of time, special mourning jewelry often made of jet and pearls was very popular, and practices we look askance at today like post-mortem photography and the production of wax mourning dolls wearing the clothes of dead children were commonplace

okay I’m not actually sure about the mourning dolls. it’s a popularly-cited “tradition” that I can’t find any 100% certain evidence of. there definitely are wax baby and child dolls with real hair presented in elaborate boxes, but devotional wax dolls meant to depict the baby Jesus were also a thing, so- anyway. getting off topic there.

post-mortem photography in particular appears in listicles with titles like “10 WTF Things Victorians Did!” and that really irritates me, because it’s just how people dealt with grieving. if we look- really look -at our modern culture, very few of these practices have gone away. they’ve just become informal and personalized, rather than being part of a formal, near-universal mourning culture

many parents still save a lock of a baby’s hair, even if they don’t make elaborate hairwork jewelry with it. we still assign special meaning to a ring given us by a dead relative, or a locket. post-mortem photography still exists; there are post-mortem photographs of my late older brother at his funeral, and in an age where photography is a matter of tapping a screen, pictures of the deceased in life are more likely to exist and negate the need for posed corpse photos. we still wear black to funerals and some people wear black armbands for longer to indicate mourning, though the custom is fast-disappearing. all that’s really gone is the understood public face of mourning

and I feel like that’s not entirely a good thing. there’s no universal way to say “I’m grieving; please understand and take that into account.” we’re expected to get back to normal as soon as possible and be unaffected by the loss of a loved one (if not explicitly then tacitly, as seen in the societal messages around us). it’s my belief that the period of mourning allowed people to take more time with the natural grieving process

of course, the flip side of that was that grieving could be dishonest and force people into uncomfortable situations. a widow whose abusive husband died, for example, would be expected to mourn for at least two years (and a large chunk of that in the veil and uncomfortable ultra-conservative black gowns of deepest mourning)

so in the end, I don’t feel like one or the other is really better. nowadays we have a more personalized form of mourning, but we’re expected to be okay again as soon as possible and people don’t really know what to do with someone who is grieving. in the 19th century they had this codified, public mourning that everyone recognized and understood, but those rules could force people into mourning in a way that wasn’t comfortable for them (or even necessary, sometimes). however, I do not in any way feel that Victorian mourning culture was creepy

we’re all just trying to cope with one of the most heartbreaking things one can experience in the best way possible. regardless of time and place. and if people can’t see the emotions of loss and longing behind even the more esoteric mourning practices of the 19th century, I don’t know what to tell them

wicked games : a fanmix for the suffering game 


“You know the rules: once you sacrifice something here, you don’t get it back!”

christina aguilera - enter the circus/welcome // lady gaga - paparazzi // circus contraption - carousel // mother mother - body // stolen babies - filistata // humanwine - rivolta silenziosa // the dresden dolls - necessary evil // firewater - borneo // p!nk - funhouse // dead man’s bones - lose your soul // jason webley - dance while the sky crashes down 

Beard Burn

Characters: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve likes to grow his beard out between missions, and you think its sexy.  He wants to know why you think so, then he gets turned on. (it’s just smut)

A/N: inspired by the goddamn soft!bearded!steve board.  y’all….just let me live. also i need to learn how to title things.  i called it fucking “beard burn.” @ myself come on…

Warnings: oral sex (fr), language

Words: 2148

Tags: @daybreak96 @feelmyroarrrr @jimtkirkisabitch 

Part Two

(this gif made me wet tbh)


Steve glances up over his book at the sound of you entering the room.  He smiles.  “Hey, doll.”

You stop dead.  “You have got to be kidding me,” you mutter, taking him in.  He’s lounging back on the bed in nothing but a pair of low riding sweats. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, he was still growing out his beard.  And—God help you—he was wearing glasses.

“Goddamn it, Steve.”

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Squad T-Shirts! Dolls still doesn’t fully support the idea.
(But he does support the message. @syfy, PLEASE! I NEVER ASKED YOU ANYTHING)
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ADAW 35/52 - Marigolds

Finally I was able to take this photos ;w; as I planned the original ADAW with Enrico I wanted to take photos of him in front of my own raised Marigold flowers but they grew very slow. Now they are tall and so pretty. Enrico looks like he is in his natural habitat and fits this scenery so well ♥ I‘m so happy.

Girlfriend: “are you okay?”

Me: “Nicole told Waverly that she loved her after lying to protect her but Waves didn’t say it back bc she’s upset but we know she loves her back and-” 😭😭😭😭