Dog Tags

For RvB Bingo Wars! Angst Square for the blues

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The problem with spaceship crashes always becomes clear after the dust has settled. Here’s the thing about falling from the sky and hitting the ground hard enough to fold the ship in on itself, like a burning cigarette ground into an ashtray:

It doesn’t leave much behind in the way of human remains.

Or, Wash finds himself collecting dog tags from the wreckage after the Hand of Merope crashes. Tucker and Caboose step up to help, because that’s what teammates do.

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“We’re the good guys, right?”

Everyone and their dog watched RvB in college, and I admit I kinda lost interest around the time it started getting plot-oriented (which… whuh? That’s so backwards for me). I even liked seasons 6-8 when I got around to them, but it still took me a few years to get caught up on the rest of it

Which is to say WOW what a fool I was, here’s a big Project Freelancer piece to express my feelings about those particular losers like five years too late or something

“Seriously, have you ever seen Wash without the damn helmet on?”

“I’ve seen him eat with it on. The guy’s dedicated, I’ll give him that.”

“Ten bucks and I’ll draw a dog on it.”

The Signs as Sister quotes
  • Aries: Oh yeah? Well good luck being a cop, CAAAHHP!
  • Taurus: Anyway, when you're old and gross, you're probably going to die, and that's kind of sad. But when you think about it, all your friends are probably dead, too. And if they're not, then they're definitely old, and knowing old people is even sadder than being dead. So, anyway, whatever. Peace out.
  • Gemini: Ohh, sorry, she is a badass. She's kinda hot.
  • Cancer: Son of a bitch! I can't believe you hit a girl.
  • Leo: Don't do me any favors, bitch.
  • Virgo: What's up, dawg? God, doesn't this movie suck? All the people in here are assholes!
  • Libra: Don't say anything until you talk to a lawyer! You have rights!
  • Scorpio: You know how circuses have a bearded lady and a fat lady? Well my mom plays both, 'cause she is like, super talented!
  • Sagittarius: Yeah, well, they say girls can't ejaculate either. But guess what!
  • Capricorn: Doesn't sound like I have any of the skills you need. Unless you wanna see my ping pong ball trick.
  • Aquarius: But then I figured, who wants to be known as the girl who's had seven abortions?
  • Pisces: Oh, cool, you have a kid that looks like a dog?
Project Freelancer and Dogs

So colleges bring dogs to campus to help de-stress students. Imagine dogs being brought to the Mother of Invention for the Freelancers. 

  • South, at first, being like this is fucking dumb and then warming up to a pretty chill dog that just follows her around. 
  • North and Theta bonding over a puppy. Theta asking if they could keep him.
  • Wyoming making five hundred dog jokes “Fine, I’ll take a paws.” 
  • Maine in a literal dog pile.
  • Wash tried to help Maine before he realized that Maine was there on purpose and ended up consumed by the dog pile too. They aren’t cats but they’re so fluffy?? They keep licking him though and he’s ticklish.
  • C.T and a giant dog. C.T being hugged by giant dog. She needs a hug.
  • York trying to convince Carolina about the greatness of dogs and owning them. Holding up a cute af dog to his face and just staring at her with Delta reciting all the statistics kids who want pets have memorized. “See, even D says they’re good for you!”
  • Tex and Carolina getting into a competition about “their” dogs. “Yeah, sure, she’s cute but have you seen mine run?”
  • 479er jogging around the M.O.I with hers. 479er playing frisbee with hers. 479er with dog.
  • Florida playing hide and seek with a pointing dog.
  • happy times with dogs