doll crap

It still pains me that Jackie/Hyde had so much potential to be a healthy, loving couple, that made one-another better people and loved each other enough to talk about their problems and support each other through them without jumping to conclusions but it was all ruined because the writers choose unnecessary drama over giving the audience a well developed relationship.

The List - Bucky x Reader - One Shot

Originally posted by buckwildbarnes

You punched the button on the elevator and sighed, closing your eyes. It was disastrous date one after another. This guy was sent a message by his ex right when you were having dinner and getting along. He then proceeded to show you the text message of her wanting to try again before running off.

The other one previously was obnoxiously rude. He interrupted the waitress when she was talking about the specials, he interrupted you and straight out said your opinion was wrong when you were talking about movies, at first you thought he was trying to be funny, until you realised he was more serious than ever.

The elevator doors opened and you walked straight into the living room and fell onto the couch with a sigh. Steve shot Wanda a worried look as she moved over to you and rubbed your arm.

“No more dates, I’ve had enough. I’m done” You mumbled into the couch before rolling over to look at the ceiling.

“You say this but then you go on about how you miss the intimacy of a relationship and enjoying their company..” Wanda explained and you covered your eyes with your arm. She was right as always.

“Bad date again?” You heard a deep voice pipe up, you lifted your head to see Bucky in the doorway, sipping coffee from a mug without a care in the world. If anything, he seemed almost smug. You looked at him, his white vest on and his flattering grey sweatpants on. This would be much easier if Bucky Barnes would just love you. 

“You could say that” You mumbled, sitting up and pulling your coat off and your shoes. Wanda shot Bucky a look which brought him to sit next to you. Steve soon excused himself and Wanda put her face in a magazine. 

“C’mon doll, we’ll watch some crap TV and you’ll be over whatever his name is in no time” Bucky rubbed your arm, you dropped your head on his shoulder as he put on animal planet, knowing the puppies were gonna cheer you up. 


It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep with your head on Bucky’s lap, as soon as he started playing with your hair you were a goner.

“Bucky Barnes” Wanda hissed making him snap out of his lovesick trance as he watched you. “Do something.”

“I can’t just do something” Bucky hissed back “I’m not what she’s looking for.”

“What’s that then?” Wanda raised an eyebrow making Bucky groan.

“A man with two actual arms, not previously brainwashed, not previously an assassin. Someone who knows how to have a good time. I haven’t even kissed anyone since the 40s..” Bucky listed off, he realised his jerky movements had woke you temporarily from your slumber. He froze on the spot as you sat up and yawned, rubbing your eyes. You gave them both a small wave before heading to your bedroom.

“Did she hear anything?” Bucky asked panicked.

“No she’s still mostly asleep” Wanda reassured.


The next day you went in the kitchen to grab some breakfast when something really odd happened. Bucky had himself pressed up against Wanda as she bent down to get something. The look of horror crossed his face as he noticed what you walked in on. You felt slightly disheartened, you had only been in love with Bucky since you started, but he never reciprocated your feelings, so who were you to be angry. It did sting you a little that it was Wanda of all people.

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll uh..come back later” You stuttered over your words before making a swift exit, not able to get that image out of your mind.

“Barnes, please get your dick away from me” Wanda cursed picking up the plates she had dropped behind the island. 

“I didn’t mean to, I just went to grab them as you did and now Y/N walked in and..” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair “This is bad.”

“Look it doesn’t matter, she probably didn’t think anything of it.” Wanda reassured sitting down with her food “As I was saying, we are gonna go through your list of things and make you the perfect candidate.”

Wanda frowned as she picked up the piece of paper that Bucky had passed to her, clearly ripped from his journal.

1. Two arms.

“Bucky, Y/N is not superfical, and you know she loves your arm, plus there’s not much we can do about that” Wanda frowned. “Okay what’s next?”

2. Handsome

“Alright, what do you say about getting a haircut Barnes? And a shave?” Wanda asked and Bucky fiddled with his hands before nodding. He really did like Y/N, and even though he had an inkling she liked him back, he wanted to really blow her away.


You walked into the living room, blanket in hand and chocolate in the other. The room was fully free for once, which was strange it never happened. You had been out all day with Natasha, trying to get you set up with one of her friends. After seeing Bucky and Wanda, it kind of gave you the kick up the ass you needed.

You took comfort in the corner of the sofa and put on your favourite film, Dirty Dancing. You eyed Bucky walking into the room and frowned as he sat down next to you. His hair was much shorter, much much shorter. 

“Hey doll, mind if I join?” He asked with a smile as you eyed his hair, and his smooth face.

“No that’s fine, what happened to your hair Buck?” You asked, running your hand through it. You couldn’t lie he looked good, but this wasn’t the Bucky you were used to. Especially considering he was wearing some very strange designer pyjamas as well. 

“Wanda suggested I get it cut, don’t you like it?” He asked worriedly as you gave him a strange look. Your hands now running along his jaw as you inspected either side of his hair.

“It suits you, it looks good. Just not used to it” You said sitting back down. Of course Wanda would suggest he get a haircut. Maybe it was his choice too, you just hoped she wasn’t rushing him into changing himself.  “Those pyjamas are ridiculous though” You teased.

“What?” He said looking down at his blue button up. “I thought this was fashion”

“Since when does James Barnes do fashion?” You giggled. He smirked and tickled you playfully for your comment. You stopped giggling when he pulled the shirt over his head and chucked it to the side. You soon realised how dry your mouth was, and turned back to the film as he relaxed into your side.  You needed to stop oggling your friends boyfriend.


“You’re getting stubbly” Wanda warned Bucky as they sat down in the living room together to go over the next part of his list. It had been a few days and although he appreciated the haircut, he didn’t like being completely clean shaven, he felt naked. Plus you complimented him on how it looked better now.

“I know, it’s fine. I’m uh, I’m not sure if we should practice this part. Feels wrong” Bucky said chewing his lip. 

“It doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a friend helping a friend” Wanda shrugged, a lot more comfortable than what Bucky was.

“What if I get it wrong?” Bucky flushed “I really don’t wanna screw this up.”

“I thought you were the ultimate ladies man back in the 40s, you need to get that confidence back. Be cocky, girls love it” Wanda said with a smile before turning to Bucky. She watched him fidget about and sighed before grabbing his face and kissing him hard.

You had ran around the whole kitchen, unable to find your one hoody. It was freezing outside and there was no way you were going anywhere without it. When it seemed like there was no hope, you ran down to Bucky’s room and knocked, he would know where it was. 

After a few minutes when there was no response, you headed back upstairs and into the living room. You stopped dead in your tracks when you watched Wanda and Bucky making out pretty heavy on the couch. You sucked in a breath, they were your friends you had to be happy for them. Bucky’s eyes opened wide when he caught you stood there, trying not to interrupt as you moved around the living room, trying to find your hoody.

“Y/N?” Bucky cleared his throat, pushing Wanda away gently.

“Sorry guys, I’m just trying to find my hoody, I’ll be out in a second” You mentioned, your voice quiet, trying to hide the hurt. Bucky realised Wanda and him had been lying on it and pulled it out from under him. He passed it to you and frowned when he noticed you avoiding his gaze. 

“Thanks, have fun guys” You mumbled before jogging out the room.

Bucky looked to Wanda who shrugged before going back to his list.

“What’s the point in me going through this list if Y/N won’t wanna go on a date with me?” Bucky asked disheartened from the hurt written across your face.

“We’ll set her up like a surprise date. Don’t worry, you guys will have your happy ever after. That kiss Barnes was mighty impressive” Wanda giggled to herself.

“Yeah, thanks” Bucky mumbled, distracted.


You had avoided Bucky and Wanda for the remainder of the week. Bucky had tried to talk to you but when he did, he was giving you sarcastic remarks and acting like a dick. You had no idea what was going on with him. But that didn’t matter, you had a date tonight and you were going to make sure this one actually went smoothly.

You had no idea what this guy looked like or if he was remotely nice. But Natasha pushed that it was meant to be and that he would sweep you off your feet. You opted for a sleek black dress and a little bit of make up, you didn’t want to go all out like you had on the other dates, believing now that you weren’t showing them your true self.

“Table for L/N” You asked the waiter who greeted you. 

“Oh your party is already here, please follow me” He said with a smile. You followed him, nerves hitting you as you smoothed down your dress. Well here goes nothing.

You frowned when you seen Bucky sat at the table, a nice blue shirt and jacket on, his hair pushed back and a smile on his face. He thanked the waiter and took your hand, sitting down with you.

“What’s going on? Is this a prank?” You asked, looking around trying to see if Tony was hiding somewhere.

“No, it’s me, I’m your date.Name is James Buchanan Barnes, it’s lovely to meet you” He offered his hand and you raised an eyebrow at him. He let out a breath and called the waiter over and ordered a bottle of wine.

“Alright I’ll explain what’s going on.” He took your hand, although you were skeptical of why he was here, you couldn’t help but melt at the sight of Bucky Barnes actually attempting to wine and dine you. Something you had wished for for a long time.

“I’ve been head over heels in love with you for sometime doll” He confessed with a small chuckle. “I kept seeing you broken hearted that all these dates were going terribly but I just kept thanking my lucky stars because I wanted to be the one to sweep you off your feet. But I didn’t feel like I was good enough..”

“Bucky, I would have gone on a date with you at anytime, at any place..” You smiled at him softly.

“I know, but I needed it to be perfect. So I made a list of things and Wanda was helping me. I cut my hair and took care of my appearance a bit more, I hadn’t kissed a girl in a very long time so Wanda was helping me, I’m sorry you walked in on that. But I was doing this all for you, I swear..”

“You did all this for me?” You asked and Bucky nodded. “You didn’t need to change a damn thing Bucky, I was in love with you right from the start. Though please don’t kiss Wanda anymore, I don’t think I can stomach that.”

“I know” He laughed out loud, rubbing his head “I was wonderin, if tonight goes well, if you would consider may be going on another date?”

“Hmm” You tapped a finger against your lip with a smile “I’ll do you one better, if tonight goes well, how about you make me your permanent practice partner?”

“That sounds like music to my ears” 


The Joker x Reader - “See No Evil”

The Joker stole 10 glass vials containing an experimental new substance from The Wayne Industry Laboratories. J was moving the ampules into a new case when one was accidentally dropped and now he can’t see. The doctor said it’s a temporary side effect and it shouldn’t last more than a couple of weeks. You are so taking advantage of the situation even if you’ll pay for it later.

You steal a lot of kisses.

The Joker gets out of the shower with his eyes closed, leaning over to reach the towel.

“Muah,” you peck his lips and back out before he snatches you.

“Stop it, Kitten! It’s really annoying when I can’t see and you just…”

“Muah,” you kiss him again, not intimidated by his complaints.

“Are you serious?! Cut it out!” J steps out dripping wet and you yank the towel from his hand. “Give it back, Y/N! I’m getting mad and I…”

“Muah!” you make him shut up, kissing those soft lips again.

“This is outrageous! I’m the Joker and you just can’t…”

“Muah!”

“Dammit, woman, this is stupid!” he takes a few hesitant steps, careful not to bump into anything. He hears you snickering and he knows you’re close. “Give me back my towel or I’ll shoot you, I swear!” J protests, irked.

“Good luck with that; I stashed everything away, you’ll never find your weapons. Hehehehe!” you giggle when he almost touches you but… you elude him.

“Come here, Kitten. NOW! I mean it! If you don’t…”

“Muah!” you steal another kiss and this time you give up, letting him catch you because you feel sorry for him: for once The King of Gotham is pretty helpless.

You start drying his hair with the towel, while he purrs, irritated at your behavior and enjoying being spoiled in the same time. You’re getting groped and pinched as revenge for the repeated offenses against The Clown Prince of Crime. Can’t whine about it since you are the first to admit you deserve it.

“There, done,” you conclude, guiding him towards the bedroom so he can put some clothes on. “What do you wanna wear today?” you ask, leaving him by the bed so you can grab the clothes from the closet.

“My Armani silver suit,” J replies, messing around with his green hair. “You’d better not trick me, I’ll know!” he threatens and you don’t care.

“Sure, whatever you say,” you snort and hear him huff.

“I would! So that better be what I asked for,” he points his finger towards you but he has the wrong direction…Poor Mister J.

“To your left baby,” you give him a hint and now he points in the right direction. The Joker opens his eyes, trying to focus his gaze on something but there is only darkness so he gives up and closes his eyes again.

“Pumpkin, hurry up,” he growls, impatient. A few days passed and he’s till blind as a bat. Yes, this is a pun but can’t share with him; probably would not appreciate it too much for the moment being.

You actually pick the dark purple Armani suit to give to him because you like it better than the silver one. Same fabric and cut, he won’t know it’s a different color.

“J, can you please open your eyes?” you plead.

“I can’t see so there’s no point,” he grouchily mumbles.

“But I like your blue eyes and I wanna see them. Comeeee onnnn, make me happy.”

The Joker mutters something you can’t understand and does as requested.

“There you are!” you cheerfully smile and go towards the balcony so you can get the blanket from the sofa.

“I’ll have you know, Doll…” J clearly has a speech in mind he wants to clear out. Yet…

“Baby, I’m over here, you’re looking in the wrong direction.”

“Huh?” he puffs, antagonized with the interruption.

“To your right…More…More…There, now you’re facing me.”

You don’t know how come he has no sense of orientation. Can’t he hear your voice?!

“I’ll have you know, Doll…What the hell was I talking about?” he stops and debates.

“I have no idea, but I’m taking you to out spot on the hill so we can enjoy the nice weather.”

“I’m not going, I have stuff to do and…”

“Muah!” you kiss him again to shut him up.
“Dammit, cut it out!” and he doesn’t fight it too much as you haul him away. “I remembered what I wanted to tell you: quit bugging me with dumb things and don’t take advantage of my temporary lack of vision!”
“Of course, baby,” you are fast to agree.

I’m the Joker and…”

“Muah, yes, I know,” you smirk, tired on how stubborn and feisty he is.

“Stop kissing me every 5 seconds for God’s sake!” your boyfriend snaps, tugging on your arm.

“A-ha,” you reply and sound unconvincing.

********************

You brought food and grape soda to the little picnic and now J’s sitting on the blanket, fidgeting with his jacket. He takes it off and continues to fuss:

“When are we going back? We have to go on that heist tonight.”

“You’re not going anywhere, are you kidding me? You’re blind,” you move around so you can put the food together.

“I don’t care, I have to go. You’re coming so you can be my eyes.”

“I’m over here,” you cup his face and turn it towards you since apparently he’s addressing the tree you’re both under. “We have to postpone, it’s too dangerous. We’ll have to wait until your eyesight is back, alright?”

“This sucks!” he determines with such pathos it makes you shrivel. You know he’s frustrated; definitely not used to being like this. “It’s so dull, why am I even here?” The Joker sulks, rubbing his eyes. “I can’t even see. How’s the view?” he lets himself go on his back, staring at the sky he can’t discern.

“The view is…breathtaking,” you announce, hovering over him, not even paying attention to the landscape. He’s so handsome in that suit and green shirt.

“Well, I can’t tell so it sucks for me,” he grumbles some more, having no idea you gaze at him.

“I very much enjoy the scenery,” you reply, amused J has no clue you’re talking about him.

“Well, good for you, Princess and I must…”
“Muah!” you lean over to kiss him since he’s sooo grumpy. But this time he kisses you back without commenting on it. “Isn’t this romantic baby?” you moan in his ear, glad you get to spend time together.

“I wouldn’t know, Doll, I can’t see crap,” J pouts.

“I’ll let you know I look very pretty today. I have a rose in my hair,” you take his hand and let him feel it, aiming to cheer him up. “Say something romantic J ,” you suddenly urge your boyfriend.

“Like what?”

“Say you love me,” you bite on your lip, waiting.

“Is it obvious I’m rolling my eyes? Can’t really tell since I’m blind.”

You kick his knee with yours.

“Yeah, it’s obvious! Say it!” you repeat, pulling on his sleeve.

“Uhhhh…I love you.”

“Woowwww, can you put more soul into it?! You sound more enthusiastic when you order your coffee,” you affirm with a displeased grimace.

“I really love coffee, that’s why. You…Mehh,” the Joker admits, being a complete jerk since he’s a bad mood.

“Good, because I don’t love you either,” you push his hand away from your rose and start reading on your book. “I should leave you here and call the cops. Or just signal Batsy,” you bite on your cheek, flustered.

“Pffttt!” he scoffs, confident you won’t.

“Wanna eat now?” you bitterly ask, bugged by his attitude.

“No. What are you munching on?” he wants to know since he hears the repeating crunching noises.

“Pretzels, you want one?” you offer him the choice. You return to your reading and after a few seconds you realize you still hold the pretzel right in front of his face.

Duh, he can’t see.

“Here,” you feed him and he eats it, but still objects.

“You don’t have to feed me, I’m perfectly capable to…”

“Here’s another one,” you shove it in his mouth so he’ll zip it.

I’m the Joker and…”

Even if you’re mad at him, you steal another kiss, hoping he will shut it down.

“Muah,” and before he can retaliate you resume: “Want me to order you business cards that say I’m the Joker?”

“Stop being sassy, woman, and give me another pretzel!” he grumbles in a low voice, scooting over towards you.

*********************

“Hey, baby, if you can find me you get a bonus tonight!” you playfully giggle, trying to light up the atmosphere. J’s been moping around and didn’t move from the couch since you came back from the picnic.

“What’s the bonus?” he grins, instantly interested.

“To your right J. More…more. That’s it, now you’re looking my way.”

Why is he so hopeless when it comes to this?!

“Oh, you will love it! Find me first and you’ll have the time of your life.”

“I’m not in the mood for games Y/N. Just com’ere.”

“Nope, you’ll have to find me mister Jaayyyy,” you whine in a high pitch tone.

“Kaayyyy, you’ll see what happens to you. I’m the Joker and…”

“I already ordered the business cards for you, I am sure you can use them,” you snicker, teasing him. You know he’ll take revenge but at least he’s out of that accursed apathy.

“Did you really?!” and he gets up, taking  a few steps ahead and stumbles on the coffee table before you can warn him. “Goddammit!” J furiously kicks the table.

“Are you OK?”

“No, I think I twisted my ankle,” he reaches down and you rush to help.

“Jesus, baby, I’m so sor…”
“Got’cha!!” he fastly snatches you, trapping you in his arms.

“Hey, no cheating!” you try to unsuccessfully escape.

“Says who?” J purrs, fighting to unbutton your shirt with one hand and still holding you captive with the other.

“J…J…J !” you stop his fingers and want to laugh.

“S-stupid buttons!” he angrily stutters, trying harder, violently pulling on your shirt with all his strength. You try to keep his hand in place.

“J…J…stop! These buttons are just sewed to the fabric for decoration, they won’t unbutton.”

“Shit, not seeing anything sucks!” The King of Gotham has an outburst of frustration and it makes you miserable. You wish you could help him but there is nothing you can do.

You look into his blue eyes that just can’t focus on yours and whisper:
“Why can’t you see yet?”

“I don’t know Pumpkin, it irritates me,” and you know The Joker means it.

It’s a blessing he can’t notice how worried you are because it shows all over your face; it would make things worse.

“I’m sure your vision will return shortly…yes?” you encourage him while he continues to struggle with your bra now.

“J…J…J! This bra has a front clasp.”

J stomps his foot, not knowing if it’s funny or the opposite.

“This is stupid!” he grumbles, totally fed up with his current situation. I’m the Joker and…”

“Please hold it together until we get the business cards, ok, baby?” you elbow him, hoping his attitude will change.”  He frowns, then smirks and lifts you up in his arms.

“Actually that’s not a bad idea. Tell me where, Doll.”
“Straight, left… more to your left. Stop! Right…straight…couch! You made it back to your bonus spot! Can you find what you need without seeing?”

You get dropped on the couch while J snarls, licking his lips.
“I know exactly where everything is, I don’t need my eyes for that. I made it until now, hm?”

You smile, refusing to answer the question, pulling him on top of you:

“You definitely deserve the bonus, you got mad skills, I’m telling you.”

“Sure do,” he growls, starting to get irked by your comment so he bites your lip as revenge.

“Auch! Heeey, behave!” you sulk, biting him back.

“Told you I know where everything is,” he triumphantly brags as you take off his Batsy t-shirt.

******************

Two more weeks pass and your boyfriend is still blind. You are starting to get really worried, especially since his mood is worsening. You actually feel sorry for both of you. You stay awake most of the nights, going on the balcony to reflect on what should happen next: should you kidnap more doctors and bring them over to one of the hideouts so they can examine J? Should you take over a clinic and transport him to the location for another eye exam?

You really don’t know how to go about it because no matter what you suggest, The Joker replies with: ”No need to; anytime now.” Why?…Who understands his logic? He’s infuriated about it himself but refuses to act.

*Another morning in Paradise

“What do you want to wear today, baby?” you happily ask, scraping the leftovers of your patience in order to maintain a positive atmosphere.

“One of my white shirts and black pants,” The Joker coldly responds.

You decide you’ll give him a purple shirt since he didn’t wear the color in about 2 days and you miss seeing it on him. You take out the hanger.

“I said white, Pumpkin, are you deaf?”

You want to put it back when it hits. You slowly turn around, dropping the shirt.

“You…you can see??!!”

J has that diabolical twinkle in his eyes and sucks on his cheeks, satisfied with himself.

“Yeah, isn’t it obvious?”

Like, you bore him so much with your inquiry.

“Since…since when?!” you keep on repeating words because you are more than baffled.

“Since yesterday morning, jeez, calm down. Why are you so worked up? I started seeing some shapes and it just got better and better.”

You’re speechless.

“And…and you didn’t bother to tell me?!” you whimper, vexed at the revelation.

“It was fun to see you struggle,” and his crazy laugh fills the room.

“Fun?!” you fight to keep the tears in, full of indignation. “Fun?! Do you know I didn’t sleep in 2 weeks, worried sick, trying to find a solution for your problem?!”

“Well, that’s your fault, Princess, not mine.”

You mouth opens and no sounds come out.

“Wha’?” J stretches, indifferent to your rant, starting to walk towards you. “Aren’t you glad I can see? Com’ere!”

“You…you…are the worst boyfriend ever,” you justly conclude, sniffling, sneaking by the wall towards the elevator.

“Thanks, I’m trying.”

“It’s not funny!” you cross your arms on your chest, outraged at the whole situation.

“Good, because I’m serious.”

“You…you’re horrible!”

You really want to be excited and go kiss him or something but your mind says no.

“Pumpkin, where are you going?” The Joker raises his voice.

“I don’t know!” you flare your hands around, upset as you can be, actually telling the truth. You want to be out of there.

“Y/N!!!” J angrily shouts when you press the button for the elevator. You refuse to give him the satisfaction of paying attention to his tantrum. You hear him slam drawers.

“Baby Doll!!!!” he screams even louder and you finally look his way.

J holds one of the vials with the experimental substance he kept hidden after selling the rest.

“Nobody leaves me!!! I tell you when you can leave, got it?!”

You get startled.

“What is that?!”
“You know what it is!!! You’re not leaving me!!!” he pants, enraged you’re not obeying and backs out on the balcony, locking the glass sliding door on his side.

“Hey, what are you doing?” You stump towards the closed door, having a bad feeling.

“You can’t leave!!!” he punches the glass, placing the ampule under his shoe.

“Wha…What are you doing?! Don’t!!! Hey, I’m not leaving, OK?”

“You’re lying, I can always tell when you lie,” The Joker taps on the glass, staring at you.

“I’m not lying, stop it! Open up!” you beg, agitated, trying to kick the door open.

“No,” he replies, surprisingly calm all of the sudden. He steps on the vial, breaking it to pieces and you watch horrified as the thin vapors crawl up his body.

“Close your eyes!!!“ you shout, imploring and he shakes his head in negation. “This is childish, stop it! Close your eyes!!!”

“NO.”

“Why are you doing this? You won’t see for weeks again!” you start bawling, still pounding on the glass.

“Keeping up with my worst boyfriend ever reputation,” he growls with his eyes opened despite your efforts to change his mind. “You’ll have to be my eyes again, you can’t leave.”

“For God’s sake, I was just going for a drive so I could cool down!!!” you keep on crying and he feels his eyes starting to burn. You feel so sorry for yourself having to deal with him blind again.

“Don’t care, you can’t leave me,” he smiles and slowly blinks. Your image is fading bit by bit and after a few more seconds he’s in complete blackness…again. Courtesy of his awesome boyfriend material expertise.

******************

You got the business cards you ordered for him: one side is green, the other one purple. A laughing mouth on the front, I’m the Joker in bold letters inscribed right under. You have to describe the design to him since he can’t see.

“I can’t believe you actually ordered them,” J tilts his head, apparently displeased, holding a few in his hand.

“You can use them; you always like to say you’re The Joker so they will come in handy.”

“You’re so annoying, Y/N.”

“Muah,” you steal a kiss, stretching your optimism on new levels you didn’t think you can reach.

“Cut it out, Kitten, don’t take advantage of the situation!”

“You did it to yourself, baby, sooo…I don’t know what to tell you,” you begin loading guns because you’re bored to the max since you can’t do anything fun for a while. AGAIN. Courtesy of J’s stubbornness.

“You can’t talk to me like this, I’m the Joker and…”

“Told you those business cards will come in handy!” you are fast to interrupt.

“I swear I’m gonna kill you, Doll!” he points out in the wrong direction, what else. He truly is hopeless.

You sigh:

“To your right…More…More…There, now you are pointing my way.”

“I want a bonus,” he grumbles, still pointing.

“A bonus?! For what?!”

“For being the worst boyfriend ever. I think I’ve earned it.”

Wow, who can understand his logic?!

But you abandon your current project and go sit in his lap on the armchair, glaring in his blue eyes that can’t focus on yours. AGAIN. For a few weeks. Courtesy of J’s great ability to take amazingly selfish decisions.
“I should really call the cops or signal Batsy,” you whisper, brushing his green hair with your fingers. “You’re a terrible boyfriend.”

“I am, here’s my business card,” he takes one out of his pocket, placing it in your cleavage after a bit of a struggle.

You silently laugh and kiss his forehead, debating on that bonus. And you decide he should have it.

Courtesy of your awesome girlfriend material skills.

 Also read- MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

pillow talk, #3: lower standars

Being in a relationship it’s not only constant and good sex, it’s meaning in the sack and late night conversations of the weird kind. Hyde blinked a couple of times after realizing, with an arched eyebrow, this new level he had reached with his chick today.

“Wait, wait, wait… your feets are cold… Jackie!”

Her giggle filled the room, Hyde rolled his eyes and cuddle her to his chest as she moved her feet from between his legs. They were damn cold, alright.

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feelmyroarrrr  asked:

Oooh Bucky and 2 please

This was fun! Thanks for the ask ;) @feelmyroarrrr


It was just a simple assess and report mission. You and Bucky Barnes sat outside a cafe in the city, drinks in front of you (non-alcoholic), your coms online with Steve and Nat watching from the outskirts in case any trouble erupted. 

“You alright, doll?”

Crap. Bucky had caught you googling at him from across the small table.

You gave him a smile. “Sure. Just keeping an eye out, that’s all,” you replied.

A bright grin grew across his face. “An eye out on what, exactly?” Man, he was loving this. 

With an eye roll, you chose to ignore his comment and took a much needed prolonged swig of your drink. Heat rose to your cheeks as you felt his eyes on you now, his tongue flicking out across his bottom lip as you put the glass back on the table. 

You decided to test the waters. “What are you keeping an eye out on?” you pressed, your voice a little quieter with the ever growing tension between the pair of you. 

“Would you two please just go make out in a corner already and come back when you’re ready to concentrate?” Nat’s voice spoke through your earpieces. “Me and Rogers can keep up surveillance while you’re gone,” you could practically hear the smug grin as she spoke. 

Embarrassment filled you at your best friends words and right in that moment, you just wanted the ground to open and swallow you whole. Or some bad guy to interrupt. Either way, anything would’ve been better than this torment. 

“Ignore her, she doesn’t know what she’s going on about,” you managed to speak, giving Bucky an awkward smile in reassurance. 

He raised an eyebrow. “You sure?”

You frowned, confused.

“Well, I’m just saying, I for one would love to play out her plan with you, doll,” he reiterated, a drop dead gorgeous smile across his face. 

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Bucky wanted you. The super soldier you’d be swooning over since you’d met him actually wanted you. 

“But-”

“-But what?” you felt your heart about to sink from whatever rejection he was bound to give you. 

“But, I’d want to do more than just make out with you in some random street. I want to take you out for dinner, if you’ll have me, that is?” 

“Bucky Barnes, I’d have you forever,” you smiled. “But dinner first sounds great.”

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It’s interesting how a lot of Damon stans, love to cry about that fact that ‘Damon never wanted to be a vampire’ even though there is ample evidence to support the fact that he did indeed, want to be one (for Katherine), willingly drank blood (for Katherine) and only had this burning desire to curl up and die when he found out that Katherine was no longer alive (to his knowledge) to facilitate his obsession with her.

Additionally, Damon was more than capable of taking his own life at any point after the Katherine debacle. Tvd likes to act like Stefan and Damon were cursed to be vampires

no loopholes and that Damon was totally stuck and it was all Stefan’s fault wahh… 

Furthermore, Damon doesn’t spend his entire existence moping, while he is still pathetically pining for Katherine, he also indulges in killing sprees, alcohol and whatever else take his fancy in between making good on his promise to make Stefan’s life a living hell. Which literally made no sense, because it is obvious that Damon freaking loves being a vampire so why the ire at Stefan, even if the whole Katherine thing was his fault, which it wasn’t.

Even as human, Damon was an extremely self-indulgent person (portrayed as the self-sacrificing Stefan’s complete opposite) shown by him abandoning the army and going after Katherine even though it was clear that she was also being courted by Stefan + disregarding the strict social norms of the time when he was alive by fraternizing with a vampire.

As a vampire himself it’s obvious the pleasure Damon takes from drinking blood straight from the vein (and taunting Stefan about it) and raping and sexually assaulting women (Caroline, Andie, the sorority girls) plus the boozing in between.

What I find interesting is that Stefan and Damon’s individual outlook’s on being vampires are reflected in their treatment of Elena once she turned.

Damon immediately projected his love of vampirism onto Elena, encouraging her to ‘indulge’ in the ‘finer things’ like clueless millennials at raves (and thus drinking from the vein, instead of bags); eventual sire bond induced sex and compelling her to turn off her humanity.

Not because he thinks any of this ‘embracing’ will benefit her but because that’s who he wants her to be. Because that sort of morally wayward Elena is the sort of girl that a person like him has a shot with contrary to who she actually is (or was, at least back when the show made sense, now Elena’s whole characterization is like, whatever…)

Whereas Stefan shows immediate regret and compassion for Elena when she turns. The whole broken doll thing is crap-OLA. Elena broke down in tears and told Stefan straight up that she didn’t want to be a vampire and never did. She describes all the things she lost with immortality. The idea of dying naturally was more appealing to her than living forever. Even after Stefan shows her the pretty sunset and the power of her vampire abilities in a safe non-Dracula kind of way; the narrative shows that Elena would still prefer to be human.

And Stefan immediately sympathises with this, because of his own inward desire to be human. Because of the humanity that was literally stolen by Katherine, without his knowledge (unlike Damon)and because of the ripper gene that manifested because of it.

He totally gets it, so while simultaneously supporting her through her transition, Stefan also gets that Elena’s transition is not only a rebirth but a grieving process that she has to go through and I think the way they have him handle it and in turn, SE as a couple, is very well done and beautiful.

DE lacks that sort of development and understanding. DE could never have that sort of conversation with one another. i.e: just pure and raw, saying things that are uncomfortable but need to be said for the sake of honesty and openness.

I’ve yet to see a DE convo that wasn’t

A) A fight

B) A fight that led to sex

C) A bunch of passionate screaming (that 9/10 times led to sex)

D) Meaningless declarations of love that weren’t back up by any sort of evidence

E) or Tired conversations about Damon’s moral bankrupcy

And that’s the diffrence between the two ships in a nutshell. Communication

or a lack thereof.

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If it were just a fancy cat lady doing her makeup I’d go “eh that’s cool I guess, but $600 for an unarticulated doll, even though it is a CAT PERSON, just doesn’t jive with me.”

But the little pet mouse on a leash like some alternate universe teacup dog, that tips this doll into “holy crap I wish I had an extra  $600 lying around” territory

So far this night has consisted of me trying to make a masterpiece happen in ten hours much to my failure and frustration. All the while looping depeche mode in the background to quench the fact that my brain is empty of ideas/creativity/problem solving.

Simply A Gentleman

“Shit, are you bleeding?”

Simply A Gentleman

James was many things. Handsome, graceful, quite, an introvert, kept to himself, didn’t talk unless he had to, a simple gentleman. So when he spotted a red stain beside him over the couch once his fellow Tech avenger had gone up to the bathroom complaining her stomach was hurting, he was concerned. Because he had no fucking clue what the hell was happening.

“Shit, are you bleeding?” He hollered, the girl hadn’t even stepped foot out the living compound when his voice, ever so elegantly made its way to her ear.  

She stood frozen, afraid if what he said was true, and if so she had just stained Tony’s million dollar couche cushion.

“Crap, Doll your on your period.” Bucky concluded, pointing to the stain beside him. He had finally connected the dots. Realization washing over him, he stood up and instantly flipped the cushion. “Tony’s gonna kill you.” He stated, moving over to her fragile form. “Let’s take you upstairs.” Bucky murmured softly, as he pushed her in front of him and kept behind her to block the scarlet stain.

She still didn’t say anything. What could she say? Wearing white cotton shorts and a tank top side had its perks for being comfortable in, but what she wasn’t expecting was Mother Nature knocking her eggs early tonight.

“I’m sorry,” She finally uttered, her hands fumbled with the hem of her tank, her hair in a messy bun but streaks slithered out to frame her cheekbones.

“It’s fine,” Bucky nodded. It was the least he could do to her, she had helped him in so many ways he couldn’t even count. Taking her to his bathroom was not even considered helping the poor girl. “Take a shower, I’ll get you something to wear.” He instructed once they entered Bucky’s room. He locked it, rummaging around his closet for his slim fits. While the girl went in his bathroom, the sound of running water filled the void in his room.

After a few minutes, he knocked on the bathroom door. His old shorts that don’t even fit him with it’s matching navy Henley shirt in his giving hands. “Sweetheart, wear these…” His voice was smooth, like he was afraid of what she would think of his proposal. The team had made fun of them being too close, albeit the platinum haired man was beyond happy Bucky was conversing with a female.

Non the less, she opened the door with a towel wrapped around her body, “Bucky, I need a pad… and… never mind I’ll get it myself.” She trailed uncertain after receiving a worried look from the brunet. He still didn’t understand all that female products.

“No,” Bucky abruptly answered, “Just show me a picture of what it looks, you go sit on the toilet.” He suggested, trying to push her back in the confined bathroom.

“It’s fine,” She answered. Taking his cloths from his hands, “I’m going to change in my room.” She stood on her tippy toes, then reached for his stubbly cheek. “Good night Bucky.”

“Wait, why are you taking my cloths then?”

Originally posted by squishedbyseb

BJD Conversation Key

as written by a hobby veteran who has been collecting these expensive dolls since 2004.

“This sculpt has a lot of potential” = This doll has a weird face and you need to hide it as much as possible with some sculpting or a heavy faceup.

“Doll X is just about the best at posing!” = This doll was given superfluous joints and just flops around whenever I try to do anything with it, but I gotta justify to myself the extra $$$ it cost. BJD equivalent of “It’s not a bug; it’s a feature!”

“I’m happy with the resin match on this hybrid.” = There’s a noticeable difference in colour, but I just dropped a few hundred dollars on these parts and I can’t afford to buy another right now. I’ll drink until it matches better.

“Fantasy faceup.” = Face tats that would make a hardened criminal jealous and airbrushed artwork worthy of belonging on the side of a windowless van from the 80′s ……and all will be completely hidden as soon as you put a wig on the doll.

“Studio X is pretty great, the dolls just need a bit of work.” = The studio did a half-assed job with the joint engineering, so you need to break out the dremel and fix it yourself.

“A high quality OOAK dress with lots of details.” = More ruffles and lace means more design points, right? I’m gonna load this dress with so much poofy crap my doll will look like I just stirred her around in the reject-bin at the trim factory!