- headcanons that nobody asked for but everyone wants 11/10
He strikes me as the type of person to want to have a pretty steady bond with someone before dating them.
You two would likely start out as good if not flirty friends, but after some time he’d give in to his feelings and take you on a date.
It’d be something simple but cute, either Starbucks or a walk in the park and then going to a food-truck. Idk anything he thinks up on the spot that means you’d get to know each other better so probs not a movie.
After dating a while:
Somehow he’d know everything about you, since he’s such a trustworthy person you’d end up telling him new random little things about you most every day.
Speaking of trustworthy, you’d have only one Relationship Groundrule: no getting jealous unless there was something to be jealous about.
Meaning, he wouldn’t care who your friends are, you wouldn’t care who he’s hanging with, neither of you would ever be worried about the other cheating etc.
He’s just such an honest and sincere person I can’t imagine him ever not taking a relationship seriously and fucking behind your back.
For your first anniversary he’d take you somewhere special, maybe even splash out on a weekend away or something romantic.
He’d constantly feel guilty when he has to leave for tour or concerts, even if he would only be gone a couple days.
Even after you reassure him you don’t mind and that you’d soon see each other again, he’d pout and cuddle into you. He misses you and wants to be with you all the time.
This is a good time to mention; he is quite clingy.
Minseok would cherish and crave being with you. He’s not intense to be with like the beagle line thankfully, he’s gentle and relaxing to have around.
Doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his moments.
Every now and then he has a “mad 5 minutes” and he laughs and teases and pokes you, making a total bellend of himself tbh whilst you try and fail to keep a straight face.
“May I?” Lady Lunafreya asked. She held out her hand.
“Are you… offering to heal me?” Prompto asked, hesitant.
Everyone was watching him. He shifted nervously and brushed a lock of hair out
of his face. “I’m really grateful but, uh. No thanks? I’m not hurt. But—but I
appreciate the offer!” The last thing he wanted was for the Oracle—for Noctis’
friend, the person who had pushed him to meet Noct in the first place—to think
But Lunafreya didn’t seem to hear. Her arm didn’t waver. “Please.”
Everyone was still watching. Noctis, with his head cocked to
the side. Ignis, quietly observing. Gladio, arms crossed, making sure nobody got
too close to the Oracle or the King. Prompto didn’t want to be the odd one out.
Lunafreya’s hand looked warm and inviting. So he took it.
Within seconds, Prompto was doubled over, something acidic
and awful falling from his lips.
The sensation of throwing up had always been unpleasant.
This was awful.
Despite all that, Lunafreya clutched his hand. Her grip was
surprisingly tight, even as Prompto bent over, his free hand on his knee in a
last ditch effort to stay upright.
He heaved and heaved and heaved.
All he saw was black.
Through her dense and detailed packed line drawings to her more focused ink brush pieces, Rhode Island based artist Heather Benjamin’s work is visceral, cathartic, and autobiographical. It offers a completely unapologetic and unflinching look into an artists’ own struggles with life, body image, self confidence, and sexuality. We find her and her art to be inspirational, honest and badass.
We recently ran into Heather at her booth at the LA Art Book Fair and caught up with her a few months later to ask about her art, her experiences at RISD, her influences, and her thoughts about her work and her life.
It’s been 3 months since you broke up with Bucky, it’s been 3 months since he moved out of your shared apartment and it’ been 3 months since you haven’t slept or eaten well. You don’t know how this happened, one day you two were happy, making plans for the future and the next one you were screaming for him to get out of your life.
You miss him every day, you miss talking to him about your day to day life, you miss cuddling to him every night and having that feeling that you are safe. More importantly, you miss knowing that he is happy and safe and if you could turn back time, you would, and you wish you never had that stupid fight.
That is the problem with loving people; you are always going to end up being hurt and you are always going to hurt them as much as you don’t want that, it is unavoidable. You take a deep breath looking at the phone like you do every night, you just need to gather the courage to talk to him, say that you are sorry and that you miss him.
some language, mentions of sex, but mostly just a whole bunch of dad!Chris
P.S. ~ Maybe some typos.
Credit to the owner. Gif is NOT mine.
It was early
Sunday morning, when you felt the sun shine on your face, breaking through the
curtains of you and Chris’s shared room. As your eyes flutter open you feel a
small dip in the bed and the sheets move down a little. Looking down you see
your little girl Y/D/N climbing up to the top to you and your sleeping husband.
one, what are you doing up so early?” You whisper to your giggling little girl.
don’t want to wake daddy up.” You say softly to her, while squishing her little
looking behind, you, to check if your husband was still asleep, only to get
your answer in a soft snore. You get out the bed, pick your little girl up, and
head downstairs to the kitchen to make breakfast.
Once in the
kitchen, you place Y/D/N in her high chair and kiss her on the head before
going to the refrigerator. After rummage through the fridge, you decided on
making waffles, bacon, and eggs.
you daughter you ask her, “Waffles, bacon, and eggs sound good to you.”
giggle in response you get to work making breakfast. You knew that about the
time you were finish cooking Chris and Dodger would be making their way
downstairs. And as soon as you placed the bacon on the plates, you hear
footsteps coming towards the kitchen.
you could probably sleep through an earthquake but as soon as you smell food,
your downstairs quicker than Quicksilver.” You say looking up at your husband,
who had made his way towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist.
says as kisses your lips briefly, before giving your ass a quick squeeze.
keep your hands to yourself.” You say laughing and pushing past him.
“You weren’t saying
that the other night.” He whispers in your ear as he walks past you to sit at
you just give him a look before smirking yourself, before placing cut up pieces
of waffle on your daughter’s plate, which was accompanied by eggs. Then,
sitting down yourself to eat.
time spent eating and talking during breakfast, you head upstairs to take a
shower, while Chris took care of getting Y/D/N ready. When you got out from the
shower you put on your underwear and clothes, then heading to your makeup room.
Once you were finally finished with your hair and makeup, you headed to your daughter’s
When you got
to the door, you saw your little girl wrapped up in her robe and wearing a
diaper, laying on Dodger’s stomach, inside her tepee play area watching a cartoon
on her tablet. Seeing that Chris was nowhere in the room, you figured Chris had
told Dodger to watch Y/D/N, until he got back.
So, with the
reassurance she was ok, you went back to your shared room with Chris, to find
your husband in nothing but a towel. Staring as you admired the beautiful man
that was Chris Evan but also you husband.
something you see, darling.” He says smirking and coming towards you.
yourself Evans.” You say, walking passed him to sit on the bed.
“Be like that
then, but the next time you get horny, you remember this day, sweetheart.” He says,
walking off into the closet.
sweetie, you have not once in our whole entire relationship, passed up sex with
me. Not once.” You say, laughing.
You can hear
him laughing in disbelief.
next time you want sex, don’t come to me.” He says, walking out in a white
t-shirt, and black jeans.
You had to
admit he was one fine man and you had to be the luckiest girl in the world.
checking me out again.” He says, walking over to you, only to stop in front of
you, to fold his arms. Flexing his thick muscles.
“And, if I was
checking you out, who’s going to stop me.” You say, standing up and putting your
arms around his neck.
to believe you’re obsessed with me.” He says pulling you closer, and resting
his hands on your ass.
man, who literally praises my ass.” You say smiling, and kissing him with so
It was a
deep, passionate and longing kiss. You two had finally broke away at the pitter
patter of feet and paws started coming your way.
You both look
over to see your little girl entering the room, with Dodger right behind her. Only
for her to exit the room quickly; Dodger not following her this time but looking
at you and Chris, as if he was saying, “well
aren’t you going to go after her.”
So, you, Chris
and Dodger headed towards Y/D/N’s room, only to find it empty, except for a
shadow inside the tepee.
daddy’s little princess gone?” Chris says, earning a responsive giggle from
inside the tepee.
“I don’t know
Chris, she seems to just have vanished.” You say playing along, earning another
little one, you can’t hide forever.” Chris says, before grabbing Y/D/N out
of the tepee, and raising her up in the air.
starts raising her up and down, giving her raspberries on her cheek, every time
he brought her down.
The sight was
something to die for. Your husband, playing with your daughter, having the
biggest smile on his face. Your daughter sending giggles throughout the room,
and Dodger playfully barking beneath them.
until the little guy is born.” Chris says carrying your daughter over to you, and
kissing the top of your head.
“Y/D/N, tell daddy
that he doesn’t know that he OR she is definitely a boy.” You say, taking her
from him and walking to her closet to pick an outfit out.
you tell Y/N, that we have a feeling that HE is a boy.” Chris says, rubbing the
top of Dodgers head.
you got a bark from Dodger. Laughing you started to get Y/D/N dressed, and in
that time as you looked at her and back at Chris and Dodger. You couldn’t have
asked for a more perfect scene than the one in front of you.
8.3.17 hello everyone! I’m feeling really weird today like I’m not really connecting to my surroundings as much as I usually do? I had a little bit of a wobble with eating early this week and found myself watching some videos that were not helping at all and doing my thing where on the outside and when I sit down I’m really really sad, but when someone talks to me I’m unusually cheerful just so noone notices. But I laugh while I say “I’m in a really bad mindset! How funny right!?” So I went and did some work at the student union.
I’m going back to London next weekend to see my family and friends for a couple days because I don’t have any assignments for a little while. How I miss the skyscrapers! xxx emily
can u write one from josh's pov where he is madly in love with y/n but she's already got a boyfriend and he can't help but feel heartbroken knowing that josh is just always going to be y/n's best friend
authors note: all i could think when reading this prompt was Jim and Pam, so that’s kind of what I loosely based this off from. This is a longerish fic, hopefully what you were looking for. Enjoy!
JOSH DUN IMAGINE
“Square up, Y/L/N, you’re going down.”
Josh hovered over your shoulder like a bug that just wouldn’t go away, muttering discouraging words into your ear, trying to distract you from the task at hand. You had to admit he was doing a good job, because all you wanted to do was turn around and smack him, but you had to stay focused. A bag of chips was on the line here.
You took a deep breath and pulled your arm back, nothing but sheer determination in your vision, and you let your paper airplane sail. You watched as it flew through the air, coasting past the copier and fax machine, past the cluster of desks, past Josh’s airplane resting on the floor, until it hit the door to the break room and finally landed.
“Yes!” you shrieked, throwing your hands up in victory. “I beat you by like four feet!”
Josh stares, stunned at how you managed to sail your paper airplane all the way across the office, but nonetheless, hands you over a dollar to get your bag of chips from the vending machines.
“You really should stop betting on things with me, I always win—“ you gloat, as you both make your way into the break room.
Josh leans against the vending machine, watching you select your favorite bag from the top row. “No way, you can’t get rid of me that easily.”
You laugh, shaking your head at Josh’s remark before opening your bag of chips and heading back to your desk.
Josh watches you go, that familiar sinking feeling becoming prevalent in his stomach, just like every other time you walk away. He takes a deep breath, trying to regain his right state of mind. He loved the friendship you two shared, but sometimes he needed a minute to contain all the thoughts running through his head, otherwise his undying love for you might just slip out one of these days.
The hardest part of Josh’s day was at five o’clock, when your boyfriend would meet you at the door and walk out to the parking lot with you. Josh would smile and wave goodbye, pretending like it didn’t burn every fiber of his being watching you lace your fingers with his and smile into his side as you exited the building. Then, he’d slowly gather his things and head to his own car, wishing you were at his side.
You and Josh had been friends ever since you started working in Columbus two years ago. Two entire years, and Josh still swears it was the minute you walked in on your first day, a spot of dried toothpaste on your chin, that he fell completely in love with you.
He spent that entire first week getting to know you, and the next planning out ways he could ask you out. He’d never been more sure that he’d finally met the person he was meant to be with. His soulmate, if you will. Josh had been waiting in his car for your gray SUV to pull in one morning. He planned on exiting at the same time as you, playing it off as a harmless coincidence, and then walking with you up to the third floor. It was a cold December morning when he saw Lucas for the first time. Then of course he didn’t know his name. He knew the man as someone driving you to work, with broad shoulders and a trimmed beard. He leaned over the center console and planted a kiss right on your lips before making a U-turn and exiting the parking lot. Josh had let his head drop and made a beeline for the door, trying his best to ignore you calling his name and the gut-wrenching dread he felt.
That was two years ago, and Josh still hadn’t moved on. How could he when you sat only feet away from him? Spreading your infectious laugh and always there to make him smile? No, Josh hadn’t moved on. Instead, he’d just learned to live with it. He swallowed his feelings and instead focused on the friendship that you two shared, no matter how much it killed him inside. It was always about more than friendship, and he knew it from the start. Even though that is what he loved most about you. Falling in love was quick, easy, inevitable. You would talk and laugh and be happy. If life is a series of moments, then it was those innocent instances that defined Josh for the longest time.
But falling also hurt. You were his everything. And you were his best friend. You told each other everything, but he had to keep his biggest secret hidden from you. On that first day, even if she didn’t remember it, he could see a future. Your future together. And for that split second he wanted nothing more than to kiss you, to forget about the rest of the world and focus on you. But there were no messing this up. This was you, and it was really just complicated.
Josh sat in his car in the parking lot the next morning eating his breakfast and occasionally warming up his hands in front of the air vents. Just as he was finishing off his bagel, there was a soft knock on his window. It took him half a second to realize it was you; your coat was zipped up to your chin and your beige scarf covered most of your face. Josh quickly got out of his car and you both exchanged hellos in the still-dark parking lot.
“What are you doing here so early?” he asks, shivering a little in the cold winter air.
“Lucas and I kind of had another spat last night and I wanted to get out before he woke up…" you trail off. Josh’s jaw clenches at the mention of his name. ”What about you?“
“One of my biggest clients is a morning person, if I don’t call him by 8am sharp, his account is as good as closed, so I wanted to get here early and go over his file.”
“So you got here before the sunrise?”
“It’s a big file,” Josh says with a smile.
You chuckle and then looked over to the far end of the parking lot, “Hey, come with me.”
It was one of those commands Josh didn’t have to hear twice. He followed you, his hand in his pockets and his nose buried in his own scarf. You both walked over to the edge of the lot, and you stepped up on the curb, standing on your tip-toes. Josh furrowed his eyebrows.
“Come on, Josh,” you say playfully.
He laughed nervously before following your actions. He faced the direction you were facing and saw that through the fence there was a perfect view of the distance hills on the east side of town. The sky was thick and dark blue and the hills looked outlined with gold. The sun began to peek over the horizon and the buildings of Columbus went from grays to a bright mixture of yellows and oranges.
Josh glanced over at you as you looked at the view, smiling wide, the sun hitting your eyes. Josh could never quite tell, your eyes always looked hazel and sadly dull in the florescent light of the office, but for the first time his saw their true color: a brilliant green with splashes of brown near the center.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” you asked.
“Yeah, really is,” Josh says, still looking straight at you.
“We should go inside,” you said quietly, noticing his insistent stare from your corner view. “I’m freezing.”
Josh nods, eyes lingering on the view a moment longer before he trails behind you inside the building.
It’s habit, more than anything else, that has Josh lingering in the break room when he sees the tired lines in your face three days later. It’s instinct, to ask you if you want to talk. To take a seat at the table before he has a chance to consider the implications of what he’s just offered.
Besides, first and foremost, he’s your friend.
More than anything, he wants you to be happy. And if there’s something he can do to ease the tension in your shoulders, to watch the frustrated crease in your brow fade back into familiar calm, then he will. Of course he will.
Being the one to elicit a smile from you is worth the cost of his own discomfort.
Patiently, he listens to your perspective on the misunderstanding between yourself and Lucas, he tries to detach himself from the situation enough to give you the sort of sincere and thoughtful advice he’d extend to anyone in that position. But he doesn’t want your thanks — your gratitude that much worse because it’s genuine.
Josh had served as the backboard for you since he met you. He was always around to listen. Maybe he was imagining it, but it seemed like you and Lucas had been fighting more and more lately. He hated seeing you upset on a daily basis in the break room and he tried to ignore the sliver of hope he felt inside.
Apparently last night had been bad. Josh can tell the minute he sees your puffy eyes and quivering lip.
“What happened?” he asks, concern evident in his voice.
You shrug, trying to be brave, but the tears fall anyway. “He threw a glass at the wall next to me last night. He was drunk… muttering about how he thought I was cheating on him.”
“Oh my god—“ Josh said, gut dropping as he imagined how scared you must have been in that moment.
“I don’t think he’d ever hurt me or anything. But I was scared.”
“What’d you do?” he asks, taking the seat at the table across from you.
You curled your hands around your mug of coffee, “I left. Went to my moms. I think it’s over. I mean, it has to be, right?”
Josh wants to blurt out a gigantic yes, but instead he empathetically furrows his brows and nods softly, “I definitely don’t like the idea of you being scared.” And without thinking, he reaches his hand across the table and touches yours softly.
Your eyes shoot down to where your hands touch, all of a sudden you feel so nervous. You pull back and drag your coffee mug to your chest.
“I should get back to work.”
Josh has a hard time focusing the rest of the day. It was over. You said that. It was over and maybe, just maybe, Josh had a chance here. He’d be your friend first, of course. Just like it’d always had been. He wouldn’t rush you. But now he had a chance to prove how much you truly meant to him. He was elated. Lighter and more hopeful than he’d felt in months.
It all comes crashing down with the sound of the office door opening and closing. Josh’s fists clench at his side the minute he sees Lucas walk through the doors. He’s ready to get up and ward him off if necessary; the idea of him yelling at you makes his blood boil. But he watches from his desk instead, as Lucas makes his way to you, gently tapping your shoulder and whispering something in your ear.
Your initial reaction is wide eyes, filled with what is that? Fear? It fades quickly, morphs into anger. Then sympathy. Josh watches as you grab your coat from the back of your chair and willingly follow him up to reception. You mutter something to the secretary before continuing out the door without looking back.
“He apologized, and he really was just so sincere. I think he really meant it.”
Josh nods and takes another swig of coffee, which was lukewarm by now. He cringes.
“Sounds it,” he says dully. Not even he can fake enhance the amount of enthusiasm in his voice.
“What’s that?” you ask, offended by his dull tone.
He looks at you and raises an eyebrow. Disappointment and anger and frustration all boiling under the surface of his skin after seeing you and Lucas kissing in the parking lot again this morning, so he decides for the first time in a long time; to be honest.
“No, it’s just I’ve heard all of this before. It gets a bit old is all.”
“It gets a bit old?” you repeat, stunned by his response.
“Yeah you and Lucas. He does something nasty, you break up or contemplate breaking up, then he apologizes with roses or chocolates or what was it this time? Perfume? Same story, different version. Can’t blame me for getting bored with it.”
And then Josh walks straight out of the break room and back to his desk, where there’s a light flashing on his phone. He presses the button and pulls up a chair to listen to the voicemail.
“Hey Josh, it’s Craig from Corporate. Meant to catch you before lunch, but I wanted to talk to you about a job opening here in Detroit. It’d be a promotion for you. More pay, more duties, all that. Give me a call back with the details if you’re interested. Thanks.”
It ended in the parking lot, the blooming seed of happiness that lived deep in his chest was fading, right next to his heart. It was his best friend, his sole support, the girl of his life who made everything just a little bit better. It was you standing there, your jaw dropping with surprise and Josh with his entire heart and soul on the line.
It was Josh that changed the game. This game of yours, the little dance of just barely something more than friends. He had nothing left to lose, because he couldn’t do it anymore. So he gave himself an ultimatum. Tell her you love her. Tell her and if she turns you down, you can accept the job. Tell her you love her. Tell her and if she loves you back, you can live happily ever after.
The words hang thickly in the air. “I love you, Y/N. I’ve loved you since the day I met you.”
You stand still in your spot, eyes watering and eyebrows furrowed with confusion and surprise. And for a quick second, Josh thinks you might say it back. But then you drop your clenched fist to your side and you let out a loud, inconvenient sigh and it’s amazing how quick his gut picks up on the rejection. It drops as you start muttering about how “you can’t” and “you have a boyfriend.”
But that’s all. Because Josh clearly doesn’t want to listen. His hands wrap around you and Lucas has never held you like you’re this precious. It’s gentle and firm, warm and large, pulling you softly towards him, gathering you, even as his mouth falls against yours, just as lightly, just a hint of pressure and you feel so small against him, against this unspoken message that he loves you. And it’s powerful.
“Josh—“ you say, finally pulling back.
He freezes, jerks away, his hands still gentle, even as his eyes are screaming, those big brown eyes that love you. “You’re really going to be with him?”
Your ‘yes’ is locked into your throat and tears fill your eyes, but somehow you can’t look away as you destroys your best friend from the inside out. There are a million reasons to stay with Lucas and only one to leave him, because you maybe love Josh, but you maybe don’t love Josh, and it’s that thought that makes you nod.
You can’t blame him when he walks away, when he holds on to your hands for as long as possible, even as he can’t look you in the eyes. You want him to look at you. You want him to fight for you, but you know that’s unfair to ask him. But you don’t want to lose him and you somehow know you’re going to and you need him to understand, but before you know it… he’s gone.
It’s not as if you’ve never seen his desk without him sitting there, because of course you have. He’s stayed home sick, made occasional use of his vacation days, gone on client calls — you know what the office looks like when the shape of him is missing, it’s the permanence of it that hurts.
As you settle in that first day of Josh’s absence, you hang your coat up and take a seat, You let yourself miss him as a coworker and as a best friend and that’s it. Work will be work, with or without Josh Dun.
But that’s a lie, because of course it hurts like hell.
Each day it’s harder, when it starts to sink in that this doesn’t mean a handful of days out recovering from the flu or visiting his family, but that there is a new and permanent Josh-sized hole in the fabric of you. So you play sudoku to avoid noticing the absence of his voice and
you doodle in notebook margins during conference room meetings to ignore all the jokes he can’t whisper in your ear.
As the day goes on, regret floods deeper within you. You always knew Josh was your best friend. But you probably always always knew he was more than that too. You just wished you’d been brave enough to see that.
That night you break up with Lucas. This time, there’s no yelling or screaming or wine glasses thrown against the wall. It’s respectable and understood that they are just not meant to be. You thought there’d be a Lucas-sized hole inside of you now too, but there’s not. Instead, it just makes room for Josh’s hole to grow bigger.
It’s twenty past five and you’ve got your coat on and bag in hand when the phone rings.
You debate for a moment about answering it — after all, technically you shouldn’t even still be here.
But, well, you are still there, so it’s equal parts obligation and impulse that has you reaching for the handset and saying, “Hello?” with a slightly tired edge in your tone.
And — oh, oh.
“Oh my god.”
Witty. Clever. Exactly the kind of thing you’d imagined herself saying to Josh when you finally reconnected after too-many-weeks of silence.
“Sorry, I needed a number from Mark. It’s a co-client thing—”
“—and I was just gonna leave a voicemail, because I didn’t think anyone would be there.”
It’s hard not to wonder if Josh had been making an open effort to avoid you on purpose, if he’d waited to call until twenty past five because you were supposed to be gone and he’s supposed to get an machine instead.
“Why are you still there?”
“I had to work late.” And then, because that sounds flimsy, goes on. “Well I didn’t have to, but there were just some open files I wanted to finish up.”
“Wow,” he says, the faint tone of amusement in his voice. “Wow, they’ve really changed you Y/L/N. Going above and beyond, that’s not you.”
And you’re smiling—because it’s Josh and you aren’t sure your face is capable of behaving any other way around him—but there’s something nervous and careful in the lines of your expression that isn’t usually there. You’ve missed him, but knows that a subtle shift occurred in their relationship that can’t be undone, that things might never be as easy as they once were.
“Everything else is pretty much the same here.” Except—god, no—of course it isn’t.
You change up your previous statement. “A little different.” Because you need him to understand that even though the routines of the office cycle on, no part of that environment could ever be the same to you without him there. Then you ask, “what time is it there?”
“…What time is it here?” He pauses, something uncertain and unsure in his tone. “Um, we’re in the same time zone.”
“Oh, yeah, right.”
“How far apart did you think we were?”
“I don’t know,” you mutter, embarrassed. “It feels really far.” And you can hear his thoughtful, quiet agreement that suggests it’s more than just the miles dividing Columbus and Detroit that’s currently between them.
It took you until the next morning to get your act together. You were walking into the building, the sun rising across the lot, and you felt it. A crumpled up piece of paper in your pocket. You gripped it in your fist before pulling it out, unwrapping the paper and trying to make out the scrubbed words.
“You can’t get rid of me that easy.” It was a note from Josh. One from back before the airplane competition, where they’d bet on how many green M&M’s were in the jar resting on reception. You’d beat him easily, leaving time to gloat on how he should just give up on betting against you, cause you always won, just like you did every other time you two bet on something. Josh had left the note on your desk with the soda you’d won.
You could feel the tears surfacing, blurring your vision as you turned in your spot and starting walking all the way back to your car. You opened the note up again after you’d sat in the driver’s seat, unfolding the paper and running your hands over Josh’s scratchy scrawl and letting yourself feel what was long overdue. It all floods in at once. The despair, the guilt, the regret. But also the love and admiration and memories of laughing, smiling, feeling lighter than ever around him.
You didn’t think twice as you flicked your blinker on to turn onto the highway headed towards Detroit.
The city was so close down the road, you could see the outline of hazy buildings out of the window. You stared diligently ahead, running through what you were going to exactly say to Josh when the time came. But before you knew it, you were pulling into the parking lot of the Detroit branch, sliding into the spot beside Josh’s car as an automatic reflex, and you still had no idea what you were doing, what you would say. Yet your feet trudged up to the front door, almost like a little girl who knew that you had to admit to your mother that you’d smashed her favorite vase, because it had to be done, you just weren’t quite ready for the aftermath. There were no obstacles now. No Lucas or unacknowledged feelings and you were sure that’s what scared you the most. What if, after all this time, Josh had just had enough? What if you just weren’t meant to be?
You walked right up to reception, waiting until the woman hung up the phone before telling her you were here to see Josh.
“Y/N?” his familiar voice rings through the air and when you look over, you can see him taking off his headset and standing up from his desk. “What are you doing here?” There’s a hint of curiosity and surprise and maybe even a little excitement in his voice.
You couldn’t tell him here. You had to go somewhere more private.
“Could we um, talk?” you say quietly, offering him the slightest smile even amidst your nerves.
“Yeah,” he says, “let me just grab my coat—“ he motions back towards his desk with his thumb, where you see his familiar dark blue fabric hanging off from the back of his chair. You wait patiently with your arms crossed across your chest, bouncing on the backs of your heels.
“All set?” he says, hand buried deep within his pockets.
You walk down to the parking lot in silence, still pondering what you were going to say to Josh in your head.
“How’s Detroit?” you asked after thanking him for holding the door open for you. You wanted to stall as long as possible.
Josh chuckles, “Common, Y/N. You didn’t drive three and a half hours to Detroit to ask me how the city is.”
You blush, of course you didn’t. But you still didn’t know what to say to him. To Josh. The man you loved, completely and wholly, with everything inside of you.
You could feel your cheeks growing hot as you thought about what you were about to admit. You’d had so much courage built up inside of you before, but now, it was quickly draining. You had to say it before you were completely empty.
“I miss you.”
Your heart’s still thumping like crazy, banging against your ribs, and you’re not entirely sure what you just said.
And Josh didn’t say anything back to you, but it wasn’t like you said all the stuff that you were thinking to him.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” you continue, your voice wavering.
Josh shakes his head. “I’m okay.“
You nod. There’s a silence, long enough that you worry you’re not going to be able to say it all and nothing will happen and you’ll go back to being scared and afraid. You want to be someone who says what they feel.
“It’s just— the office isn’t the same and… I miss you. I miss you a lot, Josh. I miss my best friend.”
“It can’t be that way again, Y/N,” he says. “I wasn’t your best friend. I was in love with you.”
“We could be friends now. Just go back to the way things were—“ you weren’t sure why you were burying your feelings again, but it was instinctual.
"No,” he says. He’s standing so still, arms at his sides. ”What you miss – that wasn’t friends. That was us… that was me being something more. All the time. And I can’t do that anymore. It hurt too much.”
You feel kind of sick, but a little voice in the back of your head says you should be grateful for whatever happened, because it was better than being endlessly, endlessly quiet.
“Then I’m really sorry,” you say at last. “Because I miss that.”
“What do you think that means?” he asks, and there’s a little heat in his voice. “What do you think you’re really missing?”
This morning you would have undoubtedly ducked your head and avoided the question, or flat-out lied. Now though, you had driven three and a half hours and you’re standing in front of Josh, far enough away that you have to speak up for him to hear.
“I know what it means,” you say quietly. “And you know.”
He shakes his head, “I don’t. You’ve made it clear you only wanted to be friends.”
“I don’t think I’ve made anything clear,” you say, and for the first time you have the urge to move closer, speak more softly, because this is the hard part, the thing you couldn’t say in front of everyone else. “I should have been honest a long time ago, and I know that, but I couldn’t until I knew what I wanted.”
“Do you?” he asks after a moment, his voice low. “Know?”
You take a big breath, letting the oxygen go to your head, willing back the feeling you had just before you ran up to the third floor. “I want to feel the way I did when I was with you, back before you moved to Detroit. I don’t want to be lonely, and I want to redo the past two years except it made me figure out a lot of things about myself, so I don’t know. I want stuff to be easy, Josh, and it isn’t, and I thought that maybe if we could be friends again I could have one thing in my life that made me happy, even if it wasn’t what I really wanted.”
He’s quiet for a long time. The wind whips against you, making you shiver.
“Why can’t you say it?” he asks.
“Would anything change if I did?”
“I don’t know, everything changed when I said it.”
“Fuck it,” you say, the cold air filling your lungs, “I love you. I have loved you but I was with Lucas and I was afraid and I didn’t know it. And I’m still afraid, but I know it now.”
You stare and wait for his reaction, hoping with everything inside of you that you weren’t too late. But the look on Josh’s face, the sad, almost pitiful stare, gave you reason to believe that you were.
And your courage drained for good.
“I’m sorry,” you said, wiping a tear falling down your cheek, “I shouldn’t have come. I’m gonna get going. It was nice to see you,” you mumble before turning away and heading towards your car.
When Josh saw you turn away, it was as if lightning struck him. All he could see was your back, stiff and tense, walking back towards your car, parked near his, and suddenly he didn’t know what he was doing. He didn’t know how it had come to this. The last several months had turned you both into people he didn’t even recognize anymore, and he blamed himself.
You were all he ever wanted. You were the one he saw in his dreams and imagined in his fantasies for years on end, and he had you. It was supposed to be forever, but all he seemed to do anymore was hurt you. The Josh from six weeks ago would absolutely kill him for that. The Josh from six weeks ago would feel about him like he used to feel about Lucas. Lucas took you for granted, and didn’t consider your feelings.
Like Josh was doing now.
He sprinted toward you, his long legs reaching yours in just a couple of long strides, and he grabbed your arm to turn you around. You had no idea what was happening, but he didn’t stop to explain. He simply wrapped his arms all the way around you, and held you close. You didn’t resist, but you didn’t reciprocate immediately. He pulled you closer. He buried his face in your hair, nuzzled into your neck, and tried to breathe you in. He remembered the electric shock of when you first met (for him, anyway), how it felt to love you and not be able to have you. He couldn’t let himself let it slip away.
You finally wrapped your arms around him, and he felt a small shudder go through you. You pulled back and he could see your face crumple just before you took his face in both hands and kissed him. When you parted, you were both smiling as said, “I love you” in unison. He hugged her so tightly he almost picked you up off from the ground.
Summary– Being a wedding planner is all fun and games until suddenly you’re saved from an accident by the man of your dreams– later discovering that he happens to be your latest client’s fiancé.
Author’sNote– First off, I am just beyond excited for this series! I absolutely loved this movie and figured, “Why not make it into a series and add my own twist to it?” So I finally did and I really hope you all enjoy it! feedback would be greatly appreciated folks.
BTS Reaction of seeing you in a sexy formal dress for the first time
Request: BTS’s reaction to seeing their gf in a sexy formal dress for the first time (think Jessica Rabbit’s red dress). Keep in mind she usually wears jeans and shirts.
Keep sending them in! (:
Rap Monster: You were really nervous as what he would think of you. You didn’t like wearing dresses but this was a big night for Namjoon and you just wanted to surprise him. You had bought yourself a skin tight, elegant, black dress that hugged every curve. When you walked out down to meet the others down at the car, everyone’s jaw dropped. Namjoons back was to you but when he noticed everyone else staring in your direction, he turned around and was speechless. He cupped his hand over his mouth he was so taken back. “Wow.” He would just admire, trying to come up with the right compliment. You’re face went bright red. “I am truly the luckiest man in the world.”
Suga: It was the night of a big movie premiere and you had told Suga you’d attend it with him but this meant you had to buy a new dress. you bought a jet black dress that was floor length and had a small train of black sheer material. You met him outside only to see him completely surprised. “What?” you’d ask. “Is it too much? I knew it would be.” “No! Not at all!” he’d stop you. “It’s just different. But in a good way.” You smiled at the compliment and got into the limo with him. Once you arrived, he put his around around your lower waist and whispered in your ear, “You look amazing in this dress y/n, but id rather see it on the floor later.”
Jin: You were helping out a friend my modeling their new fashion line for their class. It was all good fun until she wanted you to try on her formal wear. It was a little black dress that literally hugged you tighter than your mum did. You agreed though because you had already come this far. Jin had come to pick you up from your shoot and he was a little early. He snuck in but didn’t do a very good job and the sneaking part because the minute he saw you, he lost his balance and face planted right into the floor. “Uh, sorry! Um..” his face would go bright bright red. “I’ll see dress outside. I mean you! I’ll see you outside!”
J-Hope: It was the big night of a charity event that the boys had planned a while ago. Hoseok had invited you as his date that night and said it was a fancy ball. You had no idea what you were going to wear. You weren’t exactly the dress wearing type. You were in the dressing room, being helped by the boys stylist who was more than happy to dress a girl for once. Once you had picked out what you thought was the perfect dress, the stylist helped you get to the event safely. You had gotten out of the car and had walked into the event. You could feel all eyes on you and it felt almost uncomfortable. You thought that maybe the elegant, red dress was a bit much. That was until he saw you. Hoseok whooped and hollered and screamed from across the room “MY GIRLFRIEND IS BEAUTIFUL! LOOK AT THAT DRESS DAMN!”
Taehyung: He would literally not know hot to handle himself. Your job was to try on dresses for people who weren’t able to be there to try them on themselves. You were a very common size so they company had just chosen you to be the spokesperson. They were usual wedding dresses for busy brides but today, you had to try on one for someone who was attending a really nice event. It was a floor length, sheer dress that had lace around the torso and the behind. It was the dress that mirrored Beyoncé at the Met Gala. Taehyung had come to pick you up for dinner when he stumbled in to see you in this beautiful dress. “How much do i have to pay to take you home in this?”
Jimin: You had promised Jimin you would go with him to a family event his parents were throwing. It was a formal party and Jimin already knew that really wasn’t you’re thing. When he told you, he really didn’t expect you to go all out like you did. You got a skin tight red dress that really did wonders for your breasts. When Jimin arrived to pick you up, he stood at the door, facing going completely red. He didn’t know how to react. He took off his coat and placed it over your shoulders. “As much as I love you in this dress, I don’t want other men staring at what’s mine.”
Jungkook: You were attending a big birthday party for one of Jungkook’s famous friends. He told you it was a fancy party and to dress nice. You weren’t really excited for the event. Dressing up and big parties didn’t really appeal to you but you promised Jungkook you’d go. When you walked down to his car, he had dropped his phone and was completely taken back. “Wow…” You would blush at Jungkook’s reaction.“What do I have to to take that off later?”
Pairing: Connor Murphy x Reader
Fandom: Dear Evan Hansen
Summary: the squad keeps teasing the reader and Connor for sneaking off to get down and dirty–except, that wasn’t the case at all. Evan sets the squad straight. | Connor taking care of s/o reader with Depersonalization Derealization Syndrome.
Warnings: mentions of sex, alcohol, panic attacks, swearing | POV changes | First person reader | not proof read
A/N: Thanks for such a lovely request, and thanks for giving me so much info on the disorder! I hope I portrayed it correctly, and I hope you like this!
“You all are the luckiest people on the planet!”
I found this hard to believe. It was sort of comical, however, in an only vaguely tolerable way, to see Jared Kleinman kick down the Murphy’s door, juggling several boxes of pizza and a brown paper bag full of God knows what.
“Care to elaborate on that?” Alana called, looking only half way over her shoulder. She and Zoe were on the floor, playing what appeared to be a very intense game of Sorry! They were already in their pajamas–yes, at six in the afternoon–and six of us had decided to have a lowkey party at the Murphy’s, since Cynthia and Larry had evacuated for a romantic weekend. Evan was parked in a recliner, his legs folded crisscross applesauce–his words, not mine–watching the girls’ game with genuine interest.
Connor and I were on the couch, my back to his chest, reclining. He was twitchy, and he had been all evening. I’d briefly asked him earlier if he’d wanted to skip the party, but he’d said no. Still, he laid behind me, combing out my hair with his fingers a little too roughly, his hips shifting uncomfortably every few seconds.
Jared stumbled in, dropping the pizza boxes onto the carpet–earning a loud scream of protest from both Murphy kids, the sound deafening my left ear. Connor felt me flinch and pressed a seamless kiss of apology to my jaw. I felt Evan smile at me from across the room–shy, like he wasn’t sure where to look. I tossed back a lighthearted smile, before turning my attention back to Jared.
“Because, my sweet flower,” Jared began, kicking the door shut and beginning to pull items out of his paper bag, the parcel crinkling annoyingly loud.
“Sweet flower?” Alana squawked, earning a glare from Zoe, who popped the dice unceremoniously and continued to move her peg through the holes.
“I come bearing gifts,” he continued loudly, brandishing his items proudly above his head. “Scotch, condoms, and Cosmopolitan.”
There was a moment of silence, the five of us glancing between the boy in the glasses, his pitiful treasure, and doilies Mrs. Murphy kept on the coffee table.
“I’ll take a slice of cheese,” Zoe called, stoic, Alana reaching around Jared to grab the top box and place it on her lap. Evan and Connor both had to bite down on their laughter at the sight of Jared’s shocked face–shaking beneath me, his breath at my ear, Connor felt like a reassurance that tonight wouldn’t be totally awful.
It wasn’t that I didn’t like our friends, it’s just that since we’d told them we started dating, they’d been a real pain.
“I hold in my fist illegal things!” Jared screeched, tossing the magazine on the floor overzealously. “And you choose to ignore me?”
“My mom owns Cosmos, dude,” I said, rolling over onto my stomach so that I could rest my chin on Connor’s chest, grinning up at him with tired eyes. School had been long for both of us today, and, frankly, I could stand to skip ahead to the part of the night where he kissed senseless in his bedroom.
“There’s wine on the rack, dumbass, and it’s a movie night, no one’s drinking?” Zoe said without looking up from her board game, tugging on one of her braids in thought.
“And who are the condoms for, idiot?” Connor nearly yelled, sitting up and jostling me back into a sitting position, my head swimming for a minute with the sudden movement, before relaxing against the arm of the chair.
Jared’s head swiveled, comically, between Alana, Zoe, and I briefly, before his eyes glued on Evan.
“No, you creep!”
We all laughed for a moment, watching Evan turn a sharp shade of crimson, curling in on himself in the chair. Zoe snorted a little too loudly when she laughed.
It was beginning to get frustrating–not making me sick yet, but any means, but nonetheless annoying. Because I knew what was coming, and it was only gonna piss Connor off–
“I’ll just give the condoms to Connor,” Jared said, throwing the box so that it landed in the empty space between us on the couch. There was suddenly lead in the bottom of my stomach.
Everyone realized, watching with baited breath as Connor eyed the box with firey eyes and a set mouth, a sudden blush creeping up his neck. It could set it off–shit like this had in the past. Still, I think–
“Gross, man,” he said, lightly kicking the box to the floor. His feet were bare tonight, void of the cute socks he usually wore, and after his movement he shoved them under my thigh–either for concealment or warmth, I didn’t know, but I scratched at the back of his calf loyally, letting him know what he did was the right thing.
Proud of you.
He grinned softly at his lap, and I could tell he was proud of himself too.
“What do you mean by that?” Jared screeched, reviving the headache that had started to blur.
“Drop it, Jared,” Alana warned, dropping a handful of green pieces back into the cardboard box, each thunk sending a hot jolt through my head.
“They’re sex machines!” He protested, and I felt Connor nearly choke beside me, drawing his feet away and stuffing them under a cushion. “Are you guys seriously not using protection.”
“Alana said drop it,” Evan said quietly, shocking all of us. “So leave them alone. It’s none of your business.”
“Whose ready for the movie?” Alana covered seamlessly, beginning to set up the tv while the rest of us began to calm.
Connor was shaking, and, away from him, I didn’t feel like he wanted me to reach out and touch him. I waited for the signal, something or anything that was him asking to get out of here, but he never gave it, just curled in on himself and watched the tv with blank eyes.
I shot Evan a smile, nodding in thanks.
What Evan had said was the truth–it wasn’t any of Jared’s business. It had unfortunately become Evan’s business, at one point, making him aware of the glaring fact that no one else in the room seemed to believe could ever be true: Connor and I were still virgins. We hadn’t slept together–and, we hadn’t planned for it in the near future. We just weren’t ready yet.
Not that anyone here would ever believe that.
I’m not sure I wanted them to, either.
Because at least that white lie kept the truth hidden, and maybe that’s the way it would stay.
“Unpopular opinion: this movie sucks.”
“We can’t watch romantic flicks or Mr. and Mrs. Murphy get ideas and leave early. This shitty sci-fi shit was all I had on hand.”
“Pass the alcohol, I changed my mind about what kind of party this is.”
Their voices were loud, pounding noises against my skull without really making any sense as to what they were saying at all. The dark should’ve helped, or I thought it would, but the high saturation neon colors and loud artificial gunshots on the television screen paired with the nonstop chatter of our friends made it difficult to concentrate, difficult to breathe. Everything was too much at once.
It was like living in a glass box, everything around me was vibrate and loud, amplified to the nth degree–but none of it felt real. Connor was staring unattentively ahead, his hands twitching in his lap. He hadn’t touched me all night. It usually wasn’t a big deal–I knew he was doing it to avoid the constant teasing about our PDA. It was starting to set him off, I could tell. Still, I just wanted a reminder I was real.
I decided to screw it, all their comments be damned, reaching out for Connor’s wrist as the signal.
His eyes snapped up to me immediately, concerned, his pink mouth forming an o. My hands were numb. He rose without a work, linking our hands and dragging me from the room.
“Where do you two think you’re going? It’s a little early to fuck, isn’t it?”
“C'mon guys, can’t you watch the movie? I don’t like knowing you’re doing that while I’m in the house.”
“–and Connor, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s–”
I had barely contained my sobs by the time Connor shut the door.
“You guys shouldn’t do that,” Evan glared, turning off the movie and setting the popcorn bowl aside.
Jared snorted. “We shouldn’t do what? They’re the ones running off to screw each other’s brains out. It’s gross. We’re in the house. It’s bad enough they’re all over one another at school.”
“Yeah,” Alana agreed. “I mean, if they don’t want to hear us complain about it, why do it?”
“I can’t believe she can stand to touch my brother,” Zoe groaned. “He was being a real dick tonight.”
“You guys are so stupid!” Evan nearly yelled, shocking the other three with his uncharacteristic outburst, burying his hands in his usually neat hair. “They aren’t–they’re not–”
“Breathe, baby, breathe.”
His hands were roaming all over, pressing to my chest, watching his hands rise and fall too rapidly. I needed to slow down, breathe deeper. His eyes were concerned, hair falling into his face from where he leaned over me, knees on either sides of my hips. His hands scrubbed quickly at my shoulders.
“Feel me? I’m right here, you’re right here, we’re fine. Fuck, I love you, I’m here.”
It helped–he knew how to help, when it all became too much for me to handle. Touching me–it keep me grounded, reminded me what reality was, where it was. Connor was safety, I knew.
He leaned down, pressing his temple against my jaw, pressing kisses down my neck. We took turns like this–when he overheated, I was there for him, and when I had a bad episode, he was there for me.
“I’ve got you.”
“What do you mean they aren’t having sex?”
“Let go of my shirt, Jared!”
“How do you know they aren’t having sex?” Zoe demanded. The three of them had Evan cornered, cowering into the wall. Evan’s bright pink face heated considerable.
“I walked in on them once? It was at school, after they, uh, left us. It’s not really any of my business–”
“Spit it out.”
“Whenever, uh, she doesn’t feel well–they have this code, she told me. Whenever Connor is upset or paranoid or she has a bad episode–”
“She never told you? She has Depersonalization Derealization Syndrome. Um, from what she explained it’s, uh, a lot of sensory overload–too loud, too bright, too everything–and she gets these episodes where stuff doesn’t seem real, I guess? I’m not sure I’m explaining it right.”
“I’ve heard of that, I think,” Alana said brightly, her face pinched.
“Oh, crap,” Zoe whispered, “and we’ve been making fun of them this whole time?”
“Well,” Jared sighed. “I feel shitty. Feel even shittier knowing Connor isn’t getting his dick wet, like, at all–”
“Yeah,” Zoe nodded sagely, scrubbing a hand over her face. “Yeah, okay.”
“Mhm,” I sighed, leaning back into Connor’s touch. He was wrapped around me, our foreheads bumped together under his sheets. He leaned up to sneak a peck at my lips.
“I’m sorry about them,” he apologized again, squeezing my hands in apology, leaning in again to press a lingering kiss to my cheek, earning a giggle.
“Don’t be. Thanks for every.”
He smiled softly, his jaw clicking softly, eyes soft. “Always for you, sweet girl.”
“Don’t get too sappy,” I warned. “They’ll get suspicious.”
“I’m allowed to be sappy when no one is looking,” he protested, kissing my jaw. “I love you.”
“Love you more.”
“Not possible,” he protested, finally leaning forward to seal his lips with mine, his hands grabbing softly at my waist. Connor was safety, I remembered, and I love him more than anything for it. The others could say what they liked–I wouldn’t trade him for the world.