dog judge

Chopped judge to contestant: Your meat is so undercooked it’s practically raw, your vegetables are burnt, your sauce tastes eerily like cough syrup, and we all saw you spit in our dishes after time was called. I will say, though, your flavors are good

Chopped contestant in post-round interview: I think I have a good chance of moving on

I find it that YOI fandom does not appreciate this cameo enough. So here you guys go. Another long post and no cut - sorry, not sorry.


Stephane Lambiel

What google says: Swiss figure skater/coach/choreographer. Olympic silver champion, 2 times world champion

What google does not say:

The Freaking GOD of Spinning

He’s Viktor Nikiforov the Skater

He’s also Viktor Nikiforov the Coach

As well as Viktor Nikiforov the Choreographer

He is the Phichit-type friend (meaning the greatest)

He’s got Georgi’s drama intensity,

Christophe’s sexy moves and ass

Yuuri’s mesmerizing footwork

And Michele’s chivalry

He’s THE PRIMA BALERINA 

 He is THE PLAYER in the “Eros” story

He’s also the most beautiful Lady in the town


And last but not least

HE IS THE DUETTO

AS WELL AS THE AFTERPARTY

Bonus: he’s also the cat

Now you know who that sexy French commenatry belongs to :D 


 Seriously though. Stephane Lambiel is a freaking Legend. He’s a great figure skater, a fierce athlete (had many injuries, retired, then made a comeback), an amazing performer, a blessed choreographer, an attentive coach, a wonderful friend (take any figure skater and you’ll find a dorky pic of them with Lambiel).

He is loved by everyone: women, men, dogs, cats, critics, judges, audience and fellow figure skaters.

And he should be loved by you.


Don’t believe me just watch:

“Poeta (Flamenco)”

“Overture Rossini”

“Don’t Stop the Music”

“Run”

Best Pun Ever

Mallory and Mark Kensington were two star struck lovers who had been married for 12 years. Mallory was a commercial airline pilot and Mark was the captain of a nuclear submarine. They were both very responsible with their money, lived simply, had no children, and no vices. The only exception to their frugality was their dog Max whom they doted on at every possible occasion. Unfortunately for Max, fate had terrible plans in store for him. One dark August day, Mallory and Mark were both at their respective jobs and in a cruel twist of fate suffered major mechanical failures at the same time. In a million to one oddity, they both perished in the astonishing first-of-its-kind airplane/submarine accident.

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so i was feeding my bird when i had a random thought: dear evan hansen characters and pets????

evan would totally have a dog (and he’ll name them after a kind of tree smh),,, imagine evan coming home after school and hes having a shit day and the dog is at the door jumping with joy and evan just melts because who knows how long his dog has been waiting on the door mat for him
he cries in bed, and the dog just jumps in bed with him and sleeps by his side and evan is like, instantly comforted
he swears the dog knows when evan is feeling like shit bc it always lies by his side when he is
evan loves his dog so much ok

evan brings zoe over and she just pets the dog and plays with it for hours probably

connor would totally have a cat?? a house cat if u will and sometimes when connor has like those mad mood swings hed just look at the cat and observe how chill it is and he’ll just sit there talking to the cat and asks how it even does that and idk. connor loves the cat. he cant sleep without the cat by his side
he also spoils the damn thing and appreciates it when the cat brings dead rats to him because wow it took all that effort to bring him a gift and at the same time kinda pissed bc “what you think i cant get my own food?? smh cat”

jared ?????? would have a BIRD?? idk man maybe its just me being biased but imagine jared having a talking bird and he just teaches the bird how to say inappropriate things like “penis” and thinks its funny until his mother catches the bird saying “penis” everytime she says a word to it lmao
jared loves his bird to the moon and back,, he put the cage next to his desk so he can have company while working on the computer and it always makes jared snort when its super quiet and he starts typing and the bird just says “penis” in response

PLS ADD MORE DEAR EVAN HANSEN CHARACTERS AND PETS??? I WANT MORE? OR MAYBE NOT BC THIS IS PROBABLY A SHIT IDEA

anonymous asked:

My friend does not believe me that ppl who judge dog shows are heartless (they get to pet SO MANY DOGS and they tell most of them that they're not the best dog ever) thoughts?

to keep myself from having to personally hunt down and assassinate every dog show judge, i will offer this rationale: they are not deciding which dog is BEST, they are deciding which dog is MOST DOG. ie. it is not that you are not the best dog, it is simply that you are not as perfect an embodiment of a jack russel terrier as this other dog. but still a very good dog. 

please dont make me hunt down all the dog show guys. i already have my hands so full of evil scientists and robots and fucking nazis again. 

every dog is the best dog. except that one jerk who stole my whole lunch in central park last summer. that jerk sucks. i waited in line for like an hour for that sandwich you little thief it was gonna be so good and you didnt even eat it you ran straight into a pond with it