doin numbers

anonymous asked:


i am!! but i’m intimidated by the idea of not having enough time to do it, so i’m afraid i won’t be participating. i keep digging myself into holes and it’s really doin a number on me!! but i hope everyone that does it MAKES INCREDIBLE THINGS (as i’m 150% sure will be the case)

Anonymous said:

Scout I feel like you are the authority on Rob and Rich. I want so badly to watch kings of cons and will totally pay to watch them but I just can not do another streaming service like Comicon HQ (though honestly I don’t understand that site at all). Do you know if Kings of Con will be on itunes or anywhere else where I can buy/watch the show because it looks so good.

sorry i’m getting back to this so late!! as far as i know, even if you go to amazon or itunes, you’ll still need to get the subscription. however, you can do a free trial on CCHQ and binge watch in that time before you get the full subscription! more views will help fuel a second season, which sounds like it has a bright future! 

sorry i don’t have a more detailed answer, but you can also try contacting the KoC twitter, or other good people to give q’s are elly and tina

Anonymous said:

what’s the story behind your URL?

so this is actually my second url! my first was scoutv but it kept getting read as “scou TV” so when i was out with a group of friends on a little road trip we all came up with a group url that started with “consulting”

actual cannibal shia was really big at the time and for some reason i was the only one who thought it’d be hilarious if he lived in the woods but on the side he was a consultant for human dishes. a….consulting cannibal 

i’m a comedy genius

i’m not entirely why but dammit this url has stuck with me for at least 5 years, even after everyone changed their’s

im p sure ea didnt leave e3 and got kicked out instead for being such a fuckgign buzzkill every gotdamn year like ubisoft over there doin musical numbers for 2 years in a row while ea’s all just fooball… car… lets watch an entire fuckign game being made for 2 years….. entertain me you fools

Rules and Tips for Dating a Hockey Player

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine

It’s the Ten Duel Commandments

It’s the Ten Duel Commandments

Number one

The challenge, demand satisfaction

If they apologize, no need for further action

Number two

If they don’t, grab a friend, that’s your second

Your lieutenant when there’s reckoning to be reckoned

Number three

Have your seconds meet face to face

Negotiate a peace

Or negotiate a time and place

This is commonplace, ‘specially 'tween recruits

Most disputes die, and no one shoots

Number four

If they don’t reach a peace, that’s alright

Time to get some pistols and a doctor on site

You pay him in advance, you treat him with civility

You have him turn around so he can have deniability


Duel before the sun is in the sky

Pick a place to die where it’s high and dry

Number six

Leave a note for your next of kin

Tell 'em where you been

Pray that hell or heaven lets you in


Confess your sins

Ready for the moment of adrenaline when you finally face your opponent

Number eight

Your last chance to negotiate

Send in your seconds, see if they can set the record straight


Aaron Burr, sir

Can we agree that duels are dumb and immature?

Sure, but your man has to answer for his words, Burr

With his life? We both know that’s absurd, sir

Hang on, how many men died because Lee was inexperienced and ruinous?

Okay, so we’re doin’ this

Number nine

Look 'em in the eye, aim no higher

Summon all the courage you require

Then count

One two three four

Five six seven eight nine


Ten paces


thoughts on 7X17

- marco honey just stop 

- caleb honey im happy for you but your face pissed me off

- hanna honey youre still super annoying

- mary honey wth dont tell ur estranged kid not to be scared of her after you basically kidnap her lols xox

- veronica honey nooo dont let bitch ass peter hastings ruin ur life 

- aria honey youre acting so guilty 

- MONA honey what are u doin 

- musical number was actually really good loved it 

- ezra fitz being beaten up was really good i love it

- emily being a bit of a badass was good 

- how hasnt spencer realised what aria did (im pretty sure she knows, why else would she call aria right after it happened??

- that epsilon actually gave me anxiety - deffo one of the stronger episodes!

I was tagged by @jessyulrich to do this tag thingy, so thank you bean. :)


Drink: My speciality, coffee.

Phone Call: My mum the other day.

Text Message: My main hoe @thekeytoescapeisfiction.

Song You Listened To: As I’m writing this, Clown - Korn. The bass is honestly great. 🤘

Time You Cried: This afternoon.

Dated Someone Twice: Nope, not as of yet anyway.

Kissed Someone And Regretted It: Not really, I have to be pretty sure about things if I kiss someone.

Been Cheated On: Yup. It was a long time ago though.

Lost Someone Special: Depends on how you mean it, but I’d definitely say so, a lot.

Been Depressed: Yes.

Gotten Drunk and Thrown Up: No, guess I’m one of the lucky ones. Still, there’s time. 😂

Favourite Colours: Purple, black and blue. Basically every colour you’d find on a bruise which is kind of weird now I’m thinking about it

In The Last Year Have You:

Made New Friends: Yes, and I’ve made quite a few and I love them with all my heart and I’d do anything to make sure they’re happy. ❤

Fallen Out of Love: No.

Laughed Until You Cried: Basically anytime I’m with The Squad™.

Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: Yeah, quite a lot actually but they’re all cunts anyway. :)

Met Someone Who Changed You: My two beans and their sense of fucking humour. :’)

Found Out Who Your Friends Are: I guess?

Kissed Someone on Your Facebook List: Eh… Don’t have Facebook. 😉

How Many of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know In Real Life: Again, don’t have Facebook but I know about 98% of my Instagram followers in real life.

Do You Have Any Pets: Unfortunately not since my rabbits died last year, the closest thing I have is my Dad’s lizard I take care of sometimes.

Do You Want to Change Your Name: Always. Yes.

What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: I went shopping and then had a few friends over.

What Time Did You Wake Up: 8:30am.

What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night: Sorting out my clothes for today and folding my towels.

Name Something You Can’t Wait For: To see Metallica on October 30th. 😊

When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mum: About an hour and a half ago.

What Are You Listening To Right Now: Music, more Korn. 😁

Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom: Yes and weirdly enough I haven’t liked any of them.

Something That Is Getting On My Nerves: Two special snowflakes I know, the NHS, my laptop, the list goes on…

Most Visited Website: Instagram.

Hair Colour: Cliff Burton red.

Long or Short Hair: Long.

Do You Have a Crush on Someone: Yes.

What do You Like About Yourself: My sense of humour, my common sense.

Piercings: A stud in each ear.

Blood Type: Not a clue.

Nickname: I don’t really have any. Throughout my life people have called me stuff like Codeine though.

Relationship Status: Single. 😒

Zodiac: Libra/Scorpio.

Pronouns: She/her.

Favourite TV Show: Supernatural.

Tattoos: None.

Right or Left Handed: Left, we are superior. 😉

Surgery: An operation to correct my clubbed foot when I was a baby, my appendix and a minor one on my wrist.

Sport: Fuck that.

Holiday: I’ve been to Turkey, Menorca, Tenerife, France and in September I’m going to Crete for a wedding.

Pair of Trainers: I only own one pair of shoes and they are my Converse.

More General:

Eating: I last had some Nutella and toast.

Drinking: Nothing right now but I want another coffee. (Update: I made it and am now drinking it.)

I’m About To: Pee myself if I don’t finish this soon.

Waiting For: Death? Nothing in particular then…

Get Married: Maybe but it seems like to much hassle for nothing.

Career: Student. 🙃

Which is Better?

Hugs or Kisses: I love both equally but differently.

Lips or Eyes: Eyes, you can get lost in some people’s eyes… 😍

Taller or Shorter: Either.

Older or Younger: About the same age as myself, either way.

Nice Arms or Nice Stomach: I don’t mind…

Hookup or Relationship: Relationship.

Troublemaker or Hesitant: Best of both worlds?

Have You Ever:

Kissed a Stranger: Nope.

Drank Hard Liquor: Yes, less said about that the better.

Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: No.

Turned someone down: Yes.

Sex on the First Date: Lol nah fam.

Broken Someone’s Heart: Not that I’m aware of.

Had Your Heart Broken: Yep. :’)

Been Arrested: No.

Cried When Someone Died: Ye.

Fallen For a Friend: Yup.

Do You Believe In:

Yourself: Lol nah.

Miracles: No.

Love at First Sight: Nai.

Santa Claus: No.

Kiss on the First Date: I don’t see why not.


Eye Colour: Blue/Green.

Favourite Movie: Pulp Fiction.

I tag @oikip, @krikwahmmett, @flyinghetfield, @scumblequeen, @sunnyjaehyunnie and @thekeytoescapeisfiction if you haven’t done it already. 😊

Rules: You must answer every question.

In Landscape

by Buddy Wakefield

There is a chance
you will show up laughing
made of fortified fan blades and Ferris wheel lights
true of heart and best foot forward
our long-awaited love made easy,
remember for sure no doubt these things:

The joy,
we are a point of complete.
This life,
standing guard over your solitude.
My eyes
are monsters for most things approaching.
I’m probably gonna need a hand with that.
This heart.
This sleeve.
Neither one of them things is all that clean.
But the rain,
my lucky number,
been doin’ her part to make things right

for the light bulbs
and the bruises.
Hiding holy water was not my forte this life.
is French
for blanket fort.
I have trusted my corners to revolving doors
but am fluent in getting better.
We are fluent in bouncing back,
lifting quickly,
learning fast.

Our courage
is a natural habitat.
Ya know we’re gonna build a body to keep the wolves out.
Hold my house
you humble barbarian,
this door only opens for the remarkable now.

So we will both show up remarkable.
Speak your piece from the I can do anything.
Say it clearly.
Follow through

on runways,
in turbulence.
There is a book
living inside your chest
with dilated instructions
on how to make a safe landing.
It was written
for crash landers.
Thank you.
I am coming home to listen.

It is time.

forgive me my distractions.
There’s a freckle on your lip.
It is a national archive.
Give it to my ear
so you can see what I mean.
Here hold my breath
I will be right back.

There are gifts
hidden beneath these lungs.
Slide your hand over my mouth
and I will speak them
in hang glider,
in hilltop,
from the loyalty of a landscape,
silk in a sandpaper offering plate,
the jacket on a handsome man.
That lip
Sweet Grape, you cannibal,
kiss my eyes
until they see what it is that I wish to write down:

Your name.

Film strips of prayer.
Ribbons of a garden in stereo.
Driftwood welded to the guesthouse.
Ringfinger wrapped in a horseshoe nail.
I will meet you by the eighth day dream
in the wide open purpose of a locomotive coming
to a stand still with the sea,
like thumb

on pulse

you watch

what happens

when the air


into suction cups
opening up to breathe,
like the love in my lungs
took the tip of my tongue
and finally taught it how to read,
you five-acre ladder-backed pearl book pouring
from a pileated chest of Earth.
I know our story may look like octopus ink
to the rest of the breath in this world
(flying in under the radar
holding to a pattern of worth).
Come closer you guest of honor.
Chickens stay off the porch

in quiet,
in kindly.
We are the house gift-wrapped in welcome mats.
Your dinner’s on the table in thanks of that
and the loaves of chocolate toast,
the Book of Job and of Jet Propulsion,
raincoats floating in a rocket ship,
playing naked checkers in bed.
It is an utterly epic arrival
every time I get to see you again.

God, this is what I was talking about
for like 37 years,
a true story,
of oceanthroat,
of grace,
the holy goodness glory
I was praying to your face,
My Man,
is what I meant
and this is what I’m meant to do
so sit me down inside us now
and let me praise the greatest good in you
by laying down my weapons
including the shield,
in rest,

on cue, my friend,
you came
your name
well lit,
stenciled on the walls of Fremont County
years before we even met
in landscape,
in scope
and so,
wing tipped,
I wrote it
down to the ground you walk on
with the heels of my helium shoes,
“Put your ear to the sky
and listen my darling,
everything whispers I love you.”

Dear GoodSmile Company

Magical Mirai Miku figure announcement: 352 retweets, 300 favs

MitchieM Miku figure announcement: 882 retweets, 838 favs

Snow Mikudayo Nendo announcement: 182 retweets, 98 favs

Kagamine Rin&Len Tony Taka figure announcement: 6,117 retweets, 4,694 favs (so far)

…No ones asking you to stop making Miku figures, but please take this as a sign that you should make Rin and Len more often, too….!

I am wearing a dress again today, pale blue and scoopnecked, with a hem an inch above my knees, and 2.5 inch black pumps.

So I walked down from the Admissions building where I work to the Business Office where my mother works just a bit ago, and when I exited our building there was a young black man standing nearby, disposing of his candy wrapper in a trash can. (I say young, he was easily anywhere from 19 to 26; this is a community college campus.)

We made eye contact, smiled, said hello, and then just as he was walking away, he turned around and smiled and said, “You look very nice today.”

Surprised and genuinely flattered, I smiled back and said “Thank you.”

That is a compliment, dudes of the world. 

Not “nice tits”, “hey sexy”, “ay lil mama”, “how you doin”, “what’s your number”, “you got a boyfriend”, “nice legs”, or “suck my dick, bitch.”

That is harrassment.

Learn the fucking difference.

Follow this guy’s example. And understand that even that may be unwelcome or nervous-making, and you are owed jack shit for it–not a smile, a thank you, a phone number, or even an acknowledgement.

Fucking. Learn it.


Yesterday the temperature was in the mid-80s and today it was in the mid-50s. Spring is doin’ a number on my old bones cuz I can’t tell if it’s too hot or too cold. The boy thinks it’s way too hot, so I installed the air conditioner in his bedroom last night. Apparently he likes to sleep in a room that’s set at a nearly frigid 64 degrees. Ugh. Kids.

When the boy’s nanny dropped him off at home after violin lessons this afternoon, she said to me, “Mr. Jarkalooky, your son looks more and more like you every day!” And the boy said, “But I’m not fat like dad is, though!”

And I said, I think you mean you’re not phat like I am. And the boy said, “That’s what I said!” And I said, I said phat like p-h-a-t. And the boy said, “There’s another way to spell fat?” And I said, Well, I’m the p-h, awesome kinda phat, yo. And the boy said, “You’re just jealous cuz I’m phatter than you!”

And the boy’s nanny said, “You two are like the same person.”