dog leap

Today, I fucked up... by not putting the toilet seat down

My dog loves nothing more than sitting on the toilet seat when I’m taking the shower. The other day though I was having some stomach problems and the world was coming out of my ass. As I sat on the commode almost in tears praying for it to be over, I can hear my dog scratching to get in. I lean over to crack the door not only to let him in, but to let some of the nasty smell out.

When I’m finish I reach for toilet paper and find there ain’t none. With a tear in my eye I stand on up, feeling at least 10lbs lighter, and penguin walk across the room to grab some. Next thing I hear is my dumb dog leaping into the toilet and falling down the bowl.

Everything goes slow motion. My Beagle cross is covered in my feces, he’s freaking out ‘cause he done gone wet and stinks. He leaps outta the commode and hightails it outta the room and runs to my sister’s bedroom across the hall.

Now y'all seen dogs when they get wet right? They be shaking and rubbing themselves all on the carpet and up the wall. I hear my sisters hollering and screaming 'cause my dog is spreading my muck all over their sheets, shaking it on their clothes and none of them wanna touch him 'cause he’s filthy. They can only sit back and watch in horror as he ruins everything and tries to leap up at them. You see, my dog is a big old marshmallow and loves to jump up on people.

I’m standing in the bathroom with my junk still out, still needing to wipe, and all the while thinking it might be worth locking the door and climbing out the window to freedom instead of facing my sisters wraths.

TL;DR Beagle cross leaped into the toilet, got covered in my diarrhea, smeared it all around the house, my six sisters gave me hell.

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Me: *Is allergic to dogs*

Me: *lives in an apartment where I can’t have dogs*

Me: *doesn’t have the resources to take care of a pet*

Me: *lives with a “non dog person”*

Me: *sees a picture of a dog on the internet*

Me: I will adopt this precious creature, feed her the finest cuts of meat, train her with patience and gentle encouragement and see that she wants for nothing, she will possess the strength of a tiger but be gentle as a lamb, but if I am ever accosted on the road by brigands my precious dog will leap upon them and tear out their coward throats. 

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Leaping labs.

TIFU By not putting the toilet seat down [NSFW]

My dog loves nothing more than sitting on the toilet seat when I’m taking the shower. The other day though I was having some stomach problems and the world was coming out of my ass. As I sat on the commode almost in tears praying for it to be over, I can hear my dog scratching to get in. I lean over to crack the door not only to let him in, but to let some of the nasty smell out.

When I’m finish I reach for toilet paper and find there ain’t none. With a tear in my eye I stand on up, feeling at least 10lbs lighter, and penguin walk across the room to grab some. Next thing I hear is my dumb dog leaping into the toilet and falling down the bowl. Everything goes slow motion. My Beagle cross is covered in my feces, he’s freaking out ‘cause he done gone wet and stinks. He leaps outta the commode and hightails it outta the room and runs to my sister’s bedroom across the hall.

Now y'all seen dogs when they get wet right? They be shaking and rubbing themselves all on the carpet and up the wall. I hear my sisters hollering and screaming 'cause my dog is spreading my muck all over their sheets, shaking it on their clothes and none of them wanna touch him 'cause he’s filthy. They can only sit back and watch in horror as he ruins everything and tries to leap up at them. You see, my dog is a big old marshmallow and loves to jump up on people.

I’m standing in the bathroom with my junk still out, still needing to wipe, and all the while thinking it might be worth locking the door and climbing out the window to freedom instead of facing my sisters wraths.

TL;DR Beagle cross leaped into the toilet, got covered in my diarrhea, smeared it all around the house, my six sisters gave me hell.

3

Overtoun Bridge is located in West Dunbartonshire, Scotland; it is known for the bizarre phenomenon of dogs leaping to their deaths from it. The bridge has also been the scene for human tragedy. In October of 1994, Kevin Moy threw his two-week-old son to his death from the bridge. The reason? He believed his son to be an incarnation of Satan. Kevin then threw himself off the bridge but survived.

“The house I grew up in was very strange. My friends did not like to spend the night and said that they had weird dreams there. At night it often sounded like someone was moving furniture around in the living room. My mom and I would randomly smell cigar smoke when no one in my house smoked. We would catch movement out of the side of our eyes and nothing was there. Our dogs would suddenly leap up and follow something with their eyes, or would start wagging their tails for not apparent reason.

I once had a dream about a man wearing a red plaid shirt with black hair and a mustache leaning on the fence in the backyard. It was so striking that it just stuck with me for about a week before I mentioned it to my mom and she had experienced a dream about the man in the past. We think that might explain the cigar smell.

I was once home by myself and washing dishes when I heard the wood floor creaking behind me like someone was walking on it. I spun around, no one was there. I went back to washing dishes and there were a few creaks closer. I turned around and asked whatever it was to stop. It did.

The most unexplainable thing happened one night when I woke up to a scratching and rustling noise in my room. I thought that someone had broken into the house and was in my room, so I laid still for about ten minutes as the noise continued. Then music from the music box on my shelf started playing. I flipped over in bed and no one was there, my bedroom door was closed, and my dog was standing at the other side of the room staring at the bookcase where my music box was. I got out of bed and saw that the drawer had been pulled out, hence the slow scraping noise, and that it had finally be pulled out enough to trigger the music. It was on a flat surface so it couldn’t have slowly slipped and it was too high for my dog to reach even if he had the capability of being able to bother it.

My mom said that the people my parents bought the house from was a widowed father with a young daughter. His wife had died from cancer in a home hospice in the house. She said that when I was a baby she would hear me laughing and babbling when I was alone in my crib, and when she would look in the nursery I would be looking up at something. For some reason she felt like it was connected to the woman.”

By: NewBeginningsEnd (What is the scariest thing that has ever happened to you, paranormal or otherwise?)

Request: Competition

Request: Would you do a one shot where Dean has major competition with the dog the reader has had since before she started to hunt? A nonspecific mutt that the badass reader has a soft spot for despite her badass Hunter boyfriend… Please? You’re such an amazing person I love you tons!

Word Count: 850

Aw, thank you so much! I love you, too<33 I hope you like it!

“Forrest, heel!” You call sharply into the dark woodland. There’s a short rough bark and a big, black shape comes bounding out of the treeline. Dean will never get used to the way the dog leaps onto you and, despite its huge size, you stay upright as it licks the living shit out of your face.

“Easy, boy,” You grin, ruffling his fur. The dog drops back onto all fours, padding along behind you as the three – four, including the dog – of you trample back through the forest and towards your cars. Dean walks beside you, and is attempting to get closer – maybe to brush his arm against yours – when a warm, furry mass worms in between you, successfully separating you and extinguishing Dean’s attempt at basic PDA.

“Friggin’ cockblock.” Dean mutters at the dog as you reach down and absentmindedly scratch its head. It merely looks up at him, however, eyes seeming to be laughing at his plight. He glares at it, before glancing at you, smiling as the dog nuzzles its nose into the palm of your hand.

You’ve had the dog since before you began hunting – he’s been your solid companion through thick and thin. You’d only met Dean, however, a couple of years ago. It was actually because of Forrest that you’d met – he’d just escaped Hell and had, naturally, been nervous around dogs after his hellhound experience. You’d managed to get him adjusted, and the four of you run around together – you’ve taken to calling the group the ‘Scooby Squad’.

You and Dean began dating just a few months ago, and since then, Dean has had some serious conversation with your pup in order to gain your affections. He still sticks steadfastly to his ‘no dogs in the car’ rule, but neither of you mind – you’ve taken to racing and rallying down any road big and quiet enough, which has resulted in more almost-crashes than you’ve had hot meals.

When you reach the cars, Dean pauses, before tossing the Impala’s keys to Sam.

“I’m gonna ride with Y/N. Meet you there?” He says quietly, so you don’t hear. Sam nods, and Dean jogs ahead to catch up with you. He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling your into him.

“Hey there, you.” You smile, reaching up to kiss his lips briefly. He smiles, opening the car door for you. You let the dog in first, however, and it bounds into the shotgun seat. Dean just looks at it, and it looks back defiantly.

“Go on, you,” You gesture to the back seat. Forrest whines, but does as you say. You climb in and Dean gets into the shotgun seat beside you. As has become habit, you crank up the radio and two of you belt out the lyrics to one of your favourite songs, dancing along as you drive through the darkness.  

As the song comes to an end, Dean undoes his seatbelt and shuffles in closer to you. An arm circles your waist and you grin, leaning into him as he presses a light kiss to your shoulder.

“You tryin’ to distract me?”

“Me? Nah.” He grins, moving up your neck. You find yourself squirming, batting him away.

“Do you want me to crash?”

“I won’t let you crash.” He promises, reaching under your shirt and splaying his hand over your lower back.

“Right, sure.” You giggle, “We’ll be back at the motel in five minutes. Can’t you wait?”

“No.” He says simply, and goes back to kissing your neck. However, after a moment, a huge, warm weight lands in Dean’s lap. The breath is knocked out of him as Forrest begins clambering over – he’s too big for the front seat when both you and Dean are in there – and trying to lick at your face.

“Get off, you bloody mutt!” You laugh as Dean is forced to let go, “Jeez, Forrest, you jealous or something?” The dog whines in response as if it can understand you and you sigh, rubbing the dog’s back cheerfully, “Go on, bugger off.”

Dean frowns at you, “Why do you keep him around?”

“I’ve told you, he’s family.” You’ve taken down thousands of monsters and demons and everything in between, you’ve survived impossible situations and come back from the dead purely because you wanted to, but you’ve got a huge soft spot for your pet. Dean has never understood it, and resents vying for your affections with a dog, “He’s all I have of my old life – you have Sam, I have Forrest.”

“I s’pose.” Dean nods, and you reach out for his hand as you pull into the motel car park.

“How about,” You suggest, “I see if Sam wants to hang out with Forrest for the night, and you and I can-“

“Done and done.” He grins, not even bothering to climb out of the car before dragging you close to him and hauling you out of the car. You laugh as the dog follows, but Sam intercepts him before he can interrupt Dean’s route.

There’s no way in hell he’s competing for you tonight.

Enough | ~2,909 words | SFW | For entertainment purposes only.

“CHESTER!!! CHESTER FREAKING SEE!!!” she yelled from outside before swinging her hip to shut the car door. She could barely feel her arms with all the bags she was carrying. Where is he? she pondered to herself while guiding a paper bag full of vegetables across the concrete with her foot. She kept calling out her boyfriend’s name as she got closer and closer to the front door, but to no avail. He must be in the shower, she thought, as she turned the knob to discover it was still unlocked.

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