doing the cockroach

Red Queen fears would be like:
  • Mare: I can do it!
  • Cal: Mare, it's not necessary!
  • Maven: Yeah! Let this with the men!
  • Mare: *Rolls her eyes* Boys...
  • Cal: We know that you are capable, but we are strong!
  • Maven: The fire will help!
  • Cal: We can do anything!
  • Mare: Hum, sure... So can one of the "men" kill that cockroach first? *points to what's behind them*
  • Cal and Maven: *looks back* OH FUCK! HOLY SHIT!!! KILL! KILL!!!KILL THIS DEMON!!! *jumping and running away* SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!!! KILL THE COCKROACH, MARE!!!!
  • Mare: *trying not to laugh* *rolls her eyes* *sarcastic* My men... My heroes...
ACOMAF Patronuses
  • feyre: a majestic ass wolf
  • rhysand: a bat, but like... a hot bat. or maybe a black kitten.
  • cassian: a mighty stallion
  • morrigan: a golden retriever
  • azriel: a sneezing panda cub
  • lucien: you think im gonna say a fox!! well i am yeah bc he's a fox totes magotes
  • amren: mothafukin!!dragon!!
  • elain: cute lil bunny wabbit
  • nesta: incredibly agitated owl
  • tarquin: the most beautiful ass dolphin you eVEr did see
  • ianthe: snake bitch (bitch snake)
  • king of hybern: cockroach?? do i look like i give a motherfuck??
  • tamlin: turkey. no wait, rat. no wait, a lion, but like a badly animated lion. like a really fucked up simba. no actually this asshole is scar. that's right, scar the evil ass lion. you know what fuck you tamlin you piece of shit you don't get a patronus fuck off m8
Hypothetical

 Anon prompt: “Hi! All hail Jughead Jones. I’m in love. Anyway, could you write something where the reader is really close to Archiekins and Juggie asks Arch about how to get close to the reader? Thanks xxx”

A/N: I sure can! All hail Jughead P Jones!!

Jughead slumps down onto one of the library couches across from me, I smile stupidly at him.

“Mister Jones.” I say.

“Hey, Y//N.” He smiles at me.

Hands reach down around, fingers clawing at my sides enticing laughter from me as the unknown culprit tickles me.

“Archibald Andrews! If that’s you I swear I’ll end your existence!” I manage between laughs.

Keep reading

Q. Will insects eventually take over the world? (Joanna Farmer, Coventry)

Damon: “That’s a Dave sort of question.”

Dave: “Get some sleep.”

Alex: “Not for a very long time.”

Graham: “But they will, won’t they? A cockroach can live without its head for ten days. Remember when we were in that sauna in New York, and there were all these cockroaches walking around, without a care in the world?”

Alex: “They were the cleanest cockroaches in the world.”

Graham: “Do you think cockroaches kiss?”

Alex: “Not if they don’t have any heads.”

Damon: “I don’t like killing cockroaches. But the best way to do it is with a blow torch.”

Graham: “Do they burn?”

Alex: “The scariest thing I’ve ever seen is a horseshoe crab. Fucking hell. They’ve got all different kinds of legs and landing gear. It’s like a Swiss Army knife under there.”

Dave: “They’re not insects, though. I admire insects. I think people generally like insects more after ‘Antz’ and ‘Bugs’. That gave them personality. But they’re all aliens, though, really.”

Alex: “Imagine if you could spin a web, or sting. It would be nice to have all that tackle. What do humans have to protect ourselves?

Dave: “Our rapier wit.”

NME, 1999

do cockroaches sleep like do they lay down and sleep or like……what do they do like when they hide in their dark hiding spot during the day are they sleeping with their eyes closed or do they just like park their bodies and enter rest mode but just still sit there with their eyes open they just dont move like…at all

Imagine Chris helping you through a hangover.

A/N: Part 2, y'all. ✌🏻️ You can read this as a standalone or go over and read Part 1, ‘Imagine admitting you want to marry Chris while you’re drunk.’ Whatever you feel like, this is for your enjoyment; you don’t have to feel obligated. Also- I’ve decided to make this a four part thing, maybe five if I decide to write the wedding. Inbox me if you want to be tagged to this mini-series. Anyhooooo, that’s all I have to say. Bisous 💋

You awoke with the world’s worst hangover; it wasn’t the first time but it’d been a long time since you’d one with this level of discomfort. You’d heard the saying ‘it hit me like a train’, now you were actually experiencing it. You couldn’t remember much of last night, you just knew you partied a little too hard at Carly’s bachelorette party. You couldn’t even remember how you got home, you suspected it was Luca- your best friend and only sober member- that put you in a cab. You made a mental note to call her, as well as Chris, to inform them that you were in fact alive.

You opened your eyes and immediately closed them again, wincing at the tiniest amount of sunlight peeping through the blue curtains. Blue curtains? Weren’t your curtains purple? You were in too much pain to take a second look; you weren’t overly concerned, you were sure it was just your hangover messing with your vision. You groaned and grabbed the nearest pillow, burying your face in blackout darkness because somehow closing your eyes weren’t enough. Fatigue and nausea washed over you, finalizing your decision to stay in bed all day. A bed that- oddly didn’t feel like your bed.

You pushed the pillow off your face and forced your eyes open to take in the room that was definitely not yours; you were in too much of a daze to realize it was Chris’. You sat up a little too quickly and your head spun, the urge to throw up everything you ate and drank last night overwhelmed you. You groaned and hunched over, burying your face in the bundle of sheets while pressing your fingers against your throbbing temples.

“Mornin’ sunshine.” You heard Chris’ voice and you realized you had somehow ended up at his place instead of your own. You looked up at him; he stood in the doorway with tightly pursed lips, obviously biting the inside of his cheek to suppress his urge to laugh at your misery. “How are you feeling?” He asked, a soft chuckle broke free as he walked over. “You look very beautiful.” He smiled as he teased, taking your hands in his as he sat down.

“I know, can’t you see that I’m on top of the world?” You joked and he chuckled softly; he was always sweet to keep his voice down around hungover you. “I really did it this time,” you managed a soft chuckle yourself, running a hand through your hair. You were surprised it wasn’t knotted or tainted with specks of vomit; did you throw up? You couldn’t remember. “What happened last night? How did I get here?”

“Well- according to drunk Y/N,” he began, brushing his thumbs gently up and down the back of your hands. “You can always find your way back to me.” He told you and you smiled. “I think Luca put you into a cab, there was a text from her on your phone for me.”

“Why didn’t she just text your phone?” You narrowed your eyes in confusion.

“Beats me,” he shrugged then chuckled, “she’s your weird best friend.” You chuckled at that. “Now-” he released your hands and rose to his feet. “I know you want to stay in bed all day but you need to eat something. I would bring your breakfast to you in bed but- we both know you have that insane rule of no food in bedrooms.”

“I’m sorry, do you want cockroaches and ants when you sleep?”

“C'mon,” he chuckled and held out his hand for you to take. “I got some coffee, pancakes and bacon waiting for you downstairs.” Your stomach growled with excitement at the sound of your breakfast. “Caffeine, grease, carbs, and sugar. Just what you need to get over this hangover,” he winked with a click of his tongue.

“Oh God.” You groaned and let him pull you to your feet. “Everything hurts, Chris.” You whined and rubbed your throbbing left temple when he released your hand and wrapped an arm around you. “That’s it, I am never drinking again.”

“You do realize you say that every time you wake up with a bad hangover, right?” He chuckled as the two of you made your way downstairs. Your eyes narrowed slightly at the two fully packed duffle bags by the door; one of them was yours. “Yet here we are,” he teased you and you rolled your eyes; somehow, that hurt too. “Look on the bright side, it’s Saturday and you don’t work on the weekends.”

“I’m a screen writer, as long as I’m breathing- I’m working.” You retorted and he chuckled softly. “But I don’t have to go into the studio which is good. But I do have a script to finish which-” you heaved a sigh, “I can’t seem to do, so not so good. Don’t you ever get sick of your job?” You asked, completely forgetting who you were talking to. “Right-” you pressed your lips together when you remembered. “Who could get sick of being Captain America?”

“You forget I’m not always Captain America, I’ve had my fair share of bad roles that make doing what I love a bit of a drag.” He reminded you and you sighed again. “Sweetheart, I know your work can get a little taxing but- you are doing what you love to do. Yes, you’ll get the occasional bad job but you’ve also had some really great ones. Shall I take you to your Oscar to remind you how much you love your job?”

“No,” you chuckled. “I’m very aware of how much I love my job, after all-” You looked up at him and planted a kiss on his jaw. “It is what brought us together. Don’t mind me, it’s just hangover me talking. She’s a bit of a bummer.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “drunk you is much more fun.” He took his arm off you as the two of you entered the kitchen. He went over to the coffee pot and poured you a cup, he creamed and sugared it before passing it to you. “Here,” he grabbed the plate of pancakes and bacon he prepared for you and put it in front of you as you took a seat at the breakfast bar.

“I’m sorry I woke you up last night,” you told him after taking a sip of your steaming hot coffee. “I bet you weren’t so happy to see me at such an ungodly hour,” you joked and chuckled softly. “Next time I go out and party without you, take your key from me.”

“Oh stop,” he chuckled. “I’m always happy to see you, you’re my girl- there will never be a bad time to see your beautiful face.” You smiled and he smiled back. “Plus- I’m an actor, ungodly hours are my sweet spot,” he shrugged nonchalantly and you laughed. “You are extremely lucky I made you take that Advil last night,” he pointed out with a smug smile, “otherwise you wouldn’t be laughing right now.”

“Can you catch me up on last night?” You placed your cup down and started cutting your pancakes up. “I’m sure I did something stupid, I always seem to do that when I’m drunk. So- what did I do this time?” You asked then forked a chunk of pancake into your mouth.

“You broke your favorite drinking glass,” he told you and your face fell at that new piece of information. “Don’t worry, I’m sure I can get Stan Lee’s team to send another one. I’ll probably ask for a plastic version so you can’t break it after a bender,” he teased and you chuckled. “But that was about it, nothing overly stupid.”

“That doesn’t sound like me, did I say anything stupid?”

“Nope,” he shook his head. “Well- you asked for Fruit Loops but- that’s not that stupid, you’re a bit of an addict when it comes to cereal.” You narrowed your eyes, pondering. “You were drunk off your face, what were you expecting from yourself? Oh- you did strip off your dress in the kitchen. That was fun for me, you were a sight to see.” He teased and you chuckled. “Not one of your best drunk moments but it was a pretty good one.”

“I’m glad you still found me amusing.” You giggled and he nodded, chuckling softly. “Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask.” You began when the image of the two duffles came back to you. “Why are there two duffles by the door? One of them is mine so- I know it’s not you going on some business trip. Are we going somewhere?” You quizzed.

“I was thinking of taking you to the cabin for the weekend,” he nodded. “I already packed everything and the car’s ready to go. I was just waiting for you to wake up to have breakfast before we leave.”

“For the weekend?” Your eyes narrowed in confusion. “But it’s Saturday and it’s-” you glanced at the clock. “Ten-thirty. By the time we get out to the cabin, it’ll be like four and we’d be exhausted from the drive. We won’t even spend a full day there 'cause we gotta get back before Monday, so what’s the point?”

“I just feel like it,” he shrugged. “Don’t be a bummer, it’ll be fun. I got a playlist and car snacks and- everything we usually get when we drive out there. Plus- I already called Scott to go out there and set things up for us, if I cancel now- he’s going to be pissed.”

“Chris, I am suffering from a major hangover and I have a script to finish writing. Do you really think now is the best time to go out to the cabin?” You asked and he nodded, smiling. “Can’t we just- go next weekend, or even wait until Christmas to go? We can get our families out there and do a whole thing. It’ll be so much more fun and less time constricted.”

“I can’t wait that long,” he shook his head.

“Why not?” You narrowed your eyes in confusion.

“I just can’t,” he answered vaguely, smiling. “Eat your breakfast while I go sort out the rest of our stuff,” he leaned over the bar top and kissed your cheek before walking out of the kitchen. “We’ll leaving in half an hour so-” he glanced back at you, “do what you need to do, take another Advil if you need.”

“You can call Alex if I don’t finish my script on time!” You called after him and winced at your own loud voice. “Honestly.” You muttered under your breath and continued to eat your breakfast as Chris picked the bags up off the floor and walked them out to the car.

He popped the trunk and unzipped his duffle, pulling away the first layer of his clothes to reveal the Tiffany&Co ring box that he’d been hiding for months now. After last night, he simply couldn’t wait any longer. There was no perfect timing, there was just the perfect person and you were his perfect person. He was ready for what was going to be the best weekend of his life whereas you were completely clueless and unaware of what was yet to come.

theory: trump is a cockroach,  WAIT hear me out

He’s trying to build a wall, right?

You know what likes walls?

Cockroaches. 

You know what could survive a nuclear blast?

Cockroaches. 

Trump is going to build a wall on the Canadian border, hear me out. 

He’s going to box Americans in. 

And then he’s going to lay his little eggs in our homes and wallgreens and kmarts and Dave and Busters’. 

And then we’re all eaten alive, screaming and begging for help but unable to reach anyone cuz Trump fired all the ambassadors and he’s built up walls, political and physical, to trap us in his cockroach hive. 

But the outside world hasn’t heard from America in years, right?

So the day Trump finally tears down the wall and the world, tear-stricken and clutching their hankies, finally about to see the Americans again after all these years of utter radio silence, what happens?

It begins. 

The War. 

The War of the Roaches. 

He’s been preparing his nuclear arsenal. 

Humans never had a chance. 

The roaches are free. 

They are coming. 

They sweep Mexico and South America and Canada and what can we do?

Nothing, our biggest weapons are powerless to the roach hoard. 

We are powerless to their hardened exoskeletons and ability to survive. 

Europe thought it was safe. 

But the roaches are a highly evolved form of roach. 

Those years of hiding have paid off. 

They are coming. 

In drones. 

They fall onto the city and there’s nothing to be done, they have an immunity to bug spray and they’re impossible to smoosh, their skeletons are battle-hardened and prepared from years and years of training in American soil. 

They overtake Western Europe, and begin once more to build walls. 

Humanity is losing. 

Humanity has poisoned its water and food supply, but cockroaches can eat anything. They will survive.

They watch as humanity resorts to fighting one another and murdering each other instead of coming up with a way to preserve the resources they have left.

Meanwhile, roaches begin to collect plastic and create boats out of the Pacific Garbage Heap. 

They begin their tertiary siege.

Soon, they will begin to take over the freezing regions. 

They will create a resistance.

They have assimilated human technology. 

They will adapt.

Humans and their cultural adaptation, well.

Humans are in a disarray ever since Trump came into power.

They are no longer a worthy opposition. 

The roaches will rule. 

They are a hive, a collective, a united front. 

They do not see the differences of their shells, merely their similar form, their DNA, their shared kinship. 

Humans, individuals, are weak and squabbling.

They argue over battle tactics and what is a human life, is it worth losing one, is it right to quel the opinions of dissenters in a time of war?

Are other humans worth saving? 

Meanwhile, the roaches are preparing. 

Swarming. 

They develop bacterial agents designed to turn humans into mega roaches. 

Their DNA will be infused with our own. 

We will lose our human minds and find ourselves with only antennae and the desire to serve the Trump, our queen. 

And still, humans flounder. 

We kill ourselves  from within before our enemies can kill us. 

It’s not even a hostile takeover when they finally breach Asia and begin the process of doing the same thing. 

It’s a plea for swift assimilation, for cockroaches merely want to assimilate and eat us. 

But humans?

Humans will do things cockroaches could never do to one another, to members of the same collective hive.

Within the human consciousness, we were desperate. Hungry. Thirsty. Desiring nothing but survival and willing to doom every other member of our race to extinction if it meant living just another day.

Cockroaches share no such selfish desire.

They are one with the hive, and the hive is one of them. 

The hive will live forever, if the individual does its duty, and thus the individual does its duty with eagerness. 

For the good of the hive, for the good of the hive. 

Humans have no hive.

Humans do not see one another as friends, only enemies. 

Humans shall fall.

For the hive. For the hive. 

And who began the real cracking, the devastation, of human unity and reason?

Of human dignity and cohesion, the strands between all of us, the genetic connection between brother and sister? 

His name is Trump. 

He is the cockroach queen. 

He begins with us. 

He’s coming for the entire human race.

Be ready, brothers and sisters.

It’s us or them. 

involved-in-all-fandoms  asked:

in the tags of that cockroach giving birth vid, what exactly did you tag wrong so ppl can avoid it?

It’s tagged as ‘bug, insect, roach, body horror, maggot, larvae,’ and 'birth’.

The tag 'incorrect tagging for blacklist purposes’ indicates to readers that I do know baby cockroaches aren’t - for example - maggots, but that they look similar enough that folk who have that tag blacklisted might also want to skip that post.

(And thank you to everyone who suggested tags I hadn’t thought of as necessary).

anonymous asked:

66 and 82 for prinxiety

66. You should be nice to me, I just saved your life!
82. My back’s a bit sore from when you stabbed me with your knife.

I don’t know you anon, but I like the way you think. Injury warning. Also, I’ve been writing a little too much fluff. A little too much comedy. Brace yourself. Roman is writing some angst.

Anxiety heard a violent knock on his bedroom door. Great. Just what he needed. A visit from prince drama queen.

“Let me in, Anxiety, or so help me,” Anxiety murmured under his breath.

“Anxiety! Let me in, or so help me, I will break this door down!” Roman called from outside.

Well, he had been close.

“Go away, Roman! I’m done dealing with you,” Anxiety called out.

“Well excuse me if my back’s a bit sore from when you stabbed me with your knife! And several other places as well. Now let me in!”

Anxiety heard Roman pound on the door even harder. He was aiming to break it down. Anxiety pulled his hoodie closer around himself. He knew he had this coming, but he was already having sensory issues, and the sound of splintering wood added in with the sound of Thomas watching television didn’t make him feel any better.

The wood continued to splinter. Anxiety let it. Prince bust through the door, injuring his hand, adding to the gallery of injuries he already had.

Anxiety stayed as neutral as he could despite his sensory overload issues as Roman, bandaged and bruised, took hold of him by the hoodie.

“You should be nice to me,” Anxiety said coldly, “I just saved your life. I just saved our life,”

“You stop him from running into the street and make him drive carefully every day,” Roman said. “Do you honestly think that cancels out what you did to me?”

“You’ll get better,” Anxiety said. “You always do. You’re like a cockroach that way,”

“I am NOT a cockroach!” Roman yelled.

He saw Anxiety flinch and cower away. There was only one reason he’d be reacting like that.

“I’m going to keep being loud, Anxiety! You made me mess up! You don’t deserve rest!” Roman yelled.

“Go to hell,” Anxiety said, kicking Roman where it really hurt.

Roman dropped him in the shock and pain and Anxiety teleported away, hoping he could find somewhere quiet to let the attack run its course.

pendaly  asked:

I've gotten my sister to watch the show on the condition that I watch iZombie with her so I've got that going for me at least XD. I appreciated ur freight-train metaphor immensely. It felt pretty accurate. Also knowing ur a filthy homestuck like me may I politely suggest you think about the idea of burner!Karkat and Kane Co. Employee Kankri? Because this brings me great pain and joy. Also Meenah as The Duke of Detroit. I mean the fish lady has a gold statue of herself?? Idk I have many thoughts.

YAAAAAASSSS  Meenah would make a fantastic Duke!  Have Feferi be Kaia (the extremist “well-intentioned” ecological terrorist, wa-hey) and you can make the three main villains a Pexies triad! >:D

Kankri would be such a Deluxian tho lbr Deluxe and Motorcity are a lot like Beforus and Alternia.  

Presenting also as counterpoint: a mutant limeblood, a psionic who dresses up like he thinks he’s a seadweller, and an actual seadweller who thinks you’re all trash. 

Watching Knock Knock for the first time

Oh boy… *End of Time flashbacks* yes I am having a lot of flashbacks recently, but let’s hope this episode isn’t related to the infamous four knocks in any way

(Also I kept getting typos and writing “Kock kock” and that sounds so wrong in my opinion)

(The German title is “Klopf Klopf” and that sounds pretty funny too)

SPOILER ALERT!

-Tbh I’d love to live at any of those places

-DON’T TRUST THE GUY, MY MOVIE INSTINCTS ARE TELLING ME TO NOT TRUST THE GUY

-Ah yes, thunderstorms around an old building, totally not a scary movei cliche

-People still listen to LP records?

-That turned into a dubstep remix for a short moment

-Yay, it’s Bill’s theme.

-I love Bill’s theme. It’s relaxing but not slow, and merry, and adventurous…

-SHE’S USING THE TARDIS AS BAGGAGE TRANSPORT

-”Unless we’ve regenerated, or had a big lunch…”
 Rose: “Doctor, Doctor, wake up, please, we need you!”
 Ten: “mmmmfrrghf I ate too much”

-”Regenerated?”
 Twelve: *Vietnam flashbacks*

-The subtitles said ‘draughty’ when I heard ‘drafty’; I looked it up and apparently the latter’s usually the American way of spelling.

I remember him doing that before in another reincarnation, just not sure when.

-”He’s… my… granddad…”
 omfg Bill’s embarrased, I feel like Twelve would be offended but why do I find this so funny

-”I don’t look old enough to–”
 Well maybe you’re not that old by Time Lord standards but tbh you’re over 2000, you said so yourself

1. That face.
2. That moment when someone doesn’t high-five you back.
3. Apparently Bill’s told everyone about the Doctor, or maybe they’re just all in his class.

-”Oh, come on, father, at least, please.”
 “Oh alright, grandfather.”
 PFFFFT

-He is so gonna come back here later

-”Mine went greypacking on the Great Wall of China with his boyfriend, but they got arrested for trying to steal a bit.”
 That sentence sure is a wild ride.

-”Says it gETs HIM in the zOOOne.”

-”Yeah, I wish. Can’t find a way in.”
 Climb up the wall lol

-What kind of accent is this? Scottish? Northern?

IMMA THE FRESHEST FRESHY BOI THE EIGHTIES EVAH GAVE BIRTH TO YA DAWGS

:’D

-”You proud?”

 “Thanks.”
 D’aaaaaaawwww

-”There’s no living puddles or weird robots, big fish… It’s just a new house. And people you don’t know. Not scary at all.”

-BEWARE OF THE LANDLORD

-I have a bad feeling about what will happen to Bill’s mother’s picture

That makes a lot of sense though.

-I’m not saying bad reception will guarantee a mishap, but when it does happen you won’t be able to contact emergency numbers and call for help. That sounds bad.

-”Landline? What is this, Scotland?”
 You sure are lucky the Doctor ain’t here

-ooooOOOOOOHhhHHHHhhH

-”Or maybe a massive, freaky spider.”
 I’d prefer that much, much more to a cursed doll.

-And of course they HAVE to mess with the Asian just kidding JUST KIDDING I made fun of my math class friends with a paper cockroach once

-Even my teacher jumped

-But back to the episode.

-WHOP definitely not a mouse

-Why don’t you ALL go and check

-Yay, at least they’re sticking together.

HA  told you he’d come back to investigate

-”Very interesting, lots of wood.”
 And the Sonic Screwdriver doesn’t work on wood.

-”For a man such as myself, discretion is second nature.”
 If by discretion you mean sneaking up on people and scaring the shit out of everyone

-I’m getting some Dracula vibes here

-Funny, I just looked up the actor and he played Van Helsing in a 2006 BBC adaptation of Dracula.

Thing is, he actually did that, in the past he WAS (and maybe still is) someone’s grandfather. He had to let Susan go.

The subtitles make everything better, 10/10

-I’m wearing headphones and that ASMR certainly was uncalled for

-”How do you get into the tower?”
 “You don’t.”
 (what he meant: if i ever catch one of your sorry little asses running into that fucking tower i will catch you and i will burn you fucking shitless you little shit nugget)

HARRIET JONES *flashbacking intensifies*

-He doesn’t know who the current Prime Minister is, VAMPIRE (OR SOME SORT OF OUTDATED SUPERNATURAL BEING OR ALIEN ALTHOUGH I’M LEANING TOWARDS ALIEN SINCE IT’S DOCTOR WHO) CONFIRMED

-”I take it back. you’re fine. He’s weird.”
Of course the Doctor’s fine
I mean he saves people, nothing else, haha

-DON’T GO UPSTAIRS

Yay!

-I’m about as happy as that girl there right now

-BILL TASTE IN MUSIC OMFG

look at the pouting owl

-”You’re not leaving, are you?”
 “No.”

-”We need to have a talk about your taste in music.”

-”Oh, this FREAKY SCOOBY DOO HOUSE!”

Boy who cried wolf and all, but I still think you should be concerned

-STOP KNOCKING

-*the Master is triggered from a whole another dimension*

You’ve had quite the crazy life, Doctor…

-I wonder if any of his students are making conspiracy theories, or just theories in general, about all the weird stuff he says, or does everyone pass it off as a joke?

-So did Felicity make it out or

-OH SHIT

-”I’m scared.”
 “Don’t be.”
 “Why not?”
 “It doesn’t help.”

WTF?!?!???

-Kinda reminds me of the ancient pirates stuck inside Davy Jone’s ship in PotC

-Also reminds me of that Steven Universe episode ‘Horror Club’. Although in that case it was a Gem Monster embedded in the building or something similar…

-Lemme guess, the house is alive?

-So was the music sort of Pavel’s connection to life

-”He’s released”

-RELEASED MY ASS
 IS YOUR HOUSE MADE UP OF DEAD PEOPLE
 YOU’RE FEEDING PEOPLE TO THE HOUSE AREN’T YOU

-PUSH THE BOOKCASE BILL

That was… unexpectedly cute.

Okay, slightly less cute, no offense but from afar you lot do look like cockroaches.

-”It’s not a cupboard!”
 When did he figure that out?

-”You’ve gone crazy.”
 ”Well I can’t just call them lice, can I?”

Now I’m getting Crimson Horror (Doctor Who series 7) vibes as well

-Y’know, with the crazy woman that blinded and locked up her daughter…

-Nice. Photo evidence.

HIDE!

-”Good.”
 Not what I wanted but eh I trust your judgment

Showcasing one of the trick staircases of Hogwarts

hOLY SHIT?? HE’S BEING EATEN ALIVE??!?

I feel like some character advancement has happened in the last couple of seasons, I mean, I’m not the best at figuring out personalities but I feel (again) like, say, Twelve from Series 8 would be getting really mad by now.

-”I haven’t had visitors in such a long time. My name is-”
 GROOT
 “-Eliza.”
 Oh.

I AM GROOT

-Look at me, making Groot jokes when a character just died onscreen.

-”Why would he pick up insects in the garden and bring them in to see his ill daughter?”
 Well I know I would.
 “Everyone loves insects.”
 Thank you.

-Well apart from mosquitoes, I’d still rather keep my blood and not get an itch, thank  you very much.

He ended up calling them lice after all.

WELL I WAS EXPECTING A PLOT TWIST (thanks to some Tumblr posts) BUT NOT LIKE THIS

-THAT’S A FRESH LEHH OF A TWIST

-I MEAN HALL

-I MEAN HELL

-I APPRECIATE IT BUT

-I uh

-*crouches quietly in the corner* what about the bugs

Eliza the Licebender

-Why are there fireworks?

-Oh.

And another trauma to be added to Bill’s collection!

-YAY BILL’S FRIENDS GET TO LIVE!

Take-outs! He got take-outs!

-WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING FUR ELISE

-WHO THE FUCK’S BEHIND THAT DOOR

-THERE’S GALLIFREYAN INSCRIPTIONS ON THE DOOR

-Ah, Pop Goes The Weasel. *fnaf memories* (yeah I know Scott didn’t make the song)

-It’s not really like the Doctor to keep someone locked up, and I’m seeing parallels between the old man in this episode and him… Too early?

-Soooooooo when are we gonna get to the Doctor’s suspicious basement…
 Lemme guess… the season finale?

-SHIT THE NEXT EPISODE LOOKS SCARY TOO

-WHAT IS THIS, A HORROR FEST?

anonymous asked:

Did you know that cockroaches can fly because I didn't and now I do and what they say is true, ignorance is bliss, I don't think I'll ever be the same again after this revelation.

I actually did, the house that I grew up in had a lot of very large cockroaches. We also had a lot of cats who would leave us dead cockroaches as presents same as we’d sometimes get dead birds and stuff. Fun times.