dog plays dead

nessrs  asked:

how can i get vagued by plebcomix asking for a friend

1. message her telling her you’re really sorry about all the hate she’s getting over tumblr user genderists and tell her she doesn’t deserve it
2. have an earnest and loving conversation with her in which she pours out her fears & insecurities
3. start talking to her on a regular basis
4. admit one day, after many months, that you think you have feelings for her.
5. arrange to meet her irl. tell her you feel a connection with her that you’ve never felt with anyone else. kiss her on a ferris wheel and buy her ice cream.
6. after a year or so, move in with her.
7. one day, take her on a date to the beach. as you walk by the surf hand-in-hand, the fading sunlight bleeding pink and red where the water meets the sky, lower down onto one knee in the sand. tell her she’s always been the one for you, that there’s no one else like her, that she makes you laugh and cry and think. take out the ring box you had been keeping in your pocket and open it. the ring is silver with a sapphire stone– tell her the blue matches her eyes, and that you know she hates the diamond industry. plebcomics, you say, will you marry me? as she weeps and says yes over and over again, slip the ring onto her finger and kiss her hand tenderly.
8. buy a house and adopt a dog together. live in marital bliss. make her eggs benedict on sunday mornings because it’s her favorite. go on hikes with her; make a pact to visit every national park together before you die. laugh together when she teaches the dog to play dead whenever she says “bang” and points her finger like a gun. braid her hair for her every evening while you talk about your days. tend your garden together and bring in fresh, sweet tomatoes to make salads and tomato soup with.
9. tell her you want a divorce. that you’ve never loved her, you never have. turn your back on her while she cries.
10. chuckle quietly to yourself when a twelve-page comic is published on her blog a week later about the fucking sjws always breaking her heart and making her think she was worthy of another person’s love and care and tenderness and lying through their teeth for so many years and oh god vanessa why did you have to do make her think you loved her? she sits alone on the sofa, a shell of the woman she once was.


Tucker here!

I just wanted to give an update that I am doing great! As you can see, I am quite the happy boy. Of course I still have problems once in a while with my IBS, but it is kept much more under control than it once was and I rarely have tummy aches anymore! :)

This is my “play dead” trick - now known as “play silly”!

If you wish to see me more frequently, please follow @CrevanNight on Instagram.

Watch_Me (Wrench x Reader) [4]

Originally posted by karmaheartsofstone

_[part 1]_[part 2]_[part 3]_[here]_[part 5]_

also im baccccckk

“How’s the video, Josh?” Sitara asked. They were trying to find out who is she. Sitara took note of what he was doing and was impressed by his speed.

“The profiler is picking her fake profile but not of her real one,” Josh answered. His eyes never left the screen, reading the data and the code. “If I can try to hack into Blume, we can find who she is.” Sitara smiled as she went to check their followers screen.

“So, she can kick ass and has a hidden blade?!” Wrench was talking with Marcus on the couch. Watching the video over and over. “She reminds me of a certain character from a game…”

“…It’s like she is an Assassin from the game that Ubi made,” Marcus scanned the computer screen. “But it couldn’t be,” He looked at Wrench who have the (o o) expression, both minds think alike if they had the same idea. “Could it?”

“…That would be… AWESOME!” Wrench raised both arms up, his expression change to (^ ^). “FUCKING AWESOME!” He got up from the couch and run around the Hackerspace while screaming here and there. Sitara and Marcus chuckled at his antics.

Josh was still busy with the Profiler, he got a jumpscared from Wrench as he shook his shoulders. “Stop it,” He waved Wrench away. His mask changed to (= =) and mumbled,“Party pooper…”

He then walked back to his work and continued whatever he was doing with the dashboard. Probably destroying more of it. What’s left of it. Wrench couldn’t stop smiling. Meeting one of the characters from the game was one of his bucket list. He can crossed that idea after meeting the Assassin.

Marcus got up from the couch, kept his laptop away as he made way upstairs. “I’ll try to find more clues about our saviour.” Upstairs to find more about her.

“Your saviour.” Wrench reminded him, making gun fingers. He cocked the fingers to the staircase. Marcus replied him back with his own gun fingers.

“Her last known location was at… that can’t be right,” Josh informed the team but he was confused on her last known location. Sitara and Wrench shared a look before going to him. They read what the screen had told them.

“She’s good.” Wrench comment. He re-read the entire thing and boy, was (Name) an enigma to them.  She gave Blume a fake information about herself and her hacking skill was a bit higher than them. They’re not sure if she has the same level as Aiden Pearce, the Vigilante from Chicago.

“Too good…” Sitara noticed it. How (Name) hide herself and her tracks from any followers who was curious about her, she has made an impression on them.

They really want her to join them.

[ at the cafe ]

“We have to stop meeting like this.” Jordi smirked as he took his seat across the booth. I scoffed at his antics. Read them, my mind said. Read the body language and be prepared. “People might talk about it.”

I take a sip from the teacup, the bitter taste of the tea gently washed over the taste of garlic from my tastebud. “Really?” I raised an eyebrow to him. “Let them talk.”

“Oh? You have fans?” Jordi called the waitress and ordered his drink before presuming his conversation with me.

“What’s the sitch, Jay?” The teacup was back to its partner. I refill the empty teacup with the tea from the kettle.

Jordi leaned forward and took out a paper slip from his front pocket. “Seeing that you’re nicer than Pearce, I’ll give you a challenge.” He used his finger to slide it forward, onto my cup.

I let out a snort as I took the paper slip. The waitress had brought his beverage and gave him a smile. Jordi took the cup and study it. What’s his intention, I read his facial. The paper slip, the other side of it was flipped to the front.

“Y'know, I have rules about challenges.” I finish reading the words that was written on the paper slip. “Especially from you, Jay.”

Jordi gave me a casual shrug. “Think of it as a…” He took another sip before finishing his sentence. “A… present, a gift for my favourite client.”

I poured the remaining tea to the cup. “Hardly the favourite child in your list.”

After finishing my drink, I gather my hood that was draping the chair and went to the cashier, Jordi was right behind me. I couldn’t take my cash out if it wasn’t Jordi who was being so generous to pay for his favourite client.

“I’ll inform you after completing your challenge, Jay.” I patted his shoulder and left the cafe. My bike was waiting patiently for me and it was yearning for more action on the road.

I send the bike its regards as I revved its engine, giving me the purr I know.

“Let’s go, buddy.”

Fic: Fortune (Visitor 12/?)

Title: Fortune (Visitor 12/?)
Rating: T for implied sexual situtions
Timeline: revival
Category: S, MSR
Summary: The dog happens by accident.
Author’s note:  Without tumblr to urge me to write more and squad to hold my hand, this story wouldn’t exist.  Hold on tight.  I think one more chapter will do it. 

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