dog leap

Humans are Weirdos (ft.  animals)

I know a popular ‘humans are weird to aliens’ topic is how easily humans can bond to animals. But then think the opposite.

We humans are so weird because we are practically bonding magnets to animals.

We have our social hierarchies, so it makes sense that we can fit in with certain groups like dogs and even gorillas if we can understand them enough. We get ourselves acquainted with dogs who have been domesticated and these dogs will leap into our laps and constantly bother us for pets and treats and licking us as a way to show affection. People who can get certain animals to open up to us are super cool. Aliens are in awe of how our understanding of them can get us into a pack so readily that humans who are super close to normally protective dog mothers are allowed to hold their precious babies.

We can even manage to bond with animals like cats, known to be mostly solitary. We care for these cats and when they’re comfortable they will break their isolation and seek us out for affection.

Imagine an alien seeing a dog or cat go to an upset human and try to nuzzle them or snuggle into their lap to let themselves be held for our emotional comfort. These animals which, though currently domesticated, were descended from predators streamlined towards a goal of becoming efficient hunters. Willingly coming to our emotional aid and comforting us because they’ve bonded with us so closely.

Aliens see dogs act as protectors and bark away intruders on the human territory, but instantly turn happy when they know it’s their owner and friend. They see cats utilizing inborn maternal instincts to hunt down and leave 'gifts’ of dead things in an effort to feed and teach their humans to take care of them since we’re such worthless hunters in their eyes. They’ll even know if something is wrong with humans medically before we do, or know about disturbances in the home like fires or gas leaks, and will uncharacteristically jump us to get us out of danger.

And when humans are in danger by others, and an animal senses it before we do, these animals will immediately jump on the defensive and snarl and warn against any potential enemies  and try to alert us.

You’ve got dogs who will literally jump on intruders and bite them when they’re trying to attack their human owners. Throwing themselves and and intimidating animals many times larger than themselves for our sake. Even cats, the ones people might think aren’t very interested in their humans, will throw themselves into the fray and claw the hell out of something that’s a danger to a precious human of theirs.


And, for an added bonus, imagine if we can get this to apply to bigger, deadlier animals with similar capacity for pack bonding.

After months and months of talking, mimicking, feeding, and caring for a giant predator the rest of the crew refuses to near, it’s sort of relaxed to the human. A sense of loyalty that 'yes, this creature cares for me’. Then, one day, pirates invade the vessel and somehow the animal gets loose. Cue the crew panicking when it comes ambling out of its’ holding bay at the time when a pirate is about to bring a knife or something down on the human. Two seconds later this pirate is running and screaming for its life when it sees it. The creature takes a running start, LEAPS over the human (which was closest to it and already injured) and takes off after it. When that pirate is either captured or dead, the creature returns to the human, nuzzling them and making sounds to see if they’re okay.

The human is smiling and mimicking the sounds back, or just talking to it to say what a 'good boy’ it is.

The aliens of the crew are in shock.  The rest of the humans just smile knowingly.

The Pawns And The Kings

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Originally posted by bangtanbtsmut

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Smut

Plot: The reader is kidnapped, left alone in utter darkness. Once the day of her auctioning comes, she’s given to the head of one of the worlds most powerful gangs, Jungkook. She was nothing but a gift to him. But her little soul turns out to have the power to turn the tides in the worlds angriest ocean. And it turns out, Jungkook isn’t the only man whom eyes have settled upon her.


The devil was once an angel - a beings whom’s sole purpose was peace and love. He held the grace of heaven in his hands and the love of God carefully sewn into his skin by a master seamstress. But one day he grew jealous, the sin in the form of an emotion plagued him. He aimed his heart towards this jealousy and lurched in it, losing himself. The thread in his countenance unwound and the needle grew dull. He had lost his grace. He fell from his family, being crowned the king of despair and agony, becoming the utter essence of hatred that grew in him, becoming the nature of his still beat heart. He had lost it to the desire to be worshiped, and granted himself henchmen. 

And so he was given a new name, a name that has only been uttered from a dead mans lips. What a cold pale purple they hold, the cracks running down the skin as they shiver out the name. “Min Yoongi”

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Monsta X Reaction to: Meeting Their GF’s Husky But They Had Imagined A Small Puppy

Anon: Hello! :D Can I request a Monsta X reaction when they meet their gf’s dog for the first time and it’s a Husky (they imagined some small puppy)? Thank you!! <3


Shownu: The affectionate dog messes up his hair in their attempt to greet the new guest. He never told you he had been expecting a small dog, so he just smiles.

“He’s very friendly. I hope we can continue to be friends.”

Originally posted by madtwn

Wonho: He’s knocked to the floor, assaulted by the friendly husky’s wet kisses. “What is this beast?” he jokes. “I thought I would be meeting a tiny puppy!”

Originally posted by wonkkyun

Minhyuk: He’s already a puppy so regardless of the dog’s size, he will get along with them. He was just so surprised by its size, feeling almost worried when the dog leaped on you in greeting.

“Is this really a dog? Or a horse?”

Originally posted by minhyuk1

Kihyun: ”Yah! What’s the need for a dog that’s bigger than me? I thought you had a small, sweet puppy. If I’d known you owned a beast, I’d have come dressed in armour.”

Originally posted by wonkyuns

Hyungwon: Had expected something small, that you could both cuddle with at night. ”I don’t know how to tell you this but … I don’t think Mr. Tiddles will fit in bed with us.”

Originally posted by sonhvunwoo

Jooheon: ”Oh, giant doggo, please accept me as your owners boyfriend. I promise to protect her heart and not pee on the carpet.”

Originally posted by softseong

I.M: Meeting your dog was more important than meeting your family. A dog’s trust is of the utmost importance, he feels. He had prepared himself to win the love of a tiny pup, that he could carry around cutely. When he walks into your home, he’s instead glared down by a protective beast.

“Meeting your father was less scary than this …” he gasps.

Originally posted by kaimikachan

godlovesfrogs  asked:

ooh~ ooh~ my turn for an ask lolol how would the rfa + saeran react to an mc who has a really big, mean, and just generally aggressive looking dog but it turns out to be the sweetest thing (like my sisters' pitbulls, omg they're so cUTE??? HOW ARE THEY CONSIDERED SO BAD HOLY SHIT) sorry if it's a little confusing but i just love dogs


d’aw… i kinda relate to this… I used to have a very mean looking husky but he was just a cuddly sweetheart, like he’d run up to someone and just walk around them. The fun part was when people were seated because he’d jump on them and lick them. he was adorable af, and then my mom gave him away ;-;  f u allergies…

Zen

  • glad you don’t have a cat
  • when he sees him e’s a bit surprised
  • then you just tell him he’s a cuddly sweetie
  • he doesn’t look like one but ok…
  • after a bit he just notices how sweet he is and he’s just ???
  • he falls in love with your dog
  • probably sends a pic of ur dog to Jumin}
  • “Furball better watch out”
  • Gets along pretty well with your dog

Jumin

  • no just no
  • why would you have dog when you can have a cat?
  • Jumin bby pls…
  • when you tell him your dog is the sweetest thing he calms down a bit
  • then he sees it…
  • shook
  • Mc he looks aggresive
  • he’s not coming near Elizabeth 3rd, no
  • takes a while for him to notice it really is a sweetie
  • holy shit he was wrong
  • still not a fan tho
  • cat mom
  • after noticing how sweet your dog is he’ll let him come close to Elizabeth
  • not for too long tho
  • Jumin pls

Jaehee

  • Thank goodness it’s not a cat
  • when you tell her your dog is increadibly sweet she can’t wait to see it
  • sees it and just
  • well… looks fool sometimes so…
  • unfazed by how ur dog looks
  • notices it’s really sweet 
  • well with an owner like you no wonder it’s so nice
  • pretty sure even ur dog noticed u blushing
  • oops

Yoosung

  • HYPED
  • this boy loves animals
  • you tell him you have a dog and he’s just
  • YES
  • sees your dog
  • bit scared
  • MC what if your dog eats me?
  • Yoosung… Sweetie no
  • also effing omelette yoosung just popped on my mind after writing that goddamit
  • when he notices your dog’s a sweetheart
  • He’s  so happy
  • d’aw the two puppies…

Seven

  • Probably found a pic of your dog when he stalked researched you
  • he jumped when he saw it
  • and now you’re telling him to meet your dog
  • scared
  • he remembers how a pic of your dog almost gave him a heart attack
  • he can’t tell you that tho
  • he’s a brave chip
  • you take him to see your dog
  • your dog leaps towards him
  • probably yelps a little when your dog tackles him
  • then he realizes your dog is literally just liking his face
  • omg yes
  • forget Elly not really
  • he’s always near your dog now
  • they’re so fucking adorable you just wanna take pics 
  • cute babes 

Saeran

  • umm ok?
  • desn’t really care tbh
  • has he ever seen a dog?
  • holy shit if he hasn’t this would be so cute yo
  • Let’s say you forgot to tell him your dog was sweet af
  • so when he sees your dog he just
  • fuck
  • your dog just walks towards him and he’s like welp this is how i die
  • then your dog just sits in front of him
  • “Saeran, he wants you to pet him”
  • You’re telling him to touch this beast? are you insane?
  • *pets him*
  • your dog just jumps at him
  • shook
  • “Oh he likes you”
  • oh okay… what would your dog do if it didn’t like him holy shit
  • your dog grows onto him
  • loves how he looks pretty scary
  • edgelord here wants a scary pet pls let him be
  • also loved how scard his bro was of your dog at first

hope this is what you wanted! 

Thunder

Title: Thunder

Anonymous asked: “Sherlocks x reader. The reader is scared of thunder and tires to call Sherlock. Even when he’s on a case he always answers. This time he deep in the underground looking at a body. She calls Anderson who’s on the ground, he says he’ll pass on the message. When Sherlock finds out he’s furious. Even her PTSD dog can’t clam her down. (You can chose why she’s scared of thunder) could you please make it really fluffy at the end.”

Characters: sherlock, anderson and you

Pairing: sherlock x reader

Warnings: fear of thunder

Word count: 802

__________________________________________________________________________________________

“damn it Sherlock, pick up the bloody phone” you whispered as you dialed his number for the third time. A loud roar of thunder sounded and you made a low whimpering sound. Your dog came up to you, nestling his face in your side. Normally you’d appreciate it but now it didn’t help you at all. Of all the times Sherlock would go on a case underground, he had to pick the day when it was thundering. Ever since you were a little kid you were afraid of thunder. When you were little you had gone camping with your parents. Everything went fine until it started to thunder. In the storm a tree had fallen on your car. Luckily neither you nor your parents were hurt but ever since that day thunder revived those memories. “idiot” you said, more to yourself than to the phone you slammed down on the couch. “I can’t believe I’m doing this” you said, dialing a new number.

“Anderson?” you questioned as the phone was answered. “Y/N, to what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked. You could feel his smirk through the phone. He was the only one of whom you were sure would be working on some normal case and not underground. “could you go and pass a message to Sherlock?” you asked him. “why didn’t you call Sherlock? Getting tired of him already?” Anderson asked. “don’t act like you don’t know where he is and why I can’t reach him” you said, flinching when you heard the thunder again. “please” you added. “uhm, yes of course. Tell me” he said, astonishing you with the concern in his voice. “can you ask him to come back as soon as possible or to call me? I don’t want to be a burden but please” you said. “I’ll tell him. Are you alright?” he asked you. The smirking and mocking tone completely gone. “yeah, I’m grant. Thank you” you said, hanging up the phone.

Half an hour later the doorbell rang. You almost ran to the door, making your PTSD dog leap away from the couch. “I’m so sorry Sherlock, I knew you….” you started. You stopped talking when you saw it wasn’t Sherlock at the door. “Anderson?” you questioned. “hello Y/N” he said, leaning against the door frame. “what are you doing here? Where’s Sherlock?” you asked him. “don’t worry, I sent one of the deputies to give him the message. I just wanted to know you were okay” he said. “thank you, that’s actually really sweet” you said, letting him step inside. “I can go if you want me to” he said, looking at you. “no really, thank you. Please stay” you said, slightly smiling. He flashed you a smile before sitting on the couch. Suddenly there was a loud crash of thunder, making you yelp. With big eyes you looked at Anderson, hoping he hadn’t noticed. Once you locked eyes with him you knew he most certainly did. “it’s the thunder” he stated. You gave him a short nod. “alright, I’m going to make you some tea. You go pick a movie to watch until Sherlock gets back” Anderson said, walking into the kitchen.

“why?” you asked him. “why what?” Anderson asked. The two of you were now seated in the living room. You in your armchair and Anderson on the couch, your dog in his lap. “you didn’t have to come. Why did you come anyway?” you said. He remained silent for awhile. “remember when you first met Sherlock? When he threw the door in my face?” he asked. You nodded. “you were the first person who’d talk normally to me. You didn’t think I was a moron, even after Sherlock told everyone I was” he began. “I just thought I’d return the favour” he smiled. “thank you” you smiled back. Suddenly the two of you heard the door being opened. “what’s he doing here?” Sherlock shouted as he saw Anderson sitting on the couch. “don’t worry Sherlock, I was just going” Anderson said, grabbing his coat. He waved at you before he left.

“are you alright?” Sherlock asked you, taking you in his arms. “I’m fine now that you are here” you said. “I shouldn’t have left when there was a chance of thunder, I’m so sorry. Let me make it up to you” he said, kissing you. “gladly” you said, kissing him back. Gently he took you by the hand, ready to lead you to the bedroom. “hold on, where are you going?” you laughed. He looked at you quizzically. “no that fast mister. We’re going to watch that movie you’ve been postponing for about a week now” you said, pulling him into the couch. “fine, only because I love you” he said. “I love you too” you said, kissing him.

____________________________________________

@thestrawberryblondehobbitbatch

Originally posted by sherlocked-to-holmes

anonymous asked:

Vocal Hanzo accidentally summoning a dragon into the bedroom. McCree goes from shocked to ridiculously happy/excited in a split second. Bonus points if it's the first time he finds out about Hanzo being able to summon actual dragons.

This actually made me laugh out loud. Imagine it not being like the full on battle dragons, and not quite noodle dragons, but just like. Large dog sized Dragons. Like his arm glows blue while Jesse is like balls deep and he’s like “Yo what the fuck” and then two dog sized dragons leap out of his skin and Jesse is like “YO WHAT THE FUCK” and Hanzo , who was like lost in the sex snaps out of it and is so flustered and he’s like “I CAN EXPLAIN!” Meanwhile Jesse has fallen backwards onto the floor buck ass naked and there’s two fucking dragons on him. Needless to say it’s a shock.

my “dogs getting out of water” tag is my most exclusive tag. The dog must be undeniably removing themselves from the water and onto a solid surface.

Dogs momentarily “getting out of the water” (such as a dog leaping above the surface but will certainly land back in the water because gravity), or a dog seemingly making their way towards a solid surface but no proof that they indeed exit the water (such as a dog walking from deep water to shallow water) does not count as a dog getting out of water and cannot earn this tag.

If you find any posts that meet this criteria please @ me.

flickr

Cocker spaniel in action by rod white

anonymous asked:

Ultimate crossover? D.C., Marvel, and Danny Phantom? Do you accept my challenge?

Okay but who wouldn’t take this challenge
———-

“Cujo!” Danny called, looking all around him. Tucker just had to throw the stupid toy into the stupid Zone instead of in Jazz’s room like a normal person. “Come on boy where are you?!”

He put his fingers in his mouth and whistled but still there was not tiny green dog yipping his way into Danny’s arms. He called his name a couple more times, about to move to another section before he heard a voice.

“Who the hell is Cujo?”

Danny whirled around, up and down (and a little to the left) before he found the people who spoke. The one dressed in all primary colors stepped forward towards Danny cautiously.

“Who are you?” He asked.

“What do you mean who am I? Who are you guys?” Danny said. They weren’t ghosts, but something told him that they weren’t really human, either.

“Ah! We asked you first!” The guy in the flashy red suit countered. He had a fait point.

“Ugh, fine. I’m Phantom, and I’m looking for my dog. You haven’t, by any chance, seen a tiny green puppy with a spiked collar have you?”

“Uh… No,” Primary Colors said. “Anyway, I’m Superman. These are my friends, Batman, Wonder Woman, and the Flash.”

Before he could say anymore the dark angsty one, Batman, came forward.

“Where are we? And his do we get out?” His voice was gravely, like he needed some cough drops or honey or something.

“Uh… You’re in the Ghost Zone, and, because you’re not from my world we have to find a natural portal that leads to you world. Or take the easy way out and go to Clockwork.”

“Who’s Clockwork?” Flash asked.

“Eh, boring old Master of Time. He’s fun to talk to though,” Danny answered casually, looking around again. “Just… Just follow me, I can take you to him…”

Then, all of a sudden he zipped to the side, excited.

“Cujo! I found-oh no nope no I did not. This, see this is a… Hand? Covered in ectoplasm. Yup. Not Cujo.” He followed the arm all the way up to the person it was connected to.

A giant, green, hulking thing that was glaring at him. Danny quickly detached himself from the dude’s hand and backed away.

“Sorry. I was uh, looking for my dog… And he’s… green…”

“Relax, kid, he wouldn’t hurt a… Kid. Kid?”
A lanky guy with spiky blonde hair and a bow walked forward. “Where are your parents, kid?” He asked.

“Okay, first of all I’m fifteen, so not a kid. Second of all, that’s none of you business. Third of all, who are you?”

“Yes. Who are you and your brightly colored friends?” Wonder Woman asked as she walked up behind Danny. She may not have known him long, but she was quite fond of the spirit.

“What she said,” Superman said.

“Geez, no need to get all defensive. I’m Hawkeye, the guy you hugged is the Hulk, and Thats Captain America and Iron Man over there. Hey! Where did Spider-Man go?”

Hulk huffed and turned around, where Spider-Man was clinging, looking a little worse for wear.

“Bug Man on Hulk’s back!” The Hulk said, jabbing his thumb at Spidey.

“Yeah. Anyway, we’re the Avengers. And you are?”

“We’re the Justice League!” The Flash said proudly. “Oh, but he’s not with us, he’s just looking for his dog.”

Danny shrugged and looked around their area once again. Ge was just so worried about him.

“Where are we? One of Thor’s special little magic lands?” Iron Man asked with a bit of sarcasm.

“Actually, you guys are in the Ghost Zone. My name is Phantom and I’m gonna take a safe guess and assume you guys aren’t from the same worlds.”

Both side nodded, and Danny clapped his hands together.

“Cool. We are gonna head to Clockwork’s, and if any of you guys spot a tiny nonthreatening or a very large scary green dog with a spiked collar, just hollar. Because Thats my dog.”

They walked around for what seemed like hours, passing by Ember who called him a dipstick, Youngblood, who was pretending to be a cowboy, and Skulker, Who decided it was best to not hunt Danny today. Probably because both Hulk and Wonder Woman were behind him at the time, but Danny wasn’t complaining.

“So you really know everybody here, don’t you?” Flash asked.

“Well, yeah. They one into my world a lot because my parents made a portal of their own, and I kind of send them back home. A couple of them are my friends, like Clockwork and Frostbite and Pandora and Dora. They’re all pretty fun to hang with.”

“So… Are you a ghost?”

“Uh… er… yeah, I guess. I’m a halfa. Half human, half ghost. It’s actually pretty cool.”

“Sounds cool. All I have is super speed.”

“Oh! Shit, Cap, you’re hundredth birthday is today!” Spidey said apologetically. “Sorry it got ruined.”

“Wait, Youre a hundred years old?” Danny asked skeptically. “No way. Not possible.”

“I was frozen and in suspended animation for seventy years during the war,” he explained simply. Obviously a touchy subject so Danny didn’t press.

“How much longer until we reach Clockwork?” Batman asked seriously, changing the subject that seemed to change every five seconds.

“We’re close. See? That’s his tower,” Danny said, pointing.

“How are we gonna get over there?” Hawkeye asked.

“Well, um. I usually fly. Um… If you can fly just carry someone who can’t. Yeah?”

“Hulk calls Bug Man!” Hulk yelled, grabbing Spider-Man around his waists and placing him on his shoulder.

“I got Cap,” Iron Man said.

“And I will get Flash,” Wonder Woman said.

“Uh… I guess I’ll get Hawkeye then,” Danny said.

“Oh, don’t sound to excited there,” the archer replied sarcastically.

“I could leave you here wandering around for all eternity if you would prefer,” Danny’s feet turned into a wispy tail as he lifted off the ground, Hawkeye shaking his head no to Danny’s suggestion.

It only took them a few short minutes to fly there, and through Danny’s window at Clockwork’s tower. Danny noted that Hulk was really good at aiming when he jumped.

“Come on, he’s right down here,” Danny said, setting Hawkeye down.

They went down just the one large hallway before it opened up into a large room with hundreds of screens, showing them what was going on in all times all the time.

“Hey Clockwork,” Danny waved. “Hey, have you seen-Cujo!”

The tiny dog jumped into Danny’s arms and licked him all over, making Danny laugh. The others filed in behind him, but thanks to Danny, Cujo didn’t go into attack dog mode. The pup leaped into Batman’s arms excitedly, demanding attention from the Dark Knight. He pet the dog without a word.

“So, Clockwork, these guys have a situation.” Danny looked at his old friend expectantly as he changed from an old man to a child.

“Yes, I know. I’ve been watching.”

“Ok, so woukd you like to help us out now?” Iron Man asked.

“In time. First, I think you are all forgetting something,” Clockwork spoke with authority as he changed from a child to an adult. “Now, Anthony, why don’t you swallow your pride and thank the young boy who helped you.”

“How do you know my name?” Tony asked.

“I see all. I know all of you. I’ve known this moment would happen before you all were even born. Now, onto business. Daniel.”

“Yeah,” he laughed. He has been preoccupied with Cujo until Clockwork said his name.

“Your father is calling for you, I suggest you go home.”

“Oh. Alright. Anyway, bye guys, I hope you get home alright. See ya!”

Danny waved and left the way the had arrived, multiple thank yous following him.

Clockwork opened two portals and directed the super heroes to their specific one.

“Goodbye. And try to stay in your own world,” Clockwork advised before the stepped through their assigned portals. Once they were gone, Clockwork sighed.

“Thank you for your help, Cujo,” he said, patting the dog, who Yipped his reply. “It is much appreciated.”

So Desperate For A Dog, He Accidentally Kidnaps One | Phan Tweet Dabble

Summary: If the dog makes it into their flat on its own, is it really so bad for Dan to stall and enjoy having a dog for a little while?

Word count: 800

Genre: Domestic fluff

No warnings

Read more from the collection of tweet-based Phan dabbles here

Based on the following tweet:

Also available on AO3

7th of March 2017

It was an honest mistake really, besides was dognapping even a thing?

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Today, I fucked up... by not putting the toilet seat down

My dog loves nothing more than sitting on the toilet seat when I’m taking the shower. The other day though I was having some stomach problems and the world was coming out of my ass. As I sat on the commode almost in tears praying for it to be over, I can hear my dog scratching to get in. I lean over to crack the door not only to let him in, but to let some of the nasty smell out.

When I’m finish I reach for toilet paper and find there ain’t none. With a tear in my eye I stand on up, feeling at least 10lbs lighter, and penguin walk across the room to grab some. Next thing I hear is my dumb dog leaping into the toilet and falling down the bowl.

Everything goes slow motion. My Beagle cross is covered in my feces, he’s freaking out ‘cause he done gone wet and stinks. He leaps outta the commode and hightails it outta the room and runs to my sister’s bedroom across the hall.

Now y'all seen dogs when they get wet right? They be shaking and rubbing themselves all on the carpet and up the wall. I hear my sisters hollering and screaming 'cause my dog is spreading my muck all over their sheets, shaking it on their clothes and none of them wanna touch him 'cause he’s filthy. They can only sit back and watch in horror as he ruins everything and tries to leap up at them. You see, my dog is a big old marshmallow and loves to jump up on people.

I’m standing in the bathroom with my junk still out, still needing to wipe, and all the while thinking it might be worth locking the door and climbing out the window to freedom instead of facing my sisters wraths.

TL;DR Beagle cross leaped into the toilet, got covered in my diarrhea, smeared it all around the house, my six sisters gave me hell.

Edits + Updates

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anonymous asked:

What is the most spectacular display of magic you have witnessed?

This has taken me a couple of days to get to, mostly because, well. Magic ent real, not HP magic. I’ve seen prayers answered, I’ve seen people praising spells to help their confidence, and crystals to aid their sleep, but I’ve not seen magic as it’s shown in HP.

This is what I have seen:

A rock, rising out of the earth, rising above a forest, standing so great and tall a palace was built atop it, a gate carved round with a lion’s paws, pools for pleasure, and a wall shined so long by touch it is a mirror. There are paintings and carvings still well preserved, and stairways carved up sheer rock face. This is Sigiriya.

A tube of rock, dark and hard, with rocks inside shaded different colours. There were no signs to tell you what a guidebook, or a geologist would. The stones were from the lava, that had poured down it, and the rainbow on their skin was from the temperature they cooled in the tube the lava had made. This was a lava tube.

An Oak, over 800 years old, spread wide in branches and in trunk, burned in some parts, bark peeled off, used to string swings on and to climb, and to hide by those who drop into the hole in it’s trunk. It still produces acorns. This is Old Knobbley.

Trees frozen in clay and stone, trees gone opalescent with age, trees from prehistory, with pieces that look, for a moment, like they could be naught but driftwood, driftwood in a desert. This is the Petrified Forest.

This is what I have seen:

Elephants dancing at a Perahera, as the Buddha’s tooth paraded around Kandy. They carried car batteries on their necks to power the fairy lights in the costumes they wore, and they danced to the beat of the drums as the fire dancers swirled their batons, as the dancers danced, as the drummers drummed (if someone says an elephant cannot dance, they’ve never seen a Perahera where more than sixty elephants swayed and paced to the music through the streets of Kandy).

Bones so ancient they have turned to rock, bones found in marshes and caves and graves, bones up to now. Australopithecus afarensis, Homo habilis, Homo ergaster, Homo sapiens sapiens. Bones that told the story of our history, of how we came down from trees, paced through Savannah - ran - and spread all the way around the world (if someone believes that Africa is insignificant, that the destruction throughout Africa and the Near East means nothing, they are the ones who are inhuman, and have forgotten that humankind was born there, in Africa, and Civilisation was born in Mesopotamia).

I have seen a blade knapped from stone, I have seen the path of tools, from spear, to atlatl, to bow and marvelled at the leap each took. Humans are more than people, we are minds, we invent and amaze eternal. 64,000 years ago someone realised that you could bend a stick and tie a string to it and use that to hunt. 64,000 years later we still use it. Bows are not primitive, bows are evidence of human leaps of logic.

I have seen the bright purple and yellow of crocuses, blooming too early against the frost, and I have seen the last snowdrops before the fields turn every colour but white. I have seen fields dotted with red poppies, and ones gone golden in summer heat. I have seen woods, green with life, live with sounds of birds and dogs and rabbits leaping through.

I have seen dogs show more compassion than a human, and cats more friendliness than I had thought them able. I have seen horses run for home and know the route perfectly, and a sparrowhawk, wing broken, still try to fly before the vets took it to heal. I have seen animals show more intelligence and more awareness than humans, and I have seen humans express compassion for a creature with wings rather than arms, with claws instead of nails, with small bright gold eyes and a beak, rather than soft human skin.

That, I think, is magic. The world, so ancient, and yet so new. We’ve discovered animals so small they can rest on a dime, or on your thumbnail, we’ve discovered animals where the males shrink to just their testes once they make contact with a female, we’ve found creatures that can see in more colours than our rainbow, and we’ve found creatures that can be sent to outer space, come back, and still live and breed.

That, I think, is real magic.

Blindly in Love

I sit on the bench in front of my apartment complex as I take in the cool air of fall. I feel a weight on the other end, so I turn to greet the person. “Ah, you’re here.”

“How’d you know? I could’ve been a stranger.”

“You just confirmed it by replying,” I chuckle at the obvious, but he isn’t buying it.

“No, really. How’d you know?”

“I can smell your cologne.”

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