BLACKOUT 2017: Theatre Edition🎭
Theatre basically runs my life and I’m perfectly okay with that. I’m so blessed to be able to express myself creatively as an actor through complex characters and also to be able to learn and grow as an artist through an amazingly diverse theatre department at my school. The journey continues…
Hi Ann, look at what you’ve done. Thank you for the pain.
1. “I used Corruption because I trusted you”. All this scene is sort of heartbreaking. Chuuya trusts Dazai so much it physically pains me. He hasn’t used Corruption in FOUR YEARS, and then Dazai comes and says “let’s do it like the old times” / “yes, why not, I’ll just put my life in your hands like I did countless of times despite the fact that you betrayed me and I haven’t heard from you in FOUR FRIGGING YEARS and I could literally die in front of your eyes”. WHO DOES THAT????????? Chuuya Nakahara, apparently. That being said, I can’t believe my favorite skk moment is also the moment that makes me raging THE MOST. Of course I’m still outrageously bitter because Dazai literally called him partner, folded his clothes (yes, I’m bringing back the vintage receipts here), washed his face from the blood and then…left him there??? WHAT THE FUCK DAZAI???
2. When they pull the power couple aesthetic. When they actually work together as a team, they are mesmerizing to watch. You can see that the roots of their partnership are still there, that they know each other so much that sometimes they don’t even need words to communicate. They are not Soukoku for nothing, after all.
3. When Chuuya fake killed Dazai (aka, Soukoku in a nutshell). Ah this is such a powerful moment, the cherry on top of a scene where Dazai did everything he could to push Chuuya on the verge of murder, just to see him almost doing it. I can’t help but think how liberating this gesture must have been for Chuuya, he finally let out a little bit of his frustration (that’s why he was there in the first place. After four years he’s still bugged by him, he still wants some sort of revenge, he still needs a closure Dazai is not willing to give him). But that’s it. You can say you’ll kill him all you want, my little Chuuya, but will you really? I don’t think so, because you care and love him so much it’s almost painful to watch. And if you, Dazai, could stop toying with him every chance you get, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you very much.
4. Every time Dazai reminds Chuuya that he knows everything about him. Tell us more about those moves and those thrusts Dazai, we’re all ears.
5. DORKS. First of all, I want Dazai saying “CHUUUYAAAAAA” as the sound people hear passing next to my grave. Second. I feel so robbed because in the manga Dazai actually laugh his ass off at Chuuya’s “little rich girl” impression.
- bonus: all the official art involving them is a blessing sent from the gods, I think that Bones ships them as much as we do if not more (remember the park date one? HONESTLY). But there’s one that has has a special place in my heart:
LISTEN. L I S T E N. I could talk about this art literally for two days straight because ??? You can try to convince me all you want, but this is made to be somehow romantic. Look at the way Dazai is tilting his chin up, it looks like he’s waiting for a kiss. And Chuuya is looking in our direction but if he was to look down he’ll be right above Dazai’s lips and ???? WHAT THE FUCK??? Not to mention what’s probably the most fucked up thing here that is THE FLOWERS. It’s a Camellia Japonica, or Japanese Quince, and they are the symbol of love, temptation, passion and deep desire. That’s it y’all. I’m out. I don’t even know what to say anymore. Soukoku might not be canon, but sure as hell they are baiting it…a lot.
I had evolved much more than I ever wanted to. Now, I would learn to speak and learn to think and ask questions, and make friends, and lose friends, and cry and laugh, and maybe fall in love one day and maybe see that love go away…but I never wanted to do any of these things.
How unexpected to get a letter from you after all these years. I thought you had forgotten about me.
It sounds like you’re going through a pretty rough time and having to deal with situations that you feel like you can’t handle – But if anyone is equipped to deal with these things, it’s you. I promise that things get better. Hang in there. Be strong.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I was talking to a girl the other day who told me of an incident that happened at her high school.
There was a boy. Bullied. Tormented. To the point of opening fire on their cafeteria. He was quiet and awkward. No one ever spoke to him unless it was to insult him.
He took the lives of many people. The girl told me that no one ever extended a hand in friendship to this poor child. She hadn’t. She said how she wished that she hadn’t turned a blind eye to what he was going through. She thinks to herself, how differently things could have been through just one connection. No matter how great or small.
She lives where I live now. A place where there is no violence. Everyone treats others with kindness, love and respect. If you can imagine such a place, I challenge you to do so. Think on it.
As for the question that you are asking yourself and others: Don’t concern yourself with death. Immerse yourself in life. Enjoy every moment that you’re allowed to but keep asking questions. My dear friend. Don’t ever stop asking questions.
Also, bear no malice for the ones who leave you. The only regret they feel now is the regret of not being able to tell you how they really feel. They wish that they could say goodbye to the ones they left behind. But sometimes that’s not possible. Even in perfect happiness – Even in nirvana – They will always have this regret.
A boy recently came to live down the street from me. He’s had a tough life, but things are better for him now. He plays the piano like your friend. I often hear his music wafting from an open window, where a small yellow bird sits. Sometimes I cry when I hear it. But mostly I smile.
He found a dog who likes to sing along. He takes good care of the dog. When we talk, he tells me of a person he knew from where he used to live. Someone very special who means more than anything to him. A person that reminds me of you.
I apologize for not being there for you before. And I’m not sure that I’ll be able to write you again. Just know that there’s someone out there thinking about you. Someone who has a vested interest in your success. How I wish I had had the opportunity to meet you. Maintain in your heart all that makes you who you are. You are a good man.
Your Pen Pal,
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