dog in leaves

Here’s my shopping tips from me to you if you’ve never worked retail:

- if you use a hand basket instead of a cart please for the love of god empty your items onto the belt, don’t just sit your basket on the belt with your items in it. It’s much easier and faster for us to scan your items if you just put them on the belt and we will get you through checkout easier that way
- if you buy something big and heavy like a bag of dog food, either leave it in your cart with the barcode visible so the cashier can use the gun to scan it, or put it on the belt BARCODE UP so your cashier doesn’t have to flip your 50 pound bag over because you decided to be an asshole and put it on the belt with the picture facing up instead
- if you buy a lot of a small item (like cans of cat food) stack/organize them by type so it’s clear to the cashier how many of each thing you have. Depending on the system, every item may not need to be scanned and this way the cashier can scan one of each type and then type in a quantity instead of fumbling with 50 cans in random order
- put your cart back in the cart return or bring it back up to the store. DO NOT put the cart up halfway on a curb!!!! I know people don’t know better and think they’re helping by ensuring the cart doesn’t roll away and hit a car but you have no idea how time consuming and annoying it is to pull several carts backwards over a curb just to be able to collect them ): this is a huge pet peeve of mine
- if you take something off a shelf and want to put it back but aren’t sure where it goes, please don’t just discard it on a random aisle. At least take it back to the vicinity from which you took it so that it can be more easily put back by an employee
- don’t bitch to employees about how long the checkout line is because all it’s going to do is make them annoyed with you. It won’t make the line move faster and it wont make your shopping experience more pleasant. You just become a joke between coworkers
- if you knock something over with your cart, pick it up
- if you make a mess in any way, clean it up or if it’s beyond your ability (spills, broken glass) find an employee. Don’t just leave it
- in general just please remember the people who work in stores are human beings with feelings and energy levels and an actual person has to go behind you and clean up your messes. Any little amount of self containment you can manage will make their shifts and lives that much easier

I see your Frat Boy Vitya headcanons and I raise you:

Yuuri Katsuki being dragged to his first frat party after line three years at college spent just trying to blend into whatever wall is nearest. This is never going to happen and Yuuri thinks it’s because everyone is just amazed at how little of his shit he has together.

(They aren’t. “Fucking LOOK at him,” sighs many a sexually frustrated undergrad while pining loudly in Yuuri’s direction. Yuuri scuttles away with his hood closed almost completely around his face.)

Yuuri arrives at the party and immediately finds The Dog.

“There’s a dog here,” he tells Phichit, and spends the next three hours sitting on the floor with the dog.

“How are you?” he asks the dog very seriously as the dog slowly licks his shoulder. This is a Premium Dog. “Yes, good. Is my shoulder tasty? I’m so glad. I’m so glad you find my shoulder tasty. Whose dog are you?” The dog’s tags are in Cyrillic, which is really weird. Yuuri squints at the tag and finally says, “Whoever Binktop is, he has a really good dog.”

“Makkachin,” someone says eventually, and the dog gets up and goes to the interloper. 

“No, come back,” Yuuri whimpers as the dog leaves. He doesn’t go far–the guy who called him is standing on the edge of he crowd wearing Chinos and Gucci sunglasses.

They’re inside. At night.

“Are you Binktop?” Yuuri asks him blearily. People have been bringing him drinks the whole time he’s been sitting with the dog and he doesn’t know what that’s about. Probably they feel sorry for him.

(”I brought him a drink, Chad,” says a certain dejected brother of Iota Sigma Upsilon. “He took it but he looked like he was going to cry. All he said was I don’t need your pity. I don’t understand?”)

“Excuse me?” asks Binktop. There is some sort of expensive imported cider in his hand. He looks down at his dog as though he will know the answer.

Yuuri points at the dog’s tags. “Binktop. His owner.”

“Oh,” says Binktop. He bends down to show Yuuri that, on the backside of the tag he’d been looking at, the same information is listed in English. “No. Viktor.”

Yuuri frowns and squints. “You look more like a Binktop to me.” He holds out a hand for Makkachin the Dog and waits until he comes to sniff it. “You have a really good dog, Binktop. He’s a great dog.”

“You’re that figure skater, right?” Binktop asks, crouching down next to his dog. “Yuuri Katsuki?”

“Yes,” Yuuri sighs dejectedly. “That’s me.”

“Sick,” Binktop says.

“Yes, I am,” Yuuri says. “Do you have a bathroom, Binktop?”

He and Binktop spend half the night on the floor of the president of Iota Sigma Upsilon’s en-suite bathroom. Yuuri doesn’t know why Binktop chose to bring him to this bathroom, but it’s the one they’re in. Binktop doesn’t really seem interested in leaving, either. He holds Yuuri’s hair for him and listens to him talk about his family. Makkachin the Really Good Dog is there.

“It would probably be a good idea if you stayed here tonight,” Binktop says slowly after several hours of this. Yuuri stopped puking a awhile ago, thankfully. “I don’t know who you came here with, or where you live. I don’t think you do either.”

“Okay, I’m just gonna–” Yuuri climbs into the shower and curls up at the bottom. “This is good. I’m gonna sleep here, okay Binktop?”

“You could–I mean, if you want–my bed is softer.”

Yuuri glares at Binktop over his shoulder.

“No! I swear, no funny business. I’ll crash in Chris’ room. Or Micky or–someone, I promise.”

“Hmm. Okay.”

Binktop helps Yuuri get into bed and leaves a bucket next to him and makes him drink a glass of water. When he tries to take Makkachin with him, Yuuri tosses the covers back and says, “The good boy stays,” and Makkachin hops up. Binktop looks at Yuuri like he’s stolen something from him. The dog, probably.

(”I’m in love,” Viktor says to Chris later that night, swooning on Chris’ floor. “He stole my heart, right there!”)

Yuuri finds out later that Binktop is, in fact, Viktor Nikiforov. Viktor Nikiforov whose parents are major benefactors to the university. The gym where Yuuri trains is called the Nikiforov Intramural Sports Complex.

Viktor Nikiforov is the president of Iota Sigma Upsilon.

“Oh shit,” Yuuri whispers to himself.

“Do you want to go to breakfast?” Viktor Nikiforov asks him, looking a little less douchy in the light of day. Now that he’s not dressed up for a party, he’s wearing normal-person clothes, jeans and a university sweatshirt. His hair is ungelled and he looks nice and handsome. “I’ll walk you home first so you can change.”

“Okay,” Yuuri says softly.

Yuuri goes to breakfast with Viktor Nikiforov and then goes back to the Iota Sigma Upsilon house, where Viktor skillfully eats him out and announces that he intends to become Yuuri’s boyfriend.

The brothers of Iota Sigma Upsilon hoot and holler at Yuuri and Viktor’s wedding when Chris gets up with a microphone and says, “Let me tell you about how Yuuri and Viktor met! It started with a party and a dog…”

5

4+ hours of gameplay and im this deep 

the last comic is actually true if you try to hack wrench lmao

2

s3e08 - wizard battle

click for better quality!